Title: Wanting Him Part Five

Author: Lilithangel

Email: abchainey@xtra.co.nz

Website: www.livejournal.com/users/lilithbint

Fandom: BtVS/AtS

Genre: smut

Characters: Spike/Angel/Xander

Rating/Warnings: contains boy on boy sex.

Summary: Set between BtVS Season 5 and 6 and AtS Season 2, they don't bring Buffy back but Angel finds out that Spike is still helping the Scoobies and wants to know why.  Xander is developing feelings for Spike and Angel doesn't like that.

What's a lonely heterosexual (mostly) vampire to do?

Angel is Spike's sire in this one, just for a change.


Part Five  decisions and actions, the boys do a bit of solo playing to get in the mood.

* * * * *

Spike

Spike paced the length of his crypt smoking continuously.  He could not make his mind settle enough to think properly about what had happened.  He itched to lash out and commit violence to stop his thinking but he had already killed every fledgling and every demon he could find before dawn had forced him back to his crypt.

He threw himself onto a chair and let his head fall back but as soon as he closed his eyes he saw Angel and Xander kissing again. 

The idea of having sex with a man was not abhorrent to Spike but he had quite honestly never considered it with either Xander or Angel. 

Okay the kiss had been kind of hot but it was a lot to throw on a bloke without warning.

Okay their insane behaviour made more sense now but a fat lot of good that did him now.

Spike was lonely, he was not used to being on his own and a part of him yearned for any attention.  But he had been love's bitch before and look where it had gotten him... chipped and living in a crypt.  What sort of existence was that for a master vampire?

Spike's mind swung around again to Angel and Xander.  Angel was his sire and his demon still craved his company.  Xander had become a friend in recent times and Spike had enjoyed that.

He could see that they were both attractive men and the kiss had been hot... damn he kept coming back to the damn kiss.

Without realising it Spike's hand slipped onto his groin and rubbed the growing hardness there as his mind recalled the two of them.

Horrified Spike pulled his hand away and resumed his pacing.  He was not going to get aroused by them he was firmly heterosexual dammit!  He was just lonely that was all.

He needed hot sex with a willing female and then he could put the whole thing behind him, tell them he wasn't interested and everything could go back to normal.

He tried to think of a willing woman, there was always that dozy bint Harmony.  Spike shuddered at the thought, sure she was pretty enough but every time she opened her mouth he just wanted to shove something in there and it was not normally his cock.

Spike realised he didn't know any other willing women.  The thought of going to a bar and picking up someone past through his mind only to be summarily dismissed as a bad idea.  With the chip he couldn't risk a human and very few demons were willing to go near him now.

Spike sighed, his cock was hard now and it looked like he was doomed to another night with Mr Palm and his five friends.

It was a totally unsatisfactory was for a vampire to exist especially one as sensual as Spike and he found his mind wandering back again to the offer Xander and Angel had made.

He didn't believe for a minute that Angel's attention would last; it was just a dog and bone thing for the dark vampire.  Once he got what he wanted Angel would lose interest and Spike would be alone again.

Xander would be loyal; he had proven that time and again but was it just some sort of late teen experimenting brought about by losing Anya?  Xander could get over it just as quickly as Angel and Spike would still be alone.

Fine... he would just get rid of the problem so he could think about things clearly again.

Spike threw himself back into his chair and unbuttoned his jeans.  Releasing his cock Spike stroked it firmly hoping to find release quickly.  He ran his thumb over the head gathering pre-cum from the weeping slit to slick up his shaft.  He let his other hand drop down and fondled his balls lightly.

He could feel the tingles of orgasm but they remained stubbornly distant no matter how hard he gripped or stroked.

He conjured up his favourite memory of Dru from when she was in her saner period.  They had spent three days in bed fucking each other senseless.  At one point Dru had knelt between his legs and given him the sort of blowjob she normally reserved for Angelus finishing him off with his first rimming.

Spike visualised her brunette locks spread across his thighs while her head bobbed up and down his shaft her talented tongue flickering around his glans and the underside of his head.

He went to tangle his hands in the glorious locks only to find them gone.  Looking down Spike saw Xander looking back up at him mouth still locked around his cock.  Xander became Angel who licked down under Spike's balls to push his tongue against Spike's puckered entrance.

