Cruel Concealment
By Josephine Martin

Summary: It's been seven years since Sunnydale was destroyed. Buffy thought she'd eventually finished baking, but how could she be, when she didn't know the final ingredient was missing?
 

Chapter 40 – Cheating Again

I hit the floor hard. I've no idea how I managed to fall, so it comes as a surprise, and then I understand. I'm on a stone floor in the cavern where Willow opened the portal. I feel a sharp pain from my wrist, and I glance toward it. It doesn't seem to be bleeding noticeably, but I do spot that I'm no longer glowing.

The floor starts to shudder, and I try to prop myself up so I can see if everyone else is ok. I have to fight against the blackness that attempt causes, and I hear panicked voices all around me. Spike's, then Angel's voice, and I see the two of them hovering over me. And then, the effort to keep the blackness at bay is just too much.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, wishing I could say it more clearly, hoping Spike understands the multitude of things I'm sorry for, and then the darkness is complete.

Funny. I didn't expect to feel like this. I hurt. Not agonising pain, just a general dull ache, but it's all over, in every muscle, every bone. I suppose it's too much to expect to go to heaven again, I just sort of assumed it.

There're voices again, but they're different from the ones I heard last. Then, the voices were strident, loud, worried. Now, they're hushed, as if trying not to waken someone. Probably me. Well, I'm awake, so I try to pry my eyes open.

Rationally, I know the light is dim, but it still hurts my eyes, so I peer from between almost closed lids, looking for the source of the voices. And, of course, Spike's there. He's watching me, his face a study in concentration.

"Buffy? Love?"

I decide that talking would be too difficult, but I try to bend my mouth into a smile. I think it must have succeeded, because Spike's expression changes, becoming a grin, and I'm enfolded in a hug that makes breathing difficult. He seems to realise, because it's short, and he moves away again, still smiling, talking to someone else. I try to look in that direction, and I spot who else is there. Of course, she's hanging over me too now. Dawn. She leans down and kisses my brow the way Mom used to do when we were ill.

"You ok to stay a minute, Bit?" I hear Spike's voice. "It's just a certain witch'll have me turned into something to be trodden underfoot if I don't call her. And I'd better let a doctor know too."

"Sure, Spike," she answers.

I decide to make an effort to speak.

"Don't be long."

He leans back over me, and plants a kiss softly on my lips.

"Never going to be away from you for long."

Then he turns and walks out of the room.

"Where?" I ask Dawn.

"Hospital. Hospital full of very good looking, tall, dark and demony types."

 "Carnolan?"

"Yeah. Turns out Willow had an agreement with Clinton. If anyone needed it, she just had to think 'Ambulance' and there'd be one on its way. I think they actually had it waiting just outside. Angel knew you were short of blood, you know, vampire senses. Willow passed on that information, and they were ready to transfuse you as soon as you were out of the building. And even that probably wouldn't have been enough, but they managed to use Willow as a conduit of some kind, putting you in a sort of stasis field. All sounds a bit Star-Trek-y to me, but that's what they said. Without it you wouldn't have made it long enough for a transfusion."

There're tears forming in her eyes as she says that last bit.

"How long?"

"Since the building collapsed? Ten days or so."

"Building collapsed?"

"Yeah, the Wolfram and Hart building. They managed to clear it, though. Sounds like the whole building started to shake while you were still off fighting, so there was time. You and the others in the basement were the last ones out, and you wouldn't have made it without Willow."

"Everyone else ok?"

"Yeah. You came off worst."

"Gina?" I'm almost afraid to ask, but I've got to know.

Spike comes back in time to hear my question. There's a doctor with him. I recognise him as the one who treated Spike, and I try to smile my thanks at him. "She's fine too. Called Wes not long after we got to the hospital. Seems she was freed as soon as they knew the Senior Partners were gone."

"If you can give me a few minutes?" the doctor says as he looks expectantly at the others.

With another kiss to my brow, Spike leaves with Dawn in tow, and the doctor does what doctors do. He checks me over, and asks me the inane questions that're supposed to show my brain is functioning normally.

"You seem remarkably recovered," he concludes. "To be honest, I thought this was one battle the Slayer was going to lose."

