Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, you guys. Here's the final chapter as promised. It's been a fun little romp to write, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did...

Spike awoke mid-afternoon with the mother of all hangovers. He groaned and threw the blanket over his head, trying desperately to block out the indirect light that brightened the room. When that didn't work, he flipped over and buried his head against the woman beside him.

Wait a minute...

What woman beside him?!

He leapt up in stark realization that there was a naked, female vampire in his bed. And he didn't even have to look to tell it wasn't Dru.

"Oh god!" he put his head in his hands when he realized what must have happened last night.

"Mmm," Harmony rolled over and looked up at him sleepily. "'Morning. How are you feeling?"

"Shit!" Spike leapt out of bed, banging his toe on the dresser as he did so.

He hopped around on one foot until the sheet he'd dragged out with him got caught around his leg, and he fell to the floor.

"Shit..." he repeated softly. He closed his eyes. Maybe it was all a bad dream.

"You OK?" a nasal, annoying noise demanded.

He opened his eyes. An equally nasal and annoying face was looking down at him from the edge of the bed. "Oh sure," he said sarcastically. "Never better. What ever gave you the idea something was wrong?"

"There's no need to get snarky," Harmony huffed. "I was just being polite is all..."

"Polite," Spike repeated her word. "Polite... Tell me, was it polite to invite yourself into my bed?!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"What?!" Harmony screamed back shrilly. "You're the one who tied me up, mister!"

"I tied you up?" Spike groaned and closed his eyes again.

"You don't remember?" Harmony said in disbelief.

"No," he confessed. If anything, the pounding in his head was getting worse.

"Well, that's just great!" She threw her hands up in the air in disgust. "The greatest night of my life, and you don't even remember it?!"

"Oh god," Spike repeated his earlier sentiment. "Look," he said, "'m sorry for whatever happened last night, but I just think you should go now."

"Oh, I get it," Harmony huffed. "Got drunk and ran around on the missus, did you?"

"That's right!" Spike exclaimed. Then he paused. "Well, no. That's wrong... Well, it's kind of right, except for the fact that there isn't a missus anymore since she left me...but still!"

"So, you're kicking me out because you cheated on someone who dumped you," Harmony rolled her eyes. "Why are the handsome ones always out of their minds?"

"No," Spike gave her a nasty glare and sat up, "I'm kicking you out 'cause you're an annoying little chit."

"I don't know what that means," Harmony gave him her best imitation of a threatening stare, "but how dare you call me that?!"

"'ll call you whatever I want!" he yelled right back at her.

"To repeat your own sentiment from earlier: it's daylight, doofus! I can't go anywhere!"

"Well, you can't stay here!"

"Yes, I can!"

"No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"No!" Harmony switched her tactics.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes! And that's final!" Spike insisted. "You're staying whether you like it or not and...oh bugger!" he moaned when he realized he'd been tricked. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his face in his hands.

Harmony cautiously inched over to him. When he didn't bite, she tentatively reached out to put her hands on his shoulders. He still didn't put away, and she began to knead the knots out of his back.

"See?" she said softly. "I'm not so bad..."

"Mmm..." he murmured, allowing himself to relax. Miraculously, his headache seemed to be going away despite the continued presence of the irritating brat he'd picked up last night.

"I can help you out, too, if you'll let me stick around," she purred into his ear. "That vamp that's after you. I know where he lives..."

"Yeah, well, so do I," Spike sulked. "'s bleedin' impossible to get into his lair, though."

"I know the way in," Harmony persisted. "It's guarded by magic, but I know the trick."

"Do you now?" he turned to look at her, and she noticed for the first time that he had hopelessly blue eyes. They were the kind of eyes most girls dreamed about getting lost in.

"Tonight I'll show you," she smiled slightly, taking his hand.

He gave her a wry smile of his own before his face clouded over. "What do you want in return?" he demanded.

"You killed my Sire last night," she replied. "He left me with Vinny and all of his losers. I don't want to stay with them..."

"Yeah, well 'm ditching town any day now," he retorted.

"So, take me with you," she sidled up against him. "I never even wanted to come to this hellhole in the first place. And I can be a...valuable travelling companion.' As she said the word 'valuable', her hand snaked slowly around his cock, her touch causing it to spring back to life.

