Under the Sun

Author: enigmaticblue

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Sure, if you already have my stuff. If not, just ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters herein; Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and other lucky folks do. Of course, I'm not the one making money off of them.

Summary: Set after Avocation in an alternate S4 where many events of canon get thrown out the window. This one won't make any sense if you haven't read the previous story.

A/N: The title comes from Ecclesiastes, which most people know from the phrase, "A time for everything, and a season for everything under heaven." Really, this story is based on the entire book, which is probably my favorite in the Bible. It talks about making the most of what one has now, and while some find it depressing, I love it. If you've got the time, I'd really recommend you read the whole thing.

Chapter 33

"Those envied places which do know her well,/And are so scornful of this lonely place,/Even now for once are emptied of her grace:/Nowhere but here she is: and while Love's spell/From his predominant presence doth compel/All alien hours, an outworn populace,/The hours of Love fill full the echoing space/With sweet confederate music favourable./Now many memories make solicitous/The delicate love-lines of her mouth, till, lit/With quivering fire, the words take wing from it;/As here between our kisses we sit thus/Speaking of things remembered, and so sit/Speechless while things forgotten call to us." ~Dante Gabriel Rossetti, "A Day of Love"

Riley was still struggling with Willow's earlier reaction. When she'd been in Professor Walsh's class, she'd always been friendly towards him; today, she had been down-right hostile. The man she had been with had been prepared to pull a weapon on him, and he'd looked dangerous. Somehow, Riley hadn't pegged Willow as the sort to hang out with a guy like that.

Besides, after what Willow had said—she'd thought he was a nice guy, but she apparently didn't think so any longer. Riley could only assume that Buffy's friends had been told a very different story from the one the soldiers had given. It didn't make any sense at all.

Riley Finn had always been known as a good guy. He'd done well in school, performed well on the basketball court for his high school, joined ROTC to get through college, and followed orders. He believed in his mission, and he hadn't hesitated to join up with the Initiative when the recruiter had told him that he would have the opportunity to save lives and make a real difference.

That's all he'd really wanted, was to make a difference.

While he knew that the other soldiers within the Initiative looked on Buffy with suspicion and some measure of disdain—she'd wiped the floor with them in every exercise, after all—Riley liked her. What's more, he admired her, recognizing in Buffy that same sense of duty he felt in himself; being the Slayer was more than a job to her, just as being a soldier was more than drawing a paycheck to him.

At the same time, Riley trusted his men, and he trusted Professor Walsh; if they said that the Slayer had switched sides, then he had no choice but to believe them.

And yet that uncomfortable feeling just wouldn't go away.

After turning it over and over in his mind, Riley deliberately determined not to think about it. There was nothing he could do to discover the truth behind what had happened, not until some of the men who had been injured were out of the infirmary or Forrest was out of quarantine. Or, in the alternative, Riley could get one of Buffy's friends to tell him what they knew. Until then, Riley would do what he'd always done: take his vitamins and follow orders.

