Title: Broken Angels 5

Author: lilithangel

Website: www.livejournal.com/users/lilithbint

Fandom: AtS

Pairing/characters: Angel/Spike, Connor and the rest of the AtS gang

Genre: hurt/comfort

Disclaimer: They belong to all of us now.  Not making money off this.

A/N: the mending of what is broken. Because I cannot remember where I have posted this before and because it has been awhile here is a link to the previous chapters, http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=lilithbint&keyword=Broken&filter=all

* * * * *

They took Spike back to Angel's apartment stopping at Willies on the way to pick up blood for the injured blond.

Spike said very little during the journey his head resting in Connor's lap, too tired to speak. Angel kept quiet; disturbed by his reaction to finding Spike his mind whirling with thoughts.

Connor was happy now that his family was back together; he held Spike carefully in the back seat as Angel drove. Once he was satisfied that none of Spike's wounds were life threatening he settled down content with the body contact.

Angel carried Spike inside and placed him on the bed, without prompting Connor gathered up towels and filled a bowl of water for Angel to clean Spike's wounds. Angel quickly divested Spike of his jeans while Connor's back was turned and covered the blond with a sheet.

Angel winced as he washed the blood from Spike's torso revealing the symbols carved there and the other wounds the First had inflicted on Spike.

"Bit of blood and they will soon disappear," Angel said confidently, "we'll start you on bagged blood..." Angel stammered embarrassed by his reaction the last time Spike had fed from him.

Connor warmed blood for Spike and Angel and made a sandwich for his own consumption curling up at the end of the bed to eat.

Angel quickly bandaged the worst of Spike's wounds and drank his own cup of blood.

"Will you be alright here alone with Spike for a while?" he asked Connor, "I want to get Spike's coat and say goodbye to everyone."

"Sure," Connor answered between bites waving Angel away, "I'll look after him dad."

Angel turned and smiled at Connor from the doorway still unused to terms of endearment from Connor and loving the spontaneity of the words.

"Thanks son," Angel left with a spring to his step that belied how tired he really was.

Connor helped Spike drink the blood and then warmed him some more making him finish it all before rinsing out the mugs.

"You need more blood," Connor fretted, "better than that stuff in the bag."

"No," Spike shook his head, "not going to do it."

"You took Angel's," Connor challenged.

"He is my sire," Spike countered.

"We're family," Connor frowned and took up a knife. He paused for a moment before settling on his wrist and slicing through the flesh.

He held the wound up to Spike's mouth, "don't waste it you need it," he told the blond.

Spike resisted for a moment but the heady smell of family blood in his weakened state was too tempting.

The pain of the knife was nothing to the first sensations of Spike taking his blood. It was sharp and deep and evoked a fierceness inside him that he had not felt since clawing his way out of Quor- toth.

He fought the impulse to pull his arm free and slowly the pain dulled as a sweet lassitude swept over his body except for his groin where the pain had coalesced into hard desire.

Spike had pulled Connor close as he fed and their limbs were now entwined keeping Connor's clothed body pressed tight against his own and making it impossible for him to hide his arousal.

It also made it obvious that Spike was aroused too. Spike's rhythmic sucking of the blood at Connor's wrist caused the boy to writhe against Spike's arousal with his own. Lost in the feeding Spike pressed back against Connor seeking stimulation for his own cock.

The intensity of feelings shot their way through Connor's body leaving him weak and shaking as his release spilled. A feeling of peaceful happiness sufficed his sated limbs and Connor let himself fall into the welcoming darkness.

The boy's release flooded his blood with the taste of pleasure and Spike was tipped over into orgasm without really knowing it had happened but it was enough to bring the vampire back to his senses and let him hear the weakening heartbeat so close to him.

Spike reared back as clarity returned and he realised what he was doing.

"Oh no little brother," he said as Connor collapsed weakly against his body, "this is a very bad thing. Your father will never forgive me, I will never forgive me."

Ignoring his own wounds Spike laid the boy down on the bed and went to fetch him water to drink and set a pot on the stove to heat up some soup he found there, all the time berating himself for what he had done.

