"Sympathy For A Blue Devil" by M.K.Davis

written 10-30-1999

italics=thoughts

Rahne closed the door behind her and leaned back upon it, covering her sullen face with her hands and wishing she could start the whole day over.

Why did I do that? What was I thinking? How can I ever go back out there and face him-- or any of them?

Moments earlier, she had been with the rest of Excalibur, celebrating Kurt's birthday. They were all having fun and making no small amount of noise. Kurt had requested that they not go out to celebrate, so the team bombarded him with gifts and an enormous cake. Kurt was having a wonderful time, or so she judged by the look on his darkened face. She herself was in a great mood, and enjoyed the interaction between all of them.

Kurt merrily opened his gifts that were stacked on the table before him, and entertained them all with his suave and comical responses to each one. Rahne watched as he reached for the small box containing the watch she had gotten him. She smiled in anticipation, hoping he would like it as much as he seemed to like the other gifts. She studied the shape of his glowing yellow eyes and the movement of his mouth as his face released a smile of happy surprise and gratitude.

"Thank you, Rahne-- it's perfect!" said Kurt, and then it happened.

He leaned over toward her, as if to give her a hug or a small peck on the cheek to show his appreciation, and she involuntarily jerked away from him.

Instantly she was aware of what she'd done, and was baffled as to why she did it. She was also terribly certain that all the others had surely noticed it. She wished to God that she had the power to turn into a mouse rather than a wolf, so that she could quietly scamper away from the embarrassing situation she had unwittingly put herself into.

Kurt's face revealed surprised pain for barely a moment before she reached out to him and gave him a hug trying desperately to recover from this little crime she had committed.

"You're quite welcome, Kurt. I hope it fits."

Fits? I hope it fits? What am I sayin'? Oh, God, get me out of this dining room!

Kurt and the rest continued with the present opening, but Rahne had no doubt that they were all still thinking about her shrinking back from Kurt's innocent affect of gratitude. She felt her face and ears warming, despite her fervent praying and trying not to think about it. In a second she was beet red.

Finally the moment came when she felt like she could leave the room without making things worse.

She slumped against the door and looked up at the ceiling, drenched in shame.

It's not like I haven't been around Kurt much! We've been close for a while now! I'm not afraid of him, and I know he's no fiend, though he looks like one! Why do these thing s happen to me, Father? I don't want or need another humiliating incident to follow me around my whole life. They're probably thinking, oh Rahne, her beliefs, her church, she can't accept that Kurt isn't the Devil because of his tail...

A sudden but gentle knock on her door made her jump forward in surprise. She didn't answer immediately. She wasn't sure if she wanted visitors, or if she even wanted to admit that she was there at all.

"Rahne? Are you in there?" It was Kurt.

What can I do but answer now? He must know I'm here.

"Yes...come in."

Kurt stepped into the room slowly, carefully. He tried to keep his tail as inanimate as possible, and conceal his fangs.

He's so gentle. And I hurt him so bad...on his birthday, no less.

"I wanted to thank you again for the watch," he said. "I needed one--Amanda must have told you."

"Aye...she did." Oh, God, I can't look at him. What do I say?

"We're about to watch a movie, if you'd like to join us. One of my favorites--Braveheart."

I can't go down there with all of them! "I don't think so. Thank you, but I'll stay up here for a while...I don't feel so well."

"Well, if you're sure...?"

"Yes...thank you..."

"Alright. If you get feeling better, please join us. It's not a complete party without you, Rahne." He politely turned and walked away.

He's so sweet. There has to be a way we can take care of this!

"Kurt--wait. I'm sorry I flinched back there at the table. I honestly don't know why I did it. I don't have anything at all against you-- I guess I just wasn't expecting it. It's not like I haven't seen you up close before, I just... I don't know."

"That's okay," he said meaningfully. He ws glad she brought it up-- he would never be so rude as to mention it himself. Not in a million years. "I can be over-affectionate sometimes, I guess. I like to act like the silver-tongued charmer too much. I didn't mean any harm."

"I know ye didn't," she replied, trying to emphasize that he was not to blame.

"Listen...I want you to know that I'm not offended. Really. I know that I don't have the looks of Sean Connery, so it only surprises me that this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time."

"No, you're not scary looking."

Kurt laughed hard but harmlessly at her comment. "Rahne, please. I'm blue and furry. I have fangs, pointed ears, three fingers, and this." He held up his pointed, prehensile tail. "All I lack are horns and a pitchfork!"

Now they both laughed, and Rahne was slightly more at ease. "Oh, I know you're no devil! Though I must confess, it did take me a while to get used to you. I'm sorry, I don't mean--"

"No need to apologize, liebchen. That's why I came up here. I don't want you to even think twice about it. I mean that."

"Well, alright. But I want you to know that I truly didn't mean any harm, and I have no idea why it happened."

"I believe you, Rahne. Wanna know a secret?"

"Sure...I think..."

"Amanda's done the very same thing-- more than a few times. And we've known each other a long, long time!"

"No!"

"Yes. It hurt me the first time, and we had a big fight over it. But we talked it out, and it's fine. It almost never happens, anymore. She and I are together so much, you know."

"Yes," said Rahne, trying not to think of just how together they had probably been.

"So don't feel bad about it, please. It might even happen again some day. It doesn't bother me so much if people react shocked by my features anymore. I know it doesn't mean I'm not handsome!"

He struck his best pose and Rahne giggled.

"So what do you say, Good Lady-- escort me to the rec room for a few hours of watching sword-wielding Scots?"

With a 'bamf!' they appeared in the rec room, throwing popcorn at their unsuspecting teammates.

"Death to the English!" shouted Kurt, pelting Brian with a handful.

"C'mon Mum," Rahne said, handing the bowl to Moira. "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"

Before long they were all on the floor, wrestling and spangled with buttery, salty kernels of popcorn, and laughing themselves silly.

~finis~