Spike came with a gasp at the image before he even realised and was left shaken and unsatisfied.

"Bloody buggering hell," he cursed getting up to find something to wipe himself down with.

Xander

Xander called in sick to work and sat at home brooding.  He hadn't known what he had expected to happen at the mansion but it had definitely not gone the way he had hoped.

It was probably stupid to have imagined Spike just falling into his arms expressing undying love for him but some part of his mind had hoped... dreamt that it would be so.

He was glad now that he had chickened out of using the enema kit but the larger dildo had certainly felt good once he had relaxed around it.

Xander didn't know what Spike was going to decide or where that left him and Angel if the answer was no.  He couldn't think that far ahead without getting depressed.

So once again he was alone with a raging hard on and only his hand for company.  And a dildo... Xander's cock twitched at the thought and he went to grab some lube.

Angel's words had stuck and Xander's fantasies now had him on the bottom.  Because it was his fantasy Xander arranged it so that Angel was lying under him sucking his cock while Spike pressed into his arse.  The coolness of the dildo allowed him to imagine it was the blond vampire's cock filling him up and he pressed it in deep to find his prostate.

He slicked up one hand and loosely fisted his own cock to mimic the feel of Angel's mouth.  Xander knelt on his bed so he could keep pushing the dildo in and out while he stroked his cock letting the fantasy work its magic on him.

Angel's mouth sucked hard on his cock and he could imagine a tongue dipping into the slit of the aching head to capture his leaking pre-cum.  The cock in his arse keep a constant pressure on his prostate and the idea of Spike fucking him while Angel sucked him off sent the boy over the edge so quickly he couldn't catch the cum before it spurted all over the sheets.

He collapsed onto his side to avoid the sticky fluid and tried to catch his breath.  He knew the reality was going to be far better than the fantasy and he decided he couldn't just wait for Spike to decide, especially with the risk of Spike not choosing him.  He had to press his case without Angel around and patrol could be the perfect time as long as Angel did not tag along.


Angel

Angel tried to settle his mind with Tai Chi working through the entire form before he felt calm enough.

Part of him wanted to go over to Spike's crypt and take what he wanted from the blond, marking the younger vampire as his for the entire world to see.

His rational mind knew that it was a bad idea, as Spike would never allow him to do that without a fight.  While he was confident of beating Spike Angel was smart enough to know it would ruin any chance he had of building something with his childe.

His demon whispered that he was just obsessed by the younger vampire, like he was when he first took William from Dru and taught him how to be a vampire.  Then Angelus' obsession had manifested in training the fledgling to be a killer like he was and proving he was dominant.  One fuck, his demon insisted, and he would be over it and able to return to L.A.

He wondered if the sexual attraction had been there back then and whether that explained how cruel he had been to the young vampire until he had learnt his place.  Had Angelus translated desire into violence?  He had never thought so at the time but he had never thought about having sex with another man either.

Angel sighed; he was no further in understanding exactly what he wanted to happen with Spike and Xander.  He was definitely attracted to them both for different reasons but still did not know whether it was long-term relationship, attraction or simply lust.  And could he have a relationship with either or both of them?

His soul was safe at least.  The time with Buffy he had not known of the clause in the curse and he knew now that his fear of releasing Angelus would never completely leave his mind again.  That perfect moment of happiness occurred because he forgot himself and that would never happen again.

But maybe he should check with the Powers about that, or Giles might be able to help although Angel was loath to bring up the topic of Angelus with the Watcher.

Giving up on the Tai Chi as not helping anymore Angel went to shower and clean up.

Under the hot water Angel began to relax.  He loved the luxury of being able to be clean whenever he wanted.  He missed the pleasures of a bath but the shower made up for a lot.

Soaping his body up Angel's hands made their own way down to his groin as he bent his head to let the water pour over his back.

It felt as if he had been permanently hard since arriving in Sunnydale and even simple thoughts of Spike made it worse.  Not that he had many simple thoughts about his recalcitrant childe.

Feeling absolutely deviant Angel reached back and ran a soapy finger around his arsehole.  Angelus had experienced rimming with Darla and had instructed Drusilla in how to please him completely but Angel had never played around there himself.

It felt dirty and bad and incredibly arousing.  Being very daring Angel pushed his finger inside just a bit.  It was strange but not unpleasant and Angel wondered if he could allow Spike to penetrate him if that is what it took to convince the blond.

