author: Lucinda
rating: pg 13
pairings: Spike/Willow, William/Tara
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to any of the characters from Buffy
the Vampire Slayer.
distribution: Bite Me, WLS, WWW, Cat, Red SoulMates, yourmission, Feen,
- anyone else please ask.
set in soon to be very AU season 5.
response to Fayth's Alterna Spike Challenge:
Xander groaned, hands going to his head as he slumped in dismay. "Hyena'd again. Damn."
"Considering the amount of power that's just standing in this room, it's probably permanent." Anya wondered what the story was on that hyena'd comment. "Do you think this will influence your sex drive?"
Spike just groaned, one hand covering his face as if he were deeply upset. "Just... go somewhere else before you start shagging. I'll stay here with Willow."
Smiling, Anya grabbed Xander's hand, pulling him to his feet. "I like that plan. Let's go home and have many orgasms."
end part 29.
She had to be awake. Nothing else could possibly hurt so much. She felt as if her insides had been scraped raw, dipped in salt, and then smoked until dry. Carefully, she flexed her hand, feeling it twinge as the muscles moved, the skin flexed. A small whimper escaped from her.
"Luv? Willow, are you alright?" Spike's voice, his words thick with worry.
Willow frowned, wondering why she could feel him there, sense exactly where he was, the bend of his legs, the whirling intensity of his emotions. Spike was worried about her, so she would try to answer him. The words emerged as a feeble whisper. "I don't know."
"You don't know? Do I need to call the Watcher?" His hand reached out, brushing over her hair, touching her cheek. He felt cool, comforting.
"mmm... cool finger. nice." She could feel an almost smile flit over her lips. "I hurt..."
"Can you tell me what hurts?" Spike's voice was soft, and she could feel the worry. "DO you know what you did to us?"
"Inside... I hurt. And my head..." Pausing to lick her dried lips, Willow debated opening her eyes. Deciding to try, she looked at him, seeing a blur of pale over dark. "You're all blurry... no, my vision's blurry, right?" But why did it look like his eyes were green?
He gave a small chuckle. "I don't look blurry. Although there was something earlier about glowing green eyes... know anything about that, luv?"
She closed her eyes, the blurry making her feel dizzy, or maybe dizzier would be more accurate. "Green is good. I'm green, she was red... red like drying blood, and all old perky and nasty... she tastes like expensive perfume... Myrrh. I pulled from her, Spike. It was... there aren't words. I took from her power, from her strength, and she couldn't' stop me... It felt... there was pain, and power... Quite the rush."
"You took Glory's power. That was the plan. I still don't follow why that turned my eyes green." He sounded calm, but she could feel otherwise, he was seething with questions, and worry, and impatience.
The burning pain was fading a bit, to a level where she could probably move, and function some, except that she was still so dizzy... Keeping her eyes closed, Willow carefully sat up, having been laying down for... when had she lain down? The last thing she remembered, Tara and Giles had netted Glory... "Urrgg. I pulled the power away from her, yes. But, Spike... There was so much of it. Too much of it. I couldn't hold it all, I had to put it somewhere, and I didn't dare send any to Giles and Tara, it could disrupt their spell, which was way more important than mine. I sent some of it to you, to Xander, to Buffy... I reinforced some wards... I think... I remember sending some of it to super-glue Angel's soul. And I tried... tried to shape a healing spell for Joyce with some of it. But it hurt o pull, make the power mine instead of hers, and make it into a spell before letting go, so I just gave you power. After it wasn't hers, which would be why green... I'm babbling, aren't I?"
"I'd say so, luv. Why send power to us? Why not try to close the damn Hellmouth while you were drawing on the power of a goddess?" He sounded a bit amused, and maybe relieved.
"That was later." She still had her eyes closed, but she felt that flash of pure astonishment. "Close your mouth. It's unbecoming to a Master Vampire to stare with a gaping jaw. And I don't know how solid it was, I may have just... sort of added tape, you know?"
"Right... How much power did you pull from her?" He sounded and felt like he wasn't certain that he wanted an answer.
"I'm not sure. It burned, but if I stopped, then she'd be able to resist Giles and Tara, only then she'd be really mad... There was another pattern underneath. I could feel him... She was all loose strings, Spike." She still hadn't opened her eyes. There had been fragments of memory with those threads, images, glimpses into... Elsewhere. Fragments of ritual, of a life of hedonistic indulgence, of servants destroyed on a whim.
