First Night of the Rest of Your Life
T.W. Lewis

Http://www.geocities.com/gardendoor
Gardendoor@yahoo.com


Disclaimers:  This story is set in an alternate reality suggested by Excalibur #103, trying to explain why the Earth 616 Exaclibur in that issue were the only ones fighting their situation when all the others were complacent.  All the Marvel characters unfortunately belong to Marvel.  Yeah, I know Pope Pius XII has a lot to answer for where the Holocaust is concerned, but there were also nuns and priests who risked their lives either directly resisting the Nazis or indirectly by sheltering Jews or helping them escape.  Much thanks to Luba Kmetyk for her lovely beta; all remaining flaws are my own.  


The church's high ceilings arched overhead, fretted with a rush of painted angels peering down as though from the top of a well, but Kitty's nervous fear made it difficult for her to appreciate the artistry.  She was not the only 'supplicant' here, but at thirteen, she was certainly the youngest.

The other supplicant, a blonde woman dressed in vinyl and platform shoes, struggled against the priests who pinned her arms.  Kitty fiercely wished she could do the same, but didn't dare.  The priests who had taken her from her home had warned her that if she resisted their authority, if she used her awakening powers to escape them, they would take it as a sign of her wickedness, and insure that her parents could spawn no more evil children.  Even if Kitty had been sure of how to control the power that had sent her plummeting through the ceiling of the living room, she knew she couldn't reach home in time to save her parents.  The blonde had either not been warned or else didn't care, for she screamed, "Let go of me!  You can't treat people like this!"

"To the contrary, Miss Blaire, as you will soon discover, there is no limit to our authority over you."  A cardinal in full regalia sat in a wheelchair, pushed by a -- a creature dressed like a priest!  The thing looked like every demon Kitty had ever seen in a late-night horror flick, except blue instead of red.  Slanted yellow eyes, sharp fangs, even a pointed tail that writhed as the creature walked.  Even its hands and feet were monstrous.  What was it doing here?  But the creature caught her horrified gaze and its face showed such anguish at her reaction.  She couldn't even begin to know what to make of all this.

"I am Cardinal Xavier," said the man in the wheelchair.  "We have brought you here because you are unique, burdened by unnatural abilities.  We are here to determine whether your hearts and your actions will redeem you, make you worthy of the protection and guidance of the Church, or whether you are irredeemable sinners."

Cardinal Xavier moved closer to them and spoke gently, but his voice seemed to echo persuasively in Kitty's head.  "Let me be clear: the United States, like the rest of the world's governments, considers your kind a menace, and will not be content until this threat is neutralized.  Only the Vatican has created any sort of refuge for mutants, and under the Constitution's separation of Church and State, the government cannot prevent us from seeking you out and offering you a chance to redeem yourself in God's eyes.  This is not a choice between God and your former life.  This is a choice between God and extermination.  Now tell me honestly -- for I will know if you lie -- will you submit to our authority or no?"

The blonde, Allison, smiled coquettishly.  “Sure, I don't want any trouble.  I'll do whatever you say."

Xavier shook his head. "Ms. Blaire, I warned you that lying me would be worse than useless.  Even if there were somewhere you could flee to as you hope, your rebellious escape would endanger my children here, and that I cannot permit."  He reached out for her, his face grim.

"No!" Allison Blaire yelled as she struggled against the guards.  The air around her began to sparkle and glow with energy, and all of a sudden, the air was full of blinding fireworks.  The louder Allison screamed, the brighter the fireworks seemed to flash.  "Let me go!  Let me go!"  

Xavier caressed her cheek and, despite her hatred and fear, Alison's face went blank and dumb.  The fireworks vanished, leaving blind spots to dazzle Kitty's eyes.  Allison was on her knees, though the priests no longer held her. Xavier nodded to them.  "Take her out to the cleansing squad."

As the priests led the now placid blonde out of the room, Xavier turned his attention to Kitty.  "Miss Pryde."  Despite her terror, Kitty met his gaze.  "I realize it is hard to make a true vow under such duress.  But I must have your decision.  Be honest, for I will know whether your words match your thoughts."

