Subject: [SpikesSalvation] Phoenix Tears (7/?)
Date: Tue, 20 Jan 2004 13:06:27 -0800 (PST)
From: Jerusha Hancock <enigmaticblue@yahoo.com>
Reply-To: SpikesSalvation@yahoogroups.com
To: SpikesSalvation@yahoogroups.com


Chapter 7: Sons


Ty sat cross-legged with the sheets tented over him, a flashlight in hand.
He was peering intently at the thick tome in front of him, one he'd made
certain to grab while everyone was eating and listening to Wesley talk about
the prophecy.

He wasn't stupid. Ty knew very well what his father's decision would be. The
adults had talked long and hard before he went to bed about the merits of
fighting vs. running. If Ty knew his dad, they would run. Not that William
was a coward, far from it. But when it came to his son, the ex-vampire was
unwilling to allow any harm to come to him, and in this case it would
involve a retreat.

Hence, the book.

One person had already been badly hurt, possibly even killed to protect him,
and Ty didn't want to see that happen again. When Dawn had asked if there
was any way to get in touch with the Powers, and Angel had mentioned the
Conduit, Ty thought he had the answer. All he had to do was to find the
Conduit himself. After all, he was the one the prophecy talked about, he was
the Chosen, so he should be the one to talk to Them. If he could talk to
Them, maybe he could prevent anyone else from getting hurt.

Angel had talked about needing to wait for Lorne, and reading the text, Ty
could see why. He didn't have the skills to locate the Conduit, which meant
he'd have to convince his dad to let him go in and talk to the Powers on his
own, which wasn't going to happen any time this century. His dad was such an
utter worrywart.

He had to try though, Ty decided, flipping off the flashlight and putting
the book down beside the bed. His worst fear was that everyone would be so
busy protecting him, they'd all get killed themselves. They'd leave, just
like his mom had. And he wasn't going to let that happen.

~~~~~

Angel stepped hesitantly into the dimly lit kitchen. It was about the only
room in the house that didn't have a body draped over it. Dawn had taken the
couch, and Emmie was lying next to her. Angel himself wasn't tired. It was
night, after all, and he was a vampire. And Connor was awake. He couldn't
possibly sleep.

"Hey."

Connor looked over his shoulder at him from where he stood at the sink,
obviously getting a glass of water for himself. "Hi."

The two men stood in silence, and Angel thought that this "first" meeting,
while less violent than their last, was hardly less awkward. "Look, Connor—"

"It's true? All of it?" Connor asked, cutting him off.

Angel wasn't sure how to reply. He'd had a hard enough time accepting it
when Darla had first showed up pregnant. "Yeah, it's true. Do you—do you
have any questions? I'd like to tell you whatever you want to know."

The younger man shook his head. "No. I mean, I guess just one." Connor
turned and faced his father fully for the first time since William had told
him the truth. "Why? Why did you give me up? Why did you take my memories
and give me all these fake ones?"

If Angel were to be completely honest with himself, and everybody else, he
would have to admit that he never expected to have to answer those
questions. He had believed that he would never see Connor again, that he
would keep his secret until he was dust. Angel had never prepared himself to
answer for the choices he'd made. "You were broken," he finally said, and
then motioned out to the back patio, not wanting to wake Emmie and Dawn.

Once they were outside, he began again. "A man named Holtz raised you.
William told you about that?" At Connor's nod, he continued. "Holtz wanted
revenge for what I'd done to him, and to be fair, he had good reason. But he
raised you to hate me, to believe that I was nothing but evil, even after he
knew differently. And then he arranged for his own death, knowing you'd
believe that I'd killed him. After that, people lied to you and tricked you,
one after another, people you'd trusted."

Angel paused. Telling this tale was harder than he thought it would be. "In
the end, you didn't know what or who to believe. You couldn't trust me, not
after what you'd been told by the man you called your father. Everything
else you'd believed in turned out to be an illusion, and it was gone. You
were broken, and I couldn't fix you."

"So you erased me." Angel could hear the bitterness in his son's voice.

"No!" Angel stared at him. "When Wolfram & Hart offered me the L.A. branch,
I wasn't going to take it, but then you—you needed help. I wanted to give
you what I hadn't been able to before. I couldn't turn back time and prevent
the whole thing from happening, but I could give you a fresh start. But to
do that, I had to give you up. I didn't have a choice."

"You had a choice," Connor said quietly. "But this is the one you made."

Angel looked away, but he knew Connor was right. "Yeah. This is the one I
made."

"So now I find out my entire life was a lie. You know, it was funny, but
right after I graduated from high school, I started having these abilities.
I could hear things, do things, no one else could. I didn't understand it. I
thought I was some kind of freak. Turns out that I was."

"You're not a freak, Connor," Angel said fiercely, grabbing the smaller man
by the shoulders and staring him in the eyes. "You're my son."

Connor looked at him. "I don't know you."

"I know." Angel was desperate for anything, any hope he might grasp that
someday he and Connor could be friends, if not actually father and son. "But
you could, if you wanted to. I made my choice, but I made it because I loved
you and I didn't see any other options."

Connor looked away. "Dawn told me today about finding out she wasn't really
who she thought she was. She said it made her feel like she wasn't real, but
there were people around her that made her memories solid." He sighed. "I
had two real years with my parents before they died, and the people I
remember from those two years are the same people I remember growing up. And
now I have a chance to find out who I really am. I had questions, and you
have answers. I'm in this now, by my choice."

Angel nodded slowly, and then held out a hand. "I know you might never feel
like I'm your father," he acknowledged. "But I'd like to try to be your
friend, if I can."

Connor stared at the offered hand, and then took it. "I think I'd like that
too."