"Are you still... all Willow in there? You sound like a few things got knocked loose." Spike's question was slow, and she could feel his worry and dread.
"Nice to have someone care like that..." She smiled, trying to sort that answer out herself. "Me... Willow Anne Rosenberg... not Glorificus ShaerKaeith of Haun Tauirith. Urg... I can remember things, her things. She was... evil, and... always way too perky. I think I'm still me."
"Why don't you open your eyes, luv?" He felt worried.
"Because I peeked... you were all blurry. Dizzy doesn't mix well with blurry. Throwing up is bad... I want to avoid it." She knew that she couldn't keep her eyes closed forever. A thought occurred to her, and she could feel herself smiling hopefully. "Spike, is there... could I take a bath? A really long soak, with bubbles?"
"I think so. But before I turn you loose in a bath, I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you think you'll be okay." He felt worried, even though he sounded grumpy.
"Fine..." She turned towards Spike, feeling him, seeing his pattern of energy with her inner eye. Opening her eyes, she saw that he was indeed still all blurry. But the blurry seemed less, and it was more like the room was all swirling with silver fog. She could still see the swirls and glow of his aura. "I think I'll be... okay to take a bath. I'll feel better after a nice hot soak."
Spike felt all disturbed again, filled with worry and tension. "Right. Do you think you can walk to the bathroom?"
"Still sort of dizzy. Maybe if I lean on you?" Willow wasn't certain if she could walk anything resembling a straight line.
He took her hand, helping her up from the couch as if she was a delicate lady. She certainly felt fragile. Willow closed her eyes again as they moved, the blurriness making her head spin and stomach twist. The pattern of the walls was there, she wouldn't walk into anything... Spike brought her to a bathroom, with a large rounded tub. He let her stand by the sink, and pulled out a few things.
"These aren't the scent that you normally use, but there's shampoo, conditioner, even bubble bath. I'll let you freshen up." He smiled at her, leaving the door open a sliver in case she had any troubles.
She opened her eyes, peering at the bottles until she'd sorted out what each one held. The effort made her head throb more. She started the water, pouring in a generous measure of the bubble bath, listening to the pouring of the water. But it was cold. Why was it cold? She pulled a wisp of the fog downstairs, converting it to heat and sending it into the water before she realize what she was doing. It burned, the... what ever that allowed her to manipulate magic shrieking fiery protest at the action even as the water became near boiling hot. She choked back a sob, refusing to scream from the pain.
The rest of the water poured in, still cold. By the time the water was the right depth, it was also the right temperature. She striped off her clothing, leaving it on the floor as she stepped into the water. Oh... bliss was a nice soak in an almost too hot bubble bath... Maybe she could stay right here for the next week.
End part 30.
Spike waited outside the bathroom, worried about Willow. She'd just seemed a bit... off. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was pain, but... What if it wasn't? He liked Willow, he didn't want her to NOT be Willow. She'd sounded as if she was only half here, the rest of her mind... somewhere else. He didn't like the idea of dizziness.
When he'd insisted that she look him in the eye, he hadn't expected... They didn't look the same. They were these glowing green pools of energy, similar to the way Xander's had looked, but more intense. It had left him feeling shaken. He needed more answers.
Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out a cell phone, checking to see if all the fighting had damaged it. Discovering that it was still intact, he grinned before calling Rupert. Not that he ever wanted the Watcher to know that he'd programmed his number into the bloody cell...
It rang a few times before being answered with a mumbled :Who the hell is this?:
He resisted the urge to tease the Watcher. But it definitely sounded as if the casting had been hard on him. "This is Spike. I'm trying to get a bit of info on that spell you let Willow do. Seems that's he dumped power into some of us..."
:Yes, I am aware of that. Buffy's eyes were still glowing green this afternoon. What sort of protective spell did she cast on her?: He sounded bad.
"Didn't go like that, old man. Willow woke up, and I asked her a few questions. She said... Willow just dropped power into us. No protective spell on us, just lots of power. I'm worried about side effects." He paced along the hallway, trying not to be distracted by the little splashing sounds that emerged from the bathroom.