Kitty thought hard, trying to find some way to honestly placate this man who was prepared to kill her and her parents.  She wanted to cry, but when she opened her mouth, she was relieved to find her voice didn't even shake.  "I can't.  You're calling me a sinner for something I can't control, you're going to kill me and my family, and you want me to serve you?  I'm not even Christian."  She waited, her stomach crawling, hoping it didn't hurt when he wiped her personality.

Xavier didn't seem disappointed, nor did he try to seem more paternal or persuasive.  Instead, his eyes gleamed like Kitty had just outwitted him in chess, forcing him to play a better strategy than usual.  "During the Holocaust, many priests and nuns risked their lives to shelter Jewish children under the Church's aegis.  I'm offering you sanctuary and a chance to devote your life and your talents to public service.  While I hope in time that you will find your way to Our Lord, the Church will not require you to convert.  You would be part of the Order of St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, a Jew like yourself who lived her life in the Church.  I ask you again: will you allow the devil to tempt you through gifts of power, or will you dedicate that power to a greater good?"

Kitty looked at him, considering.  His sharp, approving smile, the gleam in his eyes when she told him what she really thought of him ... he wasn't a fanatic or a mindless bureaucrat.  But working for the Catholic Church made her feel weird.  She might not be an observant Jew, but she was still a Jew.  Most of her friends growing up were Christians, but her Hebrew school had told her all sorts of stories of the blood libels, how the Church had blamed the Jews for everything from unsolved kidnappings to the Black Plague, sending bloodthirsty mobs into the Jewish ghettos.  She wasn't sure she could work for the institution that had let that happen.

She didn't want to die.  Nothing he was suggesting was really that far from what she originally wanted to do with her life, using her brain, her gifts, to make technology that would help people.  She just didn't like being forced into it.  "What would I have to do?"

"Father Wagner will take you where you need to go," he said, indicating the demon-priest.

"What about my parents?  Can I see them?"

"Not at first."

"Now wait a minute-"

He held up a hand and she froze, remembering what had happened to Allison, but it was only a casual gesture.  "Please understand, Katherine, one of the ways we convince the government to let us shelter mutants is to assure them that we will not let mutants run loose until they are fully trained.  I understand how hard it must be, and I promise you, you will see your parents again.  But first you must learn to control your powers, and that will take time.  Please."

Warily, she nodded, but kept out of reach.

Her parents had sternly told her never to stare at people who looked different, so Kitty fixed her eyes as firmly as possible on her shoes as Father Wagner led her out of the room.  She followed him down a corridor to a supply room where a stern-faced nun handed her an armload of shifts, a habit, a wimple, even regulation underwear, for crying out loud!

"I think you will like the other girls," said Father Wagner in a soft German tenor.  "And Cardinal Xavier is a very good man."

"He killed that girl!" Kitty snapped, meeting his yellow eyes in a flash of anger, "He could have killed me!"

Wagner shook his head.  "The government would have killed her, or a frenzied mob.  At least Cardinal Xavier took her pain and fear away.  His dream is that someday we mutants may live in peace with normal humans, and the best way to further that is within the Church, putting our gifts to good use, proving we mean no harm.  With every rogue mutant like her, with every mutant who uses their abilities to manipulate or steal or destroy, our cause loses ground, and we gain another ten years of mobs and frenzied violence against mutants."

He stopped at a thick oak door.  "These are the women's dorms.  Sister Ororo will see to you."  He hesitated a moment, then said, "I remember my first night here.  Though the Cardinal saved my life by bringing me here, though I had nothing to go back to, still I cried my first night away from home.  If you are in need of anything..."

Kitty was back to looking at her shoes, trying not to gawk at his odd, three-toed feet and the long tail.  "I'm fine," she said.

The first door in the women's dorm hall was open, and a tall, charismatic black woman with blue cat-eyes smiled at Kitty.  "You must be the new girl, Katherine Pryde.  Cardinal Xavier told me you were coming."

