"Come on, at least try something on. If you don't like the way it fits we can always get them to tailor it."

Jack turned from his casual inspection of a rack of sport shirts. Zach had seemed to forget that he was more accustomed to checking prospective clothes for holes than for to-the-millimeter fit. Still, this stop was turning out to be more fun than he'd expected. "But why, love? When it's so much more enjoyable to watch you do it?"

The angelic smile brought Zach away from the mirror alcove to Jack's side. He was fighting the impulses to preen and blush at once and immediately focused on the shirt in Jack's hand. "Do you like this kind? That color would look good with black slacks, I think, if you want to try on an outfit."

Jack turned from the rack with a faint smile. "I'm not much for clothes shopping, to tell you the truth."

Zach had reassumed his dignity once the effect of Jack's teasing wore off, sweeping into a store of what had to be for him extremely casual wear with an air that had brought the salesmen running. He had sent them all off again as quickly, and Jack had the suspicion that it was to keep him from having to deal with them. Now that haughty expression froze and seemed to crack. "And I have you standing here watching me do something you don't even like doing for yourself. I'm sorry, Jack, let me just change back into my clothes and we can go."

Jack reached for his hand as he turned briskly away, caught between laughter and disbelief. What man alive with a lover as physically beautiful as Zach could possibly object to watching him model silk shirts and very thin cotton tees, form hugging slacks and even the silk boxers he'd gotten a flash of in the dressing room. The blue eyes were shadowed as they turned back questioningly, and Jack spoke very softly. "Love, the only problem I have with watching you in all these clothes is how much I'd like to take them off of you."

Then Zach did blush, shoulders going back in a preen he barely suppressed. That rare vulnerability was in his eyes again and Jack realized for perhaps the first time that some of Zach's affected vanity was genuine. He reached for the other hand. "But I don't always have to be touching you. Sometimes I just like to look, to watch how beautiful you are when you move, and the way your eyes are always richer than any color you wear, and…"

Zach leaned to put a light kiss over his lips, expression wry despite the softness that had wiped everything else from his eyes. "Very eloquent, love, but you're going to give me a swelled head."

"It doesn't have to be eloquent when it's true."

"Then how can you deny me the pleasure of watching you model for me?" Zach twisted neatly, getting the subject off of his body and on to Jack's, which he found much more interesting.

"I'm enjoying watching you," Jack told him patiently. "Indulge me."

That was a hard request to deny. But something in Jack's manner was suggesting a certain level of reserve that Zach hadn't noticed before they came in the store. The psilink was at what had quickly become its normal register between them, a quiet warmth and light and simple sense of presence. Nothing had suggested so far that Jack was disturbed, but his body language said differently.

The schoolboy in Zach was turning cartwheels at Jack's obvious appreciation, but if Jack's stubbornness had been engaged on something, it bore investigating. "Well, if you don't like anything here we could always go somewhere else."

"This is fine, Zach. Go ahead and get whatever you want. I'm not exactly in a hurry."

Since Zach had come in here mostly to get Jack a few things, that wasn't particularly helpful. His instinct had been to take Jack to his usual clothier, but he hadn't thought Jack would be comfortable having strange people touching him to get his measurements. This place sold perfectly acceptable casual clothes, though it was a little trendy. But the sports shirt had been the first thing Jack had so much as looked at twice. Zach took him lightly by the shoulders and decided to get to the bottom of this the easy way. "Love, is anything wrong?"

An expression crossed the lovely features that Zach hadn't seen since before Jack left for Greenland and his curiosity flared quickly toward mild alarm. He reached out to up the flow of their link and found the light resistance of Jack's barriers. He didn't, he wouldn't, push, but he regretted that he hadn't noticed when those defenses had come into being again. It might give him some clue as to what this was about. Jack's statement was made in that tolerant, half-amused voice of before, but the eyes gave obvious warning of a boundary.

"I don't have the money for any of this stuff, Zach. And I don't really need any clothes."

Zach's searching expression became a stare, then he actually laughed. "Is that all? Jack, love, there's not an entire outfit in here worth one of those satin comforters. Of which I'm now the proud owner of five. Believe me, I'd consider it a much better investment if you could find something you wanted."

Jack's back stiffened ever so slightly and his smile became somewhat fixed. "It's not that I don't appreciate it, Zach, but really, no."

Zach felt the link grow even tighter and thought he understood. Stupid of him not to realize that Jack would still be self conscious about displaying himself after all his time as an invalid. Just because Jack was above superficialities in his judgments of others didn't put him beyond normal human insecurities. He leaned to kiss him lightly again, this time on the forehead. "Love, none of your old things really fit anymore, and they won't even after you've brought your weight back up. You've just gotten taller. You'd be the most beautiful person I've ever seen dressed in fig leaves, but I'd really like to find you some things you can at least feel comfortable wearing. Come on, nobody'll be watching. Except me."

He reached for the shirt Jack had been eyeing and was surprised when the slender hand closed over his short of the target. Jack's expression now brought his alarm back in an instant, seeming to struggle between anger and an attempt at tolerance. "Zach, please. I said no."

