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By Kaylee

"Kai?"

"Yeah Jean?"

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"... That's good."

"Yeah."

"So...what are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Oh. ... Is there something I can help you with?"

"Not really."

"Oh. Um, Kai?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you...watching me?"

I pointed towards the stove she was busily working over. "That."

"The...stove?"

"What you're doing with it."

"You mean cooking?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." She turned back to the pot and shifted it on the burner. The potatoes inside bobbled unhappily at the motion. "Kai?"

"Um hm?"

"You've never watched me cook before."

"I know."

"Why are you doing it now?"

I shrugged. "Picking up pointers, I guess."

She nodded sagely. "I see." The fridge opened of its own accord -- or hers, I guess, since refrigerators don't tend to do that under normal circumstances -- and a stick of butter floated out to settle neatly on the counter beside her. I've never gotten used to seeing things like that...and I kinda hope I never do. There's something almost magical about so much of what the others take for granted. I keep wanting to look for strings whenever Jean uses her telekinesis to make things fly around like that. "So...have you heard from Logan?"

"Not since he went off wandering the other day." I watched with carefully disguised fascination as she pulled out a knife and cut the butter without measuring it. If I tried that I'd never get the amount anywhere near right. Jean seems to get away with it, though.

"Do you miss him?"

I sat back in the chair I'd claimed and put my attention on her instead of the stove. "He's fun to have around," I told her warily. Telepaths. Can never trust whether they're asking an idle question or trying to get into your emotions.

It looked like she smiled just a little, then schooled it back behind a pleasant blank expression. "It's only that you never just...hang around like this. I was wondering if you might be bored."

Well. That I could answer without reservation. "Bored outta my mind, yeah. There's nothing to do." Why the hell else would I be watching you cook, huh?

"I thought you might be trying to get to know me better," she commented mildly as a cabinet flipped open and a bowl flitted its way over to her.

"Trying to... Did you just read my mind?" Nosy meddling pushy annoying--

"Sometimes it's hard to tell what's been said aloud and what's been thought loudly. Like the insults you're heaping on my head right now."

A scowl sprang to life. I clamped my thoughts tightly to me. "Thought you had trouble touching my mind."

She turned towards me, brushing rich red hair behind her ear and giving me a wry look. "I do. You've got mental shielding that's either an amazing natural development or your mind's reaction to mental trauma. At least that's my guess. But when you project thoughts at me, I have to work not to hear them."

"Oh." Well that was irritating. "Well, uh...sorry. I didn't mean to, um..."

"Call me a snotty invasive yuppie bitch?"

I smiled weakly and pushed the chair back. "Well...I sorta let my mind ramble on sometimes...I don't think it means half the things it says..."

Green eyes flickered across mine. They were dancing -- couldn't tell if it was with humor or anger. "Ah. So I'm only half a nosy meddling pushy annoying snotty--"

"Oh damn," I cut in. "Late for a Danger Room session with, uh...Bishop! Sorry to run...thanks for the cooking tips..." I was out the door before the last words escaped, dropping the false smile as soon as I was out of sight. From behind me, I was pretty sure I heard the sound of smothered chuckles.

I shivered a little. Telepaths. There's something so...so not right about people picking your very thoughts out of your head. It's damn unsettling.

*You should try being one sometime,* whispered a voice in my head. I gritted my teeth and concentrated on shutting everything out of my mind that didn't belong there. Faint laughter tinkled across my thoughts, and then that uneasy presence was gone. I shivered again and headed for outdoors, hoping to find a distraction.

The distraction came quicker than I expected. When I reached the front door it opened before my hand touched the knob, almost smacking me in the nose. I backpedaled a step and glared at the impassive black face that met my gaze.

"Kai," Bishop said without preamble. "You wanted a training session?"

I held the glare -- which didn't seem to impress him much -- and focused on thinking very nasty things about a certain infuriating redhead in as loud a mental voice as I could manage. "Yeah, Bish. A training session." My third one today. "If you're up for it."

