Subject: [OTL]: [Excalibur]: Football Backchat: The Excalibur Round (PG - Language) Date: Thu, 01 Apr 1999 19:05:38 +0100 From: Jupiter 2 Reply-To: outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net To: outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net This is a short, funny piece which is supposed to capture the mood of the world cup from the couch potato's POV. Disclaimer: Excalibur is Marvel's, McEwan's Export belongs to which ever company brews it. Des belongs to the BBC (Des Lynam). == "What're ye talkin' about? England were never a great football team." Moira MacTaggart sreamed as she put the bowl of nuts down on the living room table. She grabbed herself a can of McEwan's Export and sat down on the sofa. The pre-match commentry had started. "They are so." Pete Wisdom began as he pulled out one of his cigarettes. "Explain '66 then." "Bloody fluke." Rahne muttered under her breath as she turned the TV onto the BBC. It was the start of the 1998 World Cup, Scotland against Brazil. "That's enough lip from you young lady." "Sorry mum." "You're going to lose." "Ah'd like tae see you play the world champions, Wisdom." MacTaggart took another gulp from her can and placed it down beside the nuts. "Your team will nae last 6 seconds without Gascoine." "They will last." Pete actually didn't believe that but he was not going to give the Scot the satisfaction of agreeing with her. "An' I suppose ye'll be doing it with that bloody faith healer." "Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" Kurt Wagner had just been passing when he heard the raised voices coming from the living room. "It's the world cup." "Ah, my countrymen will not let me down." "They let you down in '66 mate." "We don't talk about that, Herr Wisdom." Kurt took one of the cans of lager from Moira's six pack and sat next to the doctor. "I bet ye don't talk about it 'cause we beat you!" "Nein, we are all just sick of the English talking about it." "Here, here." Rahne said as she stuck her hand in the air as a gesture of support for Kurt's statement. "Pete, I've been looking all over for you." Kitty walked in and sat down beside her boyfriend. She looked at the others who sat, watching the TV. "Is there a movie on or something?" "Shhh, football." Rahne pointed to the TV screen. "Oh, who's playing?" "Scotland and Brazil." "Oh, you mean it's soccer." The two ladies and two gentlemen grunted in unison. "It's nae soccer, it's football." Rahne informed the American girl. "An' the next person to interupt Des' commentry is gonna get me size 4s up their rear end." "Rahne, I warned ye once about language." "Sorry mum." The scene was set. Both teams came out and played. Scotland scored twice, Brazil once. The only problem was, Scotland scored once in their own goal. As the the game ended, Pete turned to Moira. "Told you so." he said with the biggest grin imaginable on his face. == A few notes for those who don't get it. Well, for one thing, 1966 was the year that England won the world cup. It's something that they all go on about. What? They do. And West Germany was the side that lost to England that year. Germany got their revenge in 1996!! Scotland scored an own goal at the world cup. Not one of our best moments but then, we are Scotland. Oh, and Gascoine is/was one of England's best players (no, I'm not bias because he played for Rangers) and he was dropped by Glenn Hoddle. For more football history, please ask my brother.