[Marvel's characters. Continuity: Zip, really... consider it recent, six
month gap, since Pete's with X-Force. Sequel to 'Satin', in a way.
Attempted humor.

Thanks to Trish, Oberon, and Falstaff for the listings of the teams -- I
probably missed a lot of people, but then, so would a drunken Kitty and
Pete... SuperThanks to Mel for telling me to post.]

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One For My Baby, And One More For The Road
By Lise
======================================

"So gimme one more for my baby, and one more for the roaaad!"

Kitty clouted him on the back, and then said, "I'm not you-uur baby
an'more, Pete Wisdomon. But I'll take the drunk. Drink!"

Pete handed her the shot the waitress had poured, and managed to only spill
a little of it on his sleeve. Kitty downed it, and slapped her chest. "Oi!
That was strong..."

"Y'know the most wunner... wunner.... You know what's real good 'bout us
drinkin', Kit?"

She lurched to one side, and had to leap up again to keep from falling on
her head. "Whazzat, Wisdom?"

He waited long enough to stop his glass from spinning, then threw back the
shot. "Means we're-- y'know... that word... over, an' still friends, like."

She frowned, and attempted to clear the fuzz from her eyes. "Like...
friends?"

"Yeah. An' drinking friends, too." He stared into the bottom of the newest
glass, face suddenly morose. "Even though you din' tell me you was shagging
Emma Frost."

Kit patted him affectionately, and answered, "Well, how would you tell me
you were shagging, oh, LeBeau?"

He choked, forehead almost hitting the table as he lurched into a coughing
fit. She chuckled. He said finally, when calm, "Y'know, that might not be a
bad idea. He shags anything that moves, right?"

Kitty shrugged, and then pillowed her head on her folded arms. Muffled by
her sleeve, she said, "How d'you know what to-- to *do*, with a girl,
anyways?"

Pete mimicked her pose, and tried to shrug. "Dunno. You were easy to
read... gets easier." She moved to hit him. "Oi! Well, you were easy to
read. An' other people just... seriously? You guess 'alf the time. Get
instructions the rest."

Kitty sighed. "I know Emma... she cheats, like, because she can read my
mind. And I know she's happy with me *now*... but in the beginning?"

Pete whistled, and closed his eyes tightly against the wavering view he had
of the table. "Those first few times shagging are all guessin', Kitty."

She grinned at him. "You mean with us, you guessed the first time?"

"Nah. Asked the Ruskie."

She hit him again, and another minute past where the both of them were in
rapt contemplation of the back of their eyelids. Pete finally mumbled,
"Wossit they say?"

Kitty blinked. "Dunno. What're you talking about?"

"Like... one in ten people's gay?"

"...Guess so."

He sat up carefully, and paused to make the room catch up with the movement
of his head. He held one hand up in front of his face, and squinted at it.
Mumbling again, "... yep, only five there... Anyway."

She blinked at him, trying to figure out what he was talking about. She
asked eventually, "What're you talking about, Wisdom?"

He raised his head to look at her, instead of his hand. "Well... 'ow many
of us were in Excaliber? You'n me... the Ruskie... Moira, sorta..."

As he trailed off, she added, "Rachel-- though she's gone... how many's
that?"

Pete muttered under his breath as his fingers started to dance around
again. "Need a pen..." One was produced, and he started writing. "Thas...
five."

"Brian and Megan, Kurt ... Rhane..."

Pete grinned. "Kay. Got'em -- that's nine. Now, how many Gen-X?"

They both looked puzzled. Kitty mumbled, "Well... Emma. Sean. Jubilee...
that snotty girl that Emma always talks about... Sam's sister... Penny..."
She looked up to ask, "Are you gettin' this?"

He answered, "Penny..."

"Kay. Uh... that weird Spanish kid with the skin... Starsmore -- you'd like
him, Pete -- and the... whashisname. Yeah. And the three kids."