He nodded shortly, stepping through and closing the door. "I'll meet you down there in five minutes." His eyes swept critically over my jeans and the flannel shirt of Logan's I'd thrown on earlier. "Put on your uniform."

"Sir yes sir," I muttered. Louder-- "Anything else I can do for you?" Feel the sarcasm, Bish. Taste it.

He looked back over his shoulder. "Jean just informed me you wanted to work on an advanced full contact program of mine today. You might consider wearing extra padding."

He took himself towards the elevator. After a minute -- swearing bloody murder -- I headed for the stairs.

***

"You didn't pad up."

"Move better like this."

"This program is a rough one."

I shrugged. "I have a healing symbiont."

"I'm making it very difficult."

"I can handle it."

He raised his eyebrows. The 'M' over his right eye seemed to stretch and narrow with the motion. "We haven't trained together with this program before. You are not usually so foolish about leaping into an unknown situation."

Shows what you know. "Bish, I just wanna get this done, okay? Lecture me later."

"Very well."

And just like that, the world changed. Moderate lighting vanished. The scene all around us was illuminated by nothing but a single dim streetlight with a cracked cover. The post it was mounted on leaned precariously, looking as if it might decide to knuckle over the street if someone had the inclination to breathe on it. Rubble was strewn across sidewalks, streets...through the open sides of half-fallen buildings. Roiling overhead was a thick layer of oppressive smoke, stained yellow-gray by the weak bulb. The Danger Room did its best to simulate scents: They were noticeably off, but close enough to serve.

The bodies looked real. Almost smelled real. It was hard to keep a level expression as I took in the scene. I may not like them...I may never want them...I may go out of my way to avoid having contact with them...but seeing the crushed and broken bodies of children and teenagers still strikes straight for the gut every time, even knowing they're not real.

"Where...?"

His face was blank, his voice flat. "The future."

The way he said it...so matter-of-fact. As if he wasn't telling me this was what the capricious character of Time had in store for the world. He's a man who's seen the ugly face of tomorrow...and he has no pity or patience for those who can't handle it.

I decided I could handle it. More importantly, I decided I'd do whatever I could in this life to keep it from ever happening.

Xavier's Dream had never seemed so clear before.

My face went expressionless -- the way I usually handle uncomfortable emotions and thoughts -- and I suddenly found myself hoping fiercely that part of this scenario involved tracking down those most responsible for this carnage and taking them out of holographic existence. "All right, Bish. Let's do it."

As if that was the cue, the whine of artillery sounded and Bishop and I threw ourselves aside, committing full attention to survival and destruction.

***

Towel draped around my aching shoulders, I started up the main staircase. The whir of Charles' 'soundless' hoverchair brought my head up, and I met his direct gaze as he coasted neatly downward towards me.

"Charles," I said with a nod, straightening a little and working on not looking as tired as I felt.

"Kai," he said warmly, smiling broadly. "It's so good to see you again."

I faltered in my steps. "What?"

His smile dropped, then returned. All in the blink of an eye, like it had never vanished. "How have you been?"

I chewed a cheek in confusion. Charles doesn't seem to dislike me, but we've never established any sort of rapport. Too dissimilar in our mentalities. Entirely different world-views. He'd never spoken to me like this before. "Charles, are you...?"

He scowled suddenly. "Damn." I started to ask what the hell was going on...

Towel draped around my aching shoulders, I started up the main staircase. The whir of Charles' 'soundless' hoverchair brought my head up, and I met his direct gaze as he coasted neatly downward towards me.

"Charles," I said with a nod, straightening a little and working on not looking as tired as I felt.

He said nothing and continued on past me as if I wasn't even there. I stopped sharply and pivoted to stare after him. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

His chair halted with a faint huff. He craned his head around to stare at me. He was frowning darkly.

"What--" I started.

"Damn," he muttered, eyes glittering furiously.

