STAVES AGANST VILLANY 1/1 BY: Kevin "Ramiel" Schmidt Ramiel@subreality.com (Yes, the title is a bad Fritz Leiber pun.) DISCLAMIER: This story features various Marvel and DC characters, which are trademarks of their respective companies. This is an unauthorized work and no profit is being made on this work. This work is copyright of me. ARCHIVING: If you have carte blanche, please archive away. If you don't, and you still want it, just ask. If you want to Pop-Up or Mistie it, ask nicely and I may let you. FEEDBACK: Yes, please. I'll love you forever. The Thief and the Knight were at cross-purposes. The Thief had the edge of his bo staff pointed into the throat of the Knight, while the Knight had his own staff's tip pointing into the thief's chest. The Thief's eyes glowed red in the darkness. The eyes of the Knight were shielded by goggles. "You picked a bad night ta be folowin' me on a heist, boy." The Thief's accent was thick with a New Orleans drawl. "You picked a bad night to rob my dad's lab." The Knight's voice had a slight Baltimore accent and a somewhat annoyed yet serious tinge to it. The Thief smiled, "Guess it's jest a bad night all 'round, neh?" The Knight nodded, glancing upwards slightly. "I guess so. Hey, are you friends with a large bald man? Looks big enough to juggle a Buick." "Neh, you shouldn' be his frien' either. Tha' man be a killer." "Damn. More complications. Well hey, you know what they say." Gambit arched a brow. "No, what do they say?" "Duck." Gambit dropped down to his knees as Jack Knight lit the darkened area up with a blast of energy from his staff. The blast slammed into the man- mountain known as Blockbuster who had been trying to sneak up behind Gambit. The blast lifted the murderous mutant off his feet with a sizzling crackle and sent him flying backwards, crashing through the underbrush and ruined wood of the abandoned shack. "Lissen Knight, I'm not your enemy tonight. These folks are killers and apparently they want a bit of my hide too." "Double-crossed by the man you stole my father's Cosmic Belt from? I gave you one free save, why should I keep on being so nice?" "Cause I'm charmin'?" "Give me a better reason, Cajun." "You're a hero? Starman, right? And heroes don't leave poor defenseless, handsome, rogues to their dooms?" "You got me, I'm Starman. I guess I'm a hero. I guess it was the big star on my jacket and the glowing rod that gave it away right?" "Your rod's none of my business, but that blast you just let loose with was loud enough to wake the dead. There's more where Blockbuster came from and they're all killers. We get out of here and I'll help you steal the belt back." "Give me one reason to believe you." "Umm... Scout's Honor?" Starman shook his head and sighed. "What is it with all the gentleman rogues in this line of work?" "We don' do enough drugs to become computer programmers?" Starman offered Gambit his hand. "Come fly with me then, and if you double-cross me you're going straight to Opal City's jail." Gambit smiled and took Jack's hand. "Sure thi...WHOAH!" Jack Knight pulled the unprepared thief high into the Virginia night sky. They zoomed up from the abandoned mining camp where Jack had cornered Gambit ten minutes prior. The night had begun quietly enough, Jack was reading Irvine Walsh's latest book and contemplating taking in a movie or stopping in at Charity's to have his fortune read. Then came the call from his father, Ted Knight the first Starman. Something had been stolen, a belt using his cosmic technology. The same technology that fueled Jack's cosmic rod. Ted had interrupted the thief, a man in a long brown trenchcoat, with a series of energy blasts from a gun that he kept for self-defense. The thief left behind a clue though, a single Ace of Spades. Jack puzzled over the clue before taking it to his occasional ally, the Shade. The Shade was a shadowy, shadowy man with a mastery of the very shadows, a taste for fine wine, and the gift or curse of immortality. The Shade said he recognized the trademark and the description of the thief as both belonging to a Remy Lebeau. Someone the Shade supposedly had prior dealings with. Jack used his own Cosmic Rod to follow the energy signal of the Belt. That led him to this abandoned mining camp, Gambit, and the