:Willow is awake? How does she feel? Is she... does she seem quite herself?: The worry seemed to have brought Rupert's full mind into play.
"She said everything hurts, she feels dizzy, and she's been keeping her eyes closed. She said everything was all blurry. Right now, she's taking a bubble bath, on the idea of she hopes it will help her feel better. Rupert, her eyes... they were glowing. Think you can have someone pop over here with some clean clothing for her?" Inside, he was hoping that the Watcher would have answers. That Willow would be alright. That he hadn't taken so long to realize... When had he developed these feelings for her anyhow? And what did they all mean? And he realized that Rupert was saying something.
:... doesn't seem to be having any ill effects, and Xander says that he's feeling quite healthy. Anya will be over with something for her.:
"What about Tara?" He frowned, wondering how everything with Tara would unfold.
:Tara... isn't here anymore. A portal opened, and took William away, and Tara... chose to go with him. We're assuming that he returned to London, in his proper time.: Rupert sounded tired.
"Right then. Hope they do better than I did." Tara would be much better for him... for William than Cecily had been. He just hoped that them going back didn't change his existence here.
Dimly, he registered the Watcher's goodbye, and he pushed the button that would end the connection. He wanted to sort out his feelings for Willow, and maybe figure out when they'd started. She was smart, talented, capable... he respected her abilities, and her magic damn near terrified him. She'd gone against a goddess, and made an impact. But he also respected her other type of strength, the way that she didn't give up, the way she found a bit of good in everybody, and stood by her friends. The way that she'd helped him. And she looked good under those concealing sweaters and loose skirts, so there was definitely a strong helping of lust in there. He respected her, he wanted her, he... liked her.
Maybe she might be willing to try dating him now? And he wondered if there was something wrong with him wanting to date someone like Willow. She was cheerful, she was so openly emotional, she was completely the opposite of him in so many ways... Bloody Hell, a little time around the mortal that he'd been and he started forgetting everything. He was a Master Vampire! He wasn't supposed to worry about 'was he the right sort for her'! He wanted her, he would make a try for her, and the only person who could make him stop would be Willow herself! That's right, he didn't have to be some mincing admire from afar, not good enough for her sap anymore. He'd ask her himself...
A series of mental images flooded his mind, Willow naked in a tub of bubbles and hot water, the bubbles clinging to her skin... Willow, wreathed in the scent of jasmine from her bath... Her skin all flushed and soft, with his hands caressing her hot body... And the possibility that if he interrupted her, he could end up a vampire frog. That was NOT an option he wanted to pursue. Best wait until she was done with her bath before asking her out.
To help with that delay, he moved farther down the hall, waiting in the main room for someone to arrive with clean clothing for Willow. Last night was confusing enough without making her angry at him today.
End part 31.
"How is she?" Xander's voice carried through the room, low and worried.
Spike looked at him, somehow not surprised to see that his eyes were still glowing green, although they weren't quite as bright as he remembered them being. "Awake. She said everything hurt, inside, and that she felt dizzy. Think she had a headache as well. She also mentioned that her vision was blurry."
"There's a chance that it might not get better." Anya's words weren't the sort of thing he'd been hoping to hear.
"How much do you know about this sort of thing?" He tried not to growl, but there was a little bit of it anyhow.
"I don't know of anyone that went up against a goddess, or anything else close to that powerful. But I've seen a lot of witches and sorcerers who decided to steal power. Generally because they were pretty unimpressive on their own. Gives a quick boost if it's done right. But if it's done wrong, or if the victim is too powerful, or if... oh, there are all sorts of 'if's that can happen. Things can go wrong. Headaches are pretty common, so is feeling dizzy. Sometimes, things never go back to the way they were before." Anya sat down, holding a bag of clothing in her hands. "I can still feel all the power here. I think... if Willow's very lucky... she is still Willow, right? If she's lucky, she's just suffering from too much magic."
"I think so. She sounded a bit off, but that could be from the dizziness and pain. I'm a bit worried though, she mentioned memories, and kept saying that her vision was blurry." Spike frowned, wondering why Xander had more of a presence than Anya. "Might as well try to soak up some of this magic, Anya. You might need it later."