"Could have killed him... stupid William... hurt the boy... bad bad man," Spike lifted Connor's head up and coaxed him to drink the water. Connor opened his eyes and smiled at Spike sleepily, Spike could not hold back an answering smile. Connor's blood coursed through his body adding strength and clarity. Spike could taste Connor's pain, joy and lust and deep at the back he could taste Angel adding guilt to the thoughts that were washing away the madness from Spike's mind.

* * * * *

Angel stood again outside Buffy's house unsure of his welcome and uncertain of what he was going to say when he went inside.

He could sense many of the potentials in there as well as the Scoobies and Giles. It would make it harder to say what he had to say and find out what he needed but he was determined to get it done and get out of Sunnydale as quickly as possible.

He wanted to take his boys home. His boys... it didn't feel strange to think that way anymore, it was the truth of the matter. His boys had been hurt, not only by him, and Angel was determined to make things right for all of them.

Buffy opened the door at his knock, she looked tired but determined and Angel finally believed that she would be alright.

"I've come to say goodbye," Angel said awkwardly.

Buffy nodded solemnly, "are you taking Spike with you?" she asked him.

"Yes, it is not healthy for him here and Connor likes him," Angel looked guilty at the mention of his son.

Buffy's face saddened but there was acceptance there as well, "do you want to come in?"

Angel shook his head, "I need to get back to them, Spike is injured quite badly. I was just wondering... do you know what happened to his leather coat?"

Buffy blushed at the question, "he left it here... I'll go get it for you," she volunteered without explaining why she hadn't destroyed it.

Angel waited on the porch for Buffy to return he could see several giggling potentials peering at him from behind the curtains and he shifted uncomfortably.

Xander chased the girls away from the window and then came outside to where Angel was standing.

"Are you planning on coming back anytime soon?" he asked Angel bluntly.

Angel looked at the male Scooby who was not even trying to hide his hostility towards Angel.

Angel stifled a sigh, "no I'm not Xander," he answered calmly, "We need to get home."

"We," the boy sneered, "off to play happy families are you?"

"Yes," Angel answered his temper getting shorter, "as best we can. Connor and Spike deserve that and so do I," Angel realised as he said it that it was true and he smiled at Xander who stepped back with suspicion.

"Look after them Xander," Angel indicated inside, "they need someone to keep them grounded."

Xander blinked in surprise, Angel's unexpected words taking the wind out of much of his righteous indignation.

Buffy returned before Xander could say anything. Handing over the black leather coat Buffy reached up and kissed Angel chastely on the cheek.

Angel hugged Buffy close, inhaling her scent one last time trying to imprint the feeling of her strong arms before he let her go.

"Take care Angel," Buffy smiled sadly as he released her and turned to go, "look after him," she added.

Angel nodded without turning around again and left quickly, he wanted to get back to his family.

* * * * *

Angel could smell cum as soon as he entered the apartment and his face hardened with suspicion when he found Connor lying in the bed on top of Spike a bandage on his wrist.

Spike stared at Angel without saying anything letting him take in the scene completely.

Restraining himself from leaping to conclusions Angel looked closer. Both were wearing sweats, Connor was breathing and obviously asleep, Spike was looking a lot healthier and there was clarity to his gaze that Angel had not seen for a while. His eyes were wary and tired but there was a hint of defiance there.

"What happened?" he asked quietly not hiding the menace.

"Boy offered me his blood," Spike answered, "tried not to drink but was too weak to resist. Got hard and so did he, dry humped until we both came."

Spike's answer was so typically Spike that Angel had to smile startling the blond who had expected a much more violent response.

Suddenly weary Angel stripped down to boxers and pushed Connor over in the narrow bed, "sleep," he ordered Spike, "We will discuss this further later."

Spike watched Angel carefully expecting a greater reaction. When Angel simply closed his eyes Spike began to relax.

* * * * *

Connor awoke to find he was sandwiched between Spike and Angel his head cradled against his father's shoulder and his body entwined with Spike's again.

Spike had one hand curled around Angel's forearm and Angel's spare hand was threaded through Spike's unruly curls.

It felt like the perfect place to be so he simply snuggled back down, his own body warmth was countered by the cooler temperature of the vampires and made him feel safe.

He remembered what had occurred with Spike earlier and was grateful that the blond had made him clean up and change before Angel got back.

