Author's Note: Enjoy the final chapter, all!

Previously: If you don't know, you're seriously fucked. ~_^

Xander gulped. He turned to look at Willow pleadingly, but her Resolve Face was out in full force. There was no way in hell to persuade her. He was stuck. He took a deep breath and reached out one shaky hand to lift the latch.

He froze, feeling the three behind him still as well. They waited for a minute. Two. Still, nothing but silence from inside the storage room.

With aching slowness, Xander opened the large, metal door, praying to every higher power he could think that he not die today. The sight that met him once the door was fully opened was not encouraging.

Buffy stood in the middle of the room, several feet back from the door, her hands on her hips in a 'you're about to be slain' manner. Her eyes were molten with fury, and she scowled as she saw those who had tricked her.

Spike was beside her, leaning back against a tall holder of collapsible chairs, occasionally taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips with the best 'pissed off Master Vampire' look he could manage. No one who looked into his eyes at that moment could have any doubt that he was gleefully disemboweling them in his mind.

Oh well, it could be slightly worse, Xander decided. They could be naked. "Hi, guys," Xander's voice squeaked up several octaves on the 'hi'.

"Xander." Buffy's tone was frigid. "Willow. Anya. Tara."

"Hi?" Willow gave the two of them a nervous little finger wave.

Buffy and Spike exchanged a glance before turning back to look at the four nervous Scoobies.

"Do you have any idea how dead you are?" Buffy asked curiously, tilting her head to one side. She smiled slightly when she saw Xander flinch.

"Uh...sorry?" he apologized anxiously.

"I have been in here for sixteen hours with no toilet," Buffy scowled. "You owe me for life."

Xander nodded nervously in agreement.

Anya rolled her eyes and decided that it was once again time to rush to her boyfriend's rescue. "I don't see what you're complaining about," she informed Buffy. "You've obviously been getting many orgasms while you were here. This whole place smells of sex. And there are no windows, either. I wonder how long it will take to air out?"

Buffy and Spike both gave Anya a hard look, and then both their faces began to crack into little, amused smiles. That was the great thing about the former vengeance demon; no matter how angry you were, she could always find something so completely outrageous to say that you just had to cheer up.

"Maybe they could get some fans," Spike suggested off-handedly. "'Sides, we're helpin' 'em with the hardest part."

Buffy struggled to turn her expression serious again. "That's right," she said sternly. "You're going to make this up to us, and you're going to start by helping Spike." She quickly walked passed them and out the door. "I'm going to find the bathroom..."

Willow and Tara snickered slightly, but sobered at the evil-glare-of-death Spike gave them.

"You're all carryin'," he informed them, gesturing over to the mattress.

Xander looked at him quizzically. "Huh?" he finally demanded.

"We're movin' it over to my crypt," Spike explained patiently. "Don' really fancy sleepin' on that sarcophagus forever, y'know. That, and the Slayer an' I have fond memories..."

"Y-You want us to touch...?" Xander gaped in horror. "Where you and Buffy...?"

"Oh, don't be a prude, honey," Anya patted him on the shoulder and moved to the far side of the mattress to help lift up one corner. "Your friends have come into physical contact with many objects we have had sex upon." She turned to Spike and gave him a bright smile. "I also find myself nostalgic for places I have copulated in." she informed him.

Spike chuckled as everyone else in the room's faces turned bright red. "Always knew you 'ad a bit 'f sense to you, Anyanka," he commented.

"Riiight then," Xander sighed. "Let's get this over with. Will, you and Tara take that corner, and – Spike? – you go kitty-corner from me, and...there. On three then?" he inquired then before they all lifted on the count of three...

The Scooby Gang lay strewn about the room in defeat. Willow and Tara were curled up together in the reclining chair, eyes closed in exhaustion. Xander sat on a cushion on the floor, leaning back up against the wall, Anya sleeping in his lap. He pulled up the edge of the navy blue blanket that covered them when she shivered and then spared a glance for the final couple in the room.

