Spike Runs Away and Joins the Circus 1/3
 
Author: Lilithangel
 
Email: abchainey@xtra.co.nz
 
Website: www.livejournal.com/users/lilithbint
 
Fandom: AtS
 
Characters: Spike, OC’s
 
Genre: slash
 
Rating: PG
 
Summary: Post NFA, Spike finds a new family but his past is always there.
 
* * * * *
 
Spike stared at the ceiling of another anonymous motel room trying not to think about how it all had gone wrong.
 
They had fought the dragon and the hordes of demons and won, sort of.  A few surprise arrivals had turned the tide for them just before they were overwhelmed.  Gwen, Connor, and the remnants of Gunn’s gang and the dragon swapping sides had made the difference.
 
Even though they had been badly injured they had made it, returning to the Hyperion battered but not defeated.
 
At first it had been good, slowly healing and trying to decide what to do next.  Spike took the longest to heal, his stubborn refusal to take blood from Angel slowing his progress.
 
If he was honest Spike had to admit that the stubbornness was the start of the problems.  He and Angel argued about his choice, Angel tried to force the issue and Spike lashed out breaking open his wound again. 
 
After that they began to return to old ways of dealing with each other, loud arguments and long periods of sulking.  Spike hated it but couldn’t seem to get back to the camaraderie they had developed.
 
The others tried to help but both vampires refused to be swayed, each determined that the other would apologise first.
 
When the demon attacks began again they knew the Senior Partners were back.  Angel sent Gwen and the others away first, they belonged to the city and could fade into the streets easily enough.
 
Spike left the next night.  He wouldn’t allow Angel to be the one to send him away; he wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction.
 
He travelled randomly, stealing cars abandoning them again when they ran out of gas.  Breaking into butcher shops and blood banks when he was hungry otherwise not stopping until he was too tired to see straight.
 
When he ran out of money he pawned his duster and it was easier than he expected to let it go.  He just wished it were as easy to let more of the past go. 
 
Before he left the pawnshop he used some of his new money to purchase the guitar he saw in the window.  Remembering how to play kept him occupied during the day and stopped him from thinking too much.
 
One night he was sitting idly waiting for a chance to steal another car strumming his guitar as cover when someone tossed some change at his feet.
 
He had never considered busking as an income earner, but it was easy and even enjoyable so he kept on doing it.
 
He found himself slowly drifting north until he reached the Canadian border.  With nothing better to do he snuck across.  It was colder there and he found himself buying a new jacket to replace the duster.  Still in leather (he was a vampire after all) but shorter and more modern with extra padding for warmth.
 
One day while watching daytime television he ran a hand through his hair and realised he hadn’t bleached it in a while.  When it was dark he went into town to buy bleach but instead found himself buying scissors and clippers.
 
At the next motel he got up the courage to use them.  He was still not used to the feeling of air around his head and still tried to run fingers through the nonexistent locks but it felt right to start new.
 
Spike was gone now; he needed to reinvent himself again.
 
* * * * *
 
So he lay in another anonymous motel room staring at the ceiling trying not to think about how it all had gone wrong.  He wasn’t even sure what city he was in but he was tired of travelling.
 
He had already decided on a new name, William Burkle.  He didn’t think Fred would mind, it was a nice blending of old and new.
 
Feeling hungry (for company as well as blood) Spike set out after dark to buy a newspaper and get a coffee from the café he had been frequenting.  He needed to find a place to live and a job if he was going to stay in the city.  It felt oddly right to be planning a new life even though he missed what had been developing in L.A.
 
The city was a mix of old world and modern and Spike felt quite comfortable as he meandered around taking in the sights.  His motel was not in the most affluent of areas but the seedy industrial streets soon began to change as he neared the city centre.
 
It was still early but the sun had already set, Spike was beginning to see the appeal of living this far north.  Before he got much further the sounds of a scuffle intruded on his musings.
 
He fully intended to ignore whatever was going on until he heard the cry of a young child.  Abandoning all thought of staying out of things Spike broke into a run.
 
