V.I.S.S
by Lilithangel

3. The Auction

"Alright, first item from the catalogue" Harmony began,

"Catalogue?" Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"6 x 4 glossey's of the two themselves, Angel and Spike. Candid shots taken in their place of work. We have two individual shots of each and one of the two of them in a rare moment of camaraderie."

The bidding was brisk and Spike was pleased when one of his photos fetched slightly more than Angel's. The photo of the two of them together fetched more than all the four individuals together, much to his surprise.

"Do they really fight all the time?" the young vampire who won the joint picture asked wistfully.

"Oh yes!" Harmony replied emphatically "Once they argued for two weeks about who would win in a fight between a caveman and an astronaut."

Everyone laughed at the story although some looked disappointed that Spike and Angel would fight about something so silly.

"Caveman" Spike muttered under his breath.

"Next items, signed autographs from the pen of both Spike and Angel and as a special bonus, the pen they signed with."

Spike was impressed with Harmony's style; she was really entering into the swing of auctioneering. She coaxed the bidding higher exciting the crowd and keeping up a cheerful patter.

Two matronly females were successful in bidding for the autographs and they cooed and twittered with excitement as they came up to collect their bids.

One of them whipped out an autograph book and presented it to Harmony, "I would love you to sign my book dearie. To have seen and done so much yourself and to know those tow dear boys...ohh I've come over all faint" she gushed as Harmony cheerfully signed her book with a flourish.

"Next, the sword carried by Angel during his unfortunate puppet stage" Harmony giggled.

There was an expectant hush in the crowd, as everyone waiting to hear the story and Harmony did not disappoint.

"Angel was the unfortunate victim of a spell that turned him into a puppet. He was absolutely adorable, only one foot high and all felty. I had to lift him up onto the desk so he could look us in the eye."

Everyone smiled at the image of Angel as a puppet. Spike grinned; the memory of Angel was one that sustained him through the bad times. His smile faded as Harmony continued her tale.

"But Angel could still kick butt, even as a puppet. When Spike hassled him, they had one of their knock down fights and Angel came out on top."

"Only cause I was laughing so much" Spike muttered.

The bidding was fierce on the sword with it finally going to a young male vampire wearing entirely too much black leather for someone of his rather thin stature.

"Next, CD copies of Spike's favourite bands, The Sex Pistols and The Ramones, taken from his own personal collection. Now any of you around for the seventies might remember them, I don't" Harmony giggled coquettishly "being too young. But I heard enough of them when Spike was crashing at my place."

Spike scowled, he thought he had lost those CD's when he was in Sunnydale, obviously not.

He was agreeably flattered to see that bidding was brisk for the CD's, two vampires still trapped in the seventies finally won out. Given each other high fives the jumped up on the stage grinning wildly.

"Now we get to the business end of the auction" Harmony reached into her bag "the big ticket items. Now I expect everyone to dig deep for these next few pieces, these are things that will seldom come up for auction and are real collectors items."

She paused dramatically "First, the Cup of Perpetual Torment, as drunk from by Spike after defeating Angel in hand to hand combat for the right to become human again."

There were appreciative ohhs and ahhs from the crowd as Harmony raised the cup over her head for everyone to see.

"It was unfortunate for Spike that it only contained Mountain Dew, but fortunate for us as kept him with us as a shining example of true vampirehood."

This time the bidding went on and on as determined VISS members battled for the right to own the cup. Reggie the chairman could scarcely contain his excitement as the bidding went higher and higher.

Finally Harmony knocked it down to a distinguished older vampire who looked suspiciously like one of the lawyers from Wolfram & Hart.

"Now the highlight of the auction... first a midnight blue silk shirt as worn by Angel."

"Typical" Spike thought with a tinge jealousy "the highlight is Peaches sodding silk shirt."

"Now Angel only wears silk against his skin and those of you with a keen sense of smell may be able to detect his scent still clinging to the fabric."

Spike scowled in disgust as the rise of excitement in the room over some manky unwashed shirt.

The successful bidder screamed with happiness and jumped up and down like a lottery winner. Spike's only consolation was that the winner was a man.

But Harmony was not finished, "Now Spike prefers cotton and denim against his skin except for one essential area."

Spike froze in shock; she could not be referring to what he thought she was, could she?

"Often Spike goes commando" there were sighs of desire from the crowd and titters of embarrassment "but when he doesn't, black silk boxers are his only choice."

"Bloody hell!" Spike could not stop himself "have you gone completely mad woman?" He burst through the curtains and snatched his boxers out of Harmony's hands.

Harmony squeaked in shock "Blondie Bear, what are you doing here?" she stammered.

"What am I doing, what are you doing you stupid bint? Auctioning my...my..."

Belatedly Spike realised he was standing on stage in front of thirty odd vampires waving his boxer shorts around.

Quickly he thrust them behind his back and smiled with embarrassment at the stunned crowd.

"It's him," a voice whispered.

"He's actually here," another gasped.

A slightly balding, bespectacled vampire standing next to Harmony stepped forward with hands outstretched. Grasping Spike's hand he pumped it enthusiastically.

"Oh my, this is indeed an honour...we never thought...I am speechless...oh my..."

"Chance would be a fine thing" Spike thought as his hand was almost shook off.

"My name is Reggie...I am your biggest fan...I have followed your career since Europe...you have been an inspiration...oh my..." he finally subsided, realising he was still shaking Spike's hand Reggie let go with an embarrassed titter.

"We would be honoured if you would say a few words to our wee group. The story of Angel and Spike has been an inspiration to us all in our quest to regain our souls."

Spike looked at the expectant faces below him, darting a glance at Harmony that would have frozen hell over, he managed a weak smile.

Taking an unnecessary breath, Spike 'the big bad' came down with a serious case of stage fright.
 

A/N: thank you everyone for your reviews, Thanks for the idea Hearns, more secrets are sure to be revealed. Samara – I certainly don't want your fluffy monkeys after me. Darklight – only gentle Spike and Angel bashing from me – more like playful ribbing. I really am enjoying writing this story, I do not know where it is going yet but it should be an entertaining ride.