"If you...think...that that...will convince me...you're... Oh god!" he gasped when she dropped to her knees on the floor and took him into her mouth.

She sucked and slurped at him for all she was worth, her tongue twisting around him every time she took him in. She was a bit unpracticed with men of his length, but she bit down the gag reflex and took him in up to the hilt.

"Well?" she asked, pulling back to engulf him once more. "Is it..." slurp, "...a deal?" Her hands clenched around his balls as she said the last word and she took him back inside her wet mouth.

"Yes!" Spike cried out as his orgasm tore through him, his chilled semen erupting into her throat.

Harmony licked up every drop, tidying him a bit after she was done.

He had, meanwhile, fallen back onto the mattress. "Tonight," he said, "let's go kill them..."

"I'm hungry!" Harmony whined.

"Then you should've eaten some of the maid," Spike said, lighting up a cigarette.

"Those things'll kill you, you know," Harmony informed him.

"No, really?" Spike said in mock-surprise. "'s a good thing you told me then, since 'm extra worried about dyin', what with being already dead an' all!"

"Well," Harmony huffed, "there's no reason to yell! Are you always this cranky? Because if you are—"

"Just find this damn car of yours you keep whinin' about," Spike cut her off with an annoyed glare.

"Humph," Harmony stuck her nose up in the haughtily...so she couldn't see where she was going. "Ouch!" she exclaimed when she crashed right into a streetlight.

"Oh yeah," Spike muttered under his breath, "this is gonna work..."

"There it is!" Harmony exclaimed, hopping on her one good heel over to her pink BMW.

Spike stared at the monstrosity in abject horror. "That's your car?!" he finally sputtered.

"Brand new paint job and everything," Harmony said proudly, popping open the trunk. "Daddy got it done for me."

"You painted a BMW pink?!" Spike exclaimed in utter disbelief.

"I wanted a Ferrari, but Daddy says no convertibles until I'm twenty-one," she wrinkled her nose. "He's such a prude sometimes."

"'Cept you'll never turn twenty-one," Spike pointed out. "Thank god," he shuddered at the atrocities that she could be committing on even finer cars.

"What do you mean?" Harmony was now digging through her bags in the trunk, looking for her shoes.

"You're dead," he informed her. "No growing older, and no 'Daddy'."

Harmony rolled her eyes. "It's not like he'll notice I don't age," she commented flippantly.

"Don't tell me you still associate with him?!" Spike cried out in shock.

"Well, duh!" Harmony turned to look at him. "How else would I get my monthly allowance?"

"A-Allowance?" he stammered. "What kind of vampire are you?"

"A pretty one," she fluffed her hair slightly and batted her eyelashes at him.

"I don't believe this!" Spike's eyes flew heavenward.

"Neither do I," Harmony sighed. "Can you believe that I forgot my extra pair of red heels? All I have are navy and white! And those sooo don't go with this skirt. Can we go back to the motel so I can change?"

"No, we can't go back," his eyes widened in disbelief. "They'll 've found the body of the maid by now."

"Ugh," she groaned, "then I guess I'll have to wear...sneakers!" She bemoaned the last word like it was the end of the universe.

Spike's brow furrowed as he watched her lace up the hot pink Keds. "If you hate sneakers," he asked, fearing the answer, "then why do you own them?"

Harmony looked up at him in horror. "They're shoes!" she replied, as if this answered his question.

"Uh-huh." Spike was pretty sure that his hangover was gone, and this headache was pure irritation. "Let's just go kill something."

Harmony beamed at him. "Aw, you're so sweet!" She jumped up and wound her arm around his. "This way," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

Spike began to repeat the mantra 'why me?' over and over again in his head. Luckily, this town was tiny, and they'd arrived at the burned out gas station in less than five minutes.

"There was a guard last time I was here," Harmony began, "so you might want to... Oh." She watched in amazement as he kicked the door down and ripped the head clear off the sleazy vamp with the bad comb-over. "Or not," she hastily added.

"Where's the nest?" Spike demanded, stomping right into the building and pulling Harmony along with him.

