Okay, this is my latest attempt at X-Men fan-fiction. If you're confused by what's going on, it's a follow-up for "Stolen Kiss". Also, this is a story that has sex in it, so if that bothers you, please don't read it. As well, all the characters depicted here, with the exception of the amorous mailman, are the sole property of Marvel and I'm being very naughty stealing them. Please don't sue me, I'm poor. Finally, I've provided a bit of a bibliography at the end to show which issues I refer to.

Sex Warning.

Hope you enjoy.


 
LOST INSIDE

Lori McDonald
November, 1995

"Hope is your survival
A captive path I lead

No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a long long time
No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a thousand years..."

I will find you- Clannad
 
 
He opened his eyes to teddy bears. Both large and small, they sat next to striped giraffes, purple tigers and a dozen other stuffed animals.

For a long minute he just lay there, still half asleep, and wondered where he was. The answer came to him eventually. He was in Rogue's room.

Remy LeBeau bolted upright in the double bed and stared around in surprise. Everything was as he'd seen it many times before, from the toys to the lacy curtains on the window, but this was the first time he'd seen it from her bed. It looked as though he'd spent the night, but there was no sign she'd spent it with him.

Merde, Woulda been nice f'r her t' be here. Not dat dat too likely of course.

Muttering to himself in disappointment while he wondered why he'd been sleeping in her room in the first place, Remy pushed the duvet back and looked down at himself.

Mon dieu! I musta been drinkin' somethin' real strong t' put dis on.

He was wearing one of the long shirts Rogue normally slept in, a pink T-shirt with another teddy bear on the front. It came halfway down his legs, which were bare.

Even though he was alone, Remy blushed as he pulled it off and looked for some of his own clothes. For some reason, he couldn't find them, and finally had to look for something of Rogue's to wear.

Because of her mutant power to drain another person's memory, psyche, and abilities at the merest skin touch, Rogue normally wore uniforms that covered her from the neck down. Still, Remy managed to find a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that somehow fit him perfectly. Not bothering to dig out a pair of socks, he left Rogues's room and headed for his own.

He passed another X-Man, Storm, in the hallway. Briefly he worried that she'd be angry he was in Rogue's room without her so early in the morning, but she smiled at him instead.

"Good morning" she said, then paused. "Are you sure you are wearing enough?"

Remy glanced out the window at the sunny sky and shrugged. "Sure. Not plannin' on goin' noplace."

Storm blinked in surprise, and stepped well out of the way as he continued past her. Wonder what eatin' her? The Cajun mused as he left the women's wing of the mansion the two X-Men teams lived in. He passed Psylocke as well, and just like Storm the telepath moved aside when he passed. What wit ev'rybody? Not like I smell or nutin'.

As he walked, he heard the doorbell ring and trotted down to open the front door. "Can I help you?" he asked the postman who stood there.

To Remy's surprise, the man's face lit up at the sight of him. "Um, I uh..." he stammered, blushing.

Remy raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was supposed to do now. The postman was acting as if he were in love with him. "Uh, can I help you?" he repeated uncertainly.

The postman smiled, and thrust a box at him. "Would you please sign for this?"

Remy looked at the box. It was for Hank McCoy, so he guessed it was some sort of new scientific equipment. "Sure." He put the box on the table and signed his name on a form handed to him.

The postman sighed as he watched. "I - I hope you don't find this too forward, b-but you're very beautiful." He turned even redder. "I mean, I mean you have the most incredible hair."

Hair? Remy finished signing his name and pushed the clipboard back at the postman. "T'anks, but I'm not int'rested."

Disappointed, the man took the clipboard back, but as he did so his hand brushed against the Cajun's.

Gambit screamed, his voice unnaturally shrill and high pitched. He was vaguely aware of the man falling as he threw himself back, crashing right through the wall of the foyer to the floor of another room, clutching his head as he continued to scream that unfamiliar wail.

He couldn't tell who he was. He was Remy LeBeau, mutant thief and X-Man. He was Philip Baker, middle aged postal worker and bachelor. Voices and memories that weren't his own filled his mind.

Hey, mom, how come we have to move? I like it in Idaho.

All right, we won the big game! We're going to the state championships!

I like postal work, Bob. It's a lot better than being behind a desk.

Wow, that is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen! That white streak in her hair couldn't be real.

"No, no, no, no... Mon Dieu, Saints help me! Stop it!"

He thrashed on the floor, overwhelmed, his flailing limbs knocking chairs over, crushing vases, and destroying bookcases. He was Remy, he was Philip, he was Remy, he was Philip...

"Help me!" he screamed.

He heard footsteps running up and something blue and heavy sat on him, holding him down. Voices spoke.

"What the hell is happening here?"

"Goddess, is he dead?"

"No, just unconscious darlin', but..."

"Rogue, calm down! This is unnecessary!"

Terrified beyond reason, Remy/Philip fought against the Beast, almost kicking him off several times. The violation his mind was undergoing pushed him to the edge of insanity, but all he could hear was his teammates reassuring someone else.

"Rogue, please stop fighting us. We only want to help you."

#Please, Rogue, don't do this. You-# The telepathic voice which had touched him broke off in surprise and he heard her speak out loud.

"This isn't Rogue. It's Gambit."

The others gasped, but the words cut right to Remy's soul. His head turned to the side and he saw his reflection in a broken mirror that lay on its side against the wall.

It wasn't his own face that stared at him. Instead he saw the features of a beautiful young woman, her face terrified, her hair a luxurious mass of auburn curls with a white stripe running through them. Her eyes were red on black.

The Cajun remembered who he was. All of it. He was Remy LeBeau, an ex-thief and now member of the X-Men. He was a mutant able to charge any inanimate object to explode with kinetic energy. He was also Rogue's victim, his psyche, powers and memories permanently absorbed by her, his body dead from the shock of it. For the rest of his life, he would be bound to the mind of the one woman he loved more than any other in the world.

Shrieking in horror and grief, Gambit fled into the darkness of Rogue's subconscious, where no one would ever be able to find him.

Rogue sat at the kitchen table, wrapped in a big fluffy robe while she sipped at a mug of black coffee.

Storm sat across from her with a look of concern on her face, most of the other X-Men ranged beyond her. "Are you all right now, child?" she asked.

