Everyone here belongs to Marvel and are being used without
their permission.

This is the official, sactioned sequel to "Do Not Go
Gentle".  Specifically, it's the sequel to Ending B.

HAPPY ENDINGS

Lori McDonald
March 1997

Part Six

"Come one, sa-wing, batter, batter!"

"I hate this game!"

"Hey, it's fun, and it's for Remy.  Right, Remy?"

"I ain' never played baseball in my life."

"Then why the soddin' hell are we playin' it now?!"

>From the pitcher's mound, he looked over to where Pete stood
at second base, waiting for his chance to run to third.
Even though the rest of them were in sweats, he wore his
same rumpled suit and tie, and was puffing on a cigarette.

He knew exactly why they were playing baseball.  Moira
wanted him to have more social interaction with the entire
group, to keep him from withdrawing again or dwelling on his
guilt over what happened.  The wounds were still there
inside him, even if they weren't locked away anymore.

He turned back to Moira, who was swinging her bat, waiting
for him to pitch to her.  He was grateful to her beyond
words for freeing him from himself.  He found he was much
like he was while living with the X-Men again, though not
quite as shy.  It was a far cry away from his original
personality, but very much an improvement.  He owed her for
that, and for the comfort she'd given him.  She'd looked at
the worst of him and hadn't turned away.

"Will ye bloody well throw so we c'n get on wi' it?"  She
yelled.

Quickly, he wound up and pitched, and there was a crack
as her bat connected with the ball.  Rahne chased it into
right field as Moira ran for first base.

Pete ran for third.  He was almost there when the baseman-
Lockheed- reared up on his hind legs, spread his wings and
breathed fire at him.  With a yelp of fright and a string of
curses, he turned and bolted back the way he'd come,
Lockheed in pursuit.

"Lockheed, no!"  Kitty ran to rescue her boyfriend as
everyone else started to laugh.  After a moment, he joined
in.

Moira came up to his side on the mound as Kitty chased
Lockheed and Pete towards the complex, signalling an end to
the game.

"How are ye feelin'?"  She asked him quietly.

Two weeks before, he would have just stared at her.  Now,
after his cathartic release and some very intense therapy,
he smiled.  "I'm okay."

She smiled back, and together they began to follow the team
back to the base.  "Yuir makin' wonderful progress, ye know
that?  Ye finally answered t' yuir name today."

He blinked.  He hadn't even realized that.  "I guess I did."

"Och, soon we'll have ye singin' it t' the heavens, fur when
ye return t' the X-Men."

H stopped.  "'Bout dat...  would y' mind if I were t' stay
here?  T' join Excalibur, I mean.  If y' t'ink I'm ready."

She regarded him calmly.  "Why?"  She didn't sound as though
she wanted to try and talk him out of it.  She was just
curious.

He frowned, working his way through it himself.  "When I was
wit' de X-Men, I was afraid all de time.  It wasn' dere
fault, but dat fear coloured everyt'ing an' I only really
connected wit' one person, an' de fear is mostly what I
'member 'bout dem."  He looked out over the green hills to
the sea.  "I been messed up here too, but it wasn' in de
same way an' I made friends here, 'specially in de last few
weeks.  Kitty, an' Pete, an' Rahne an' Kurt an' you..."  He
took a deep breath.  "I jus'...  don' wan' t' give up de
friendships I'm sure of for a bunch of people I was always
terrified 'round b'fore.  I'm sure I could be dere friend
now, but I don' want to lose all of you t' do it.  Do y'
un'erstand?  Excalibur feel more real t' me right now dan de
X-Men."

She smiled, taking his arm reassuringly, something he had
only ever allowed one X-Man to do without cringing.  "Och,
lad, of course A ken ye wantin' t' stay where ye feel yuir
home be.  When the X-Men sent ye here, they surely thought
ye'd come back t' them, but A dinnae think they'll begrudge
ye th' right t' make yuir own decisions for once.  An' while
it's up t' Kurt whether ye join the team, ye'll always be
welcome on mah island."

He felt a great tension release within him at her words.
Being rejected by her had been a serious fear.

"T'ank you, Moira."

He felt her grip on his arm tighten.  "Remy, kin A ask ye
something?"

"Sure."

"Why dinnae ye ever ask me what my news be?"

He sighed.  "Rogue's alive, neh?"

She looked at him intently.  "How did ye know?"

He moved away and sat on a large rock, looking up at her
with his hands clasped in his lap.  "I t'ink I knew from de
moment y' mentioned de news.  But I couldn' deal wit' it."

"Because o' what happened wi' Sinister."

He nodded shortly, remembering for the first time without
wanting to scream or lock his soul away to protect it.
"Yah," he admitted.  "De love I have f' Rogue be de first
t'ing I feel in years dat was good.  When Sinister caught
us, it was de only t'ing dat kept me goin'."  She listened
quietly.  This was a subject they hadn't touched on to this
detail yet in the therapy.  "Den I betrayed her.  Whether it
my fault or not, I lef' her b'hind.  All my attempts t' save
her were not'ing.  An' dat pain hurt worse dan all de death
an' de experiments an' every second in dat cage.  I couldn'
handle it, so I locked it away, but it was still dere, an'
deep inside I still felt it."