~~~~~

Lorne shifted his bags from one hand to the other to knock on the door.
Spike answered it dressed in a pair of jeans and nothing else, his platinum
hair still wet from the shower. He gave Lorne a relieved smile. "Lorne. Good
to see you, mate."

"You're telling me, Sweetcheeks," Lorne replied, following Spike inside. "I
can't tell you how relieved I was to get Wesley's call yesterday. The thing
about the office was all over the media." The green demon lowered his voice
to a whisper. "Any word on Gunn?"

Spike nodded grimly. "I just got off the phone with the hospital. He's still
unconscious, and it isn't lookin' good. Somethin' about more internal
bleeding they're havin' trouble stopping."

"And how's the little nipper?" Lorne asked, referring to Ty. He really did
like the kid.

"Holdin' up," Spike replied. "He's been through so much, 's not right."

Lorne put a comforting hand on Spike's shoulder. "Ty's strong, William. He's
got your strength."

Spike shook his head. "He's got his mum's strength. Come on. Everybody's in
the kitchen. We've been waitin' for you to make the final plans."

"Why do I not like the sound of that?" Lorne asked rhetorically.

Everyone was up and moving around, an early start to the day being mandatory
when facing an apocalypse. "Lorne," Angel said, greeting the demon with a
smile. "Good to see you."

"You know, when everyone starts to say that, I start believing you want
something from me." Lorne eyed the people scattered around the kitchen. "I'm
not sure I like this, people."

"Relax, Lorne," Dawn said, giving him a sweet little smile. "We were just
waiting for the whole team."

"Well, my sweet little Key, pardon me if I get a little suspicious,
especially on the eve of catastrophe." He took the cup of coffee Buffy held
out to him. "All right, let's hear it."

"We need to find the Conduit," Angel stated. "The Powers should have
something to say about what's going on. If we're supposed to fulfill this
prophecy, we can't let Ty or Connor get killed."

Lorne raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You do remember the last time I went to
the Conduit, don't you? It took weeks for my horn to regrow."

"There isn't anyone else that can find the location, Lorne," Emmie said. "We
need you."

He sighed. "Okay, you need me. I'm all warm and tingly. Let's hear the rest
of it."

Between Dawn and Wesley, the entire prophecy was easily explained, at least
what they knew of it. Wesley had brought his second up to speed earlier that
morning, finding Dawn, as always, a quick study. She might have made a
brilliant Watcher, if they hadn't managed to convince her to stay at Wolfram
& Hart.

"In any case," Dawn finished up, "we need to contact the Powers somehow.
They may decide to protect Connor and Ty." Connor cleared his throat and
gave her a pointed look, which made the young woman roll her eyes. "Fine.
Connor doesn't need any protection. We might convince them to protect Ty."

Lorne thought about it for a few minutes, not at all convinced about the
brilliance of this particular plan. Sure, it sounded good, but—"You're all
forgetting one important little detail," the green-skinned demon pointed
out. He wished it was late enough in the day for a Seabreeze. Well, he
wished that William kept the makings for a Seabreeze around. "Someone has to
talk to the Conduit, and that someone could get some serious bodily harm.
The Powers don't talk to just anyone, kiddos."

They all looked at one another. "I've done it," Angel said. "They weren't
happy to see me, but I didn't take a lot of damage."

"We can't have anyone taking damage," Buffy pointed out pragmatically. "At
this point, we need everybody in one piece." She was wearing the ring, but
no one had really noticed it yet. They had too many other things on their
minds.

"I can go." All heads turned to look at Ty, who was standing in the doorway
of the kitchen. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and looked
like any other ten-year-old boy, except for his eyes. His eyes looked
ancient.

Spike looked at him and said gently, "Ty, this isn't a job for you. 's too
dangerous."