Rounding a corner into a short alleyway Spike came upon three vampires menacing an older woman who was trying to hide a young girl behind her and fend off their attack.
 
Glancing around futilely for a weapon Spike shrugged fatalistically and hefted his guitar case into both hands.
 
He rushed forward and brought the case down hard on the back of the head of the middle vampire before spinning around and dropping the one on the left with a well placed kick.
 
The case crumpled as the first vampire went down and Spike’s guitar crashed out onto the ground.  With a growl of anger Spike picked up his now broken instrument.
 
“Now looked what you made me do,” he snarled before breaking the neck off and plunging it into the chest of the vampire who was still standing.
 
As the dust settled Spike yelled at the woman who was staring in shock, “get the kid out of here lady!”
 
Startled she looked at him then nodded and gathered the little girl into her arms as the last two vampires struggled to their feet.
 
Spike wasted no time gaining their attention, punching one hard on the jaw and kicking the other one’s legs out from under him.
 
Spike laughed with delight, it had been a while since he enjoyed a good fight and he was just starting to enjoy this one.
 
His attention was distracted by the sound of crying, looking around he saw the little girl kneeling next to the lady shaking her.
 
“Wake up grandmamma,” she cried.
 
Spike was drawn back to the fight by a stinging blow to the side of the head.  With a snarl Spike vamped out causing the other two vampires to stop in surprise long enough for him to dust them both with the neck of his ruined guitar.
 
Discarding the pieces of his new livelihood Spike hurried over to where the little girl was crouched.
 
The woman was alive but blue around the lips and breathing erratically, the little girl’s eyes were wide with fear and bright with unshed tears.
 
“S’all right little one,” Spike reassured her, “we’ll get her help.  Can you hear me ma’am?” he addressed the woman on the ground.
 
She moaned and said something in French, “Pills… café…” was all Spike could make out.  He realised then that he recognised the woman from the café he was heading for.
 
Frowning he turned to the little girl, “what’s your name sweetie?” he asked gently.
 
The little girl stared at him solemnly, “Papa told me not to talk to strangers,” she replied.
 
Spike smiled, “and your papa was right but we need to get your grandmother back to the café.”
 
Slowly she nodded still staring at him intently, “my name is Miriam, papa and I live above grandmamma’s café.”
 
With a sigh of relief Spike quickly gathered the sick woman into his arms, juggling things carefully he managed to hold on while still taking hold of Miriam’s hand.
 
The woman was still breathing but she did not look good.  Spike tried to hurry the girl along but she was too small to keep up.  With another sigh he swung her onto his back one handed.
 
“You guide me, pet,” he told her as she giggled with excitement the resilience of youth letting her deal with events easier than her grandmother.
 
They burst through the doors of the café startling the occupants into silence.
 
“Does anyone here know where this lady’s pills are?” Spike asked in the lull.
 
A man bearing a resemblance to both woman and child shook off his shock and rushed forward.
 
“Mamam, Miriam!” he cried out.
 
“Pills,” Spike prompted impatiently, “think she’s having a heart attack or something.”
 
This spurred action, a waitress plucked the little girl from his shoulders, the man gently gathered the woman out of Spike’s arms while another waitress dived behind the till fumbling with a bottle of pills stored there.
 
Spike deftly grabbed them off her and moved over to the woman.
 
“How many?” he asked her in French, grateful for his gift with languages.
 
She gasped out a number and he quickly slipped them under her tongue. 
 
Her colour slowly improved and the man lowered her gently onto a seat.  Leaving her in the care of one of the waitresses he moved over to the little girl checking her anxiously.
 
“You are alright ma petit?” he questioned her before breaking into rapid French too quick for Spike to follow.
 
The little girl replied to his questions just as quickly gesturing to Spike with excitement.  Frowning, the man gave her a hug and turned to Spike.
 
“Thank you for assisting my family,” he said first, “I am Henri and you have my eternal gratitude.  Could you tell me what happened, my daughter’s explanation does not make a lot of sense.”
 
Spike paused to consider his words not sure how much to tell the man.
 