Spike lay on his back, sprawled across the mattress that now rested atop the stone sarcophagus. The fact that his eyes were closed and he wasn't breathing were pretty good signs that he actually was asleep.

Buffy lay beside him, her body wrapped up around his in a way she would never allow in public if she were awake.

Xander fought back the urge to make gagging noises. Honestly, if the two of them decided to carry on in that insufferably cutesy manner they'd taken to during the engagement spell, he would never forgive himself for his part in the setting them up together. Fortunately, so far they'd just been their usual fighty/flirty selves with only occasionally more touching. Xander decided that he could live with that.

As he watched, Buffy stirred slightly, a murmur of contentment escaping her lips when she found herself next to the peroxide blond vampire. She yawned, smacked her lips together, and sat up to stretch.

That was when she saw that Xander was there.

She instantly blushed and attempted to untangle her limbs from Spike's. The effort was futile, of course. Even in his sleep, he was annoyingly persistent. She finally gave up with a sigh.

"You still here?" she asked Xander softly, so as not to wake Anya or Spike.

He nodded. "We all are," he gestured over to where Willow and Tara slept as well. "Damn, that thing was hard to move..."

"It wasn't even that heavy," Buffy complained, "just floppy and awkward."

"Lucky thing you helped us," Xander agreed. A little smile quirked on his lips. "Especially when we had to explain what we were doing to that campus police officer..."

Buffy giggled at the memory. "I swear he thought we were off to an orgy in the woods."

Xander smiled fondly at the memory of their conflicting and nonsensical excuses. "Yeah... Lucky the campus police don't give a damn."

Buffy laughed and rested her head back against Spike's chest. "Xander?" she said after a minute.

"Yeah?"

"Er...um...I don't quite know how to ask this..." she began nervously.

He look turned several degrees more curious.

"What I mean is...OK, me, vampire," Buffy finally said. "What's up with that? I mean, you hate vampires, and then you're setting me up with one, and...it's weird."

"Who said I hate vampires?" Xander asked in surprise.

Buffy gave him a disbelieving look. "You did," she informed him, "like every single day I was dating Angel. And then you said that I was crazy for dating one and that you would kill Angel, and—"

"Ah!" Xander cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Sensing the source of the confusion here. See, what you're missing here is the extreme degree to which I just did not like Angel..."

"Because he was a vampire."

"No, because he was Angel," Xander clarified. "Yeah, the vampire thing was a bit of a concern, especially since he couldn't control himself for more than two seconds without the soul, but Angel himself was the thing I objected to."

"What's wrong with Angel?" Buffy huffed, irritated.

Xander rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Oh, let's see... He puts on this whole brooding, tortured, hey-all-you-women-feel-really-sorry-for-me-and-get-sucked-into-my-land-of-misery-by-trying-to-redeem-me act, and then he goes through this whole star-crossed lovers bit where he loves you and then he can't and then he does and then his trying to fight it, and he flings you back and forth on this emotional roller-coaster for no good reason other than it makes him seem more like the poor, suffering hero, and then—"

"OK, OK, I get the picture!" Buffy cut him off. "But it's not his fault that he was—"

"Argh!" Xander exclaimed. "That's exactly why I can't stand the guy! He had the damn act down so well that everyone excused everything he ever did. Well, I'm sorry, but he was just weak and sad and depressed and way too addicted to the pain, and no one should have to put up with that with him. Honestly, Buffy, you still worship the ground he walks on so much that you let him dictate your entire relationship with Riley. It's not healthy to let your ex run your life like that!"

"Angel wouldn't approve of Spike," Buffy pointed out.

Xander smiled. "And that's part of why I think he's good for you. You've been living in Angel's shadow less and less ever since you and Spike started working together. It's like I can see that spark of life and happiness back in your eyes whenever he's around you. He brings out the best in you, Buff, and strangely I think you bring out the best in him, too..."

She considered this for a moment. "He agreed to help me with my patrols, you know."

"See?" Xander insisted. "You've been together for one day, and already you've dragged him over to the forces of light. And Giles will be so psyched. He's been trying to convince Spike to help out for months."