"Can we hope not?" Anya looked worried. "Needing magic generally means there's trouble, which could mean injuries. This body is human and sort of fragile, and injuries reduce my daily allotment of orgasms."
For a moment, Spike just stared at her, wondering how she could say such things. "Right... Do you want to go check on Willow? Give us your opinion of her recovery? She's also a bit less likely to turn you into a frog if you see something."
Xander frowned. "This is Willow. She wouldn't turn any of us into frogs. Willow's afraid of frogs. Maybe snakes though... yeah, let's have Anya go."
Anya stood up, scowling at both of them. "If she turns me into something disgusting, I will be furious with you both." With that, she huffed and stomped out of the room.
"Notice any bizarre changes yet, Spike?" Xander sounded unexpectedly serious.
"I've been sitting and watching her. Nothing seems different yet. What about you?" He was a bit curious where this was coming from.
Xander blushed a bit. "I've noticed a few things. All the basic senses are enhanced. And this place... I can feel it. I'm also stronger than before, and... ummm... I've noticed a few other changes. Physical improvements."
"Hadn't tried anything." Spike frowned as he said it, wondering if anything might have changed. What would be different? He still felt the same. "Bugger... I'm not hungry yet. I should be getting hungry by now, but I'm not. Wonder what's up with that?"
"Maybe you're systems too busy with all that magic?" Xander had a small smile.
Spike nodded slowly, even as he questioned the idea that it could be something that simple. "Maybe. But I won't bet on it yet."
Xander nodded. "That makes sense. How is she really?"
Spike frowned at him, wondering when Xander Harris, of all people, had learned to tell when he wasn't being entirely honest. Wait, he had mentioned enhanced senses... "I'm not sure. She sounds... Bloody hell, she was reminding me a bit of Dru, and I hope that it's just temporary. But she just seemed half out of touch, like she wasn't all here. But she's still Willow, not... she's Willow. And I think she's in more pain than she's trying to let on."
"That sounds like Willow. I think we can deal with spacey Willow for a while, considering that she saved our collective asses pulling power from Glory." Xander was pacing now, as if he couldn't stand sitting still.
"Can we deal with whatever changes she might have done to us?" Spike wasn't certain if he was asking Xander or himself.
"Not seeing many options to that one. But how bad can it be to be better able to keep my mate and territory safe? How bad can it be to be able to fight off the demons and vampires?" Xander didn't even seem to realize that he'd called Anya his mate.
End part 32.
"Willow? Are you ready for clothing?" Anya paused at the bathroom, smelling the jasmine bubbles, feeling the humidity. She was reminded of many bad horror movies that she'd watched with Xander, remembering how stupidly some of the people in them had behaved. "You'd better be Willow, or else we will have to run away and return with violence."
"Anya. Yes, I'm still Willow. Just, I'm Willow in pain. And it generally works better if you don't tell the scary things that you're going to come back." The voice sounded like Willow, with her words slow from the inevitable reaction to any strong use of magics.
Pushing the door open, Anya went into the bathroom, immediately feeling jealous. "I don't have a bathtub that big. Do you think I can have Xander get a bigger bathtub? Oh, and I brought you clean clothing."
"Clean clothing sounds good." Willow did something, and the water and bubbles began to flow out of the tub, draining away. She arose slowly, one hand against the wall, and reached for a soft towel, drying herself. Her skin looked flushed, but there were no bruises, no mottling that indicated internal bursting from too much power.
Anya handed her the bag of clothing, not noticing until she took it that Willow's eyes were still closed. Although she seemed to be doing just fine that way, it seemed weird. "Willow? Why not open your eyes?"
"Because I still feel a bit dizzy. And everything was blurry, which made the dizzy part feel worse. Spike made me open my eyes and then he got all freaked out..." Willow paused, pulling the shirt over her head. "It's still there, you know. The whole vengeance demony thing, just... sleeping. I wonder what would have happened if I'd sent power to you?"
"How do you know?" Anya felt as if the skin on the back of her neck was all pins and needles.
"I can see it. In your aura... And I can feel Xander and Spike in the other room. They're worried." Willow's voice was soft, almost hesitant.
"They're worried about you." Anya wondered how Willow would react to that.
For a moment, Willow's eyes opened with her surprise. They were like deep green jewels with a bright light behind them, far more intense than Xander's had been, and far more green than they had ever been before. Quickly, they closed again, a tear at the corner of one eye. "Worried about me? But... not afraid of me."