"Ah'm fine, ah guess."

"What happened, darlin'?"

She looked up at Wolverine, his face rough, but his eyes concerned. She smiled faintly.

"Ah guess ah was just too tired after we all got back from that mission last night and Remy woke up insteada me. It happened with Carol Danvers once, when she was in mah mind. Ah was really tired and when she took over, ah couldn't control her."

Bobby Drake looked at her in confusion. "But Gambit thought he was in his own body."

Rogue sighed. "So did Carol. It had ta be pointed out ta her before she realized it."

"While Remy ended up unintentionally touching someone and absorbing their psyche because he didn't know he could." Beast nodded thoughtfully. "Fascinating."

Rogue sighed again, her gaze fixed on the table. "Poor Remy. Ah understand how he feels. It was like when ah first used mah powers way back when." She sipped her coffee. "Ya don't know who yah are, ya got all these strange memories an' voices screamin' in your head until ya don't know which are your own. Feels like you're goin' crazy. No wonder Remy panicked." She looked at one man who'd so far remained silent. "Professor, how come Remy forgot he was in mah body? Ah mean, he knows this."

Xavier looked at her thoughtfully. "I'm not certain. It could be he was as affected by your exhaustion as you were. He may have forgotten."

Bobby barked out a laugh. "He forgot he's spent the last four months in a woman's body? What is he, stupid?"

Everyone else in the room glared at him and he ducked his head, apologizing.

"We don't know exactly how Rogue's power works," Xavier explained. "Gambit may not have unlimited access to her mind. If he's no longer connected to the memories of how he got in her mind, he'll believe he's in his old body and act accordingly."

Cyclops frowned from where he leaned against the door jamb. "Which, given Rogue's powers, could be disastrous."

Rogue took a deep gulp of her coffee, the heat of it not affecting her through her invulnerability. Storm smiled at her reassuringly while Xavier put a hand on her shoulder.

"Can you feel Gambit's presence now?"

"No. Ah- ah was wonderin' if y'all could maybe help me with that. Ah mean, when Carol was in mah head, ah didn't like her an' we pretty much avoided each other. But with Remy..." She swallowed nervously. "Ah- ah mean ah-"

"You love him," Logan finished for her.

She blushed. "Yes, ah do. Ah feel empty when he isn't with me an' ah'm worried that he's lost somewhere in mah mind, not knowin' what's happened ta him." A tear slid down her cheek. "Ah have ta help him." Her voice softened. "Especially since ah killed his body."

Everyone started talking at once, trying to reassure her that it wasn't her fault, but one voice sounded out louder than the rest.

"Ain't yer fault, darlin'," Logan told her.

She glared at him. "Ah kissed him!"

He shrugged. "So?"

"So?! Ah took all of him, everything he had. Then his body just wasted away until it died!" She started to cry.

The others were silent as Logan cocked his head to one side. "Does the Cajun blame you fer that?"

She sniffed.

"Does he?"

"N-no."

"Then why are you blamin' yourself?"

Rogue wiped her eyes. "Because ah'm afraid, with what's happened now, he will."

Remy LeBeau had no idea where he was.

Wha' happened? He wondered as he looked around. He was standing on a street in a city that was eerily silent, even of wind. There were no lights other than a glow from above and he had to peer through the darkness to try and see any signs of life. There were none.

Merde. Where am I?

Cautiously, he walked up to one of the buildings, his footsteps the only sound in the silence. The shop he stopped in front of seemed wrong, somehow unfinished. Curious, he looked in a window and saw his reflection.

He looked the same as he'd always looked. Long, unruly reddish brown hair, handsome features and red on black eyes. He was dressed in what he wore in combat. A skin tight black body suit with short, thick fuchsia stripes up the sides of his legs and arms and a half mask that left his ears, face and hair free. Over the body suit, he wore silver knee boots and fuchsia coloured torso armour made of kevlar to protect his chest and back, as well as his ever-present brown trenchcoat.

Well, wherever I am, I still de same at least. Wonder how I got here? Don' 'member much a anyt'ing.

He tapped the window to see if it was an illusion, but it felt real to him. Not that that meant anything. The Danger Room he trained in used holograms that were solid. Maybe that was where he was now.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Professeur, Cyclops, can anybody hear me?"

His voice echoed away from him, then the ground shook. Once, then again and again. Remy backed up while footsteps as loud as cannonshots came towards him and pulled out a playing card as a giant came around the corner.

Even though he'd never seen him before, Gambit recognized him immediately from Xavier's files. It was Cain Marko, aka the Unstoppable Juggernaut, the Professor's half brother and known as Unstoppable because he was. Marko was dressed in body armour, gauntlets and knuckle protectors, as well as a low, sloping helmet that protected his head and neck. But he looked washed out somehow, as grey and colourless as the buildings.

He looked at Gambit and his face twisted with rage.

"You!" he thundered. "You got that bitch's smell all over you. I'm gonna tear you apart!"

He charged. His heavy feet cracked the pavement as he lunged at the Cajun, but Remy leaped out of the way and threw the card, now charged with glowing kinetic energy. It exploded against his chest without effect.

Marco laughed. "That the best you can do?"

Remy was grinning, his body surging with adrenaline. "Not hardly, homme." His wrist twisted, four more cards slid out of his sleeve and he threw them all in quick succession. They detonated against the Juggernaut with concussive force, but he shrugged them off like mosquito bites.

Uh oh.

"Well, that was pathetic." Marco smiled. "Get ready to be a red smear, boy."

He swung his arm, thicker than the Cajun's entire body and Remy leaped over it, flipping upside down and twisting over to land back on his feet.

"Too slow. Guess I get t' stay nice 'n pink, neh?" he jibed and threw a card at the road below Marco. "Or maybe a nice tanned brown at de most."

"What?!" Juggernaut stumbled, but didn't go down. "You're fast, kid. Guess I'll just have to be faster."

His hands dug deep into the ground and he tore an entire section of the road away. "Here, catch," he yelled and hurled it at the Cajun.

Merde! Desperate, Remy threw cards at the flying rubble, shattering part of it, then leaped out of the way of the rest. Almost.

The edge of the debris caught Gambit across the back of the shoulders, throwing him painfully to the ground, the wind knocked out of him.