Marauder known as Blockbuster. All of which bring us to the present. Gambit kept his hand on Jack's shoulder so that the Cosmic Rod would keep them both aloft in the crisp Virginia night air. "I din' steal your daddy's belt." "Wait a second, Captain Charming. You said I caught you in the middle of a heist." Gambit frowned, looking rather sheepish. "Well, I was going to steal it, but someone got to it before me and..." "Wait. Someone stole the belt right before you did, left your calling card and bolted right before Dad caught you? I'd call this Hitchcockian, but he'd laugh at you. Half-cockian is more like it." Gambit shrugged. "That what happened, I follow the thief here as you apparently did and that pretty much brings you up to speed. Except for the Marauders. If they're here, den we've got serious problems." "Ok, suppose I believe you and don't file your story under "Mystery- Thriller Movie Plots for the Terminally Gullible. Who are these Marauders?" "A bunch of mercenaries and murderers. Problem is, they work for only one man. If he's the one who has your belt you're screwed." "We're screwed. We. You promised to get my belt back." "What makes you think I'm not lying?" "I'm not stupid, I know a bit about the X-Men. You're a hero. As much of one as I am if the rumors are true." "Don' believe every rumor you hear, boy." "Ok, then don't believe I won't drop you. Who is the person in that abandoned mine who has the belt then?" "A fellow by the name of Sinister." Jack mused over that for a second. "My belt was stolen by a reject Belle and Sebastian fan?" "Neh, this man t'ain't much for Disney flicks." Jack sighed and shrugged. "Anyway, you ready to help me get into that hill and get the belt?" Gambit sighed. "I haven't been looking forward to going up against him, but I guess it had to happen sooner or later." Starman angled down and dropped slowly from the clouds pulling Gambit. He tried to use only quick burst of the Cosmic Rod to slow their descent, hopefully escaping detection. The unlikely pair landed in some of the undergrowth near the mine entrance. Jack whispered to the thief. "So, Gambit. Are you a big Disney fan?" "Yeah, I can't wait for Mulan to hit video. I missed it in the theatres." "Really? Nice flick, but I preferred Beauty and the Beast myself. Why'd you miss Mulan?" "My girlfriend stranded me in Antartica." "Wow, mine just sent me into space. How'd you piss her off?" "Don' ask. Sounds like you, me and my friend Wisdom need to compare notes sometime." "Sounds like it. This Wisdom have luck with the ladies?" "Seen the "Blues Brothers", homme?" "Sure, classic flick with classic music. Ray Charles is, and will always be God." "Anyway. Picture a tall thin Jake." "Wouldn't that make him Elwood?" "Dosen' have Elwood's sense of humor. But he's got Jake's taste in women." "Ouch." The pair slipped into the mines from a side entrance nestled in scrub, debris, rock and a sheet of aluminum siding. Gambit, having better night vision, and being the expert thief, went first. As they descended deep into the mine, their conversation continued in whispered exchanges. "So, who hired you to steal dad's belt?" "Can't be sayin' dat, Jack." "Fair enough, honor among thieves I suppose." "Neh, I mean I really can't be saying it. I can't pronounce his name. It's something long and Latverian." "Ahh, gotcha. You know, Mr. Thief, I think I have the solution to your dating problems." "What dat be?" "Cop back in Opal. Name of Hope O'dare." "Cop, eh? We a perfect match or something?" "Nope. But the two of you would be funny as hell to watch." "Funny boy, Mr. Starman. O'dare, eh? She Irish?" "By ancestry, yes. Bright red hair, fierce temper. She'd kill you slowly after the first date." "Not my type. I'll give you the number of a friend of mine name of Wilson. She's his type for sure." "Gotcha." "Hey Jack." "What?" "You cook Kosher?" "Yes, once had a girlfriend from Baltimore, great lady, Jewish." "I'll fix you up with a teammate of mine then. Cute girl. Smart as hell. Seriously needs to get out more." "Why do you say that?" "Because if she don' start hanging out with real folks, she gonna start seeing a big Russian again. Trust me it won' be pretty." "Cute and Smart hmm? Well, I'm not seeing anyone exclusively right now. She's