Under the Sun

Author: enigmaticblue

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Sure, if you already have my stuff. If not, just ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters herein; Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and other lucky folks do. Of course, I'm not the one making money off of them.

Summary: Set after Avocation in an alternate S4 where many events of canon get thrown out the window. This one won't make any sense if you haven't read the previous story.

A/N: The title comes from Ecclesiastes, which most people know from the phrase, "A time for everything, and a season for everything under heaven." Really, this story is based on the entire book, which is probably my favorite in the Bible. It talks about making the most of what one has now, and while some find it depressing, I love it. If you've got the time, I'd really recommend you read the whole thing.

Chapter 45

"Twice or thrice had I loved thee,/Before I knew thy face or name,/So in a voice, so in a shapeless flame,/Angels affect us oft, and worship'd be;/Still when, to where thou wert, I came,/Some lovely glorious nothing I did see./But since my soul, whose child love is,/Takes limbs of flesh, and else could nothing do,/More subtile than the parent is,/Love must not be, but take a body too,/And therefore what thou wert, and who,/I bid Love ask, and now/That it assume thy body, I allow,/And fix itself in thy lip, eye, and brow...Then as an Angel, face, and wings/Of air, not pure as it, yet pure doth wear,/So thy love may be my love's sphere..." ~John Donne, "Air and Angels"

Willow froze, her hands poised over the keyboard, and Riley stood up straight, ready to intervene if necessary. The screen was facing away from the door, but there was no way that the other soldier wouldn't see the glow of the screen in the darkened room.

"Look, I told Carlisle that he was seeing things, and that I would check it out, but you can't be found in here," Graham went on. "I don't know how long I can cover for you." He paused. "Be careful, Ri. I think Walsh is going to try to blame Adam's escape on you. She was talking about how you were a loose cannon, and that's why he got out. Most of the guys aren't buying it, though. Just—be careful."

It was probably the longest speech Riley had ever heard Graham make, possibly because Riley himself didn't usually stay silent. As soon as the other man was gone, Riley whispered, "Willow? We have to leave. Now."

"I've got it," Willow replied softly, hitting a few more keys and then ejecting the disk. "Okay."

"Did you get what we needed, Will?" Buffy asked.

Willow shook her head. "I got everything I could. I think we're just going to have to hope that it's good enough."

Riley ushered them out the door. "It had better be enough, because there isn't much chance that we're going to be successful at this again."

They fell silent after that out of necessity; while it was obvious that the cloaking spell had failed momentarily, it was apparently working again, and it wouldn't do to blow their cover by speaking where someone could hear them. Riley led them down the corridors, thankful that, at this late hour, there were very few people about.

He could feel the eyes of the demons on them as they passed the cells on the way out; Riley knew that they had other means of sensing things passing by other than sight. He couldn't get Spike's words out of his head. His whole world had been turned completely upside down in the last few months, and he wasn't all that happy about it. In reality, Riley had been just as happy with his clear-cut black and white world.

There was no going back at this point, though, even if he had no idea how to go forward—or where he would go.

Where he could go. He certainly couldn't go home; the Army would look for him there. Riley knew he'd have to call his parents soon, before the military did it for him. Or perhaps they wouldn't call, and would just make sure he had a "training accident."

And maybe his body would wind up as the foundation for the next cyborg.

Riley swallowed hard, shoving the thought to the back of his mind. The idea that they would use what was left of him to create something like Adam was abhorrent and frightening; what would happen to him if they did that—to the man called Riley Finn? Would he be gone, or would some part of him linger in the flesh?

Did Adam remember who he had been before Walsh had diced him up? Was there some small part of him waiting to be released, as if from prison?

"Riley?" Buffy's voice called him back to himself, and he realized that they were nearing the end of the tunnels. He'd been lost in his thoughts, and flushed in shame at the realization, knowing that they might have been attacked along the way. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied.

She frowned. "You don't look fine. You're sweating."

"The tunnels were hot," he replied dismissively. Riley wasn't feeling all that great, but there was nothing they could do about it. He had to get the girls out of the woods and back to Giles' apartment; that was his job, and he was responsible for them.