Pushing his finger in further Angel's other hand stripped his cock and his mind placed Xander kneeling at his feet waiting to accept the offering of his cum with a willing mouth.

It was enough to send him staggering into orgasm as he felt the muscles in his arse tighten around his finger and he wondered if Xander's arse would do the same to his cock if properly stimulated.

Angel washed away the evidence of his pleasure and stayed under the water feeling the tension wash away for the first time in days.

He knew Xander would not appreciate his presence on patrol and set about planning a way of getting Spike alone.  Despite agreeing to let Spike think things through without inference Angel knew he had to plead his case before Spike slipped behind the Big Bad persona and didn't let him get close.

Spike

Xander was silent on patrol throwing nervous glances at Spike every few minutes.

Spike worked his way through four cigarettes and half a dozen fledges before the quiet got too much for him.

"What?" he demanded of the boy.

Xander jumped in surprise, "nothing... I was just wondering... are you disgusted in me have I ruined everything should we just go back to being friends can we go back to being friends?" he babbled.

Spike snorted and tried to make sense of the sentence, "not disgusted, you haven't ruined everything and I don't know about the friends' thing," he answered honestly.

Xander shrunk into himself at Spike's words certain he had ruined everything.

"Bloody hell," Spike noticed Xander hunch, "was a bit of a shock is all, course we are still friends," he sighed as the tension left Xander's shoulders.

"So you're not disgusted?" Xander had to ask again.

"Surprised and flattered," Spike confessed, "not something I have ever done before so it needs some thinking."

Xander nodded his understanding and could not keep the small bounce out of his step at the almost encouragement.  He wanted to reach out and touch Spike but was not sure how the gesture would be regarded.

Spike saw Xander biting his lip anxiously, "what is it now?" he demanded.

"I want to ask you something and I'm not sure how you'll react," Xander admitted.

"Go ahead and ask," Spike rolled his eyes, "I promise to behave."

"I want to kiss you," Xander looked at his feet blushing.  When Spike did not reply Xander looked up afraid of what he would see.

Spike was looking at him with a considering look and Xander relaxed a little.  At least the vampire didn't look threatening or worse yet amused.

"Alright then," Spike agreed unexpectedly.

"What?" Xander choked in surprise.

"Need to know if I would like it don't I?" Spike replied defensively.

Xander blinked in surprise he had not expected Spike to agree so easily and now he didn't know what to do.  Angel had initiated things with him the first time so he wasn't sure how Spike would want to do things.

Xander stepped hesitantly towards Spike looking at him nervously.

"Come on," Spike said impatiently stepping closer, "not like you haven't done this before, it's just a kiss."

"Not with you," Xander shook his head, "this will be our first kiss and I don't want to muck it up."

Spike looked at Xander in surprise, he was not used to mattering that much that someone would be worried about making a good impression on him.

They stood almost touching both suddenly shy.  Spike's head moved in a fraction and Xander's followed.  There was a momentary hesitation as they attempted to get their lips lined up then they moved together.

It was tentative and clumsy, Spike tasted of cigarettes just like Xander imagined he would but it was not as bad as he expected. 

Their teeth clashed, Xander almost bit Spike's tongue but the kiss was not as bad as he had feared.  Xander tasted of toothpaste and his chin scratched Spike's but his mouth was warm and welcoming.

They pulled back and stared intently into each other's eyes.

"Was that alright?" Xander asked nervously.

"I guess so," Spike replied.

"You guess so?" Xander could still taste Spike in his mouth and wanted to run his tongue over his lips to capture more.

"It wasn't bad," Spike admitted, "just different."

"Would you want to do it again?" Xander had to ask although he was terrified of the answer.

"Okay," Spike agreed and pulled Xander in for another kiss.  This time Spike was more forceful capturing Xander's lower lip sucking on it as he held the human in place.

Xander let the kiss overwhelm him loving the fact that Spike had initiated the kiss this time and seemed to be enjoying it as well.

This time when they broke the kiss Xander was panting with desire and unable to hide the erection pushing out his pants.

Spike looked a little wild-eyed and seemed a bit shell shocked, "I think patrol is over, I'll walk you home," he turned and headed out of the cemetery.