"Guess you weren't fast enough, huh?"

A huge hand grabbed his coat, and suddenly he was lifted off the ground, his feet dangling a metre above the street.

"Say bye-bye, punk."

"Bye-bye, asshole."

Remy put his arms straight up and fell out of the trenchcoat. The second his feet touched the ground, he ran out of the Juggernaut's reach.

I can' fight dis guy, he realized. He way too powerful. Mus' be some way t' stop him. He tried to remember what Xavier's files said about defeating the Juggernaut, but for some reason he had trouble remembering things, as though most of his memory was beyond his reach. It was somet'ing about... about... De helmet! His weakness be dere.

He looked back up. Marco had finished shredding his coat and was advancing on him again. Remy threw a few cards at his head, but they had no more effect than the earlier ones.

Oh, great. Guess I better try de direct approach.

Gambit charged the Juggernaut.

"What the hell?!"

Marco reared back in surprise as the Cajun ran up and leaped, turning over in midair until he landed on Juggernaut's head, balanced perfectly on his hands, the rest of his body stretched out above him. Marco tried to reach up and grab him, but before he could, Remy charged the helmet and continued the flip, launching himself off Juggernaut's back. He landed in a crouch, turned and threw another card.

The Juggernaut's head boomed in an explosion of energy. Marco fell to one knee as Remy stood, a smile on his face.

"Guess dat's dat, neh, homme?"

Slowly the smoke cleared and Marco knelt there, his helmet gone and his blond hair mussed up, but otherwise unharmed.

"Whoops."

"YOU ARE DEAD!" Marco threw himself at the Cajun, far faster than before, and Gambit barely dodged out of his grasp.

His weakness is telepaths, he raged at himself. You fool, how could you forget dat?! Maybe I can lose him in one of dese buildings.

The Juggernaut right behind him, Remy raced at the nearest building. He had a brief glimpse of a sign saying "Genosha Cafe" before he crashed through the front window. The next thing he knew, he was skidding across grass to stop at the base of a tree.

Confused, Gambit looked around. There was no sign of the Juggernaut, or the city. He was at the base of a grey-green tree that hung over a wide, lazy river he recognized immediately, though it was as leached of colour as the city had been.

Maman Mississippi?! How I get here?

Slowly, he climbed to his feet with the help of a rope that hung from one of the tree branches.

How...? What- what happening t' me?

As he stood, the edge of his trenchcoat brushed against his legs and he stared down at it in horror.

Mon dieu...

Frightened, the Cajun looked at the coat he'd seen destroyed and wondered what was going on, how he could escape it. Most of all, he wondered why the Juggernaut's final words to him sounded so much like they'd hit home.

"All right, Rogue, I want you to relax."

Rogue lay back on the couch and tried to do so, then abruptly sat up and looked at the three people who shared the room with her.

"Um, what exactly are y'all gonna do ta me?"

Xavier leaned back in his hoverchair. "We are going to help you enter your mind so that you can find Remy. Then, Betsy, Jean and I will act as anchors for you to find your way back."

She hesitated nervously. "Why does it take three of ya ta do that? Ah mean, y'all are the best telepaths in the world."

Jean smiled comfortingly, her red-gold hair shining in the mid-morning light that came through the window. "You're our friend, Rogue. It only takes one of us to do this, true, but having all three of us here means we don't have to fight over who's the one." She winked and Rogue blushed.

Betsy leaned forward, her almond shaped eyes sincere. "Rogue, are you certain you don't want us to go instead of you? It'll be much easier for us to find him."

The young woman shook her head. "No, ah gotta do it maself. Ah owe it ta him."

Xavier came forward and put a gloved hand on her forehead. At his touch, she lay back down.

"Professor?"

He removed his hand. "Yes, Rogue?"

"What will ah find in mah mind? Ah mean, the last time ah was in there, ah ran into the psychic residue of all the people ah ever used mah power on. They weren't none too happy ta see me neither."

"I don't know," he admitted. "The landscape of each person's mind is influenced by their own experiences. I couldn't predict how yours would be."

"Oh." Rogue sucked on her lip. "Do y'all think Remy is all right?"

"I don't know that either. He doesn't have access to your body's energies like you do, so the more he tries to do, the weaker he'll get." She swallowed loudly. "Be careful, Rogue. A psychic death is as permanent as a real one, for you or for him."

Worried, Rogue leaned back and tried to relax while the three telepaths sent her inside herself.

Not sure what else to do, Gambit followed the river. By this time, he was sure someone was intentionally doing this to him.

Not dat I can take dese subtle clues any other way, he smiled.

From the forests bordering the river, he heard a sound, and immediately dropped behind a boulder. The bushes parted and people came out onto the riverbank, hundreds of them, all as shadowy and grey as the Juggernaut had been. Gambit's eyes widened as he recognized some of them.

Magneto, Loki, the Phalanx, several Genoshan guards, the Brood, Mister Sinister and others, many of whom looked to be ordinary humans, though all their faces were filled with rage of a kind he'd never seen before. They were led by Sabretooth.

He was sniffing the air. "I got his scent. Boy smells like that thief does. Gonna rip his throat out with my teeth."

There was a chorous of agreement and Creed laughed, flexing his claws. "Let's get him dead, and make the bitch pay."

Merde! Gambit hunkered down lower. Dis can' be happenin'.

Still, he didn't want to test that hypothesis, not after already facing the Juggernaut. Quietly he crept away from the army, his feet soundless on the dry soil.

That meant nothing to Sabretooth. Gambit had gone less than fifty feet when he spotted him right through a bramble bush.

"There he is!" he roared and the whole mass of them charged.

Remy fled. Not thinking, not fighting, he just ran, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to outrun enough power to level the planet. It didn't do any good. The Cajun was fast, but there were some in the crowd who could go half a mile in a second. He'd barely taken two steps when Northstar of the now-defunct Alpha Flight appeared beside him.

"Bonjour," he said and tripped him.

Gambit hit the ground, hard. Before he could escape, they were on him, punching, kicking and hitting him with the mindless brutality of any mob.

Remy felt ribs crack as he went down under their blows. A kick to his arm broke it and blood ran from his nose. "Stop it!" he yelled, but they didn't listen and they were too close for him to use his powers effectively. Distantly, he realized he was going to die. Even then, the beating didn't stop. All he could do was curl up, try to protect his head and take it.