"No, it's not," his son insisted stubbornly. "I'm the one the prophecy talks
about. I'm the one that gets the visions. The Conduit will talk to me."

Spike looked over at Lorne, his eyes pleading. "Tell him, Lorne."

The demon hesitated, not wanting to have to say it, but needing to anyway.
"Actually, he's right, William. The last time we contacted the Conduit,
Cordy was in a coma, and that's the only reason why we couldn't send her."

Spike looked over at Wesley, who was looking similarly apologetic, as was
Dawn. He really didn't like the looks of this. "Niblet?"

Dawn winced, not liking the look Spike was giving her. "Sorry, Spike, but
Lorne's right. From all the research we've done on this thing, it's the
Powers' chosen ones who have the most success at contacting them. It's not a
job for mere mortals. Plus, since he's a kid, technically he's more pure.
Even if They aren't happy about him being there, They wouldn't hurt him."

Wesley nodded a reluctant agreement, and Spike tried desperately to find
some other way. "What if Angel and I do it?" he demanded. "We're mentioned
in there."

"If you and Angel go in, and either or both of you are harmed, who will
protect Ty then?" Wesley asked gently. "Forgive me, but you two, along with
Buffy and Emmie are the ones who have the most chance at ensuring Connor and
Titus stay alive. We can't afford to lose you."

Spike shook his head. "If it's so dangerous, there's no way I'm lettin' Ty
do this."

"It won't be that dangerous," Lorne pointed out. "As Their chosen
instrument, They'll probably just nudge him out the door if They decide They
don't want him there."

"He won't be alone," Connor said suddenly. "I can go in with him."

"Of course," Wesley said, smiling a little. "As Ty's Champion, Connor can go
anywhere he goes. Ty won't be unprotected."

Ty came up to stand in front of his father. "I have to do this, Dad. Uncle
Gunn got hurt protecting me. This is the best way."

"That wasn't your fault, luv," Spike said gently, squatting down so that he
was eye-level with Ty. "It's too dangerous."

"Not for me," Ty replied. "For everybody else it might be, but not me.
Please, Dad."

Spike suddenly had a flashback to the day his son was born, holding him in
the hospital, looking into blue eyes for the first time. He loved Buffy, but
Ty was his life. And he was growing up too fast. Suddenly he wanted to go
back, wanted to take back coming to L.A. and finding Angel again. He wished
that he'd stayed in his sleepy little sea-side town. And yet—

He looked over at Buffy, wordlessly asking what she thought, knowing that he
couldn't regret coming to Los Angeles. Because if he hadn't come, he might
never have seen his Slayer again. Her lips tightened, and he knew she loved
Ty as much as he did. "I don't think we have a choice, William," she said
softly.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, feeling the pang of letting go just a
little more, and then nodded. "All right. You and Connor can go in." And
then he wrapped his son up in a rough hug and left the room abruptly.

Ty stood and watched his father go, and then looked over at Buffy, who
smiled at him. "Why don't we get you some breakfast?" she suggested. The boy
watched as she shared a look with Angel, who went to follow Spike. Buffy put
a hand on Ty's shoulder and gave him a little hug. "It's going to be fine,
sweetie," she whispered. But Ty wasn't sure if she was trying to convince
him, or herself.

~~~~~

"William." Angel stood in the doorway of the master bedroom and watched as
Spike pulled a long sleeved black t-shirt over his head.

"Save it, Peaches," Spike growled in reply. He grabbed his scuffed black
Docs from under the bed and started to shove them on his feet, every
movement speaking volumes of frustration and fear.

Angel stepped inside and shut the door behind him, waiting. His patience was
rewarded minutes later when Spike finally stopped moving. "I can't lose him
again."

The vampire sighed, knowing the other man was referring to the scene in the
warehouse two years ago when they had come so close to losing the boy. "You
won't."

"You don't know that," Spike replied, sounding infinitely tired. "When this
is done, when we find out what the bloody hell the Powers were doin', I'm
takin' him out of here. I'm not gonna stick around to be a sitting duck."

Angel blinked. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Yeah, and why not?" Spike put his head in his hands. "Better than stayin'
here and waitin' for them, whoever they are, to kill us. We don't know what
we're up against, Angel."

Angel gingerly sat down next to his once-Childe. "So you go off, take Buffy
and Ty with you, if Buffy will even go."

"She'll go," Spike said evenly.

Angel continued. "And do what?"

"Run, hide, make sure no one can find us, the usual."

"I've never known you to run before, Spike." Angel looked over at him, and
saw raw fear.

"That's because I've never run from you, you great pillock," Spike muttered.

Angel bit back a sigh. "And what happens when they catch up with you?" he
asked reasonably. "Because they will, you know. So they find you, and
overwhelm you with superior numbers, and suddenly Ty, or Buffy and Ty are
alone. What then?"

Spike suggested something that wasn't anatomically possible. Angel said
nothing, and waited for his anger to cool. "So what's your big plan, then?"
he finally asked with more than a hint of nastiness.

"My plan is that we find the Conduit, ask our questions, and make a plan
after that," Angel said steadily. "You're Ty's father, but I'm the boss. Not
to mention his uncle. Do you really think I want something to happen to him?
Do you really think I want to fail again?"

Their eyes met then, and for the first time in well over a hundred years, a
curious thing happened. For a brief, beautiful fleeting moment, when William
had first risen, he and Angelus had been brothers. They had been comrades,
until Angelus had shown him that to be a vampire was to take what you
wanted, and he had taken Drusilla from him because William had wanted her.
But now, they loved the same things. They loved their girlfriends, and a
good fight, and a nice stiff drink. And they loved a small boy. One might
even say, without going too far, they had grown to love one another. In
something over a century, they had come full circle, and now they found
themselves brothers again.

"No," Spike said quietly, in response to Angel's question. "I would trust
you with his life."

Angel's face softened. "You know, William—"

"Don't be goin' soft on me now, Angelus," Spike warned. But his eyes told a
different story, and Angel nodded in response.

"I'll get him out of this," Angel promised.

"I know."