Xander put one hand up to touch his kiss puffed lips with amazement before hurrying after Spike.

They made the journey in silence.  Spike because he was trying to digest what had happened and Xander because he was afraid to break the spell between them.

They halted outside Xander's apartment and stood awkwardly not looking at each other.

"Well... good night," Xander hesitated.

"Yeah," Spike replied the rest of his reply smothered by Xander's lips descending on his.

Xander kissed Spike hard and fast and then hurried inside without looking back.  This time it was Spike standing contemplatively touching his lips and savouring the taste of the young human.

* * * * *

Spike walked back to his crypt in a daze.  The kisses with Xander had definitely not been unpleasant and the boy's arousal had been very gratifying.  The combination had been enough to start getting him hard as well.

So he could be attracted to Xander, hell he was attracted to the boy.  But was it enough to get physical and risk the fall out if it went bad?

He didn't love Xander, most of the time he didn't even like the Scooby but the times they did connect were good and Spike had been starting to crave those moments. 

He knew his own weaknesses enough to realise that it would not take much to obsess on Xander and fall hard.  Fortunately Xander's obnoxious behaviour would raise its head and Spike would fall back into his own irritating ways.

Now that persona was cracking under the attentions of both Xander and Angel leaving him feeling vulnerable and confused.

Spike looked up to find that he was standing in front of the mansion instead of his crypt.  He thought about the set of rooms Angel had decorated for him against the draughty and damp crypt.

Finishing his cigarette Spike strode up the steps to the mansion.  His memories of the place were no worse now as the things that haunted him in the crypt and it was a hell of a lot better decked out.

* * * * *

Angel had known Spike was there as soon as he stopped at the gates.  He waited anxiously to see what the blond would do sagging with relief when he watched Spike head up to the door.

Then he panicked not wanting Spike to find him hovering by the door like an anxious parent.

Angel rushed back into his own room and threw himself into his chair.  Then he decided it was too formal and leapt back to his feet and went to stand by the fireplace.  He couldn't decide where to place his feet so he ended up back in his chair with a book casually resting in his lap to give the impression he had been relaxing and reading a book not pacing the floor thinking about Spike.

Angel heard Spike come inside and walk up the stairs.  He waited nervously as he heard Spike's steps slow outside his door and then deflated when Spike continued on towards his own rooms.

Feeling a little bit foolish Angel none the less jumped back to his feet and opened his door, "Spike," he called out.

Spike stopped with a sigh and turned around to face Angel.  He had hoped to get to his own rooms without incident so he could think his way through what had happened with Xander but obviously Angel was not going to make it that easy.

"What do you want?" he demanded.

"I just wanted to say I was glad you came back here," Angel replied lamely really wanting to ask Spike to come and talk to him but not wanting to appear like he was begging.

"Better than the crypt," Spike replied offhand and went to turn back.  To his surprise he caught a quick glimpse of disappointment on Angel's face.

Angel went to go back into his room when Spike pushed past him, "got anything to drink in here?" he asked brusquely.

"Sure," Angel replied with ill-disguised pleasure, "just let me..." he bustled around the room finding his good scotch and nice glasses.

Spike stood by the fire unsure what had prompted him to try and make Angel feel better.  It wasn't as if he had a soul to control his actions like his pouf of a sire.  He had obviously been hanging around the humans too long, hell he was kissing them now.

Angel handed Spike a glass and they stood feeling slightly awkward leaning against the mantle.

"I kissed Xander," Spike found himself speaking just to fill the emptiness.

Angel nearly lost his grip on his glass at Spike's words.  He forced himself to finish his mouthful and then put the glass carefully down on the mantle before replying.

"How was it?" he cursed the stupidity of the question even as he asked it.

"Alright I guess," Spike answered, "You should know you've kissed him too," Spike's voice was faintly accusing.

"He's not very experienced but quite enthusiastic," Angel could not believe he was discussing this, "humans are so warm."

"Yeah," Spike agreed wistfully, "it shouldn't be a surprise being as their blood is so warm.  God I miss that."

Angel looked at Spike in surprise.  He knew he shouldn't be surprised but Spike had adapted so well to the chip it never dawned on Angel how much it crippled his childe.

"Do you hate them for it?" Angel could not help asking.

