On that note-- comments to KayleeSama@aol.com. I'll be sure that Kael gets 'em. :)

***

Zach woke slowly as the morning sunlight slipped gently across the comforter. He drew his shoulders together in preparation for his morning's cat-stretch...and froze, as his psi-sense registered the presence of another.

Only it wasn't merely a register. More like a contact, or a meeting. And there was a warmth in it, a sense in himself of reaching out without searching, of being met and joined, like the clasp of a hand. His first awareness came as a simple, deep contentment that encompassed the mental and the physical, and reached all the way into his soul he thought as his eyes finally opened. Quietly shocked but not fighting the terrifying, wonderful feeling at all.

On his upper arm rested a tickling mass of silken black hair, and beneath the other hand was the warm skin of a slim, firm shoulder. And in his mind, in all the places that so often held only need, and aloneness, and pain, there rested that presence radiating contentment, and warmth, and what he almost dared to call love. Before his eyes were pale, chiseled features so beautiful his throat tightened, set in an expression of absolute peacefulness. He might perpetually be the hopeless romantic, but he had forgotten he could feel such tenderness.

And he knew when those lovely eyes opened there would be emotions in them that would daze him with their intensity. What more could he have asked to wake up to?

He was surprised to realize the creeping sun was about to start shining in his eyes. A quick glance at the clock confirmed the time as late morning, and Zach felt a tiny (very tiny) flash of guilt. He should have been at work hours ago. The circumstances of the previous night that had led to his forgetting to set the alarm pulled a grin from the habitually set mouth. So he would call in and take the day off. It wouldn't be the first time, and never had there been a better reason.

With that decided there was nothing to do besides trail the somnolent form beside him with his eyes, over and lovingly over, cherishing every newly discovered detail. There was the faint acrid scent of old coffee from the kitchen where the auto timer had brewed a pot hours ago. It called him to indulge in the single vice he allowed to taint his control, but he loathed the thought of moving. This was a truly perfect moment and he wanted to spend it recording every detail for future reference.

~Now there's a thought,~ the honest portion of his brain observed wryly. ~Waking up next to someone with whom there's a future at all.~ His luck in the relationship department had always run more towards hot and sweet and short, or warm and affectionate and occasional. The thought of hot and sweet, and warm and affectionate, and so many other things and apparently forever -- dizzied him, and changed everything. Zach knew that when he looked in the mirror he would find a glow that had nothing to do with the hunger and everything to do with sheer unbelieving joy. Oh, he wanted this; he was even admitting the desperately to himself now, but it just hadn't sunk in yet that Jack had said, "For as long as you'll have me," when Zach had asked him how long he would stay. It would have meant less from the boy he'd had what was really only a fling with on Muir Island. Zach would still have accepted him and enjoyed it but would have taken it all a bit more lightly. Kept some of his defenses prepped for the day a pretty thing like Jubilee would draw him away. As it stood now, he couldn't raise even the ghost of a shield between himself and Jack. Internally, the defensive lines had been redrawn to encompass them both. There had just been no doubting the absolute genuineness in those haunting eyes.

There had been something, well, profound, different about Jack when he returned from Greenland. There had been nothing of the willful boy in him when they talked and everything of a young man's dawning determination. In a dozen small ways and even a few major, Jack had come into his own during those weeks in the wilderness. Most important to how Zach perceived their relationship, Jack had returned with a well tempered, if newly won, mastery over the hunger. He would still need real training, extensive training, to ever be safe with himself, or comfortable; but somehow 'discipline' had changed from something he was discovering, or struggling for, into something he practiced and used and embraced. Which precluded the thought that Jack had come back to him out of desperation for a mentor. He had gotten himself over the first, the hardest, hurdles. He hadn't wanted to talk about the time he spent out camping and Zach wouldn't push him. His own initial struggles for mastery still made guest appearances in his nightmares.

In the days since Jack had shown up at his office door under escort they had not lacked for more pleasant things to talk about. They had long breakfasts before he went to work, and he would come home on his lunch break to Jack's good if simple cooking. Zach kept trying to get Jack out of the apartment and into one of his favorite restaurants, but hadn't pushed too hard when Jack consistently proved reluctant. So they had take out every night, and watched movies, or talked, or made very tender love. Not at all a bad way to spend an evening.

Jack sighed in his sleep and nuzzled more closely into Zach's chest and Zach sighed in turn at the little jump his heart took at even so small a gesture. He really was a hopeless romantic, he reflected, raising two fingers to slip through the so-soft hair. Especially now. He didn't think he'd ever actually been in love before.

Through the thoughts that led him into he continued stroking the dark hair until the idle idea that Jack needed a haircut floated by. Zach came back to the moment, startled by a realization. Jack had come to him with a backpack over his shoulder and absolutely nothing else. Things had been going so smoothly between them that he hadn't even stopped to think what Jack might need, or want, in the way of day to day things. Jack had volunteered to do the grocery shopping two days ago and Zach had sent him with a list, to which he had added not one thing, and a credit card, which had been left on the kitchen table on top of the receipt.

~Stupid, stupid, why didn't I think of it sooner. He already feels like he's intruding half the time.~ And that Zach would not allow. He lived a comfortable life -- nice apartment, maid service, custom tailored suits and all -- but the fact was that on his salary that all equated to living rather modestly. He never spent more than half his paycheck in any given month and he was not going to allow Jack to suffer in silence or do without out of some misplaced sense of humility. ~He hasn't even been using my shampoo. Stupid.~

A smile had been curving Jack's lips as he slept on under Zach's light caresses, but he reacted to the suddenly stiffened body beside him by opening his eyes. The look in them the moment before consciousness that made clear Jack's pleasure in the moment made Zach's heart squeeze again.