“I’m William,” he began, “I was heading towards the café when I heard sounds of a struggle.  When I entered the alleyway I found your mother and daughter being harassed by three hoods.  Luckily I had my guitar and case with me, managed to convince them to leave.  Your mother collapsed, I recognised her and brought her here.”  Spike gave him the potted history.
 
Henri’s face cleared, “My daughter has a vivid imagination; she called the men monsters and said you made them go poof.”
 
Spike laughed then sobered, “picking on innocents that does make them monsters but going poof is a good trick,” he smiled at the little girl who grinned back at him.
 
“Henri…” a weak voice from behind them got their attention.  The old woman was sitting upright and beckoning them to her.
 
“Maman, this is William,” Henri introduced them formally.
 
“Thank you for your assistance tonight,” she addressed Spike first, “my granddaughter and I might not be alive now without you.” Her accent was strong but she spoke perfect English.
 
“S’alright it was nothing,” Spike ducked his head uncomfortable with the praise.
 
“No it was something,” she corrected him.  “Henri, take Miriam and put her to bed it has been an eventful day,” she directed, “I wish to speak with William.”
 
Henri nodded in agreement, “I will read her some stories to try and keep the nightmares away,” he turned to Spike “thank you again for what you have done for my family we will see each other again I am sure.”  Shaking Spike’s hand he strode over and picked up his daughter swinging her onto his shoulders and headed out the back.
 
“You knew what they were,” the old lady stated calmly.
 
Startled Spike stared at her before nodding briefly.
 
“Then I am even more grateful for your bravery and the sacrifice of your guitar in our defence,” she grabbed his hands in a surprisingly strong grip.
 
Spike jumped slightly in surprise but did not pull free as she stared intently into his eyes.
 
She nodded to herself apparently happy with what she saw there, “We will replace you guitar of course.  You are visiting our city?”
 
“Thinking of staying actually,” Spike admitted.
 
She smiled, “That is good.  Do you have somewhere to live?”
 
“At a motel right now, was actually heading over here to read the paper and find a job and place to live when everything happened,” Spike confessed finding it almost impossible to lie in the face of her gaze.
 
She nodded as if expecting his reply, “My son works for a school, they need a night watchman, would night work would be alright for you?”
 
Spike grinned, “Night work is fine, but would they want to hire a stranger?”
 
“Henri will have to introduce you to Luc and Marie; they run the school and would make the decision.  However we know you can take care of yourself…” she hesitated and lowered her voice, “my son is a good man but he only believes in what he can see, he prefers not to open his eyes to other things.  The school is a special place and would welcome one such as you.”
 
Spike wondered if she really understood what he was and whether the school would accept a souled vampire on the run from an evil multi-national corporation.
 
However he simply thanked her and executed a short bow over her hand, something about the old woman had him reverting to ancient habits.
 
He agreed to return the following night to meet Luc and Marie retiring to his motel room bemused but more confident than he had been before.
 
* * * * *
 
Spike returned to the café as soon as it got dark, curiosity and need warring within his mind.
 
The old woman and her granddaughter were sitting in a booth waiting for him.  Miriam jumped up when she saw him and ran up to greet him arms outstretched for a hug.
 
Spike hesitated for a moment but the child’s innocent enthusiasm was contagious and he laughed sweeping her up into his arms.
 
“You came, grandmamma he came like you said he would,” she chattered excitedly.
 
“Said I would didn’t I, bit.” Spike smiled as he swung her back into her seat and sat down beside her.
 
“Evening ma’am,” Spike greeted the old lady.
 
“William we are destined to be friends and my friends call me Vivian,” she smiled at him warmly.
 
Spike smiled before turning his attention to Miriam who wanted to show him the pictures she had drawn.
 
Vivian watched with fond amusement as William played enthusiastically with Miriam, praising her drawing and making up stories to go with them.  She noted Henri arrive with Luc and Marie but chose to let them watch William with Miriam for a moment knowing his rapport with her would stand him in good stead.
 
Realising he was being watched Spike looked up into a pair of ancient eyes.  He went still checking for threat before relaxing under the calm gaze.
 