Towel draped around my aching shoulders, I started up the main staircase. The whir of Charles' 'soundless' hoverchair brought my head up, and I met his direct gaze as he coasted neatly downward towards me.

"Charles," I said with a nod, straightening a little and working on not looking as tired as I felt.

He paused on the stairway and just...stared for a second. Something tickled at my thoughts. Deja vus, I told myself dismissively. Despite the fact that I was most likely right, some part of me warily tightened the mental rein I was holding on my mind. Guess Jean's little trick made more of an impact than I thought...

Finally-- "Kai," he responded with a matching nod, watching me almost curiously. It was unsettling, somehow. Uncomfortable.

"Is something the matter, Charles?" I asked after a moment, trying not to fidget.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "Nothing's the matter."

Looks angry. Better just leave him be. "Glad to hear it." I nodded once. "See ya."

A strange expression -- and almost-smile -- crossed his face. He nodded in return. "Good."

"Good," I agreed. Then took myself outta there before having to wonder about any other weirdness. For a second as I left I thought my keen ears almost picked up the sound of a low chuckle...

He's stressed, I pointed out to myself. Forget about it.

Figuring that was the wisest course of action, my mind didn't even argue with me. For once.

***

It was a crystal clear night, stars standing out in sharp relief from the nothingness of space that gave them the perfect black canvass to work with. I stared at them, still feeling unsettled, trying to find that balance, that wonder that they usually gave me. It was hard to feel it. Hard to believe in it. Hard to accept the weighty silence of unending distance.

What was it about today that made me so...restless?

His approach was marked by clanking and the soft shuff-shuff of fur. I raised a hand in absent greeting, not bothering to turn to look as he pushed his way through the back doors and out onto the too-manicured lawn.

"Hank."

I almost heard his start of surprise. He fumbled with whatever machinery he was carrying, metal banging in irritated protest to the treatment. "Kai. May I inquire as to what you're doing out here all by your lonesome?"

Shoulders lifted and fell. "Bored," I said succinctly, though that didn't entirely cover it.

"Ah," he answered sagely. "So you came outside for the old-fashioned remedy of a breath of fresh air?"

"That and--" I gestured skywards. "--this."

"'This'?" he echoed. "The heavens, perchance?"

There was eagerness in his tone, as well as something akin to shock. A wry half-smile stretched my lips. "What...you're surprised to find I'm interested in the stars?"

"It doesn't seem like something that would appeal to a woman of your...temperament."

Another noisy clang as he set something down. Curiosity got the better of me. I rolled my neck to allow myself a look at whatever new toy he'd brought out.

My eyes widened involuntarily. "A telescope?"

His smile was broad and toothy, displaying teeth to full advantage. "Highest resolution you'll ever find on this planet, my dear. Ahmed -- a Shi'ar scientist with a keen, if slightly emotionless, interest in all things of the astronomical persuasion -- was kind enough to enhance my inferior equipment during a holographic conversation which was primarily meant to consult on the potentiality of the Legacy virus striking non-human races...but I digress." He almost looked sheepish, inasmuch as a big blue furry fanged animal-man could look sheepish. "I admit, I'd expected everyone to be asleep, thus allowing me the opportunity to attempt mastery of this bubbadoo."

I blinked. "Bubbadoo?"

"That's the beauty of the English language. If you can't find a word that suits your meaning, you simply make one up."

I shifted around on the grass, bracing hands behind me and stretching legs to the fore. "Okay, go back a sec... Telescope?"

He laughed, deep and baritone and friendly. "Yes, Kai. Telescope. Powerful, amazing telescope. With this piece of equipment I'll be able to see the cracked surface of Europa. The volcanic eruptions on Io. Details of the great red spot on Jupiter. I'll see--" He cut himself off suddenly. "I'm sorry. I tend to forget that others don't share my wide range of obsessions."

