Title: Reward 

Author: lilithangel
 
Email: abchainey@xtra.co.nz
 
Website: www.livejournal.com/users/lilithbint
 
Fandom: AtS
 
Character/s: Spike, others
 
Genre: Angst
 
Warnings:/Rating: none
 
Summary: Post NFA Spike received his reward but does he really want it?  Base on vamptastica's glorious 'William's Penance'.

 
* * * * *

 
Gabriel came over and sat down next to the blond angel, he reached out to touch and then changed his mind fearful of causing more pain.
 
"You don't have to do this William," he said gently.
 
"Yes I do," William replied stabbing the feather quill once more into his thigh.
 
Gabriel winced as the shaft filled with blood and watched sorrowfully as William began to painstakingly inscribe the names of his victims onto his own flesh.
 
Some of the names would fade but others, the ones that affected his soul the deepest; they would scar what should have been perfect skin.  Like a brand they marked the unforgivable, the unforgettable, the ones that William had accepted his penance for.
 
When his wings had arrived they had burst through his back like blades and the flesh still wept even now.
 
"This should not have been my reward Gabriel," William continued, "I thought I was owed it but I was wrong.  I hadn't atoned, hadn't earned peace.  Some prophecy granted me this because He signed it away."
 
"He made his choice William and paid the price willingly."
 
"But I didn't.  He's down there still fighting in a hell of his own because he didn't believe he deserved his reward.  Well I didn't deserve it either," William turned back to his work.
 
The quill nib had worn down so William put it aside and pulled another feather from his wings not even caring about the pain as it was drawn from his flesh.
 
His face shifted revealing the demon visage he had not lost and he sharpened the point of the quill on his fangs.
 
"Not a real angel Gabriel you know that," William commented when he saw the look of pain that crossed the angel's face at the sight of the demon, "this is the demon's hell as much as it is supposed to be my heaven."
 
Sadly Gabriel stood up and watched William continue to inscribe the names on his skin.  Where he sat was splattered with blood and discarded feathers.
 
They had tried to stop William when he first arrived but the broken angel did not believe his right to be there and finally they had given up and allowed him to carry on with his penance.
 
Gabriel was the only one who still came to visit and tried to talk but even he was beginning to crumble under the weight of despair.
 
Another angel came and stood beside Gabriel.  Michael had been pleased when the redeemed vampire had arrived seeing a strong arm in his army but the archangel had been disappointed.
 
"Have you ever wondered why some of the names stay on his skin?" Michael questioned, "they are the souls that mattered most to him and the ones that should have come to us in the fullness of time," the archangel continued without waiting for an answer.
 
"What does that matter?" Gabriel asked as William pierced his flesh again to refill the bloody quill.
 
"It matters because they matter and he is going to be given a chance to save them," Michael answered, "he will get his chance at redemption."
 
Unaware of the scrutiny William continued to respond to the screams only he could hear and continued his record of the fallen.