DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. Hint: if I did, Kitty wouldn't be a college, and Pete would be alive. They'd also be together—okay, no offense, I used to be hooked on the kurtty stuff, but I read a couple of fics, and am now a convert, utterly. They're just so perfect together... sigh. Oh, and I will always love you is Dolly Parton's. I think. Anyway, she sings the version I know. And here we go...
 

It was dark out, and clouds covered the stars and what moon there might or might not be. She wasn't sure; she'd lost track of days... after remembering what had happened two years ago sometime last week. She'd just been walking towards class... somebody had shouted a name... and she'd stopped. She dimly remembered her friends asking her if she was all right, then finally panicking and calling for help. Before anyone else had got there, though, she'd found herself sitting on the hill, dew soaking her legs, tears soaking her face. It didn't matter that she hated crying in public, especially when she couldn't even tell people who, let alone what, she was crying about. She couldn't remember how she got back to her room, but that where she was, where she'd been for some time, though she didn't really know how long. She was sitting by the window now, probably in the same grungy clothes she'd had on when... when she'd remembered what... what happened...

Now she sat, staring up at the dark sky, sobbing her heart out. She didn't know where all the tears had come from; she would have thought that she'd have run out by now. But no, no matter how long she cried, the tears couldn't mend her broken heart. That was the problem; nothing could, because the only person who could have helped was... was dead. She sobbed anew, lying on the cold floor, clutching the item she'd found in her coat pocket. It wasn't all that cold—temperature wise—in the area she was going to college in, so she hadn't worn them very often, and rarely had to put her hands in pockets. For some reason—maybe because her subconscious knew it was there—she had, when she was sitting there crying.

So she sat there and cried, twisting the black silky tie around her fingers, staining it with tears that rolled down the cheek it was pressed against. A hand on her shoulder didn't make a difference. It was one of her friends checking on her, but it didn't matter. Her grades shouldn't suffer for it—grades! What the hell did grades matter? He was dead, just dead, and there wasn't anything she could do about it, but if she'd been there, maybe there would have been... There should have been... would have been... and if she'd never been such a jerk, he wouldn't have left, and he'd still be alive, and he'd be with her, and she wouldn't be crying, and... she sobbed afresh.

The music kept playing, rolling endlessly through it's selection of CDs... one of her friends had clicked it on for her, probably, or maybe she had, she couldn't remember. Dimly, she was aware of someone standing behind her, unsure of what to do. The song played anyway; it didn't care if she wanted it to or not, didn't care if it was a good song or a bad song for right now... It played anyway.

If I should stay
Well I would only
Be in your way.
And so I'll go
And yet I know
That I'll think of you
Each step of my way.
And I
Will always love you.
Will always love you.
Bittersweet
Memories
That's all I have
And all I'm takin with me.
Goodbye.
Oh please don't cry.
Cause we both know
That I'm, not what
You need.
But I will always love you.
I will always love you.
And I hope I
Will treat you kind
And I hope that
You have all
That you ever dreamed of.
Oh I do wish you joy.
And I wish you happiness
But above all gifts
I wish you love.
I love you.
I will always love you.
I,
I will always always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.

"Luv," she could almost hear the familiar voice behind her, "luv, please don't. Stop it, luv, don't cry, come on, Kit, please." If only it was real... the hand on her shoulders shook, interrupting her melancholy dreaminess.

"Go away," she moaned, wishing that she could pretend it was real forever, that it was really him, wanting to hear his voice one more time, just one...

"Kitty, come on, I'm sorry, wotever I did, I'm sorry, just stop cryin' Kit, please."

"Wasn't you," she sobbed to herself, "it wasn't you. Pete, I'm so so sorry... come back, oh I wish you were real... please... sorry... Pete, oh please..."

"Kitty luv..." This time the shaking couldn't be denied. Oh, God, she could smell the cigarette smoke, his cheap cologne, everything. She sobbed again, knowing that she couldn't be in more pain if her heart had been forcibly removed from her chest, wishing desperately that Excalibur had never broken up, that she was still... that Pete was... that they were... She could feel his arms around her, feel his hands in her hair, soothing her, whispering sweet words in her ears. She clung to him, wishing that he wouldn't go away this time when she woke up, knowing that he would. That knowing made it worse. She couldn't even enjoy her dreams, knowing he would leave as soon as her eyes opened.

She couldn't resist, it was just too real. She knew it would only make it hurt worse when she woke up, but she couldn't help it, she didn't want to... but she did... crying, she opened her eyes and waited for the fantasy/nightmare to dissolve into tears again. It didn't. She could actually see the white shirt she was crying on, could still feel him cradling her. It wasn't fair, wasn't fair at all, she wanted so much to make it right, to run to him, to say she was sorry, to make everything perfect again...

"Kitty, luv, stop crying. Please. Wotever it was, I'm sorry, luv. If I'd know it would 'urt you I would never 'ave done it, please don't cry, luv, come on. At least tell me wot I did." His voice was pained, sad as hers, trying to make everything right again. Oh, if only she could!

"You... got killed! Oh, Pete..."

"Wot? Luv, come on, it's alright, really. I'm 'ere, I'm fine. Don't cry, please! C'mon," he was trying to be humorous now, "yer pals do it all the time."

"Oh if only you would... I'd be so happy! Oh, I wish, I wish..."

"Wish wot? Luv..."

"Wish you were alive, wish you were real! I love you, oh, I wish..." The kiss felt real, very real. She could taste it, feel his lips on hers. She broke away, sobbing, wishing it were real. "I hope I never wake up..." she whispered to herself, wishing this oh-so-real dream would last forever.

She sat there, crying in his arms for a moment or so, then felt someone pinch her arm. "No!" she cried, not wanting to wake up... but when she opened her eyes, he was still there... she looked at him... an eye-patch? What was that doing there... He looked older, too... She blinked again... again...

"Sorry, luv, it's really me." He gave her a quirky smile.

For what seemed an eternity, she just sat there, barely breathing. She saw his smile fade, become forced, could almost hear him thinking 'oh, shit,' that he'd screwed up. She just stared at him, then suddenly flung herself back into his arms with a joyful cry.

"Pete!"