He closed his eyes.  "Den de X-Men saved her, an' everyt'ing
I wen' t'rough meant not'ing again, 'cause, hey, de X-Men
saved her anyway."  His voice dropped to a whisper.  "I don'
know what I hate m'self for more.  De betrayal of leavin'
her or de betrayal of t'inking dat I be de only one who
should save her.  Either way, I don' want her t' see it in
my face."

"Rogue dinnae blame ye, Remy.  She wants t' see ye."

Somehow, knowing that helped, a little.  "I gotta f'give
m'self first, Moira.  I ain't ready t' do dat yet.  I love
Rogue more dan anyt'ing.  I wan' t' be wit' her.  But I wan'
our love t' be pure, not mixed up wit' all my mistakes, or
we gonna end up blamin' each ot'er an' I don' want Sinister
t' win any more victories."

She sighed and knelt before him, taking his hands in her
own.  "Remy, I ken yuir fears, but ye cannae turn yuir back
on Rogue, not matter what yuir reasonin'.  She needs ye, an'
A dinae doubt ye need her too.  Ye've taken great strides,
but ye need t' be takin' more.  Ye need t' stop bein' afraid
o' what might happen.  Ye canna' hide from the world fur the
rest o' ye life.  Or let ye love suffer b'cause o' it.  That
would mean Sinister really had won."

He let his eyes close.  "I don' know if I c'n do it, Moira,"
he whispered.  He'd come so far, but as he thought of the
look of blame he *knew* he'd see in Rogue's eyes, however
dimly, it felt as though he'd fallen backwards instead.

"A ha'e faith in ye, Remy," Moira told him with conviction.
"A saw ye oot o' th' dungeon ye put yuirself in, and A'll
see you through this."

**********

"Welcome to Excalibur, *mein freund!"*

He smiled shyly as his new teammates whooped and hollared
and threw confetti at him.  There was even the sound of a
champagne bottle being opened.  When he'd asked to join the
team and Moira declared him fit enough for light duty, they
all decided to throw a party in celebration.

As the party got started in earnest, Pete looped an arm
around his shoulders.  "Now yer listen t' me.  No matter
what any o' these soddin' wankers say, ye don't need ter be
picking some bloody codename or runnin' around in yer
spandex bloomers, got it?"

He smiled, sure that Pete had no problem with seeing Kitty
in skintight material.  "Oui, I got it."

"And stop talkin' french ter me.  Makes me head hurt."  He
gestured expansively with his drink, of which he'd had a
little too much.  "Stick wi' me and I'll show yer how ter
survive 'round here wi'out going barmy- no offense
intended."

"Herr Wagner, are you trying to corrupt our newest member?"
A smiling Kurt stepped up, accompanied by Brian.  "He's only
just joined, after all."

"It's me duty ter begin educatin' the youngsters early,"
Pete said piously.

Brian, always a straightlaced sort, frowned.  "I'd stay away
from him," he warned.  "He's a scoundrel and you're quite
obviously a good, law abiding citizen."

He blinked.  "Uh...  sure.  Whatever y' say."

Suddenly, the door opened and Moira came in.  He smiled at
her brightly.  "Bonjour!  I was afraid y' weren' comin'."

She took the glass of wine he handed her.  "A would nae miss
this, but A had a new patient t' deal wi'."

He stared at her, feeling slightly betrayed.

She laughed at his expression.  "Dinnae worry, Remy.  A'll
still be workin' wi' ye.  But Charles thought A did sooch a
good job wi' ye, he sent me someone new."

"Someone..."  He swallowed, his face pale.  "Rogue?"

She nodded with a slight smile.  "She does need a wee bit o'
counsellin', so she got a leave o' absence from the X-Men.
Besides, she wanted t' see you."  Her eyes sparkled.
"According t' Charles, she was quite insistent.  Threw a few
cars around t' make her point, A ken."

>From what he'd seen of Rogue's temper in Sinister's lab, he
could believe it.  "Where...  where is she now?"

"Freshening up after her-"

A green clad form bulletted through the open door and
slammed into him, knocking them both backwards onto a couch,
then tipping it over and dumping them both to the floor
behind it.

"-trip."  Moira concluded.

Around them, conversation ceased as everyone turned to
regard the newcomer.  Pete put an arm around Kitty's waist.
"Friend a yours, Remy?"  He asked calmly.  Rahne started to
giggle.

"Hi, sugah," Rogue whispered.  "Miss me?"

Flat on his back with her on top of him, there was nowhere
for him to look but in her eyes.

There was no condemnation in them, no regret.  Not hatred
for him or loathing for herself.  There was only relief, and
love.  And a growing joy as seeing the look in her eyes
changed that in his own to match.

"Chere?!"  He gasped.

"Ah told ya th' X-Men would nevah give up, Remy."  She
smiled.  "Put up ya shields, sugah, 'cause ah got a powerful
hankerin' t' greet ya th' way all ya french do."

He put them up, the mental shields that made him
telepathically invisible and protected him from her powers,
and she kissed him.

"Ah dinnae believe it!"  Rahne gasped.

"Neither do I!"  Kitty laughed.  "Way to go, Remy!"

Dimly through that all-encompasing kiss that was making his
knees, and the rest of him, weak, he heard Moira's chuckle.
"Dinnae ye know that Remy was special?"

For the first time in years, as he lay there, he found he
actually believed her.

The End**********

Lori
:)

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