Anya found herself staring at Willow. Had she... She had. "You pulled a lot of power. It shows. Can you come back to the other room?"
Willow paused, still leaning against the sink as she combed through her hair. "I hope so... I can trail along the wall, or lean on you. I just... I just want to be Willow. No, I want to be a Willow that doesn't hurt all through my body."
The flush seemed to have faded, leaving Willow's skin far paler than normal. Not waxy pale, but porcelain pale. As if it wasn't supposed to be skin at all. And her hair looked a bit different, a bit shinier. Willow had been changed by all that power, but how far did the changes go? "I suppose you can lean on me."
"Thanks, Anya." Willow reached out, one hand touching Anya's shoulder, and the seething power leapt, like a spark, burning through her like a hot wind.
It felt like Willow's magic, only stronger, more wild. As if something raw and wild had been caught and put through Willow... Which was actually what had happened. It burned through her, an almost familiar sensation, and she felt as if something had shifted inside. They both collapsed to the floor.
"Ow. Floor hard... Willow feels breakable. That was actually what I was hoping to avoid..." Willow's voice was low as she picked herself up.
"Ow is right. That was... like a magical static charge. Ow." Anya picked herself up, freezing at the sight in the mirror. She looked different, her skin almost bronze, patterned faintly with red, her eyes glowing green. Power surged under her skin. "That's... not my old look."
"Sorry?" Willow's voice sounded as if she wasn't quite sure there was something to apologize for. "I didn't mean to... Are you okay?"
Anya felt herself giggling. "Am I okay? I think you've made me not so human anymore. I'm fine, maybe better than fine. Let's try this lean on me thing again."
This time, there was no unexpected shock. Anya helped Willow back into the room where Spike and Xander were talking, wondering just how much things were going to change.
"Anya? You've joined the glowing green eyes club." Xander sounded curious, a little worried.
"I feel... pretty good, actually. And yeah, she's all Willow still. Just... Willow with way too much magic. I don't think she should be touching people." Anya smiled as Willow sat on Spike's lap, wondering if that had been deliberate. Deciding that it really didn't matter, she sat on Xander's lap, cuddling closer to him. She definitely liked the new and improved version of her Xander.
End part 33.
Willow sighed, contentedly sitting on Spike's lap. He'd tensed when she'd sat down, but one arm had gone out, wrapping around her waist, steadying her against him. Now, she was curled up, her head on his shoulder. This was nice... Not as nice as it would be when she didn't hurt, but still nice. One hand crept up, sliding behind his head, touching his hair. It felt so soft, all rumpled and the little curls...
His chest vibrated a bit as he spoke. "Happy there, luv?"
Smiling, she answered, uncertain if he'd actually expected one. "Yes. You have a very comfy lap."
Spike buried his nose in her hair, purring just a bit. "You smell good."
He was sniffing her hair. Oh merciful heaven, he was sniffing her hair... and then she realized exactly what part of Spike her hip was pressed up against. It was a rather firm and definitely male part. She felt herself smiling. Maybe she did have a chance after all. Spike certainly seemed to find her attractive, maybe... Well, maybe. "Thanks."
Anya felt amused, and that was all the warning that Willow had before Anya's question. "So... how long have you and Spike been dating?"
Xander sputtered, feeling shock/confusion/surprise. "Anya! Willow isn't dating Spike! She's... well, she was dating Tara."
Willow couldn't resist teasing Xander just a little bit. "Actually, Tara and I were never dating. It was a smokescreen to keep Buffy from setting me up with someone, and Tara wanted to avoid a few obnoxious guys at college... And I haven't been dating Spike. He hasn't asked me out yet."
Spike went tense under her, and for a moment Willow wondered if she'd entirely misjudged his reaction. But then he was almost crushing her against him in a hug, Lips against her temple. "Sounds like I'll have to change that then. How about we catch a movie when you feel a bit less achy?"
Mmmm, he smelled so good up close. Her arms seemed to fit nicely around him. Not to mention that... well, it felt rather impressive against her hip, anyhow. "That sounds good. Only, no horror movies unless it's a vampire flick that we can laugh at."