Pete was writing furiously, and then paused, before he handed Kitty the
napkin. "Can you read that, Kitty?"

She picked it up after only a few tries, and squinted at the scrawled
letters. "I... think so." She shrugged, and handed it back to him. "Doesn't
matter. X-force?"

Pete answered confidently, "Tabitha, Roberto, Dani, Proudstar, Shatterstar,
Domino, an'me. But I'm already me. So I don't count."

Kitty's eyebrows raised, and she giggled. "You don't count no more? What --
lost your fingers?"

Pete glared. "Brat. An'way. Where are we?"

"Miscellaneous? X-men are gonna be a bitch to... Lessee. Polaris and Havok,
Illyana, poor thing..."

Kitty blinked, and held onto the table for dear life as the world started
spinning around again. "And now the X-men I think. But that's gonna be
tough. There's... original five were Jean, Scott, Bobby, Angel, Hank.
There's... ah, screw it. Let's just list'em. Psylocke, Rogue, Gambit --
mustn't forget Pete's boy -- Jubilee, but you've got her... Logan...
'Roro... Kurt, Peter, me, but we're listed... Bishop... Cable, we forgot
him... the new guy, Thunderbird... Marrow... Dr. Reyes... Sam... Joseph --
does he count? Oh, well, yeah, definitely gay--"

"... I can't believe you were able to do that." She hadn't even taken a
breath, and her eyes had glazed over in the recitation.

Kitty looked smug. "I'm a good little X-men."

"So...d'we forget anyone?" Kitty shrugged, and Pete nodded. "Point.
S'enough people to prove the point... what point were we proving again?"

Kitty blinked. "I think that everyone's gay."

"Right. So how many spandex clad people izzat?"

"... look on the paper."

"... Right." Pete moved his finger over the napkin slowly, moving his lips
as he re-read all the names he'd written down. "I think... 'bout 45?"

Kitty laughed, head thrown back. "That means that four and a half of us are
gay!"

Pete scowled. "Maybe you're the half. You still like lookin' at men,
right?"

Kitty stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, yeah, but so do you... Speaking
of which, LeBeau *has* to as well."

It was Pete's turn to laugh, and it sounded like he was a choking seal.
"You mean that nine of us are half-gay!"

The waitress came over to their table, to see what the noise was all about.
She looked at them, puzzled, as Pete waved the whiskey-soaked napkin in the
air and gasped for air. There were tears running down his cheeks, he was
laughing so hard, and Kitty was the same. She grabbed their glasses, and
walked away, confused look still in place. Once she was gone, Kitty calmed
down enough to sputter, "Bobby and Sam, it's obvious... you, me, Emma,
LeBeau... Joe *had* to be, he was hooked on Rogue... Shatterstar, that
whole alien culture thing... But that's only eight."

Pete was gaping, inhaling air in little breaths to try and stop laughing.
He'd almost calmed down when a shocked expression crossed his drunken
features. Blood-shot eyes opened wide, and his mouth formed a comical
little O. "It can't be..."

Kitty looked cross. "Share, Wisdom. It's not nice to-- what's the word?"

"Gawp, maybe... or do the whassit... But that's beside the point! We've
found the secret of the X-Men!"

Kitty looked even crosser. "Well, *share* it for cripes' sake!"

Pete had a smug look on his face as he waved the paper in her face. "Well..
who don't we have writ down, eh Kitty? Who'd we forget? The founder of the
X-Men. All you spandex-clad lot, your hero. Your teacher. Mentor..."

Kitty's eyes went as wide as saucers, and she felt a laugh burbling up in
her chest. "You don't mean?..."

They stared at each other, and then both yelled, "Xavier!" before falling
into helpless giggles again. It was irreverent. It was Impossible with a
capital... something letter. Kitty just couldn't see it, and yet...

She almost fell off her chair, she was laughing so hard. Pete slapped the
table again, and cried out, "Gimme one for my baby, and one more for the
roaaad!"