Jack had not been angry with him over anything since he'd come back and everything had changed. Zach was dumbstruck. Then it hit him, and he cursed himself. ~I've been flashing around all this money all day and talking about fancy places, and now he thinks I don't think that he's good enough for it all. And as if I wasn't being enough of a prick, now I go and insult the clothes he's been wearing for the past week in that patronizing tone.~ "Jack, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like what you've had on isn't fine, not that it matters what I think is good, it's just whatever you like. I wasn't trying to say you should dress any certain way, I just thought if you found something you liked I could…"

Jack found that his determination was no match for Zach's guilty panic. He stopped the rambling with a touch on Zach's lips. "I didn't think you were being anything but generous, Zach, please don't be upset."

"Then what is wrong?" Zach asked almost plaintively, obviously unconvinced that Jack's mood wasn't directed at him. "You know I would never insult you, or mean to sound like I was."

It was not amusing to see Zach lose his eloquence to distress over something so minor. It was just that he felt like having Zach spend a few hundred dollars on clothes for him didn't fall into the same category as the blanket generosity he'd been accepting from everyone ever since Logan found him. It wasn't the same as basic bed and board, or the small gift of a sweater or a dinner, or even as watching Zach spend more than a single adult on the poverty line would make in a year to furnish the apartment they would share. Being outfitted with a wardrobe was the sort of thing a parent would do for a child, or a pimp for a member of his stable. Jack knew it was irrational, that it hearkened back to old prejudices, but to him it felt important to draw some sort of line about what he would and would not accept out of Zach's wallet.

It would be different, it would be easier, to set up acceptable terms if Zach ever looked angry or even hurt by Jack's small acts that pulled away from him, whatever the prompt, but even when he'd done nothing at all wrong all he ever acted was scared. When, as now, he thought he had done something to cause hurt he would fly instantly to the edge of panic. In a man with normally preternatural emotional discipline the reaction was more than humbling, it was frightening.

Not that Jack could ever be frightened of him, only for him, that he could be so profoundly affected by something as mercurial as Jack's own emotional state. And he was still talking, still apologizing, still looking stricken that he had caused Jack any distress whatsoever. And Jack was just sitting here watching him, letting it all go on, out of some ironic need not to take advantage of him in a particular way. ~I really, truly, do not deserve him.~

"Zach, please, please don't think that. How can you insult me by trying to be good to me?" He eased his hold on the link just enough to send a wave of reassurance, though he didn't open himself completely. He put his arms around the slim waist in a hug, no tease or suggestion, merely affection and an attempt to soothe. "Love, stop."

And finally Zach did, face pressed into Jack's neck. He stood silent for a moment, his posture slowly softening in almost shy response. Finally he asked, "Then you forgive me?"

~Jerk, jerk, I am a complete and total jerk.~ "Yes, Zach," he said in his most serious tone. "I forgive you. I have absolutely no idea for what since you haven't been anything less than wonderful for so much as a second today, but if it will make you feel better then yes, I do forgive you."

There was no answer to that except to hold a little tighter. When Zach at last eased away he began diffidently pointing out styles he thought Jack might like, and Jack surrendered completely. ~Make him feel like I'm doing him a favor by accepting his favors, oh yeah, that was the point.~

"Zach, you know much more about this stuff than I do, and I really don't care. So just give me the benefits of your experience. Whatever you like is fine."

Zach had taken him at his word, and Jack had tried to get into the fun of it. Zach sent him in and out of the dressing room in four or five different kinds of slacks, three or four different types of shirts, and every shade the store offered in each of them. By the time they were well into it they had gotten the attention of several of the women on the other side of the aisle in the small store. They watched discretely, idly picking through racks, and Jack struggled to keep a blush off his face as Zach had him walk, turn, stop, adjusted a collar or a belt then, Again. By the time they'd put together three outfits Zach deemed suitable, Jack had the weary suspicion that he'd worn half the items in the store. Then, at Jack's absolute insistence, it was Zach's turn again. He went through a few sets of clothing that were remarkable only because he was in them. The next time he emerged, though, Jack heard the nearest female admirer take a deep breath. He supposed he ought to feel jealous, but he couldn't really blame them. Who wouldn't want to stare at the vision stepping out of the mirror alcove as if from a fantasy.

Zach walked forward with precise steps, executed a turn that belonged on a Paris runway, then gave Jack a smile. "What do you think?"

A gray jacket and slacks that made his eyes burn like purest blue fire, a shirt beneath that showed every lightly defined ripple of chest and stomach, and on top of all that the smile…

"I don't know," Jack told him seriously, and watched his enthusiasm start to fade. "I'm completely unable to think right now because I'm too busy looking. How did I end up with a living angel?"

Zach blushed so completely even his hands glowed. Fanciful praise aside, the look in Jack's eyes and the feel in the psilink were proof enough of Jack's opinion. He put his hands in the jacket pockets, suddenly awkward. "Well, then, uhm, three apiece, I guess we're set. Unless there's anything else you see."

"The image of you standing on the balcony in that under the stars," Jack suggested, then shook himself out of very real contemplation. "Not me, love, I'm officially finished with trying stuff on."

The return to playful warmth lasted exactly as long as it took them to approach the sales counter. Jack tried not to let Zach see it but he was no more comfortable with the reality of Zach's magnanimity than he'd been with his anticipation of it. He thought he did well at hiding all but his most pleasant emotions, and as they walked out arm in arm, weighted down by their purchases, he convinced himself that Zach had no idea there was anything wrong.

***