"Course I do," Spike couldn't believe how stupid Angel could be at times, "they neutered me without a care because I am a monster and the Scoobies just think it is a good thing like muzzling a dog," Spike's voice revealed the bitterness he felt, "do you hate them?" he demanded of Angel.

"Sometimes," Angel confessed, "I didn't ask to be cursed and interacting with humans every day can be really hard.  They don't want to accept the fact that I am still a vampire that I still have the urges even if I bag it," Angel sighed, "and they are so fragile it's hard to get attached knowing what can happen."

"Yeah," Spike agreed morosely, knowing they were both thinking about a certain slayer that they would never mention.

They both finished their drinks and stood awkwardly not looking at each other.

"Well," Spike put his empty glass down, "this has been fun."

Angel cast around frantically for something to say to keep Spike in the room for a bit longer.

Before he could say anything hands had grasped his head firmly and lips were pressed against his.  He opened his mouth and a tongue was pushed inside taking control of the kiss.

It was different to kissing Xander, no stubble for a start and cooler.  Spike tasted of the cigarette he had finished outside and the scotch they had drunk and faintly of Xander.

It was arousing to taste Xander on Spike but at the same time Angel wanted to obliterate it and make sure all Spike could taste was him.

Spike didn't know what possessed him to kiss Angel but now that he was he intended to make the most of it.

Pulling down Angel's head so he could reach allowed him to keep control of the kiss even when Angel began to respond with enthusiasm.  Their tongues duelled for dominance but without their normal aggression.

Angel wrapped his arms around Spike's smaller form and pulled him closer.  Spike's hands slid around to the back of Angel's neck and he deepened the kiss with the change of angle.

Angel never really thought of Spike as smaller than him, even when they were in each other's faces arguing Spike always appeared larger than he was. 

But now with the blond practically standing on his toes to maintain the kiss Angel couldn't help but notice and with his arms wrapped around Spike's body it was apparent that Spike was also skinnier than he should be as well.

Angel hated how little he knew about his childe's existence now.  There had been a time when he knew every movement his family made because he was the one to decide them.

Spike lost himself in the kiss for a few moments enjoying the small noises Angel was making without realising it.  But all too soon he felt Angel tighten his grip possessively and Spike knew his sire was close to trying to re-establish his dominance.

While they had never had a sexual relationship in the past Angel was used to be the one in control and by initiating the encounter Spike had hoped to bypass the whole sire/childe thing.

"I'm going to get some sleep," Spike broke from the kiss abruptly.

"Now?" It took a moment or two for Angel to process Spike's words as he came down out of the moment.  He couldn't believe that Spike was pulling away from such an amazing kiss.

"Been a long day and I'm looking forward to sleeping in a comfortable bed again," Spike answered secretly pleased at how dazed Angel appeared.

"Oh... okay," Angel tried not to think about Spike climbing into the four-poster bed he had picked out and the red silk sheets he had thought would look good against the blond's pale skin.

"Good night then," Spike brought Angel's attention back.

"Sleep well," Angel replied, "Spike thank you for changing your mind and deciding to use the rooms," Angel said sincerely.

"Not a problem mate, see ya in a few hours yeah?" Spike headed for the door.

"There's plenty of blood in the kitchen if you get hungry," Angel added.

"Thanks," Spike headed for his own rooms.

Angel groaned as the images of Spike still filled his mind.  Combined with the intensity of the kiss he was as hard as rock again with only his hand for company.

Spike practically ran to his rooms, kissing Angel had turned him on more than he could ever imagined even when he was an adoring fledge wanting to please his sire.

He stripped off his clothes and crawled into bed revelling in the cool smoothness of the sheets.  Of course Angel would have put silk sheets on his bed, his sire was born to be a poof but Spike was not going to argue about the sensation of silk on his skin.

It felt good wrapped around his cock too as he bunched it up in his hands and stroked the shaft.  His mouth was full of the taste of Angel and he conjured up a montage of images of Xander and Angel kissing, Xander kneeling in front of him but it was the image of Angel kneeling in front of him that pushed him over the edge.

He shot his load all over his chest missing the sheets to his relief. The last he wanted to do was ask Angel for more sheets after their kiss.

Spike drifted off to sleep more unsure than ever about what he was going to do.


TBC... there will be sex soon I promise...