He didn't feel guilty about what had happened, he didn't really understand it but feeling Spike drink from him had felt right on some deep level and had strengthened the bond he felt for his father at the same time.

Connor had felt awkward at first not sure where to look embarrassed by his response to Spike's feeding. Spike had smiled and indicated his own state without shame.

Holtz had never told him about sex or desires, making him channel all his feelings into training and fighting. Spike on the other hand had accepted it all as natural, not condemning or encouraging just understanding.

Connor had not known how Angel would react but the fact that he was sleeping in the bed with them eased his worry somewhat.

If he was honest Connor wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was not used to arousal but it felt good and he liked feeling good.

This was home.

* * * * *

Angel awoke in the night with a cry, the stress of recent days finally catching up with him. Nightmare visions of being at the mercy of the demons, watching them take Spike and Connor over and over again while he was helpless to stop it.

He had not cried out but Spike had woken up and was gently stroking his hair while he came back to himself. One finger carefully wiped the tears from Angel's face but the understanding in the blond's eyes was enough to set Angel off again.

Spike simply wiped those tears away as well and then let his hand drop to Angel's arm keeping the contact as they fell back to sleep again.

* * * * *

Angel and Connor were both up when Spike woke, Connor was finishing a sandwich and Angel was heating some more blood.

Looking at the domestic scene Spike felt a deep calm envelope him. Here was the feeling of home he had been searching for since Dru dumped him and he had come back to Sunnydale.

He had hated Angel for a long time, ever since their encounter in the Sunnydale high school. After the reappearance of Angelus the hatred had been complete.

When Spike got his soul back it did not change the way he felt about the things that Angel had done but when his madness was at its worst it was Angel that Spike was drawn to.

Finding Angel the way he did, tending the older vampire's wounds hearing his nightmares. These things had shown Spike through the confusion of his madness that Angel could understand.

Befriending Connor helped kept the disturbed vampire claw his way back to some degree of sanity. Coming back to Sunnydale had been another step. Now he wasn't sure what was going to happen but he had family again.

Two sets of eyes looked at Spike as he climbed out of bed and two identical smiles of welcome greeted the blond.

Angel offered Spike a mug of blood and Spike sat down next to Connor. He grabbed Connor's hand and checked the wound at his wrist with a small frown.

"Shouldn't have let me do that little brother," Spike scolded mildly.

"No," Angel agreed with a frown of his own, "in Spike's weakened state he could have taken too much."

"I trusted him dad, I knew he wouldn't hurt me," Connor replied licking jelly from his fingers.

Angel softened and the sound of the word dad from Connor, still amazed at the ease at which the endearment fell from his son's lips now. Then he noticed Spike's attention to those same lips and the frown came back.

Spike blinked and tried to shake the image of Connor's lips doing something else to him. He noticed Angel's frown and returned his attention to his mug of blood.

It had to be the pain and blood loss coupled with the power of Connor's blood that was making those images in his mind, Spike had never had any interest in men before and now here he was lusting after father and son.

Spike's eyes widened as the thought registered properly. Angel's eyes narrowed as he smelt Spike's arousal levels rise.

"Connor," Angel made a quick decision, "will you go around to Willy's and pick up some more blood for the journey back. I think it would be best if all our own blood stayed where it is now."

Connor looked at Angel curiously but agreed still curious about the town that had made such a big impact on his family.

When Connor left Spike sat upright in his chair and looked directly at Angel.

"Tell me again what happened last night?" Angel asked dangerously.

"Just what I told you," Spike replied warily, "boy gave me his blood we got aroused, humped each others legs and got off. Made him get cleaned up and changed, told him it was a natural reaction and didn't mean anything."

"Did it mean something to you Spike?" Angel demanded.

Spike dropped his eyes for a moment then look back at Angel, confusion anger and pain warring for dominance in his gaze.

"Meant I was loved," he replied, "someone gave me something without any other motive except helping me. The boy's been there for me, protected me and talked to me," the words began to pour out; "Often he was the only thing that stopped me greeting the sun when the soul screamed the loudest. Touched me with care and love, bin a long time since anyone touched me with love," he finished sadly.

Spike's words hit Angel hard and he realised they could apply to Connor as easily as Spike and his rage bled away leaving only confusion.