Even though it felt as though everything was just a little off.

~~~~~

Tara entered the house, feeling just a little bit nervous; it would be the first time she would be meeting any of Willow or Wesley's friends, with the exception of Spike. Really, she'd only gotten a glimpse of him, so Tara didn't feel as though she'd actually "met" him.

What made the nerves worse was that she was going to be one of the anchors for the locator spell, and if it didn't work, she would be to blame. Well, they would all be responsible, but since she was the only person unknown to the rest of the group, Tara felt as though there was extra pressure on her to perform well.

She felt Wesley's hand brush her shoulder in a friendly gesture, and when she glanced up at him, he offered her a reassuring smile. "I promise we don't bite," he murmured.

Tara couldn't help the shy smile that crossed her face.

Willow started the introductions as they entered the living room. "Tara, this is Giles—he's Buffy's Watcher, and Mrs. Summers." Tara nodded nervously at the middle aged man and woman; she never was quite sure what to do about authority figures—particularly male authority figures. "And this is Xander and Anya," Willow finished, indicating the young man and woman who both appeared to be her own age. "Xander's the one we're linking the spell to."

"Hi." It was about the only word she could manage with stuttering horribly, and Tara didn't feel like fighting to speak.

Wesley stepped in smoothly. "Did you get the personal items, Xander?"

Xander nodded. "I think so." He looked a little anxious. "I wasn't sure what to bring, so I grabbed a couple of things, just in case."

"That should be fine," Wesley said. "It just needs to be an item that's connected to you."

Xander shrugged and placed his favorite comic book on the coffee table. "As long as the spell isn't going to damage it," he warned.

"It won't," Willow assured him.

One by one, they placed their items on the table next to Xander's; a scarf for Anya, a book for Giles, one of Joyce's necklaces, Mr. Gordo for Buffy, Spike's spare cigarette lighter, Willow's pentacle, one of Wesley's toy soldiers from his childhood, and a ring for Tara that her mother had given her.

"That should work nicely," Wesley said, sounding satisfied with the motley assortment. "We'll get the circle set up, and then we can cast the spell."

"Did you want to do it in here?" Joyce asked. "There might be more room in the basement."

"The basement might be better," Willow acknowledged. "What do you think, Wes?"

"Let's go downstairs," he decided.

Tara felt more comfortable once they began the preparations; although she'd never actually performed magic with either Wesley or Willow, she was at ease with them by now. The circle itself was fairly large, with the three of them seated on the edges and Xander in the middle, the various personal items placed around him.

Wesley, as the most experienced, began the spell, with first Willow joining him, and then Tara. She could feel the existing bond between the two, the camaraderie that was present, and she was grateful when she joined them almost effortlessly. The magic swirled around the three of them, and she added her own strength as they began tying the individuals to the maps one by one.

The maps were spread out in front of Wesley, and Tara could see the points of light form as they spoke the words of the spell for each person. Spike and Buffy came first, and the dual points became one, hovering over the map of the continental United States, somewhere north of Sunnydale. Each point was tinted a slightly different shade, as were the others that appeared over the map of Sunnydale.

When each person had been tied into the spell, the three of them spoke the final words of the locator spell and the points of light disappeared, becoming nothing more than colored dots on a map. Of course, if someone watched the dots for long enough, they would move of their own accord.

Once each person had been tied into the spell, it was time to key the maps to Xander, and Tara could feel Wesley beginning to falter slightly, his strength nearly gone. Tara was coming to the end of her power as well, and she could feel Willow increasing the energy she was putting into the spell to pick up the slack.

When the last words had been spoken, Tara could see Wesley slump wearily. "Are you okay?" Willow asked anxiously, rising as quickly as she could to go to him.

"Just a little tired," he assured her, summoning up a weary smile.

Willow looked to Tara. "How about you?"

"F-f-fine," Tara said firmly. "A little t-tired, but n-not b-b-bad." She rose a little shakily, glancing over in surprise when Xander took her arm to steady her.

"That was pretty cool," he commented, looking at the maps spread out on the floor. "But did it work?"

"Why don't you test it out?" Willow asked.

Xander glanced at Tara to make sure she would be okay, then took the maps that Willow was holding out to him. "So what do I do?"

"Think about wanting to find Spike and Buffy," Willow directed.

Xander looked skeptical, but his forehead furrowed in concentration. After a few seconds, his face cleared. "Hey, look at that!"

Anya, Giles, and Joyce came to look over his shoulder. Two dots, one black, one crimson, had appeared on the map, both hovering over a town about four hours north of Sunnydale. "Where am I?" Anya asked, sounding rather impressed.

Xander put the first map down and focused on the second. After a moment, a cluster of multi-colored dots appeared on Revello Drive, where the Summers' house would be. "How does Xander clear the map?" Giles asked, sounding concerned. "If he forgets..."

"It doesn't matter," Wesley said. "A few seconds out of Xander's hands, and they'd disappear. Look." He pushed himself to his feet with Willow's help and picked up the other map. The points representing Spike and Buffy had disappeared, just as he'd said.

"Well done," Giles murmured, giving the three spell-casters an approving look. "This is amazing."

"We wouldn't have been able to do it without Tara," Willow said loyally, wanting to be sure that everyone understood what an asset the other witch was. "She figured out how to make sure the maps survived the spell."

"Yes, we're happy to have your assistance, Tara," Giles stated.

Joyce nodded. "I think Wesley needs to sit down before he falls down. Why don't you come upstairs until you're recovered? We can order pizza for dinner."

"That would be good," Wesley said, looking very pale. "That took a bit more out of me than I had expected."

"It w-w-was a b-big spell," Tara said, wanting to reassure him.

"A really big spell," Willow said firmly, putting an arm around his waist.

Tara watched as the others filed upstairs, following Wesley and Willow, and she felt a warm glow of accomplishment. "Are you coming, Tara?" Giles asked, waiting for her to precede him. She gave him a smile in thanks, and started up the stairs, feeling for the first time in a long time as though she might have found a place to belong.