When they'd done, Gambit felt himself lifted by someone. The next few minutes were a blur, but when he came to, he was tied to a metal cross above his tormentors. They were trying to decide how to kill him.

"Kill the Genejoke!"

"Rip his head off."

"Cut his guts open."

"Aw, just shoot him a few times."

Oh, Saints, he thought. Dis can' be happenin'. Please, jus' let me wake up.

Slowly, he forced painfully swollen eyes to open and looked at them. Magneto saw him and spoke.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" He almost sounded curious.

Remy struggled to speak with a broken jaw. "Why... do dis...?"

"For revenge. We can't attack her, so we've made you our target."

"Her... who?" It was getting hard to stay awake, but he had the distinct impression that if he didn't, he'd never wake up again.

Magneto smiled almost comfortingly. "The one who damned us here, of course."

Remy wanted to fight the pain and weariness and question this more, but a familiar sound interrupted him; a blast of red energy from a man dressed all in blue that he recognized very well.

Cyclops...

Almost all of the X-Men, both past and present were there, though he could only focus on a few of them. Gambit watched Kitty Pryde phase through her enemies while Nightcrawler teleported around them, Colossus tossed them around and Wolverine clawed his way through the middle. Over it all flew a mohawked Storm, lightning arcing from her fingers into the mob. Well over a dozen X-Men fought as a team to reach him, but as they called out to each other, he realized something.

Dey don' know who I am. Dey're jus' fightin' 'cause I need help.

It made him feel good somehow, in spite of the hurt. That someone would help him without wanting something in return.

Doggedly, the X-Men fought to reach him. "We have to free the prisoner!" Cyclops was yelling. "X-Men, forward!"

Explosions rocked the cross. Then he felt hands tugging on his bonds and turned his head to see a very young Kitty Pryde untying him. She was as grey as the others.

"Don't worry," she told him with a smile. "We'll have you out of here in a jiffy. Then the X-Men'll get you home."

Home...

The last knot came loose and the Cajun pitched to the ground, all his thoughts on how badly he wished he were at home, safe.

Rogue opened her eyes to find she was still in the library of the X-Mansion. Jean and Betsy were gone, but Professor Xavier still sat beside her, though now he was in a regular wheelchair instead of his hoverchair. Suddenly, she realized both he and the room were an empty grey.

"Wha... where am ah?"

Xavier smiled. "In the depths of your own mind."

She blinked. "Why are y'all here? Ah thought ah said ah wanted ta look for Remy maself."

His smile broadened. "I'm here the same as all of the people you ever used your absorbing powers on are." He saw her look. "I believe you once heard it referred to as a psychic residue, or, I believe, 'scar tissue'."

Rogue sat up slowly, her tone cautious. "Ah remember. Ah also remember all mah 'scar tissue' gangin' up an' tryin' ta rip me ta shreds. How come y'all are bein' so nice?"

Xavier wheeled himself over to the window to look out at a grey lawn. "The remnants here are not alive. We are memories, in a landscape of those places which had meaning, good or bad, in your life. And, as memories, what we remember most clearly is what we felt when you absorbed us. For most of us, that was fear, anger and hate."

"That must be why they were so nasty."

"Yes. In my case, I was unconscious when you absorbed me and I understand the necessity of it. Most of the X-Men were also absorbed of their own free will."

"So ah got allies." She pursed her lips. "What about Remy? What is he?"

Xavier sighed. "We are remnants, but he is real. The only real being in here other than yourself. We all sensed his presence the moment you touched him, and we knew when he became lost among us. He's already been attacked twice, but so far he's been lucky enough to elude his captors. They'll kill him if they catch him."

Rogue was horrified. She wanted to fly out of there right then and start searching, but she needed more information.

"Ah- ah don't understand! When ah was here last an' met Carol Danvers, she was real too, but the others left her alone. They even obeyed her when she told them ta leave me alone."

"That is because Carol had full access to your mind and memories. She could affect the landscape of this place as much as you can. Also, they considered her to be one of them. Your lover doesn't even have access to some of his own memories and he has so much of your psychic 'scent' on him that, to them, killing him would feel like killing you."

Rogue blushed at the use of the word lover. "Wh-why is Remy different from Carol?"

"When you absorbed Carol, she fought you with all her being and maintained her independence in your mind because of it. Remy didn't struggle at all. All he has for himself is what you've given him, and you haven't given very much."

She bowed her head, ashamed. "Ah have ta find him." She looked back up at him. "How do ah find him?"

"This is your mind, Rogue. Will yourself to him."

"Um, why do ah get the feelin' that ain't as simple as it sounds?"

He smiled. "It isn't, but it's the only way. This place is as big as your life. You won't find him otherwise."

"Right." She leaned back against the couch. "Ah better get started then." She smiled at him. "Thanks for the help, sugah."

"You're welcome."

Rogue closed her eyes and concentrated.

Remy woke up lying on his back in a big, four poster bed. There was a woman lying up against him, her legs entangled with his and her head resting on his shoulder. His nostrils flared as he caught the achingly familiar scent of her perfume.

What de...? It can't be!

Suddenly, she lifted her head and kissed him on the lips. "Good morning, Sleepyhead," she smiled.

"Belladonna?!"

She leaned on her elbow in puzzlement. "Who else would it be, chere?"

Gambit's last memory of his ex-wife was of her trying to kill him. Wary of a trap, he rolled out of the bed to his feet, backing away from the assassin. Belladonna looked at him appreciatively and he realized they were both nude just as he realized all his wounds were gone. He felt very weak, but otherwise fine.

What is goin' on here?

"Mm," Belladonna purred as she got up and walked towards him. "You are lookin' so good. Jus' incroyable."

She ran a fingernail up his abdomen and lowered her head to lick one of his nipples. Remy felt his penis start to stiffen and stepped away. Grabbing a sheet from the bed, he wrapped it around himself.

"Please, don', Belle. Dis isn' right."

Belle glared at him in disappointment and anger. "How it not be right?" She demanded. "You be my husband!"

He shook his head, confused yet still drawn to her. Even though she was grey, she was still beautiful and he'd been so much in love with her once.