"Did... did you kiss him?" Angel stammered.

"No," Spike replied indignantly.

"You were looking at his lips," Angel accused.

"And you were looking at mine," Spike retaliated.

"So?"

"Do you want to kiss me?" Spike threw back.

"Yes," Angel confessed to both their surprise, "do you want to kiss me?"

Spike licked his suddenly dry lips and carefully considered the question. He took so long that Angel began to shift uncomfortably in his seat certain he had pushed too hard.

Spike moved slowly over to Angel and touched his face. The contact was soft and unexpected. Angel met his gaze and lent into the caress.

"Bin a long time since anyone touched you with love either," the blond commented with his usual perception, "so broken... can we mend each other?" Spike moved in and kissed Angel gently.

Tentatively Angel reached up and cupped the back of Spike's head pulling him closer keeping the kiss going.

It wasn't perfect, teeth clashed and noses got in the way as with every first kiss. But as the two became accustomed to the sensation of kissing another man only the kiss mattered.

Lips were just as soft, hands were stronger but just as tentative to touch. Spike ended up straddling Angel's lap as they tried to get as close as possible.

Angel's hands ran down Spike's naked back brushing over the still too prominent ribs to settle at his narrow waist.

Spike's hands flexed on Angel's shoulders, kneading the flesh unconsciously as their hips ground together.

Both were aroused now moving against each other increasing the stimulation.

Finally Spike pulled back from the kiss reluctantly, "don't want to cum in my pants again," he grinned then his face fell when he saw the look on Angel's face.

Angel cursed his upbringing and the demons that had raped him for the look of betrayal on Spike's face when he flinched away from the comment.

"Spike," Angel stopped the younger vampire from pulling away, "I want to... god knows I want to but... I'm not ready," he confessed, "I don't want this to go wrong, not what is happening with you and not what is happening with Connor."

Spike looked carefully at Angel the madness slipping from his eyes as he saw the truth in Angel's.

Angel pulled Spike back and kissed him again, "can we take this slow?"

Spike nodded in agreement and stood up, "should probably get dressed then."

Angel watched as Spike unselfconsciously slipped out of the sweatpants and pulled on his jeans. The sight of the slender naked form almost enough for Angel to regret his request to wait but the still visible scars on Spike's torso reminded Angel of what they had all gone through.

Spike looked wryly at Angel as he realised he did not have a shirt to wear.

Angel understood Spike's predicament and indicated to the bag Connor had brought, "Connor should have a spare tee shirt," he told Spike, "It will fit better than anything of mine."

Spike snorted with laughter but did not disagree simply burrowing through the bag in disgust when he saw there were no black shirts.

Spike pulled a white tee over his head and looked ruefully at his bare feet, "won't kill me I guess, need new boots though," he commented leaving Angel fixated with the slender toes and high arch.

Distracting himself Angel reached over and grabbed Spike's jacket passing it to the smaller vampire.

Spike's eyes lit up and he gratefully took it from Angel. His face dropped slightly, "she was a good fight that one," he commented stroking the leather, "had me worried a couple of times."

Angel watched Spike pull on the leather coat the blond's habitual aura of invincibility seeming to wrap back around him as he did so. Suddenly he was taller somehow, broader across the shoulder making Angel realise just how much a part of Spike the coat was.

But the eyes still showed the pain and grief of the recently acquired soul and the things that had happened. Angel knew that Spike was not completely healed but then neither was he. Their best hope lay together as a family; the rest would take care of itself.

"Let's blow this joint," Spike said.

"Right with you," Angel answered, "I want to go home."

Connor met them at the entry as the sun set over Sunnydale his curiosity about the town satisfied.

The relieved look on his face showed the worry he had felt about Angel and Spike.

Connor blinked at the sight of Spike in his black coat and he saw at last the real vampire. Connor's fight senses kicked in until Spike smiled and he saw within those blue eyes the same man who had slept beside him and let him cry.

Then Connor's eyes were drawn to the dark sadness that was his father finally believing the love he saw there and finally knowing his place in this strange bright world.

THE END

A/N: not really an ending but this is where I want to leave it, the healing has begun and things are better between them, it's a nice place for them to be.