Smiling Vivian rose to embrace the couple and Henri before allowing Henri to make the introductions.
 
“Hello William,” Luc greeted Spike, “Henri has good things to tell us of you, you are looking for work?”  Spike’s hand was engulfed within Luc’s reminding him of a bear paw. 
 
Luc smiled calmly at Spike obviously aware of his reaction and not at all fazed by it.  “This is my partner Marie,” he introduced the petit woman beside him.  Standing next to Luc she looked like a doll but the strength in her eyes was obvious and Spike was drawn to her instantly.  Both she and Luc had strong French accents but spoke perfect English.
 
They sat and chatted about inconsequential things until Miriam’s eyelids began to droop and Henri gathered her up for bed.  She mumbled goodnight to everyone stopping only to give Spike a sleepy kiss and a big hug.
 
Spike hugged her back and brushed her hair out of her eyes before waving her goodnight.
 
Luc and Marie watched with approval aware the action was automatic and natural not designed to impress anyone, but simply an expression of affection for the little girl.
 
With the departure of Henri and Miriam the atmosphere altered subtly and Spike stiffened in expectation.
 
Luc cut straight to the matter at hand, “you wish to work for our school,” he stated, it was not a question but Spike nodded anyway.  “You did a good thing the other night and Vivian is certain that it is not the first time you have come to another’s aid in that manner.”
 
Before Spike could respond Marie took his hand, “we run a very special school and all of our staff are very dedicated, we are like a family in many ways.  Before we can welcome you into that family I must ask you to allow me to do something,” she stared deeply into his eyes with a smile.
 
Uncomfortable with her scrutiny Spike shifted in his seat, “you know what I am?” he asked.
 
“Only some,” she confirmed, “but it is not the whole of what you are and that is what I need to find out.”
 
“What do I have to do?” he asked carefully.
 
“Just be open to me,” she said taking his other hand in hers and fixing him with her gaze.
 
Spike felt himself sinking into her eyes until he could see nothing else.  After a few moments she smiled and released him.
 
“Just one more thing,” she withdrew a pack of cards from her purse opened them and shuffled.  “Please shuffle them and pick nine,” she requested.
 
Curious Spike took the cards realising that it was a Tarot pack.  He placed nine faces down on the table, accustomed to this from his time with Drusilla.
 
Marie turned the first three cards over, “These are your past.” She began.
 
“This card, the Knight of Swords represents war, resistance, bravery and ruin.  Combined with The Tower and the Ace of Swords it would seem you have seen great upheaval and distress at the hands of something more powerful than you.  I believe that in this case the Tower is literal for some reason not just figurative.  While victory was yours it came at a great cost.”
 
She turned the next three cards over as Spike watched with interest and a slight chill at her insight.
 
“This is your present.  The Knight of Wands is not a surprise, departure and flight.  With what was in your past it is to be expected but these…” she pointed to the Eight of Cups and Nine of Pentacles, “these indicate that you will settle down find safety and accomplishment.”
 
She turned the last three cards up.
 
“The Star, the King of Swords and the Ace of Cups, an interesting combination.  The Star and the Ace of Cups tell me that the choices you make will bring you inspiration, understanding, joy and nourishment and there will be a man involved, a man of power and command.”
 
Marie’s brow furrowed slightly, “I am not sure how he is involved…”
 
Now it was Spike’s turn to furrow his brow unsure of what Marie had seen but suspicious he knew who it was.
 
Marie tapped the cards, “the fact that you have the Knight of Swords here and the King of Swords here would suggest this man is from your past and he will be back in your life in the not so distant future, but not right now….” She hesitated, “the things in your past, could they follow you here?”
 
“The man might,” Spike confessed, “but if any trouble follows me I will be gone before it touches anyone here, that I promise,” he said firmly.
 
Marie looked deeply into his eyes before turning to Luc and nodding.
 
Luc held out his hand to Spike, “welcome to the family William, when can you start?”
 
“Right now?” Spike shook Luc’s hand and tried not to sound too needy.
 