He didn't see the look that Buffy and Willow exchanged, but Buffy grabbed his arm, pulling him outside the cave and pushing him into a seated position on the ground. "Don't move," she ordered, pulling out a cell phone.

"Hey, Wes. Where's Spike?" he heard her ask as he put his head between his knees. Riley could feel the sweat trickling down his back, and he fought back the sick fear in his gut. Adam could be anywhere; they could run into one of the Initiative patrols. How would he be able to protect them?

"Sure thing," Buffy said, ending the conversation. She squatted down next to him, looking at Willow and then meeting his eyes. "Wesley's going to pick us up. I don't think you're in any shape to be walking back."

Riley shook his head. "We shouldn't stay here. It's too exposed. They'll find us."

"They aren't going to find us," Buffy replied, motioning to the brush that surrounded them. "As long as we keep quiet, there's not much that could find us, and Wesley said he'd be here in fifteen minutes. He thought the others could keep up the spell that long, anyway."

Willow appeared concerned. "Is he okay?"

"He said that Spike pulled him out before he was completely exhausted," Buffy replied. "And the others seem to be fine." She gripped his arm. "I just need you to hang in there, Riley, alright?"

Riley nodded, swallowing down the fear and hoping that he could manage to keep from going crazy, because he felt like he could crawl out of his skin.

~~~~~

Wesley neared the cave's entrance and called Giles' apartment. When Oz picked up, he said, "I'm here. Release the spell."

"It's done," Oz said a few seconds later. "Be careful."

Wesley put the phone away, smiling with relief when Willow emerged from the bushes. "Wesley."

"Are you alright, love?" he asked, going to her immediately.

"I'm fine, but Buffy needs your help with Riley," she replied.

Wesley watched as Buffy coaxed the big soldier out; the other man was shaking and sweating, glancing around in fear. "Wes? A little help here?"

At Buffy's words, Wesley went to Riley's side. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Riley said through chattering teeth.

Wesley drew one arm over his shoulder and started walking him towards the car. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Buffy replied. "He started sweating and shaking in the cave tunnels; he was talking to himself, too. I just wanted to get us out of there as quickly as I could."

"A good idea," he agreed. Wesley looked at Riley's eyes and winced. "He looks as though he's coming off something."

Buffy frowned. "What are you talking about?" she asked, still speaking in a whisper. "Riley doesn't take drugs."

"He may not have known he was taking them," Wesley said with dawning realization. If the Initiative was truly trying to build a better soldier, they would start with the men they already had at their disposal; this certainly wouldn't have been the first time that the military experimented on its own men.

Willow's eyes widened, then narrowed. "I wish I could say I was surprised," she said bitterly. "I don't think anything the government does will shock me now."

"This is only one segment of the government, Willow," Wesley reminded her. "And with any luck, they won't be around for much longer." He unlocked the car, letting the girls get into the back seat before putting Riley in the front. The soldier was barely coherent, wrapping his arms around himself as he shook with the chills from his withdrawal.

Buffy looked anxiously from Riley to Wesley. "Isn't there anything we can do for him?"

"We can wait it out," Wesley replied. "Time will have to do the rest."

~~~~~

Spike didn't want to feel sympathy for one of the soldiers, but he found himself doing so anyway. Riley had insisted that he didn't want to go to bed; he wanted to see what kind of information Willow had managed to retrieve. While no one was sure that that was a good idea, no one wanted to argue with the rather agitated man; it was just easier to allow him to stay.

Willow had been busy accessing the data on the disk, using the printer Joyce had brought over when Giles called with his request. Now, Joyce was snuggled up next to Giles on his couch as they spoke in low voices. Wesley was leaning over Willow's shoulder, watching the data scroll by as she printed off what they needed.

Buffy, for lack of any other place to sit, was on Spike's lap, and Tara was fussing over Riley, trying to make him comfortable on the other end of the couch. Xander, Oz, and Anya were scattered around the room, wherever they could find a spot to sit. It was crowded, but no one had made any move to leave; everyone wanted to know how Adam could be stopped.

"Wait, I've got it," Willow exclaimed. "Adam's specifications." Her eyes went round as she continued to read. "Oh."