Jewish?" "Yup. And a Ninja." "..." "Exactly." The conversation, and their downward journey into darkness, was interrupted by a old, yet sturdy, wooden door. The door was locked. Gambit knelt down to pick the lock as Jack used his rod to shine a little light. The door splintering and shattering interrupted the Arcadian's work, flinging him backwards. Through the shattered doorway strode a woman in a metallic bodysuit followed by a woman with green hair. Jack dodged his flying partner and took aim with his staff, only to fall to the ground totally disoriented. "Poor little boy, fall down?" mocked the woman with the green hair. "Shut it and keep them woozy, tramp. We're here to put them down, not engage in witty banter." The woman in silver, Arclight, spoke in a harsh commanding voice to her green-haired partner, Vertigo Jack struggled on the ground next to Gambit. "Woah. no more tilt-a-whorl rides. I'm... dizzy..." "That's the point, you're dizzy, I'm Vertigo." Jack shook his head and clutched at his Cosmic Rod. "No. I'm Starman, Vertigo was a Hitchcock flick, and the rod targets by itself." A beam of light lanced from his staff and slammed into Vertigo bouncing her off the rocky ceiling. Arclight lashed out with a vicious kick to Jack's ribs, sending him flying and forcing him to curl up to protect his chest. The cave was lit by Gambit's charging a handful of cards. He sent them flying from close range into Arclight, dropping her like a ragdoll. Gambit helped Jack to his feet. They continued onwards, in silence this time, ready to deal with the Marauders. As Gambit stepped over Vertigo's unconscious form he turned to Jack, a worried look on his face. "Dis ain't right. The Marauders are killers. They're going down way too easy." "That and the fact that this Sinister guy is supposed to be such a threat. Why is this playing out like a Dungeons and Dragons game?" They carefully stepped through the door and into a brightly-lit lab with white walls and tiled floor. Surrounding them, were the rest of the Marauders. They were now in the center of the room, no doors in sight. A tall man dressed in black banded armor with chalk-white skin and single red diamond tattooed on his forehead turned to them. "Because it's a trap, Mr. Knight." "What the, where'd the mines go?" Jack readied himself against an attack as he looked around in confusion. He noted that Sinister was holding his father's Cosmic Belt in his hands. "He 'ported us Jack." Gambit fanned a series of glowing cards in front of him, keeping his Bo staff ready. "Tesseract Gate actually, Remy. You of all people should know better. Mr. Knight, we are currently at the bottom of the mines. I simply sped up your trip a bit. I grew weary of your witty conversation." Jack straightened, slipped his goggles over his eyes and held his Rod ready. "Me too. Getting a wee bit too Tarintinoesque for me. Sooner or later we would have started discussing Madonna and we would totally have lost our credibility." Jack pressed a button on his staff and the belt erupted with a blast of energy, forcing Sinister to drop it. With that, the battle was joined as Gambit charged the remaining Marauders with Starman at his side. "Jack, How'd you do that?" "Dad installed a failsafe so none of his devices could be used against me again." "Smart man." "The best." The Thief and the Knight stood against the murdering Marauders. The lab lit up with blasts and explosions. However, they were only two and they were tired. The Marauders were many and fresh, eagerly flinging themselves into the fray. Soon Jack fell bloodied to his knees beneath the onslaught, Sinister himself unleashing a series of blasts against the energy shield that protected him. Gambit dove across the floor, smearing blood from one of his wounds across the bright white tile. He desperately grabbed for the belt, wrapping his fingers around it and pulling it close, as Harpoon, one of the Marauders, grabbed his ankle. Gambit smiled and charged the belt. Sinister turned and bellowed, his teeth sharpening into little razor points. "Lebeau, you fool! Do you realize what that will do?" "Blow us all to kingdom come, neh?" "I believe, Mr. Lebeau. That the explosion could be measured in megatons." Gambit's poker face never changed. "Maybe I finally got