"We not married no more," he told her halfheartedly. "You annulled de marriage."

"So?" she lashed out, her tone cold and cruel, too much like the Belle who'd sent her assassins to murder him. "You not care if a woman married b'fore. You fuck anyt'ing wit' legs, won' you?" She circled him, suddenly fully dressed in full armour, a bare sword in her hand. "Only t'ing you don' do is leave ugly li'l versions of y'self ever'where." She sneered. "What de matter, chere? Shootin' blanks?"

Oh, yes. This was the Belladonna he remembered. Calculating, petty, always inflicting cruelty on anyone who didn't let her get her way. This was one of the biggest reasons why he left her. He'd loved her, and she'd never hesitated to use that love to control him.

He still loved her, though, and her words hurt. "Please, Belle. I don' wan' t' fight. I need t' find out what happened t' me."

She smiled coldly and paced closer. "Don' you remember? No, you don', do you, chere? You still be so fucking much in de dark about ev'ryt'ing."

Remy backed away from that sword. The sheet was too entrapping for him to fight in, yet he felt curiously loath to shed it and let her see him again.

"What you talkin' 'bout?" he demanded cautiously.

Her smile broadened. "Oh, jus' li'l t'ings, like how your 'father' only 'dopted you 'cause he knew you were a mutant an' he wanted your blood runnin' in his clan."

"Dat's not true!" he yelled.

"Isn' it? I t'ink it be more true dan you wanna admit!"

Stumbling on the sheet, Remy tried to get away from her.

No, no, it can' be true! She lyin'!

He'd almost reached the floor when a blast of energy hit him in the back, burning his skin almost black. He hit the floor in agony, then felt that pain increase as Belle's knee wedged between his shoulder blades. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled his head up. Her sword blade pressed against his throat.

"Why?" he croaked.

He felt her shrug. "You're not even my real target. But you'll do."

Desperately, Gambit tried to get his hands between the blade and his skin before she cut his throat. Then she stopped.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Rogue flew through the window and crashed into Belladonna, knocking them both away from Gambit. She'd already blinked to several different places, following the haphazard path Remy'd taken through her mind. He wasn't entirely powerless, she'd learned. He could change his location at will when he had to, though he'd left nothing but chaos behind him. She'd flown over at least one battle, though it's participants fled before she could identify them.

There'd been no real sign of Remy, though, until she'd appeared before a big, wide-windowed house, his home when he'd lived in New Orleans. She'd known he was inside then. She could see his colour standing out against the grey from a hundred feet up in the air.

Rogue slammed both Belladonna and herself against the wall, but the assassin recovered instantly. She twisted so Rogue's shoulder took most of the impact and used her own momentum to break free and roll away.

"I was hopin' you'd show up," she taunted. "I wanted t' finish dis proper-like."

Rogue risked a glance at Remy. His back was a mess and he was coughing, but he'd managed to climb to his hands and knees and looked mostly all right. Rogue started towards him.

"Get away from him! He belong t' me!"

Rogue turned to see Belladonna swing her sword at her neck. Sidestepping, she grabbed the sword by the blade and snapped it in two.

"Why are y'all doin' this?" she asked. "Why try ta kill Remy?"

Belle grinned at her. Beyond her, Rogue could see Gambit, kneeling on the floor, watching them both.

"For revenge, t' get back at you for stealin' my mind when I couldn' defend m'self."

Behind her, Remy's face turned white and Rogue despaired inside. Remy hadn't known she'd used her powers on his wife. She'd never had the courage to tell him. She'd promised herself she would, but she never thought he'd find out like this.

"It was an accident," she pleaded. "Ah never meant for it ta happen! Ah just wanted ta know what it'd be like ta... be with Remy. Ah never meant for ya ta get hurt!"

Belle glanced back at Remy and her grin broadened, but he barely saw her. He just stared at Rogue's stricken face, too numb to speak out loud. His thoughts, however, were in turmoil.

How could you do dis? I trusted you. I never trust anybody b'fore like I do you. Why you do dis?! He shook his head mutely.

Both women seemed to realize what he was thinking. Rogue was crying as she reached a hand towards him from across the room.

"Remy! Ah'm sorry!"

Belle wasn't finished. "So you just wanted my mem'ries of makin' love t' Remy, did ya? You li'l slut." Rogue reeled back like she'd been slapped and Gambit felt a pang of compassion for her. "You condemn me here for sex." Belle sneered, then smiled at Remy. She walked over to him and tousled his hair, then ripped the sheet away from him. "Well, take a real good look den, chere. Is he worth it?"

Tired as he was, Remy didn't have the energy to cover himself, even if he'd wanted to. Belle's plans weren't working as well as she'd hoped, for he could see Rogue's suffering and loneliness and his heart went out to her.

"Don' listen t' her, chere," he gasped. "She jus' tryin' t' play tricks wit' your head."

"What an appropriate choice of words," Belle beamed. "'Cause what she done t' me ain't near what she done t' you, my darlin' Remy." Rogue gasped but Belle knelt before him and continued, staring him right in the face as she did so.

"Please," Rogue begged. "Don't tell him like this!"

Belle ignored her. "You know where you be, chere?" she asked. "You be in de bitch's mind." Rogue groaned. "Her dumpin' ground for all de leftovers of de people she attacked."

He blinked. "But-"

"You ain' real, boy. You jus' a psychic scab in her head. You see, she not happy jus' takin' my mem'ries. She stole yours too."

Remy's blood ran cold as the barest of fragmented memories came to him, just enough to know she wasn't lying. Even if they hadn't, Rogue's crying proved her right.

"She drained you dry, Remy. Took ev'ry mem'ry, thought, hope an' dream." She almost sounded sympathetic. "An' did you e'er wonder why you so much brighter dan de rest of us? I still got de real me walkin' in de world. She sucked you so empty dat all of you is here. She didn' e'en leave 'nough for your body t' survive. You be dead, boy."

It was the same thing the Juggernaut said. As it upset him then, it horrified him now.

No, dis... I can'... she wouldn'... I'm not... I can' be dead! Not dead, not... no... Saints, no...

"Hurt her," Belle whispered. "Punish her for murdering you."

No, no, no, no, no... yes! No! Please, dis jus' be a nightmare. No, it not... I can' be dead... can' be... Gotta get out...