"What is it, Will?" Xander said, squeezing Anya's hand. He didn't like Willow's tone; he knew it didn't bode well.

She didn't respond, and Wesley finally spoke. "There's a picture of—the man they used for Adam in here."

"Who was he?" Riley asked hoarsely.

"He was a soldier." Wesley was silent for what seemed like a long time. "His neck was broken."

Buffy was the only one brave enough to ask. "Was he dead when...?"

"Only after the military pulled the plug," Wesley finally replied. "It doesn't appear as though anyone's permission was given to do so."

"How was he hurt?" Riley asked.

"Some kind of training exercise," Willow replied.

Riley stood, dropping the blanket that Tara had wrapped around his shoulders. "We can't stay here. We have to stop them. They can't do this. They can't take—"

"It wasn't just a dead soldier they took," Spike said, almost snarling. "It was a lot of live demons as well."

Riley opened his mouth to reply; from the look on his face, it wasn't going to be very complimentary.

"That's enough," Buffy said calmly. Her eyes begged Spike not to make an issue, and the vampire backed off with a sigh. Now wasn't the time to point out the error of Riley's assumptions—he was in no condition for something like that.

She turned back to Riley. "Riley, we're going to stop Adam, I promise, but you need to rest. You're in no shape to do anything about him right now." Buffy looked at her Watcher. "Can he use your bed?"

"I'll take him up," Joyce said, ever the mother. "Come on, Riley. You look like you need to lie down for a little while."

Riley shook his head, obviously confused. "I don't know. Shouldn't I—"

"Come upstairs, Riley," Joyce said in what the others recognized as her full-out 'Mom' voice. "You aren't going to do anybody any good if you collapse."

The soldier followed Joyce upstairs docilely enough, and Spike treated his girlfriend to a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes in return, although her expression was sympathetic. "You're both right, Spike," she said quietly. "They had no right to what they took, and we're going to stop them."

Spike nodded, mollified by her words. "Yeah, luv, suppose they didn't. Question is how we're to stop Mr. Bits."

"His power source is located approximately where the heart would be," Willow said. "It's got a uranium core, so it's virtually inexhaustible, but if we could pull it out, that would stop him. It's the only thing that would."

Xander, who hadn't seen Adam yet, asked, "How hard can that be? Spike can hold his arms while Buffy yanks it out."

Spike snorted. "It's not that easy. Bastard's tough, and quicker than he ought to be." He frowned speculatively. "Besides, there ought to be a way to stop him and shut down the Initiative, too."

"What are you thinking?" Giles asked.

Spike smirked. "What with Adam, and whatever drugs they're feeding those soldiers, there's got to be plenty of them who aren't so happy with the current administration, right?"

Buffy nodded. "That's basically what Graham said. He let us go, even though he didn't have to, and probably shouldn't have. He always seemed to be one of the decent ones, but there are probably more like him. What are you thinking Spike?"

"I say we uncover the whole thing at once," Spike said. "They haven't all seen Adam yet. I say we make sure that they do see him, see what he's capable of doing. And I say we set the demons loose."

Willow's eyes widened. "Spike, that's—is that a good idea? Some of them probably shouldn't be set free."

"Didn't say they'd make it out alive, necessarily," Spike replied, sounding more nonchalant than he felt about it. "Controlled chaos. I've done it a couple of times in the past; you can get rid of a lot of enemies at once that way, and it's about the only thing I can think of to make sure that the army takes a loss."

"It's going to take a big loss for them to shut the project down." Wesley's voice was calm. "It will have to be carefully done."

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose; he knew what kind of a death toll Spike was talking about, and while not all of them would be innocents, some of them would be. "I think we should talk about this," he said. "If it isn't very carefully planned, it could come out badly."

Spike met his eyes. "I know. This isn't a decision to be made lightly, but you've seen what they're willing to do to meet their objectives. Total failure is the only thing that would discourage them from attempting this again."

Giles nodded reluctantly. "I don't believe that you're wrong."

Joyce came downstairs just then. "Do you think we ought to take him to the doctor?" she asked in a low voice so that her words wouldn't carry upstairs.

"I think it's too risky," Giles said regretfully. "They'll be looking for that."