Luc laughed, “You have belongings to gather?  We will pick them up on the way then.”
 
Spike turned and gave Vivian an impulsive hug, delighted she hugged him back.
 
“We will see you soon William,” she promised.
 
* * * * *
 
In the three weeks since Marie read his cards and welcomed him to the family Spike had felt more like he belonged somewhere since the night Dru took him into the darkness and brought him home to meet daddy.
 
If he had any doubts about his welcome they were answered when he entered the apartment set aside for him and found a cooler box sitting there full of blood.
 
“You are part of our family and we look after our own, you need to eat,” the note had read.
 
His amazement had only increase when he opened a packet and found almost fresh human blood. (Luc showed him the school’s hospital later in the week, a fully stocked medical centre and small operating theatre, which quelled any doubt he had about taking the out of date blood).
 
It had been a long time since Spike had been able to feed properly, long before the last battle before events in Sunnydale.  He had become accustomed to being hungry and the slight feeling of weakness from it, it was nice to feed as needed and his strength increased.
 
His job was not arduous or time consuming, he had to patrol the grounds and check gates were locked after midnight.  Beyond that he was just expected to be there if there was any trouble.
 
So far things had been pretty quiet and Spike spent a lot of his time hanging around the training rooms watching the performers.
 
Occasionally he would go out in the evenings before his shift started, have a few drinks with Henri and the others or visit with Vivian and Miriam at the café.
 
Henri had replaced his ruined guitar and Spike found himself enjoying time spent with a group of performers from the school, jamming and singing old favourites together.
 
He made friends and started going out with them just for fun.  It was something he had never experienced before.  Not in his human life and certainly not in his vampire one.  He had experienced brief tastes, when he was first turned and before Angel’s curse, and the summer after Buffy died working with the Scoobies to defend the Hellmouth.  This time people were interested in him just for who he was not what he could do for them and it felt good.
 
He still patrolled occasionally, when the urge struck.  The city wasn’t on a hellmouth so there wasn’t the monster of the week to deal with.  Word soon got round that a master vampire had set up shop and wouldn’t tolerate indiscriminate hunting of humans in his territory.  Spike couldn’t bring himself to care if the scum of society got snacked on, but innocent people were able to walk the streets in safety from demonic attack if not human.
 
All in all it was a peaceful existence and Spike could feel a lot of the built up tension within slowly easing and thawing letting him relax.  For the first time in a long time he was content with his lot.  He let his hair grow out but didn’t bother to dye it again, gel still kept the unruliness away however.
 
Sometimes when he had locked up he would return to one of the training rooms and play around with the apparatus.  His vampire strength and agility made it easy to perform many of the stunts he had seen practiced.
 
Spike found the training stimulating and he soon returned to his pre-chip strength and power with the assistance of the human blood that arrived on his doorstep every night.
 
He began to realise Vivian had been right and there was more to this school than met the eye.  To the casual observer it was a performance school, a place where the new breed of circus performers learnt their craft.  The school was full of ex-gymnasts, dancers and acrobats. 
 
They came from all over the world to audition and perform in one of the school’s many travelling shows.  At any one time there were two different shows travelling the world and another show being developed at the school.
 
In addition the school trained young people in basic circus and acrobatic performance.  Luc’s pet project was the identification and ‘rescue’ of talented youngsters who had been slipping through the cracks of the education system in the city.
 
Beneath that however Spike began to notice a number of performers who never seemed to take their makeup off or only appeared after dark.  Some of the acts Spike watched did not look like a human body could perform them and his senses confirmed it.
 
It didn’t bother him, he was the last person to be throwing stones after all but it was to this last group that Spike found himself being drawn to. 
He still wasn’t sure what Luc was, but soon learnt Marie was fully human and nobody cared anyway.
 
He became more involved one night when he was working out on the ropes after hours and sensed somebody watching him.  Spike climbed gracefully down from the ropes to find one of the performers watching.
 
“You are really good.  Why aren’t you in the circus?” Ryan asked Spike.
 
“Just the night watchmen, that’s all,” Spike said, “what are you doing here at this time of night anyway?”
 