"Over here," she smiled proudly and hit the key pattern on the ancient symbol.

Spike stared oddly at the symbol for a second before shaking his head. "That it?" he said when the door opened.

"Yup," Harmony said. "See? I told you I'd be useful."

"Yeah," Spike put out his cigarette with the toe of his boot. "You might want to stay out of the way..."

"But, there's – like – twelve!" Harmony cried out when he leapt down the stairs.

Growls and shouts immediately started sounding from the den below. Cautiously, Harmony walked down the stairs just in time to see Spike stake the last two. Dust still filled the air as the ashes of all of Vinny's gang settled around them.

"Oh my," Harmony said breathlessly when Spike turned to face her, demon face still in full force.

Yellowed eyes honed in on her for a second and then he was upon her.

"Mmf!" Harmony exclaimed as his lips crushed down upon hers. His ferocity awakened her own demon, and she met his fangs with her own. "Oh, Spike!" she whimpered when he finally pulled away.

His reason for doing this was that he had spotted the trophy case at the far end of the room. Inside were a bunch of cheap knick-knacks...and one undeniably ancient tome. Spike smashed the glass and pulled it out. 'The Gem of Amara and Other Vampiric Talismans' read the cover. Hey, who knew? Maybe it would make for some good reading. Besides, it was a waste to leave it in this hellhole...

"Let's get out of this dump," he said, tucking the book under one arm and capturing her wrist in a steely grasp and pulling her up the stairs.

"OK," Harmony sighed, still a bit breathless from the intensity of that kiss.

They made the short walk to where his DeSoto was parked in a shed, hidden out in the desert.

"Wait," Harmony said when he shoved her in the passenger's seat. "What about my car?"

"Leave it," Spike insisted, gunning the engine.

"And my things!" Harmony squealed.

Spike rolled his eyes and caved in. He came to a screeching halt next to her car, and she jumped out. He waited impatiently for a while, tapping his fingers on the dashboard.

"Well?" he finally rolled down the window when he noticed Harmony was just sitting by the open trunk.

"Well?" she demanded herself.

He stared at her dumbly for a minute before he finally realized what she meant. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" his ground his jaw in irritation.

"Well, I'm not carrying them!" Harmony pouted. "They're heavy!"

"Look," Spike said, "'m not you're bleedin' valet. Now get your bags an' get in the car before I drive off."

Harmony made a little mewling sound, and her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" he finally exclaimed in exasperation.

He slammed the car door shut behind him and lugged two of her bags out of her trunk.

"Thank you!" Harmony squealed in delight as he threw them into the trunk of the DeSoto.

"Cor, woman! How many bags do you have?" he said in disbelief when moving the next two yielded more beneath them.

"Total, or just here?" Harmony stuck a fresh stick of gum in her mouth. "'Cause I packed light for this trip..."

"Seven bags is light?" Spike exclaimed incredulously. He slammed the trunk shut behind him and climbed back into the DeSoto. "You coming?" he demanded when she just stood outside his window.

"You're sweet," she laughed suddenly, ruffling his hair and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

A low growl rumbled from his chest.

"You sound just like a bear," she informed him, getting into the car beside him and cuddling up to his side. "A cute little teddy bear...my Blondie Bear."

Spike's jaw clenched to the point where he was sure he'd snap his fangs. His foot slammed down on the accelerator, and the car screeched out of the desert town.

"This will be just tons of fun!" Harmony said enthusiastically. "Oh! Do you like Britney?" she asked, fiddling with the radio.

"Turn that down, er..." Spike turned to look at her. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Harmony," she gave him another peck on the cheek.

"Harmony?!" he blurted out. "What kind of a name for a vampire is Harmony?!"

"You're one to talk!" Harmony huffed. "Last I checked, Spike was a dog's name!"

Spike muttered obscenities under his breath and debated pulling over to the side of the road and ripping her heart out.

Her hand made its way to his thigh, and she began to stroke him softly. "You can call me Harm, though," she whispered in his ear before her hand moved on to...other regions of his anatomy.

"Harm," he moaned, trying to keep his focus on the road. "'s more than appropriate for you..."