~I am hopeless.~

Jack blinked sleepily and turned his cheek to rub against Zach's fingers like a kitten. He must have read the determined mischief in Zach's controlled expression, because he asked in good-natured suspicion. "What are you up to?"

Zach grinned despite himself and kissed the question from his lips. It instantly became a deeper affair than he'd intended, so he had to wait until he caught his breath to say, "And good morning to you, too." Then, more firmly, "Today, we're going shopping."

***

Zach leaned silently against the doorway, watching with a smile as Jack hustled around the kitchen. Breakfast was on the table and he was finishing the clean up, humming what sounded like 'the Power of Love.'

And looking gorgeous in black jeans and a sport shirt that complimented his eyes. It was only when what looked like a nervous rub at the slightly worn jeans turned into a thoughtless reach for the dishwashing detergent that Zach's smile faded. Jack's clothes looked comfortable, if still a bit loose on him, but not shabby. The problem was that Zach guessed these were the best he had. It made him ashamed of what little prodding he'd done in trying to get Jack to go out. Zach still took meticulous care with his own appearance, but even he could laugh at how obsessed he'd been with clothes as a youth. Jack really didn't seem like that, but no one his age could be completely over such insecurities. It would be ridiculous to feel sorry for Jack over something as ultimately trivial as clothes, but Zach was determined that today it would be eliminated as an issue altogether.

Which left the problem that Jack knew where the cleaning supplies were without looking. Zach had been so caught up in the mere fact of Jack's presence that he hadn't been paying attention to anything else. Looking back he realized that Jack had been keeping the kitchen spotless, despite cooking twice a day. And the house had been perfect even on the days the maid didn't come. Every day he asked Jack how his day had gone, and every day Jack had replied brightly with, "Just fine," and the information that he'd spent time on the Internet.

Which would be all well and fine if Jack were enjoying himself. But if he'd been spending his days alternately 'paying his dues' and trying to entertain himself, well, something would have to change.

Before Jack could notice him, Zach slipped back down the hallway to his room. Slacks and shirt found their way to hangars and the patent leathers to their rack. When he entered the kitchen again minutes later he promptly began singing along to Jack's tune.

"... Don't need no credit card to ride this train... It can be sad and...and..." He broke key with a laugh. "And that's all I remember. Smells delicious."

That slow, transforming grin. "Thanks. You sing so much better than I do."

Since that was true Zach just gave him a quick kiss and sat down. "But you're a much better cook."

Jack took the other chair with a wry look. "It's cheese eggs and toast, Zach. Not exactly gourmet."

Zach made a production of addressing the air. "He says this to a man who can burn milk," then smiled as Jack rolled his eyes. "Doubt me if you want, just never ask me to make hot chocolate."

"That's why you buy chocolate milk and use the microwave," Jack teased. "If you had one."

"I will after today," Zach shrugged. "What else can you think of that we need for this place? If you still want to stay in this apartment, that is. We could always get something else. Maybe something bigger. Or a house, even, if you'd rather be away from town."

That very shy, almost nervous look had returned to the bright eyes, but Zach was pleased to notice that sheer pleasure at the thought of making a place, together, seemed to be overwhelming it. Jack shrugged. "I've almost always lived in the city. But wherever you want is fine, Zach. As long as you still want...I mean..."

Zach put his hand over Jack's on the table and spoke very quietly. "As long as you're with me, I could live anywhere." He cleared his throat over the sudden seriousness and got back the teasing smile. "Even Greenland, I guess. But brrr!"

It was an easy fit between Zach and the table, and Jack was in his lap in a moment, not releasing his hand. Relief had taken the last of the awkwardness. "I could always keep you warm."

Zach wrapped his arms around him very firmly. "Well, it's a little chilly outside..." He laughed, then had to catch his breath as Jack snuggled into him further.

At the sound Jack's eyes turned wicked. "What about..." He breathed into Zach's ear, evoking a shiver. "Shopping?"

A deep breath. ~Control.~ Another one. Jack's hand slid over his shoulder and down his back. ~The mall will still be there tomorrow.~

"No," he said with difficulty. He stood convulsively and set Jack very gently away from him. He was relieved that only amusement colored the other's face at the momentary rejection. He caught his breath with an effort. "All right, enough. Breakfast. You still haven't put enough weight back on."

Jack returned obediently to his seat but his eyes were twinkling. "You were talking about shopping."

It was a struggle to regain his train of thought. "Yes. Right. A microwave. And a bigger bed. Mattress, sheets. Curtains. Do you think we need new wallpaper?"

Jack couldn't suppress a grin at the 'we,' but his reply was surprised. "You're getting all that today? Why?"

"Well, I only moved in here a couple of months ago, and it's been a busy two months. I should have had this place comfortable weeks ago."

"What about everything from your old apartment? Surely you have..."

"No, actually," Zach interrupted gently. "I always donate everything when I move and start over at the new place." He caught Jack's hand again. "Especially this time. This is our place. Our first place together. I just want it to be perfect."

Jack's lips were tight, his face glowing. "It already is, Zach. You're in it."

~Oh, no. We're both hopeless.~

***