“Erik got injured so I don’t have an act now,” Ryan said, “I was trying to think of something so I could stay.”
 
“Why would you have to go?” Spike said.
 
“You have to have an act to be in the troupe but our sling act was so good I don’t know if I can do anything like it alone,” he replied.
 
Spike studied him carefully, he was slight and wiry at first glance but Spike had seen him climb the ropes without breaking a sweat.  He always wore long sleeved shirts and Spike could smell he was not quite human.  He had watched Ryan and his partner work on their act and it had always fascinated him.
 
“I could stay if someone were willing to do a routine with me,” Ryan suggested.
 
“I’m just the night watchman,” Spike said.
 
“You’re not just anything,” Ryan said, “Everyone can see that.”
 
“What do you mean?” Spike asked with suspicion.
 
“You never come out in daylight, you’re super strong, and Miriam told some of the kids at the school how you saved her from the monsters,” Ryan replied.
 
“Night watchman remember?  Means I sleep during the day and Miriam has a very creative imagination,” Spike said.
 
“And I can smell that you aren’t human, not really,” Ryan added, as good as admitting his own non-human status.
 
“I’ll help you with your sling act,” Spike said, giving in, “and only until they find you a new partner or your old one heals.”
 
“Excellent, thanks man,” Ryan clasped Spike’s arm, “when can you start training with me?”
 
“Have to be after hours and it can’t interfere with my work or your sleep.  Tomorrow night you can show me your sling act.” Spike couldn’t believe how easily he turned into a mother hen to another whelp but it certainly helped that Ryan was very attractive.
 
* * * * *
 
Three days into training with Ryan Spike got a visit from Luc when he was having his breakfast.
 
“Taking up acrobat duties now Will?” Luc asked mildly.
 
Spike grinned wryly, “Not much escapes you around here,” he replied by way of an answer.
 
“No, it doesn’t,” Luc replied, “thank you for taking the time with Ryan we have been worried about him.”
 
Spike looked at Luc with surprise not expecting that response.
 
“You have created a great deal of interest among our students William,” Luc smiled at Spike’s surprise, “Ryan has had trouble fitting in but now others are actively seeking him out.  Part of it is due to him knowing you and part of it is the increased confidence you have given him.  Before his only real friend was Erik his performance partner.”
 
“Kid’s got talent,” Spike shrugged off the compliment.
 
“He does and I’m looking forward to seeing your act,” Luc grinned.
 
“It’s gonna be good,” Spike assured him with a grin.
 
“I don’t doubt it.”  Luc grew serious, “Ryan is alone here his people are all gone.”
 
“Figured as much from what he told me,” Spike agreed, “he’s a good kid though, wouldn’t have bothered otherwise.”
 
Luc laughed, “Always so honest and straightforward, it is refreshing in this world William.”
 
Spike snorted, “Truth is a great weapon if you use it right,” he replied cynically.
 
“That it is William,” Luc nodded and stood up, “keep this up and we might just have to put you on the acting staff.”
 
“Like where I am thank you,” Spike answered, silently pleased by the compliment.
 
“And we like you here,” Luc answered as he left.
 
Spike sat and absorbed Luc’s words.  A sense of calm and happiness filled him and he knew if his soul had a curse on it like Angel’s he would have lost it right then and there.
 
He still found he missed the gang from L.A occasionally but here in Toronto he had found a real family.  They had no preconceived notions about him no history to fuck things up.  They took him at face value and it felt damn good.
 
Angel was blood and the demon in Spike was bound to that blood in ways he would never be able to explain, but his time alone had made him realise how much he needed family.
 
Later still Spike ran back to his room and picked up his guitar to join some of the other musicians in a jam session.  He stopped as he always did to admire the gleaming wood and strum a quick chord in pleasure.  The guitar Miriam had bought to replace his broken one was a work of art and he loved playing it.
 
And for the third time that day Spike felt happier than he had ever done in his long existence and he felt a shiver of fear that it would not last and he would be back on the outside again.

 
TBC… next time Spike’s past catches up with him.
 
__._