"Can I steal some of your popcorn?" He was smiling against her temple, still holding her close.
"Okay." She felt calm, almost peaceful for the first time in a long time. Certainly since she'd found him all bloody and wounded underneath her hedge. Gradually, the realization dawned – she had a date with Spike! "More than okay."
Spike chuckled, his arm loosening just a little, in case she needed to breathe. "Sounds good to me. So... what about that comic book movie coming out? X-Men, wasn't it?"
"Sounds good to me." Willow found herself smiling again, and hoped that she'd feel less achy soon. She had a date when she was feeling good enough. Something else occurred to her. "Spike?"
"Yes, luv?" He sounded curious, but he also felt all content.
"Don't wait for something that drastic to ask me out for our second date." She gave the mock order with a smile.
"Wouldn't dream of it, luv."
"So... how long has the bleached one been lusting after my best bud?" Xander's voice was teasing, but he didn't sound quite hostile.
Spike made a small growl, and pulled Willow a bit closer against him. "Sod off, that's not your concern."
Anya giggled. "That means quite a while."
Spike gave a small growl towards her. "I always thought that she was quite bitable. As for anything else... If not for this blasted chip, she wouldn't be one of the Slayer's helpers now, she'd be my Childe and we'd be running this town by now."
"I knew it!" Anya sounded gleeful. "I thought it sounded unlikely that in your effort to tell Buffy that the Initiative were jerks you had to go to Willow. There are easier ways to get a message to her. Which means that you just wanted Willow."
"Oh, just shut up, woman." Spike looked again to Willow, his nose pressed against her head. "It doesn't matter when it started."
Willow just smiled, deciding not to argue with Spike about that. Oh, it definitely mattered, but there was no need to badger him about it. Especially since it was sounding like he'd had an interest for quite a while now. "Maybe you will be Hades to my Persephone after all..."
End part 34.
Hearing her comment, Spike grinned. Hades to her Persephone? Oh yes, he could be the King of the Dead with her as his Queen. Sounded quite tempting to him. "I thought that started with a kidnapping, luv?"
She rubbed on hand against his chest, over his heart. The other was still playing with his hair. "You did kidnap me already. We're just getting the more... umm, less threatening part a bit later. And unlike Persephone, I don't have a worried mother out searching for me."
Spike swallowed, wondering when his pants had shank so much. They felt very tight all of a sudden... He wanted to give things with Willow a chance, to see what they could have. "No, just a Watcher, a Slayer, a Vengeance Demon, and what was that about getting hyena'd? And they all want to make sure that I treat you right proper."
"mmm... and how do you plan to do that?" Her voice was soft, her breath feeling almost scalding against his chest.
Dozens of passionate ideas about exactly how right he could treat her flitted through his mind. But he wasn't certain that she'd meant the question to be suggestive. "I think I can find a few ideas."
Willow shifted a bit in his lap, her hip pressing against him in a way that almost made him forget they weren't alone. "Creativity can be good."
Oh bloody hell... Spike closed his eyes, counting to a hundred in every language he knew. Willow was going to be the death of him. If things got any hotter, someone, most likely him, would catch fire! He practically purred into her ear. "I'll bet I can be good."
There were a few noises, and then he realized that Xander and Anya had left the building. He smiled, part of him figuring that they'd left so that they could shag, part of him jealous. Willow wasn't in any shape to be shagging yet. Unfortunately for him.
"Hmmm.... I get you all to myself." Willow's voice had a trace of amusement, right before she yawned. "oh, being awake seems very exhausting today."
"Then rest, you did a lot yesterday. Nobody will mind." He wasn't in any hurry for her to move off his lap.
"Spike-pillow. Nice." She shifted yet again, and curled a little bit.
It took him a few moments to realize that she was asleep. It was the soft, even breathing that did it. Maybe he could just... sit here for a while. He could use the time to figure out if he minded being called her pillow.
Something nagged at his memory. What was he going to do with that blasted Buffy-bot? How could he explain it to Willow? What would happen when someone else discovered the damn thing? Considering the amount of pain it had caused him... But that pain had caused him to realize that Willow was something. To figure out that he wanted her. To learn that she was willing to give things a chance. Yeah, the pain had been worth it.
But he was still going to get rid of that robot.
End 35.
End Poetry in his Soul.