"Thanks," I tell him. "From what I heard, I would've lost if it hadn't been for everyone else."

"Well, I did say we'd help if we could, I just didn't think it'd be this soon. Not that we did very much this time. You were transfused, of course, and you needed CPR a time or two. Once you were breathing on your own, the only treatment was time and whatever your friend Miss Rosenberg's been doing. I still prescribe rest, though, young lady. Make sure you take this opportunity to rest."

"When can I go home?"

"Home? If I had my way, not for another week at least, but I don't expect you to follow my recommendation. Stay tonight, and we'll see how things look in the morning, how's that?"

"Ok," I agree, because right now, the prospect of getting out of bed is one I don't even want to think about.

He nods at me, then goes towards the door. No sooner has he opened it than Spike's in again, followed by Dawn. Spike sits down beside my bed and takes my hand in his.

"Expect they'll all be here soon," he comments.

"I'm going to get something to eat. Want anything?"

The question's directed at Spike, but I don't think he even hears Dawn. She just smiles at me and leaves us alone.

"Thought I'd lost you," he murmurs, kissing me again.

"Not going to happen," I reassure him even though I thought it had. Talking's getting easier, almost as if I'm getting back into practice. "Hear we brought another building down."

He laughs out loud at that. "Enjoyed it more the first time."

"Is everyone ok? Really ok?"

"Want a run down, do you? Well, Willow did some amazing mojo that kept the Wolfram and Hart building from falling on our heads. That was after she gave the Carnolans Angel's news that you'd been bled dry, and after she channelled some spell to stop you dying in the meantime. She was pretty exhausted when we got out, even spent a couple of days in here with Clinton hovering at her bedside. Fred just had some scratches, Wes much the same, and once Gina was safe, I don't think he even knew that much. I was a bit sore, but I heal pretty fast. Angel ... He's physically fine, all healed. Not sure about him otherwise. If he was broody before, he's gone into overdrive now – can't get a bloody word out of him."

"Where is he?"

"Holed up in some basement apartment. Right dive it is too. Part of his atonement, I think. Fred's been phoning him about your condition, but he's kept away."

"Any repercussions?"

"You mean minions wanting to take over? Not so's you'd notice. Haven't been paying too much attention, though, what with being scared to death you wouldn't wake up."

"Kind of surprising, that."

"What? Waking up?"

"Yeah. Tara sort of implied the spell would only work to save the rest of you."

"Tara? Buffy, you feeling ok?"

"Apart from the all over ache, I'm fine. I was dying, Spike. I've done it twice, I know what it feels like. But the First Slayer came, took me to talk to Tara. She told me what to do to get the benefit of my blood. Said she would say what needed to be said, I just had to inscribe the circle."

He seems to have to think about that, but he doesn't say anything.

"You and Dawn ok?" I ask.

"Yeah. Was a bit difficult at first, but our differences didn't seem too important compared with wanting you to wake up. And we've had plenty of time to chat. I think we're getting more comfortable with each other again."

"I'm glad."

I feel my eyes closing. I'm so tired, and sleep seems like the only option, but I want to know Spike's there with me.

"If I shuffle over a bit, can you lie down beside me?"

"Don't want to hurt you, Pet."

"You won't. I'm sleepy, and I want you to hold me while I sleep."

"Ok," he agrees. "But you're not shuffling anywhere."

He moves the sheet that's covering me, and gently lifts me over a few inches before kicking off his boots and balancing himself on his side at the edge of the bed. He strokes my hair gently, and the feel of his fingers is all I need to fall asleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but Spike's moved. He's sitting next to me, his head on the bed, and it looks like he's asleep.

"He couldn't sleep perched up there with you, kept almost falling off," Wes explains from his position near the door. "It took Gina a while to persuade him to move. Don't think he's slept more than a few minutes at a time since it happened."

"Gina? She's here?"

"Yeah. She needed to visit the ladies room. I think junior's sitting on her bladder again. Willow went with her. Don't know what it is about women, but they never want to go alone."

He's been approaching as he spoke, and he reaches the bed and leans over to hug me from the side opposite the one Spike's occupying.

"You had us all worried."