~~~~~

Buffy leaned back into the overstuffed cushions of the couch, flipping through the pages of a fashion magazine while waiting for Spike to finish his conversation with the hotel manager. The plan was to stay another two nights and then head to Los Angeles so Spike could see a couple friends of his that he thought might be able to help.

She had no idea how they would help, but Buffy trusted that Spike knew what he was talking about, and Giles thought it was going to be another few days before it was safe to come back to Sunnydale. Just because the Council had agreed to negotiate with the people in charge of the Initiative, that didn't mean they'd get anywhere very fast.

Apparently, since the Initiative was supposed to be a big secret, that made negotiating a much slower process.

Buffy couldn't say she minded postponing getting back into town, though, since it would mean having to deal with the Initiative, and all the other things that came with being the Slayer. Here, they were just Buffy and Spike, one more couple on vacation.

She thought she might be able to get used to dating someone with money.

Sensing someone watching her, Buffy glanced up to see a little girl staring at her in open-mouthed fascination. The child's human features and gray-green skin indicated that she was of mixed parentage, and Buffy couldn't help but wonder if this was one of the few times the girl didn't have to worry about looking different.

Well, given her age, it was probably her parents who worried about it.

"You're really pretty," the little girl whispered when she realized she had Buffy's attention.

Buffy smiled, charmed by the earnest compliment. "Thank you. I think you're pretty, too."

"Inna, what did I tell you about wandering off?" A harried-looking woman, who didn't appear to be much older than Buffy, hurried over. "I'm sorry if she was bothering you."

"She wasn't bothering me," Buffy replied.

The woman managed a smile, then took Inna by the hand and hurried her off, the child looking back over her shoulder at Buffy.

Buffy waved at her, watching as the woman met a demon by the door, his skin color marking him as Inna's likely father. He picked the girl up and settled her on one hip, then put an arm around the woman's shoulders. The Slayer watched them leave, feeling a pang, knowing that they weren't safe.

That small family wouldn't survive the Initiative's schemes, that was for sure.

"Makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

Buffy looked up to see Spike standing next to her. His eyes were on the door, and she realized that he'd seen the same thing she had. "Wonder what?" she asked, standing up and putting an arm around his waist.

"Wonder what's going to happen to them," Spike said quietly. "It would be hard to bring a kid into this world, knowing you wouldn't ever find a place for them to be at peace."

Buffy sighed. "Are there many?"

"Many half-breeds?" Spike asked, leading the way towards the front doors. He'd promised her a trip to the shops in the nearby town. "Dunno, really. I imagine that there are a fair number. Most will pass for human if they can, and you'd never know the difference. Others find a place where they can among demons, and some..."

He trailed off, and Buffy suddenly understood that he was one of those who had largely made his way alone. She could imagine that a souled vampire would find it very difficult to fit in among either demons or humans.

In some ways, as the Slayer, Buffy could relate.

"I didn't realize," she admitted as they stepped out into the bright sunshine. She put on her sunglasses, watching as Spike did the same; Buffy wondered when he'd purchased them, because she didn't think she's seen him with them before.

"Realize what, pet?" he asked, opening the passenger door for her.

Buffy waited until he'd joined her inside the car before continuing. "I'm the Vampire Slayer," Buffy explained. "I kill vampires, and sometimes demons when it's necessary. I never really thought of demons as having families or going on vacation or anything like that."

Spike was quiet for a long moment before he responded. "This is the side of things that Slayers don't get to see," he said quietly. "Most vampires, and a good number of demons, don't want anything to do with humans. They know who the Slayer is, and they don't see any need to draw attention to themselves."

"So what you're saying is that I haven't been slaying innocents all these years?" Buffy said, trying to sound light-hearted, but not quite making it.

Spike sighed. "Buffy, you're the Slayer. I highly doubt the demons you kill are even close to innocent, and the vampires certainly aren't. You're—" He was obviously searching for a way to explain. "You're part of the natural order of things, luv. There's always been a Slayer, and she's always dusted vampires and killed demons and prevented the world from going to hell. These soldiers, they're something different."

Buffy nodded, looking out the window, remembering the harried woman and her daughter, wondering if she would have viewed the little girl as an actual person before knowing Spike.

"Don't."

She looked back over at him. "What?"

"Whatever you're thinking, don't," Spike said. "You do the right thing, Buffy, even when it hurts. There's no need to be questioning yourself now."

"How can I not?" Buffy asked. "I thought the Initiative was doing the right thing."

Spike pulled up in front of a small coffee shop, at the edge of a group of shops. "Come on."