"Someone will have to stay with him," Joyce said, nodding as though she'd expected that response.

"I can."

Everyone looked over at Oz, who had spoken for the first time. "Are you sure?" Willow ventured.

Oz shrugged. "Everyone else probably has somewhere to be, and I'm not holding a grudge."

It made sense, and Buffy nodded, relieved. "That would be a huge help, Oz."

"I could stay, too," Tara said softly. "I have some studying to do anyway. I can do it here just as well as at the library, and I-I've taken care of sick people before."

"You don't have to do that, Tara," Wesley said gently.

She shook her head firmly. "I don't m-m-mind."

"Thank you," Wesley said. "There probably ought to be two people here, just in case."

He didn't say just in case of what, but no one had to ask; there were any number of things that could happen on the Hellmouth, and it was always better to be safe than sorry.

"Call if you need anything," Spike said. "Don't be hesitant, pet."

Tara nodded shyly, embarrassed as always by the attention. "Okay."

As they all filtered out, Buffy glanced over at Spike hopefully. "I've still got energy to burn."

He grinned. "Better take care of that, then."

~~~~~

"How are you doing?" Willow asked quietly once they'd reached Wesley's apartment; she knew how much spells like that could take out of a person.

"I'm a little tired," Wesley admitted. "If Spike hadn't stepped in when he did, I probably would have been completely drained."

Willow winced. "Then I'm glad Spike stepped in. I'm sorry it took me so long to crack the code."

"Don't apologize," Wesley said, touching her cheek. "You got the information we needed, and that's what's important."

Willow pulled his head down for a kiss, knowing that the time they had now was a brief respite; this thing with the Initiative was bound to come to a head soon. "Do you know what Spike was thinking?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly, although I have some idea. I think he means to make certain that the underground laboratories are unusable, as well as ensuring that those in charge believe their experiment to be a complete failure."

Willow's eyes widened as she began to catch a glimpse of what that would mean. "That's—a lot of people could get killed."

"Yes, they could," Wesley replied steadily, although his eyes were troubled.

Willow thought she understood why Giles hadn't been enthusiastic about the idea; the more people that were killed, the less chance there would be of the military doing something like this again, particularly if more soldiers than demons were killed. Still, while Spike might not have much trouble with the idea of the soldiers being killed, some of them were bound to be more like Riley—decent guys who were doing the wrong thing with the best of intentions.

She hesitated before saying, "I got a chance to look at where the Initiative's power was coming from. I think I could cut the power from the outside."

Wesley took a deep breath. "I see."

"Do you think I should have told Spike?"

"Not tonight," Wesley said firmly. "Giles was right; this is something that we need to think about very carefully before making a decision. And anyway, I have other plans for tonight."

Willow didn't have any problem with Wesley's plans.

~~~~~

Maggie Walsh immediately knew that someone had been messing around in her office when she entered; the chair had been moved, and a few things on her desk looked as though they'd been shoved out of the way. She called down to security, requesting the tapes from the previous night; she wanted to know who had been there.

Once she was able to view the footage, Walsh wasn't terribly surprised to see the Slayer and Riley. Walsh had meant to have him confined to the brig, and had toyed with the idea of having him meet with an accident. That was one of the nice things about working with soldiers; they often met with accidents, even while on routine training missions.

Of course, it was always easier when there was no family that wanted the body returned.

She would have liked to know how the Slayer and those with her had remained invisible to the cameras, and obviously to Agent Miller, as he'd come and looked into the room but had walked by. Since Walsh couldn't see anyone in there, it was impossible to know whether or not Riley and the others were still present when the other soldier poked his head inside the door.

The mystical side of the demon world wasn't something Walsh had ever paid much attention to, if only because it wasn't something that she could quantify and control. It was obvious that quite a bit could be done, however, if you had someone who knew what they were doing. Walsh thought that it might be time to look into finding a magician—one she could control, of course.

Walsh somehow suspected that she wouldn't have much luck with that.

Unless one showed up unexpectedly, she would just have to content herself with getting Adam back.

"Hello, Mother." Walsh's head shot up so quickly that she almost gave herself whiplash. "I heard that you wanted to see me."