"Do it!" Belle cried.

"No!" he screamed and abruptly disappeared.

Rogue fell to her knees and stared at the spot where Gambit had been. Belle looked back at her with a grin.

"Was it somet'ing I said?"

"YOU BITCH!"

Rogue flew right at the assassin, caught her around the waist and rocketed them both outside through the french doors. The house dwindled below them and vanished.

"Let me go!"

Belladonna brought her hands down on Rogue's shoulders and sent a shock of power through her. Rogue screeched and dropped her.

The two women floated in midair, glaring at one another.

"Y'all are heartless!" Rogue cried.

Belle arched an eyebrow delicately. "Is dat all you can say? I t'ought dat absorbin' me would at least make you a li'l smart."

Enraged, Rogue rushed her, but Belladonna evaded her easily and sent another twisting bolt of energy into her.

"You may be stronger dan me, chile, but I be quicker an' I be willin' t' kill. I bet you ain't."

Rogue was too stunned to answer. She'd actually felt Belladonna's blast and there were spots dancing before her eyes. Dizzily, she turned and tried to attack again, but Belle just pulled the same trick. No matter what she tried, she couldn't get close to her.

"You are pathetic," Belle told her. "You ain' even worth killin'."

With those words, Rogue understood something. "Ya can't kill me, can' ya? If mah mind is destroyed, so are you."

"True, but I can delay you." She chuckled. "You saw how tired Remy gettin'. He couldn' form clothes or heal himself no more. How long you t'ink he gonna last against de next person t' find him?"

"No!" she wailed. Another blast hit her, and the next thing she knew, she'd slammed face first into the ground. She heard Belle laughing above as she forced herself to her hands and knees. "Ah ain't gonna fail Remy this time, an' ah ain't gonna waste time with you!"

When Rogue absorbed Gambit's mind, she got his powers as well. Now she spun and threw the rock she'd grabbed, charged with kinetic energy, at the assassin.

The rock hit her and exploded. Belle shrieked in pain and then Rogue was on her. She grabbed the assassin's arm and spun in place, whipping her around rapidly. Belle became a screaming blur, then a missile when Rogue hurled her at the ground.

Belladonna crashed into the dirt where Rogue fell, then the ground itself formed into a giant hand to hold her.

"Wh- what you doin'?" She looked up to see Rogue, suddenly as tall as the sky, standing above her.

Rogue sighed. "Yah know, y'all kept me so off-balance, ah forgot this was mah mind." She wrapped the screaming assassin completely in stone. "Maybe ah'll let you out in a few years."

By the time she turned her back, she'd already forgotten about the woman. Instead, her attention was all focused on finding her way to the man she loved.

Remy was sleeping under a tree on the X-Mansion's estate. His back was still burned and he was still nude, but she heaved a sigh of relief when she landed before him. As she did, her foot came down on something that sizzled and she looked down to see a still-smoking cigar lying in the grass. There was no sign of its owner though. Still, she smiled as she breathed her thanks to the forest and mansion. Then she turned her attention to Gambit.

It broke her heart to see him this way, yet she was so glad to see him at all. Even dirty and wounded, he was beautiful and she felt the same desire that led her to first kiss him rise in her again. Her face flushed, she ran a gloved finger from his knee up his calf to his abdomen, then up his chest to his face. Even asleep, his penis twitched in response to her and began to rise. Fascinated, Rogue watched it lift fully, then shook her head.

"Behave yaself, sugah," she told herself softly.

Suddenly, Remy's eyes opened. He blinked rapidly a few times and looked at her hand on his cheek. Suddenly embarrassed, she moved it and Gambit sat up unsteadily. He glanced down at himself and lifted an eyebrow.

"At least somet'ing still work," he muttered.

Rogue giggled, bur when he didn't even smile, her voice trailed off nervously and she moved a few feet back. Pulling off her jacket, she handed it to him and he covered himself with it.

They were both silent for a minute that felt like an eternity. Sure that he hated her and afraid to have it confirmed, Rogue didn't know what to say. For his part, Gambit seemed to be waiting for her to make the first move.

Finally, Rogue realized she had to say something, but there were only two words she could get past the heart- sized lump in her throat.

"H- Hi, sugah."

"Hi."

She bit her lip as he became quiet again. "R- Remy?" She stammered. He looked at her. "Ah'm so sorry."

The Cajun glanced away at the grey fields and sky. "Yah, well, I guess dat mean Belle was tellin' de truth, neh?"

She buried her face in her hands. "This is all mah fault," she cried. "Ah _never_ meant ta hurt ya."

"Dat don' really change nothin', chere. I'm still here."

Gently, she reached out to hold his hand in both of her own. "Sugah, please believe me. If there was anything ah could do ta change this, ah would."

Remy hesitated, his eyes locked on her face, then entwined his fingers with hers. "I know dat, chere," he sighed and her heart soared. "I jus'... can' 'member wha' happened. Can' 'member much a anyt'ing." Abruptly, he flashed her a wide grin. "I mean, dis is pretty upsetting. Dere I am, wantin' t' kiss you e'er since we met on Muir Island, and' den when I do, I can' 'member how good it was." Both eyebrows raised. "I'm assumin' I did kiss you an' we didn' jus' butt heads in de Danger Room."

Rogue bit down on a rebellious snigger. "Actually, ah kissed you."

He blinked. "No kiddin'? Now I really wan' t' 'member dis."

She rocked back and crossed her legs. The Professor says that y'all don't always have access to mah memories, which is where yours are stored, so ya can only remember stuff some of the time."

He stretched, groaning as he irritated the burned skin on his back. "Dat sucks." He paused. "How long I been in here, chere?"

"Four months."

The Cajun looked down. "Four months... An' my real body is dead, neh?"

She took a deep breath. "Yes."

He settled back as comfortably as he could against the tree, not noticing when Rogue's jacket slipped down beside him.

"Rogue, did we ever talk 'bout what happened?"

Rogue looked away. "No. Ya never were much for talkin'."

"Yeah, well..." Abruptly, he slammed his fist back against the tree. "Merde! I don' know how I s'pposed t' deal wit' dis! I wan' t' 'member!"

"Ah don't know how ta help ya, Remy."

He scratched his head. "Well, it your brain, chere. Can' you give me my mem'ries back?"