She followed him inside, wondering what they were doing here. Buffy let him order for her, unsurprised when he knew exactly what she wanted. He got a cup of coffee for himself as well and then led her over to a small table. Spike didn't seem interested in meeting her eyes, instead focusing on the steam rising from his coffee.

"It wasn't long after I got my soul anchored that I ran into a group of men—demon hunters, actually—who were intent on killing vampires." Spike's eyes were dark with old memories. "I nearly got myself dusted on my first run-in with them, but it didn't take them long to realize that I'd be a valuable asset." He chuckled, although the sound held little humor. "I talked them into it, to be honest. They didn't much care if I had a soul or not, and it was the only way I could see to get out of there with my skin intact."

"What happened?" Buffy asked.

Spike shrugged. "They killed vampires; I helped them do it. It was fine for a while, because I had no problem with their mission in a general sense. I just pictured Angelus' face every time I dusted one." He met her eyes for the first time. "And then one day we came across a pocket of demons. Peaceful buggers, just trying to find a remote location so they could live decently."

Buffy swallowed. "You killed them."

Spike shook his head. "No, but a lot of them died before the end. I tried to talk them out of it, but when I left to get something to eat that night, they went without me. By the time I caught up, they'd done a lot of damage."

"Oh." Spike's situation hadn't been the same, but there were parallels; Buffy understood what he was saying, though. He'd had a long time to learn about ulterior motives, and a lot of experiences along the way. Buffy had a tendency to forget how much he'd seen and done sometimes, and instead treat him like one of her friends.

In reality, Spike's actual age made it like dating—well, maybe she wouldn't go there.

It was a good reminder, though, that there was one more reason to go to Spike first before jumping into something with both feet.

One of these days Buffy might learn her lesson.

"I guess we've both done things we wish we could take back," Buffy said quietly.

Spike gave her a rueful smile. "Live long enough, and that's what happens."

Buffy just reached for his hand, grateful when he entwined his fingers with hers. At least this mistake was one she could fix.

~~~~~

Xander glanced over at Anya, making sure she was still deeply asleep. He picked up the map of Sunnydale and concentrated, watching as the multi-colored dots appeared. Tara was back on campus, Willow and Wesley were at his apartment, and Giles and Joyce were at home.

He put the map down, watching as the points of color faded away, leaving nothing behind to indicate it was more than it was.

That's how he felt these days: completely and utterly ordinary.

Back in high school, Xander had been in the middle of things, helping to save the world. Of course, back then all the action had been in the library, and he'd been there every day anyway. Now, it seemed they'd all gone their separate ways. Xander was out of the loop more than he was in it, and while he appreciated being the one holding the maps, he also knew that he'd been chosen because he wasn't involved anymore.

No one would know that he was part of the Scooby gang; there was nothing about him that would give it away.

Xander had to wonder if he was even part of the gang.

"Xander? Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Go back to sleep, Anya. It's late."

"Are you okay?" He felt the bed shift as she propped herself up to look at him through the darkness. "Why were you playing with the map?"

"Because it's cool," Xander admitted, thinking about eating pizza afterwards. It had been almost like old times—or it would have been if Buffy and Spike had been there. No one seemed to know when they'd be able to come back to town, though, or if it would ever be safe enough. Giles seemed to think that the Watcher's Council would be able to work something out, but there was no guarantee.

He'd ended up offering his services for patrol, since Buffy wasn't going to be around for the foreseeable future. Xander had seen Wesley and Giles exchange a look, as though communicating about whether or not it was a good idea. "I'm sure Buffy would appreciate that," Giles had finally said. "Why don't you talk with Wesley and Willow? They already told me that they'd be happy to help."

Xander was having a hard time understanding how Willow had ended up dating Wesley. Oz had been cool—really cool, as in much cooler than Xander himself. Wesley, on the other hand, was...

Well, he was getting a lot better, that was for sure. Xander was beginning to understand why Spike had hired him, and why Willow would want to date him.

It just seemed a little harsh that Wesley—who had been such a loser—would now manage to have a girlfriend and a cool job and a cool motorcycle, while Xander was stuck in his parents' basement with nothing.

Except for a girl. Xander couldn't help but think that if he didn't have Anya, he really wouldn't have much of anything.

"Are you okay?" Anya asked again, worry and irritation in her tone in equal measure.

"Yeah, Anya, I'm fine," Xander finally replied. He kissed her, reassuring her as much as himself that neither one of them were going anywhere.

If nothing else, Xander had the girl.