sick of you pushing me around, Sinister." Harpoon let go of the Cajun's ankle and backed up slowly as Sinister frowned, his eyes glowing with a cold rage. "You are learning, Gambit. Keep it up and you might have a future on this world. Give my regards to Sarah." "Damn you, Essex." Sinister smiled, "To coin a phrase, my dear friend, "Been there. Done that."" With that, the Knight and the Thief found themselves back in the cold, darkened tunnel, the only light coming from Jack's Rod and the charged belt. The duo were briefly stunned by their vanishing opponents. Jack scratched his head, "Did I miss something? We were dancing with Sinny and his Goons, and then." "...we won, Jack, mes brave." "Damn it, Gambit! The belt!" Gambit tossed the belt to the far side of the now empty cave. It exploded with a flash and a brief shower of dust and pebbles. He then reached into his coat and tossed the Cosmic Belt to Jack. "See, mon ami. I charged my coat's belt `stead of de Cosmic Belt." Jack wiped the dirt and grime from his face. "Pretty smooth, Gambit." "Please, its Remy to my friends." Jack smiled. "What, we save the world together and now we're suddenly friends?" Remy fished a Kamel Red out of his coat and charged its tip, lighting it. "What if I buy you a beer when we get back to Opal City?" Jack smiled and lit the tunnel out with his rod. "That might just work." "I'm wondering about that tesseract bit. When we got zapped, your Mister Sinister actually teleported us out of here and into his base, somewhere else? " "That's exactly what I'm thinking." "So, what was the whole point of this exercise? It was like he was just playing with us." "Looked to me, like he was interested in you more than the belt." "Great, just what I need. Some other pale freak to dance with." "Speaking of dancing, you still interested in the girl?" In another place some time later, Mr. Sinister, who once went by the name Nathaniel Essex, sipped disinterestedly at a glass of 40-year-old brandy. He had experiments waiting and a meeting with a potential ally to attend to, but for the moment he was content to watch the moon and feel the wind's attempt to chill his skin. His gaze did not shift from the heavens when he felt a presence behind him on the patio of this safehouse. He simply gestured to the second glass of brandy he had prepared for his guest. "Well thank you, Dr. Essex." "My distinct pleasure Mr. Black." The Shade smiled and took up the brandy glass with his graceful pale hand. He sniffed at the drink and took a sip. "Not bad, you may enjoy a rather garish wardrobe but at least you have good taste in the finer things." Sinister turned to his guest. "Not taste. Not really, I merely do these things out of habit. The scent, the flavor is lost on my. reconfigured senses." The Shade grinned and leaned on his cane, taking another sip. "More's the pity. Here I was going to invite you over some night for quail mousse." "We, could, Mr. Black, banter all night, but I am busy. Why are you here?" "Why do you think I'm here? You have your minions attack my city and my chosen champion? I'm hoping you have a good explanation." "Or?" The Shade sighed, "Or I'll be forced to act the part of the vengeful villain and engage you in combat which will be long and violent and in the end pointless." A glimmer of a smile crossed Sinister's features. "Just like London all those years ago." The Shade laughed, a short birdlike sound. "Just like, but without the Mad Gods, the Lightning and the Hellfire." "To appease your curiosity, Mr. Black; I engaged your protage Mr. Knight in order to discover if he was a Mutant. The was a rumbling about that at times he dreamt the future like the Dodds fellow." "And, like the Dodds fellow, you discovered he wasn't one of your Essex Factor endowed characters?" "Exactly. So he is of little interest to me." The Shade emptied his glass. "Are you sure that was the only reason? Perhaps you felt the need to spar with someone who didn't have a large X painted somewhere on their spandex-clad form." Mr. Sinister's almost-grin didn't leave his pale sculpted face. "The very idea." The shadows flickered and Sinister was alone with a fine liquor, the cold wind, and the light of the moon. -- Kevin "Ramiel" Schmidt sphinx@bright.net *** gladiusdei@yahoo.com