"So I hear. Of course, I didn't know anything about it, so you can't blame me."

"Well, actually, I blame myself. I know you said you'd used that ritual, but I didn't know how far gone you were. If I had ..."

"You wouldn't have done anything differently, because there wasn't anything different you could have done. In fact, if you hadn't finished off the Ram, we might not have made it out of there at all. If he'd finished Angel and gone for me, I don't know I would've had the physical strength to take him."

Gina and Willow arrive then, chatting as they enter, only to have Wes remind them sternly about the sleeping Spike. They both look suitably contrite and move to beside Wes where they supplant him so they can both hug me. Gina's bump seems a lot bigger than it was, and I comment on it.

"I blame days of inactivity and too much to eat," she says, shrugging. "But the doctor says it's normal, so I'm not going to worry any more."

"Was it awful?" I ask, guilt welling up.

"I never felt threatened, if that's what you mean. I was comfortable, and there was a doctor with me the whole time so I was looked after. I was scared for the rest of you, though. And angry that I couldn't help."

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "It's my fault you were involved."

"No, actually, it's not. I knew what Wes did when I married him. I'm not happy about the fact that he's in a risky occupation, and if I could I'd persuade him to take up teaching or being a librarian or something, but if he did, he wouldn't be the man I love. He knows someone's got to do what he does, and he's got the skills that make him an ideal candidate."

"Given the experiences of teachers and librarians where we went to school, I'd say they're over-rated as safe professions anyway," Willow interposes.

"True," Gina admits.

I feel Spike stirring on my other side, so I turn my attention to him.

"Sorry," he mumbles, rubbing his eyes. "Almost fell asleep there."

I smile at him. "From what I heard you need some sleep. Why don't you go home? I'll be fine here tonight, and the doctor said I can go home in the morning."

He shakes his head. "Not going to happen, Pet. I'll just stay here until I can take you home. You sure about tomorrow, though?"

"The doctor says I just need rest. I can get that at home, can't I?"

"I suppose," he admits.

"Well, if you're getting home tomorrow, then I'm off to get everything ready," Willow announces. "Lucy went home, but given the Carnolan grapevine, she's bound to know you're awake. Dawn went back to the apartment while you were asleep – she was exhausted. I'll go to the market, make sure you've got enough of everything and get the place tidied up. Neither of us has been spending much time there. Clinton's been around a lot too."

"But that's so he can see you," Gina adds, a grin on her face.

"Maybe," Willow agrees, smiling shyly.

"You're interested?"

"I really like him, but I'm going to have to talk to Kennedy. I owe her that much at least. I'll be going back to Cleveland for a bit, see how things seem. Clinton's sort of needed around here, but apart from Kennedy, there's not much that's holding me in Cleveland."

"It'll be good to have you around," I tell her. "But you've got to move because it's the right thing for you."

"I know," she says. "I'm not going to jump into anything, you know. "

"Tara wouldn't mind, you know that?"

"Tara? I never felt she'd mind about Kennedy somehow. A man, though? That just seems more betray-ey, you know?"

"She told me what to do. When I was there, in the other dimension. That ritual I did? She told me what to do. She said the Powers gave her the chance because of her part in bringing me back last time. She knows you miss her, but she told me to tell you to live while you've got the chance. She's in a good place, and she's waiting for you there, but I don't think she'll mind what else you do as long as she knows you're happy."

Willow's eyes fill as I speak, but she's happy-teary I think. She sniffs, nods and runs.

"Tara said that?" Spike asks. "Sounds like her."

I yawn then, and Wes looks at Gina who nods back.

"Look, we're going to go and let you sleep," Gina announces.

"I'll be back in the morning to take you home," Wes offers. "Just call when you're ready."

"Thanks, Wes," I say, as he leans down to kiss my cheek. "You look after Gina now. I think she deserves some spoiling."

"He's already doing that," Gina comments, hugging me. "You get the rest you need, and I'll see you soon."

Once they've gone, I take another look at Spike. He certainly looks as though he needs to sleep, and I wipe a stray strand of hair off his face.

"I think I'm going to sleep again. You stay there if you're more comfortable."

"Ok, Pet. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Always, I hope," I tell him.

"Always, Pet."