Buffy flinched. "I get the feeling he'll be less thrilled about the vampire lovin'."

Xander shrugged. "Actually, he was kinda surprised it didn't start up again after the wedding spell. According to him, it's scandalous the way you two flirt all the time."

"Giles says this?!" she asked in disbelief.

He nodded.

"Why did everyone know I was in love with Spike before I did?" she sighed in exasperation.

"You were pretty obvious," he pointed out.

Buffy nodded in defeat. "So," she got back on track, "this cancels out the vampire thing?" She still wasn't convinced.

Xander gave her a sheepish look and opened his mouth to speak before his eyes widened in worry. "You sure he's asleep?" he demanded.

Buffy leaned over and kissed Drusilla's bite mark on his neck, smiling at the memories of all the fun she'd gotten to have breaking the insane vampiress' claim on him. He murmured and curled up against her a bit more at her reassertion of her claim, but he didn't awaken.

"Like a baby," she assured Xander.

"OK, then," Xander agreed. "You never, ever tell him this, right?"

"Xander, what is it?" Buffy demanded, suddenly horribly curious.

"Promise," he insisted.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "All right, I promise," she agreed. "Now tell me."

"For a vampire," Xander said in a conspiratorial whisper, "he's actually kinda cool. I mean, we argue like crazy and all, but he's fun to hang out with, and he plays a mean game of pool, and he treats Anya like she's a real person, and he defends me against nasty burly guys at the Bronze who think I've swindled them – that last one being hypothetical, of course."

Buffy giggled at the image. "Hypothetical, right," she said with false conviction before she started laughing again.

Xander muttered under his breath about how he never got any respect. "And he's so not Angel, I'm not even going to go there," he finished. "He's honest and straightforward, and he won't fuck with you head, Buffy. If he says he loves you—"

"He does."

"—Then he loves you, and he's not going to leave you with some half-assed excuse," Xander finished.

"And when did you become an expert on all things Spike?" Buffy demanded with a small smile.

Xander groaned. "Since I had to live with him for two months," he informed her. "I gotta tell you, I may like the guy, but if I ever have to live with him again, he is so dust. He's like the poster boy for World's Worst Roommate."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, gesturing to the crypt around them, "just look at his decorating sense..."

Xander snorted. "You shoulda seen it when he first moved in," he retorted.

"I can only imagine... But, thanks," she said with a small smile.

"For what?" He seemed honestly not to know.

"For being cool with this. For letting me do what makes me happy. For putting up with another of my demon lovers," she answered in quick succession.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't want you to be happy?" he shrugged it off. "Plus, I've discovered the joys of the demon lover as well."

Buffy giggled. "We should start a club."

"Demon Lovers Anonymous," Xander agreed, "except it's not a problem..."

"Nope," Buffy agreed, gently ruffling Spike's hair. "In fact some demons know how to love better than humans do..."

"Like, say, Riley," Xander retorted.

"Amen to that," Buffy agreed...

Buffy and Spike let out a sigh of relief when the four Scoobies finally recovered enough to leave. Frankly, the effort of keeping their clothes on was far too great, and the instant they were alone they quickly remedied the problem.

However, the desperation ended there. As they together, side by side and skin to skin on the mattress, they suddenly became content with just being with one another.

"Y'know," Buffy said with a small smile, "I've been dreaming about just this all week..."

"What?" Spike teased. "Not havin' sex?"

She playfully swatted at his head. "No, silly. You. Me. Sarcophagus. Nakedness."

"'S a lovely combination," he agreed with a little wink.

She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder and looked up at the stone ceiling. For a while, she just allowed her body to feel every inch of Spike that was pressed up against her, savoring his cool, smooth alabaster skin and the hard muscles beneath it...one of which was becoming increasingly harder...

"It's strange," she finally said, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"What is, kitten?" he inquired, his lips gently brushing her temple.

"This," she said. "You. Me. How we came to be."

"No arguments there, luv," he said with a small grin. "No complaints, either..."