~~~~~

Finding the Conduit wasn't nearly as hard as it should have been, Spike
thought grimly, holding Buffy's hand absently, his thumb fiddling with her
new ring. It had been the other women who noticed it first, of course. When
Fred had seen it, she'd squealed a little, and then Buffy had been
surrounded by the three other women, all of them wanting details as to his
proposal. There hadn't been time for a real celebration, and there wouldn't
be until this mess had been cleared up, but it had lightened everyone's
spirits considerably.

But now, as he looked over at his son who was staring absently out the
window, he couldn't help but feel a shiver of forboding. The way his life
usually went, something really bad was about to happen, and he feared to
lose it all.

Buffy gave his hand a squeeze and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's going
to be fine, hon," she whispered. "Remember how many times we've done this?"

"Too many," he replied. "You sure you don't want to find an island
somewhere?"

Her smile broadened. "Ask me again when all this is over. But if you're
talking vacation, I think it's time we both had one. Maybe a long
honeymoon," she suggested. "We can leave Ty with Angel and Emmie. Just
think, the two of us, no kids, no work."

Spike smiled in response, feeling better. He couldn't remember making plans
for after an apocalypse before. There had always just been the fight and the
unspoken acknowledgement that they might not all make it. Of course, this
was the first apocalypse that he and Buffy were facing "together," with his
ring on her finger. They had to make it out of this mess. He raised her hand
to his mouth and pressed his lips to her knuckles, his eyes never leaving
hers. To his surprise, she blushed, pleased, and he gave her a
self-satisfied smirk in return.

And then the car stopped, and Wesley and Dawn got out of the front seats,
and Spike knew that their time was up. "Love you," Buffy whispered to him
before he could follow Ty out of the car.

"Doesn't look like much," Spike said reflectively, looking at the open
doorway. But the building definitely had a slightly different feel from all
the others around it, and he thought he could feel the energy of the area.

"Oh, this is it," Lorne said unhappily, not having pleasant memories of this
place. "I don't think I could forget it if I wanted to." He looked down at
Ty. "You all set, kiddo?"

Ty nodded, his face pale under his dark hair. "Yeah."

Lorne gave his hair a ruffle. "Well, don't you worry. The Powers aren't
going to touch a hair on that head of yours."

Wesley looked down at the boy kindly. "Do you know what questions to ask?"

"Uh, huh," Ty said with a touch of resentment. "I remember."

"Of course you do," Wesley said with considerable patience.

Spike knelt down in front of his son. "Okay. You be careful in there, you
hear me? If something comes up, I want you to listen to Connor, alright?
He's in charge, whether you like it or not. Okay?"

Ty nodded. "Okay, Dad."

"And when you're done, you come straight back out here." Spike stared into
his son's eyes. "I mean it, Ty. You let us handle anything big." He waited
until the boy nodded, and then he took his son's face in both hands and
pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Love you."

Ty gave him a tremulous smile. "Love you. I'll be fine. Promise."

"Good." Spike stood, and Buffy came over and gave Ty and hug and a kiss,
pausing to whisper something into his ear that made him smile. He looked
over and saw Angel giving Connor a restrained handshake.

Connor came over to stand next to Ty, his blue-green eyes steady. "I'll take
care of him, William. We'll be back in no time." He looked down at the boy.
"You ready?"

And then, without another word, the Chosen and his Champion stepped through
the portal to the Conduit. Spike couldn't help but fear he'd seen both of
them for the last time.

---------------------------------