"How?"

Remy shrugged. "I dunno. You control ev'ryt'ing in here, no reason you can' control your powers too. Just do what you did t' me b'fore backwards."

There was no way she'd believe it could work. It couldn't, could it? Rogue thought of stone closing around Belladonna and bit her lip. If she could control the environment of her mind, why couldn't she do the same with her powers, even - eliminate them?

Out of the corner of her eye, Rogue looked at Remy's penis. It was still partially erect, surrounded by dark, coarse hair. Blushing furiously, she turned away.

"Chere?"

"Ah would give it a try, Sugah. Ah'm just afraid ah'll end up hurtin' ya again."

He leaned forward. "You let me worry 'bout dat, chere. You just have faith in y'self."

Rogue stared deep into his eyes, amazed at how willing he still was to trust her. A smile tugged at her lips while she blinked away tears. She loved this man so much, needed him so much...

"All right, Remy," she whispered.

While the Cajun watched silently, she peeled one of her gloves off, concentrating all the time on controlling powers that had been uncontrollable since she was thirteen. When she was ready, she moved closer to him and reached out to touch his face.

Remy shook his head. "No, chere."

"What? But you said-"

He rose up on his knees and looked down at her. "Hey, if dis don' work, I wan' at least one mem'ry of bein' kissed by you."

Nervously, afraid and eager for a hundred reasons that didn't have anything to do with her powers, Rogue got on her own knees to face him. He smiled, and she gasped as his fingers traced over her collarbone and breast. She could feel it even through her uniform. His arms went around her and she felt his erect penis press against her lower belly just before his lips came down to meet her own.

There was no draining sensation, nothing being taken from him. Instead, Remy felt as though his whole world were coming back. Memories flowed into him like wine into a glass and he held Rogue more tightly, deepening the kiss as he remembered his life, before the X-Men and with them, and Rogue kissing him in the deserts of Israel. He also remembered the time he'd spent in her mind, and realized why they'd never discussed it . They'd never needed to. Being a part of her felt so right, being in a woman's body became only an inconvenience.

Don' need nothin' other dan her, he decided.

That feeling of rightness was returned now, along with his strength as Rogue tied him into her body as completely as she was. Able to draw on its resources, he felt his back heal just before her nails grazed down his spine.

His lips worked their way across her face as she sighed blissfully. He pulled back enough for her to see his smile. "You know, when I first decide I wan'ed t' get inside your body, dis wasn' quite what I had in mind."

"What did ya have in mind, sugah," she teased.

His kissed the tip of her nose. "Wanna find out?"

For a moment, she stared up at him, her eyes wide. Oh, merde, I scared her. Dat was stupid, Remy.

He opened his mouth to apologize, and abruptly hers was pressed back against it, her tongue stroking his. Her arms wrapped around him, kneading the flesh in his back. It felt incredible, and he found he wanted her more than anyone in his life.

Chere... mah amour...

"Dis might make it worth it t' not have a real body," he whispered.

She opened her eyes. "Sugah?"

He kissed her forehead. "I forgive you, chere. Forgave you a long time ago. Jus' forgot 'til now." He smiled. "I love you, Rogue."

Her grip on him tightened. "Ah love you too."

It felt so real. It didn't matter that they were inside Rogue's mind and not the physical world. Her lips were still soft against his, as was her skin when he spread his kisses down her neck to her suddenly bared breasts.

How de hell?!

"Neat trick," he murmured. She blushed and lay back against the pillows of her bed.

"Ah think mah head is tryin' ta tell me somethin'," she replied. "At least mah subconscious is."

Remy looked around at the sudden change of scenery. Mon dieu... Rogue moved beneath him, reaching up to cup his face and he decided not to say anything. Gently, he bent his head and rubbed his cheek against her breast, the stubble making a soft rasping sound. Rogue hummed, then gasped when he took her nipple into his mouth and ran his tongue over it. With the same motion, he wet the entire breast and moved to the other one. Rogue's hum turned to a sigh as she ran her hands through his shoulder-length hair.

"Remy..."

He licked his lips and looked at her. "You wan' me t' stop, chere?"

"Ah don't know. When ah came looking for ya, ah never thought any of this would be possible." A pink blush went down to her breasts. "Ah... want ya, but this is so sudden."

Gambit smiled. "I s'pose it is, but I been wantin' t' do dis for a long time. B'sides, I wan' you t' have mem'ries of me- of us- dat are your own."

Her eyes clouded over with guilt. "Y'all do blame me."

"For me? Non. Bein' a part of you feels too right. For Belle? Don' know. Have t' t'ink 'bout dat later."

She looked away. "At least with her, y'all could have kept your own body."

He kissed her sudden tears away. "Maybe. But I t'ink dat lovin' her for long woulda cost me more dan bein' wit' you ever could."

Rogue was quiet, her eyes, an exact mirror of his, looking up at him while she considered what he'd said. Finally, she reached up and pulled him back down to her.

Rogue stretched luxuriously as Remy spread his kisses down her breasts and stomach, before rolling her over and doing the same to her back.

It felt wonderful, better than anything she'd ever been able to imagine. Denied any kind of touch for over ten years, now she felt almost overwhelmed by the warmth and pleasure the Cajun's hands and mouth could give her.

Lying on the bed, Rogue moaned as Remy massaged her ribs, kissing the small of her back and buttocks.

"You like dat, eh, chere?"

"Mmm..."

As gently as he'd done everything else, Remy moved down her legs to her feet, leaving Rogue amazed at how sensitive her skin had become. In all the times she'd touched her body, it never reacted the way it did to Gambit.

"Oh, Remy," she whispered. He chuckled softly and kissed the bottom of her foot. Rolling her over, he began to work his way up her inner legs.

Rogue lay still as he worked, kissing first one leg then the other as he moved up. She ran a hand down her abdomen and sighed, wondering if she should be doing something more to participate, but she didn't know what. Remy, however, was an expert and she sighed again at the pleasure he was producing in her. Her eyes closed.

Suddenly, she felt his hands spread her legs and looked down just as his tongue flicked against her clitoris.

Rogue threw her head back, clutching the pillow with both hands as she gritted her teeth. Remy clasped her hips, working his tongue against her, and she cried out, arching her back, shivering uncontrollably until his motions brought her to climax.