"Kitty," she corrected, confused at how Xavier had managed to call ahead when there was no phone in the room.

The room was probably supposed to be austere, with its cramped stone walls and narrow bed, but the walls crawled with ivy and spider plants, and a veritable rainforest hung in pots from the ceiling by the window, making the air steamy and fragrant.  "I am Sister Ororo," said the black woman.  "Let me show you to your room."  None of the other doors in the hallway were completely closed, and as they passed, Ororo introduced Kitty to a woman named Jean and a shy girl Kitty's age named Rahne, and a little girl named Illyana who kept putting her thumb in her mouth and trying to cajole a cookie out of Ororo.  Kitty's room was just past Illyana's, small and austere.  "We are discouraged from having too many worldly things in our rooms; too many possessions distract us from God.  But if you have a hobby such as sewing or woodcarving, feel free to make things for yourself or your friends."

Sewing or woodcarving?  Was she kidding?  Kitty didn't think she could last five minuets without a computer.  And what about dance?  These robes were not meant for ballet.  But Ororo was still speaking.  "...We hold joint classes, meals, and prayers with the men, but let me make this plain to you right now, as we do things very differently here than in the outside world: the men here are your brothers.  Your behavior and your thoughts should reflect that, whether or not you choose to take holy orders.  Is that clear?"

"Uh-huh," Kitty agreed, looking longingly out of the corner of her eye at the bright sunlight outside her narrow window.  She was a prisoner.

***

Kitty had been at Saint Catherine's only a few hours when she discovered every activity was marked by bells.  Bells, in this day and age, when everyone had a perfectly good wristwatch!  Bells signaled the time for prayers, which she had to attend even if she wasn't Christian.  Her initial discomfort was replaced by simmering annoyance when she learned that the prayer-bells would also be rung in the middle of the night.  Bells marked dinner, where she met the other students: Ororo and Jean sat at the high table with Xavier, a thin monk wearing odd red glasses, and a gigantic monk covered with blue fur.  There were also two tables set below the platform.  At one, Kitty sat with Rahne, who Kitty quickly decided was a superstitious ninny (With great satisfaction, Kitty pulled her Jewish star out of her robes and elicited cries of horror from the girl), and Illyana, who was great fun, but after all, less than seven years old.  Kitty kept shooting envious glances at the second table, where a teenage boy kept trying
to surreptitiously freeze Father Wagner's soup and bread, while Illyana's older brother, who wore novitiate's robes, scowled at them.

Then her ears caught that precious word, 'computer', from the high table, "--Overloaded.  A mere error I could deal with, but the innards are actually scorched.  It will take weeks to repair the misbegotten--"

"What sort of system is it?"  Kitty asked, excited.  Every conversation in the room stopped dead, and everyone stared at her.

Finally the enormous blue monk who had been complaining adjusted his glasses to look at her and replied, "This is not a Macintosh, young lady.  The contraption is a system of my own invention, specifically calibrated for the specifications of my research.  If you want to play solitaire, look elsewhere."

"I design computers from scratch," Kitty retorted, "I was taking classes at the University before I came here.  I bet I could fix it."

The blue monk gave her a more careful scrutiny.  Finally, he said, "The third door past the kitchens after Matins.  Don't be late."

***

That night she lay alone on the unyielding pallet, thinking miserably of her parents.  Did they miss her?  Or were they too busy fighting over whose fault her powers were to care whether they ever saw her again?

Xavier frightened her.  Rahne annoyed her.  This place was a prison.  What did it matter if she could walk through walls, when there was nowhere to go?  For the first time since her powers emerged, she actually felt claustrophobic.

Bells rang for the midnight devotionals, and Kitty wiped her eyes, braced herself to go stand for prayers to a God that wasn't hers.  But he had said 'after Matins', after Matins she could lose herself in the guts of a computer, forget everything in the delicious interplay of hardware and software.  It would have to be enough to carry her to morning.

End.