"It's just...what if we hadn't started working together under that spell? Would all this have happened?" she asked nervously.

He shrugged. "Prob'ly not," he agreed. "Never would've even let myself look at my mortal enemy..."

"Me, neither," Buffy agreed. "I never would've trusted you, gotten to know you, fallen in love... My job as the Slayer would have prevented it all."

"We're lucky it did happen then," he agreed.

She nodded. "It's just sad," she sighed. "That I could have gone all my life with you right there beside me, and me never seeing how we could be together..." She trailed off and began to stroke his hair. "I mean, I'd like to think that love was like destiny and that we were inevitable no matter what, but somehow I don't think it would have worked."

"Maybe 'f you'd gotten off you high horse for one second an' admitted how you jus' wanted to jump me all along," Spike joked.

Buffy swatted him on the shoulder. "I'm trying to be emotional and sappy here, and you're making it difficult," she complained.

"Vampires don' get emotional an' sappy," he retorted.

"What about back in the storage room when you said that—Mmf!" she was abruptly cut off when his hand covered her mouth.

"Vampire don' get emotional an' sappy," he insisted again. "'m the Big Bad. I don' say sweet things like...whatever it was you were thinkin' of..." he nervously trailed off.

"Right," Buffy giggled. "You're way too evil and manly. I'm sure all gushiness I was hearing was just some demon dialogue for 'Unh! Good fuck!'."

He sulked. "There's no reason to mock me," he retorted.

"You were ruining my 'moment'," she countered.

"Well then, carry on, luv," he said with a sly smirk. "Din't mean to annoy..."

"Yes, you did," she accused. "'Cause you know how sexy I find it..."

"Mmm," he murmured into her hair, inhaling the fragrant vanilla perfume.

"So, where was I?" Buffy demanded.

"Us not ever gettin' together," he provided.

"Right," she agreed. "It's so sad..."

"Yeah," Spike agreed with a chuckle, "you could still be stuck with Cap'n Cardboard."

Buffy shuddered. "Don't think I could've pulled that act off much longer, though. Sooner or later we'd 've realized just how terribly not right we were together."

"Dunno," he retorted, "White Bread seemed pretty dense 'bout it."

"So was I," she pointed out, "until you opened my eyes to something better..."

Their lips met in a brief kiss that naturally deepened, and before either of them knew what was happening, Buffy was on her back and Spike was inside her.

They clutched each other's bodies tightly, reasserting that this was real, that they had found each other in this world and would never let go again.

Their lips latched together, licking and biting and tasting and savoring, tongues dueling and teeth nipping as their hips thrust together in a steadily increasing rhythm.

Neither bothered to hold their lovemaking out, knowing that they had forever to take their time. It was a gentle climax for both, and they held each other tightly and let out little cries of each other's name as the smooth waves of pleasure washed over them.

"I love you," Spike whispered, rolling to the side and pulling her with him.

She snuggled against his chest and smiled lazily. "Love you, too," she whispered into the pillow of his chest. "You know," she said, "we really owe Jonathan..."

"Yeah..." Spike agreed, closing his eyes.

Then one quirked back open. "Jus' one question, Betty," he began.

"Buffy. Yeah?"

"Who's Jonathan?"

And yet another story comes to an end. *sniff* Everyone be sure to give me comments on the story as a whole now that it's finished. And, now, for the vital questions of the future:

A sequel? Again, probably not. Certainly not yet since I don't have one on my 'Story Ideas' List at the moment, and I've got about nine others there already. If you bug me a lot? Maybe an idea will eventually come to me. ~_^

What's next? Yes, I do have a new Buffy/Spike NC-17 saga all prepped and ready to be written. It's called 'Dream Girls'. However, I'll be out of town this weekend, so it won't get up until after then. Also, I want to force myself to write a bit more of 'The Seventh Slayer' before I get caught up in something new. But the new story will definitely appear with the next week.

Once again, thank you all for your feedback and support on this one, especially with all the technical difficulties (ff.net, BSC, etc.). You readers are what keeps me going. ^_^