"Oh mah, oh mah, oh mah, oh...."

Finally, the orgasm ended and she collapsed back onto the bed, her breathing heavy. Remy crawled up to lie beside her, his penis brushing against her side while he kissed her neck.

"Mah goodness," Rogue gasped. "That was incredible. Ah ain't never felt nothin' like that b'fore."

"I do my best, chere."

"Ah feel like ah should do somethin' for you, but ah don't know what."

He propped himself up with his head on his hand, supported by his elbow, and smiled at her.

"You jus' do what come nat'ral, chere."

Carefully, not sure what he'd like, Rogue moved onto her side to face him and shimmied down to kiss his chest while her fingers traced the lines of his muscles under his skin.

"Mm, dat's nice..." Remy breathed and rolled onto his back to give her more access.

More confident as the Cajun's comments urged her on, Rogue kissed down his body, mimicking his earlier treatment of her. Gambit let her, his breathing growing heavier, though he did nothing to interfere, giving her time to explore.

Remy's body was more muscular and angular than hers, straight where she was curved. It was also slightly hairy, with some hair on his chest and limbs and more on his stomach, leading in a line to the thick pubic hair on his loins, his penis rising hairless from ouut of it.

Remy's eyes were closed, so she looked at the organ curiously. The sight of it awakened a longing between her own legs and she reached out to touch the hot skin. Remy groaned and she encircled the shaft with her fingers, rubbing gently up and down. Remy gasped, his hips moving slightly in concert, his head thrown back and his hands gripping the headboard to keep from grabbing her. Incredibly turned on herself, Rogue crouched over and took him into her mouth.

Gambit bucked involuntarily, almost choking her as his penis hit the back of her throat. Quickly, he pulled it back out.

"Sorry..." he gasped. "Sorry..."

"It's okay, sugah," she assured him and licked his shaft and balls, amazed by the difference in texture between them. Remy thrashed his head back and forth, gasping in pleasure.

"Oh, chere," he managed when she finally sat back. "An' you said you didn' know what t' do. Come here."

Rogue moved into his arms and he cradled her against him, then somehow twisted himself so that she wound up straddling him, lying along his body.

"Woo, sugah. If ah didn't know better, ah'd think y'all wanted somethin'."

He grinned. "Maybe jus' one t'ing, chere."

Softly, he nudged her up until she was kneeling above him, all the while giving her every opportunity to stop. She let him, stroking his forearms as he pushed her back a pace.

Abruptly, something hard and blunt pressed between her legs. Remy smiled at the look on her face.

"Your choice, chere," he told her.

He meant it too. She could see that. She could leave, and he wouldn't love her any less. But she didn't want to leave.

"Thank ya, sugah," she murmured, touching his cheek with her hand. "Y'all are th' only one ever who understood me an' mah powers, how they affected me. Y'all made me so that ah'm not alone inside mahself no more." She smiled, then lowered herself onto him.

"Oh, mah..."

"Chere..."

Around them, the room throbbed, changing colour and texture randomly as Remy rolled her over onto her back, gently thrusting as her hips instinctively rose to meet him. Neither of them noticed, their eyes closed, kissing passionately as they moved together. Her legs wrapped around him and he began to thrust faster, filling her body and gasping while her nails scrabbled on his back, caught in a wave of pleasure that dwarfed everything else she'd felt so far.

Finally, the entire room fell away, leaving the two X-Men to orgasm together on a surface that floated in a dream.

Jean was taking her turn monitoring Rogue when she suddenly jerked back, her face as red as her hair.

"Heavens!"

Xavier looked up from his desk. "Did you lose her?"

"No, I've still got her. It's just, um... how do I put this?"

Betsy looked telepathically and blushed lightly herself. "I see what you mean. We're going to have to teach her to anchor herself."

Xavier frowned, too polite to use his own powers to evesdrop. "Did Rogue get Gambit?"

Unexpectedly, they both giggled. "Uh, I'd say she did," Jean grinned.

"That's an understatement," Betsy muttered.

Three weeks later, Rogue woke to the morning light shining through her window. Stretching luxuriously, she lifted herself up on her elbows.

"Mm..." She yawned. "Remy?"

Go 'way, he slurred. Hate morninz...

Rogue smiled. When she focused, she could see him, curled up in his own bed in the X-Mansion that existed in her mind. With practice, she'd learned to join him there at will, just as he'd learned to merge his consciousness with hers to form a gestalt of their two personalities, then split into his own identity again. It wasn't a perfect solution and she suspected Remy still hadn't dealt with what happened as much as he should, but given the circumstances, it was the best they could do. At least until they found a way to give Remy a body of his own again. The Professor had a few ideas, but he wouldn't share them until he'd had more time to confirm them as being possible. Probably so as not to get Gambit's hopes up too much and then be forced to dash them, she mused.

"Come on, Remy," she scolded. "Ah want mah breakfast." She started to get up.

No way, chere!

Grabbing partial control of her body from her, he rolled them back onto the bed. Fighting back, Rogue tried to rise and walk to the kitchen, but Remy had a grip on the bedpost and refused to let go. For the next minute, half of Rogue tried to go one way while the other half was going the other.

"Give it up, sugah!" she shouted. "Y'all are makin' us look ridiculous, and ya can't tell me ya ain't awake after this!"

Nope, I not. I am completely asleep. He faked a snore.

Suddenly, Remy let go of the bedpost, grabbed a pillow and hit her in the face with it.

Caught by surprise, Rogue fell right on her backside.

"Ow! This is really immature."

Is not, he retorted and hit her again.

Giggling, Rogue managed to get the pillow away. Then he started tickling her.

"No, wait! Stop!"

Rogue rolled on the floor, shrieking hysterically as the door opened and Betsy and Ororo looked in at her.

Ororo's eyebrows lifted. "Rogue? Are you all right?"

Betsy chuckled. "She's fine, Storm. Gambit's just tickling her."

"Oh, of course," she replied, deadpan. "It all makes sense now." She followed Betsy back out the door.

On the floor, Remy finished tickling Rogue and hugged her with her own arms. Whereupon she took the opportunity to leap up, grab her robe, and bolt out the door, her lover with her every step of the way.
 
 

The End