My breathing had quickened somewhere in there. Something was nipping at the deepest, most hidden corners of my mind...the places I never go, because there isn't any light there to guide me. The holes in my head where memories used to be. Something nipped there and I -- staring into his warm and enthusiastic eyes -- could almost recall just what it was...

And then it was gone. Just like that, as if the almost-touch had never happened.

I swallowed the disappointment. Knew how to do that by now. "I love astronomy. I could listen to you talk about it all day."

His eyes widened this time. "You?"

"That's a surprise?"

"Well if you don't mind my saying, Kai...you don't come across as the sort who would be interested in the peaceful pursuits of intellectual science."

I almost bristled...but something about Hank just doesn't let me get on the defensive around him. He's too...too him. I settled for curiosity-fueled bluntness. "Because I'm a fighter? Does that make me a mindless thug?"

Silence for a moment as he considered how to answer. I let my eyes drift from his to feast on the telescope braced so carefully and lovingly in front of him. It stood on a tripod like any telescope would, and the lens was as large as the mid-range scope I'd used once before to catch a glimpse of shadows of moons on Jupiter's surface. I remembered the flash of awe -- the heart-stilling moment of utter comprehension of how very, very small I was and how very, very wide the universe stretched all around me.

"That wasn't precisely what I meant, Kai. You've just always given me the impression that you are a woman whose interest lies in the here and now, as opposed to staring at lights in the sky that are as far a 'there' as we can see and -- considering the relative distances and the rate at which light travels, and if you'll pardon my poor grammar -- as far 'then' as well."

I chased his words around in my mind for a moment until I matched up phrases. 'Interested in the here and now as opposed to the there and then.' Why didn't he just say that?

"I am more interested in the here and now...usually. But not about this." How could I explain it to him? How, when I didn't even understand the why of it myself? "It's just something...something I've always been different about. Stargazing. I just...it's different. Y'know?" Wow, Kai, you're positively eloquent, aren't you? You sound like a moron. "It's hard to explain," I finished lamely.

His eyes crinkled at the corners. "No need to explain," he said quietly. Then smiled. "But I tell you, I'm ecstatic to discover a teammate with a passion for the heavens! I was beginning to feel rather lonely."

I smiled a little and pushed to my feet. "Can I join you?"

"Most certainly! Perhaps with the two of us we'll stand a chance of convincing this--"

"Bubbadoo."

"--bubbadoo to work properly."

I moved to stand beside him, then proceeded to do precisely nothing while he whipped the thing into working order with an ease I could barely fathom. My eyes drifted again skywards. There was a strange, anxious itch somewhere between throat and chest...that bare disturbance that whispered again-- memory...

"There now," Hank murmured, peering through the scope. "There. It wasn't so difficult after all."

I continued staring upward, trying to catch the elusive thread. Someone...someone at some time had done this with me. Had stood outside on a chill night, pointing a magical tool at the stars and telling me about the mysteries we stared at. There was a feeling tied up with it -- a flavor. It was a Sensei feeling; warmth and safety and hopeful wonder all tied up into a ball of excitement that nestled somewhere right beside my heart.

It was thrilling and terrifying, and I wouldn't let the feeling go for anything in the world.

"Kai?" He was looking at me oddly. "May I inquire...?"

"What?"

"Is something the matter?"

I shook my head faintly. "Have I told you before that you're a great guy, Hank?"

He straightened. It looked as if his brow furrowed under the soft blue fur. "Um...not that I recall..."

"Well you are."

For a moment he just stared, then a half-smile, somehow gentle, tugged his cheek. "Thank you, Kai."

I answered the smile just a little, mind still struggling to draw conclusions, heart content with the feeling. The urge hit me to throw my arms around him and hug the big furball silly.

Instead I bumped a hip against him to scooch him over, then put my eye to the scope and watched the stars whisper silently across the sky, carrying their secrets, offering glimpses of eternity, and touching that something deep inside that made me feel -- for the first time I could really remember -- young.