Chapter 1 - Prologue


I remember it like it happened minutes ago. Don't know how long it was, not in her time. Time works differently here. From here, it's just about forever ago.

She walked down those stairs, and for a second, I thought it was the 'bot, but then I knew. It was her. She was back, and I stood there and watched her walk down the stairs, and I swear my heart was beating for the first time in over a century.

I noticed her hands, knew what'd happened. Knew she'd dug herself out of her coffin. Took her into the lounge, asked Dawn to get some things to clean them, bandage them. Sat there, looking at her, holding her hands in mine, and .. those few seconds were the happiest I'd ever known. Enough to make up for what happened after. Except, I'm not the only one who's suffering now.

They came in, then. The so-called friends who'd pulled her out of heaven. 'Course, they didn't know that, not then. They thought she'd come from a place of torment, but they surrounded her with their noise and their questions, and I knew I wasn't welcome any more. I got up and went outside, desperate to get away from the fog of self-congratulation that filled the air.

I stood by my tree. My tree, where I used to stand, before .. before she died. Cigarette butts'd all but gone, but I started a new collection that night. I cried. Not something I do often, I mean, Big Bad and all that. But I cried that night.

Too soon, he came out. The whelp with his demon bird. 
"What are you doing out here? I hope you're not going to start up your whole obsession thing now that she's around .."
So, I grabbed him, pushed him up against the tree. Of course, got zapped for my trouble.

"You didn't tell me. You brought her back and you didn't tell me," I accused. 
"Well, now you know."
"I worked beside you. All summer. Hundred and forty-seven bleedin, days. I saved your sorry lives, all of you."
"Um.. thank you and please stop pressing against my boyfriend?" Anya put in her inane comment.
"We didn't tell you. It was .. we just didn't, okay? Maybe you should stop being a problem for a second and just be glad that she's back.."

"Listen. I've figured it out. Maybe you haven't, but I have. Willow knew there was a chance she'd come back wrong. So wrong that you'd have to .. that she'd have to get rid of what came back. And she knew I wouldn't let her. If any part of it was Buffy, I wouldn't let her. That's why she shut me out."
"What are you talking about? Willow wouldn't do that!"
"That right?"
"Look, you're just covering. You can't tell me you're not happy. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that seeing Buffy alive wasn't the happiest damn second of your whole existence."

Of course, I couldn't do that, so I walked away. I did get in one more thing though.
"The thing about magic? There's always consequences. Always."

Got on my motorbike and rode off into the sunset. Well, no sunset, but that was the idea. Rode around for a bit, till I found a liquor store the demons hadn't trashed completely. Helped myself from the debris to as many unbroken bottles as I could stash on the bike, and headed back to my crypt.

Much later, I'd eventually fallen into a drunken stupor. That's why I didn't hear him until he shook me awake.

"Come back to tell me the witch didn't take a chance?" I ask, surprising myself at my coherency.
"No, Spike. Just decided to make sure things go smoothly for Buffy now. She's going to be vulnerable for a bit, and I'm not going to let you take advantage."

I swear I didn't see it coming. I was expecting another lecture on how I was an evil soulless thing and I had to stay away from Buffy. 

Instead I got a stake in my heart.