Here's Angel's POV on New Things...


Title: New Things Two
 
Author: lilithangel
 
Email: abchainey@xtra.co.nz
 
Website: www.livejournal.com/users/lilithbint
 
Fandom: AtS
 
Characters: Spike/Angel
 
Genre: fluff
 
Warnings: extremely fluffy, you have been warned, and more smut too!
 
Summary: Spike and Angel are the only survivors from the alley and are trying to carry on.  This time from Angel's point of view.
 
* * * * *
 
I survived and I wasn't supposed to, I hadn't really thought about Spike I just expected him to always be around I guess so I wasn't surprised when he survived.
 
I hated myself for surviving and hated him for still being there when all the others were gone.  And he was standing there with that all too familiar smirk watching me fall apart.
 
So I screamed at him, took my fear and anger out on him like I always did because he was always there to take it.  And he let me until the moment he turned to leave and I saw it.  Not the usual concealed pain, I was used to that we have always known what would hurt.  This time I saw that he let me because he expected it from me and had stopped believing it would change.
 
And I knew this time if he left he would not come back, we had finally reached the point of never coming back and I was terrified.  I realised then he was all I had left and I couldn't let him go.  This wasn't like the last time when I didn't want him to go because I knew where he would go.  This time I just didn't want him to leave me, so I asked him to stay.
 
I honestly was not sure if he would stay, I certainly didn't deserve it if he did.  But he stayed and we carried on, it wasn't comfortable and it was often loud but he stayed.
 
I hated hiding, I hated the increasingly sordid places we had to stay and I hated the Powers that had put us through everything only to abandon us.  So it wasn't the fact that we had to share a room that upset me but the know it all smirk on his face.  Laughing at me for being so picky but the truth was I wasn't sure what I would do being that close.  I didn't know if I could handle that sort of contact with anyone, I had done nothing to deserve comfort.
 
So maybe I did make a big deal of it but I didn't think he would take it as a challenge.  When we woke up in a tangle of limbs I didn't think the feel of his skin would be so good.  Or that his erection pressing against my thigh would be enough to get me hard too.
 
But it did and when he stroked his hand down my arm and looked at me with those expressive eyes I gave up the pretence.  I turned to him like a drowning man and suddenly I was the centre of his universe.  He kissed me like I was desirable and held me tight touched every inch of my body with reverence, kissed down my spine till I was writhing with pleasure.
 
Then he sent me flying with first his tongue, then his fingers and finally his cock.  I thought I was experienced but Spike's mouth around my cock was better than any fantasy.  He sucked me hard, used his teeth to graze gently along the shaft and bit lightly on the head then swallowed me whole when I bucked with desire.
 
His fingers teased the sensitive flesh below my balls and lightly tapped at the entrance to my ass.  Nobody had ever played there before and it shocked me how pleasurable it was.
 
I watched as he brought one finger up to his mouth and sucked on it without taking his mouth from my shaft.  When he returned the finger to my entrance he swallowed around my cock again and by the time I came down from the sensation his finger was embedded in me.
 
It felt strange, tight and full but really good.  I wasn't sure how anything else was going to fit in there until he started to move his finger and stretching me.
 
With his mouth on my cock and two fingers in my ass I came so hard I hit my head on the wall.  I got aroused again immediately just from the sight of Spike swallowing my seed and licking my cock clean.
 
Before I could get self-conscious he moved his fingers inside me and hit something that sent wonderful tingles down my spine.
 
He knelt above me and started to slick his own cock with my hand lotion.  I had never watched another man touch his cock before and I couldn't tear my eyes away.  He had three fingers inside me now and it was intense and almost painful but so very good.
 
The strangest thing was that Spike was silent throughout, I had never seen him keep quiet for so long but his eyes were so expressive it did not matter.  His eyes told me how much he wanted me how much he desired me and it felt wonderful.
 
When he pulled his fingers free I felt empty but when he positioned his cock at my entrance I still tensed up.  He smiled then and stroked my hip to calm me then took my half hard cock in his hand running his thumb over the still sensitive head.
 
He pushed the head of his cock inside and it hurt but I didn't want him to stop so I bit down on my tongue and hoped that it would get easier.  He waited for me to adjust before sliding deeper and I found I was breathing in time with his movements, long slow gasps that I couldn't hold in.
 
When he was completely inside he stopped moving, hips pressed against mine my legs pulled back against my chest.  I felt completely vulnerable and completely safe at the same time.  He pulled out and began to thrust back into me, as he did so the head of his cock brushed against that spot and more tingles straight down to my balls.
 
His hands were resting on the backs of my legs and I was hyper alert to every touch of his fingers especially when they slipped down to caress my cock again.  I watched as his face relaxed into an unguarded state and the pleasure made him the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
 
I could feel him so deep inside me, I could hear his every unneeded breath, smell his desire and I wanted to taste it.  I let my legs hook around his back so I could pull his closer and I let my hands roam across his pale flesh.
 
He looked surprised at my actions but simply smiled and sped up his thrusts.  My cock was trapped against his body and it was rubbed pleasantly as he moved against me.  His movements became more erratic and I knew he was close.
 
The only sound he made was when he came deep inside me, a mix between a groan and what might have been my name.  It was enough to send me over the edge again this time with his name on my lips.
 
Never was there a point that I didn't want him to do what he did and maybe that's why it hurt so much when he leant in and whispered "so who's not a poof then?" and I realised he had finally got his revenge on me with my total humiliation lying there screaming his name.
 
"Nothing wrong with what we did pet, it doesn't have to mean anything and we don't have to mention it again if you don't want to," Angel stiffened at Spike's words convinced the final blow was coming with Spike laughing at his humiliating need.  It obviously didn't mean anything to Spike even though Angel was burning with the desire to do it again, to do more, to let Spike feel exactly what he had felt and understand what he finally understood that it meant everything.
 
"Talk to me pet, tell me what you want to do," Spike asked.
 
Angel knew this was another pivotal moment, what he said next would determine the essence of something new between them.
 
"Want to do it again," he confessed unable to look at Spike as he did.
 
"What?" Spike's voice was incredulous and Angel cringed.
 
Angel turned over onto his back but still did not look at Spike, "I liked what we did Spike and I want to do it again.  But I know you only did it to get back at me."
 
He wanted me and it was as new to him as it was to me.  I always thought... I don't know what I thought.  He always seemed so confident sexually and made me doubt my very few encounters.  Liam was all bluster and Angelus had Dru and Darla but I have only had a few very unsatisfactory encounters that I was never sure measured up.
 
But I was his first like he was mine.  It shouldn't matter but it does, it puts us on level footing for the first time.  And it feels so good, touching him being with him, being in him.
 
I never knew... how tight how warm, how much like home it would feel.  How amazing it is to hear him moan and push back against me to be able to touch his body without anger.
 
I love pulling those soft curses from his lips when I thrust in a certain way cause I know what I am doing to him I felt it when he was in me.
 
I want him to scream my name like I screamed his, not any of those annoying nicknames but my name.  I want to feel his body spasm around my cock and milk me dry.
 
I want to spend eternity learning about him and his body; I want to map my redemption on his flesh.
 
I want to believe that things can work out after all.