Subject: [OTL]: Oh Canada (Preacher) 2/? Date: Wed, 24 Mar 1999 13:24:29 -0800 (PST) From: maggiecat Reply-To: outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net To: outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net CC: silvrsolace@home.com Here's the next part. Hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: Vertigo's, not mine, and they never will be, dammit. ********************************** Oh Canada (2) "Hello, welcome to Save-On-Foods! Would you like to try some red-wine sausage?" Jesse and Cassidy stared somewhat blankly at the chipper woman behind the display stand, who was holding out two toothpicks for them. "Uh...thank, ma'am," Jesse said, gingerly taking the toothpicks. He stood there for a while and the woman's smile grew strained, her face turning red. "Well, try it!" she snapped. "Yeh, eat up, Jess. I want t'go get me mints." Jesse eased the bits of greasy sausage from the two toothpicks and moved them around his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. He swallowed and his eyes lit up. "Well, damn--these are really good!" he declared. "I didn't expect 'em to be so tasty, I tell you whut!" "Tha's nice, Jess. C'mon." Cassidy was manifestly uninterested. "Can I buy some of this, ma'am?" The woman beamed anew, shoving over a package. "Of course. And here's a coupon for ten cents off!" *************************************** "Why did yeh buy tha'?" Clutching his packet of sausage, Jesse looked righteous. "They're good, Cass. Damn good. If I didn't get some I woulda dreamed about it." "Keep on dreamin', preacher. Ye've got no way to cook them in th' hotel, do yez?" Cassidy cruised off among the bulk food bins while Jesse blinked, considering. "Well, I got 'em for ten cents off," he muttered. "Ah! Jackpot!" Cassidy's crowing came from one big barrel in a line of them. The vampire grabbed a plastic bag and began shoveling huge amounts of the pillow mints into it with unabashed glee. "You ain't never gonna be able to finish all those," his friend pointed out, still smarting somewhat from the jibes about his packet of sausage. "Aye, I will." Cass twist-tied the bag with a flourish and grinned. "So what yeh want t'do now?" "Hell, I dunno. You're the one who's been to Vancouver before." "Hmmm. Good point. We should head off over th'Granville Bridge--sure an' there's more t'do that side." "All right. Getcher mints and let's go." **************************************************** "Hello! Do you have a Save-On-More card?" The two stared blankly--for the second time that night--only this time, at the cheery checkout clerk, who was smiling expectantly at them. "Uh, no," Jesse said finally. "We ain't from around here, miss." The checkout girl's eyes rounded as she took in Jesse's appearance, the flash of clerical white sex appeal that he wore at his throat, and got rounder with each word he drawled. "You're from Texas, right?" she breathed. Jesse shot an amused glance at Cassidy, who rolled his eyes and busied himself trying to surreptitiously steal change from the SPCA donation tin. "Why, yes I am, miss..." he squinted at her nametag,"...Miss Shab-niz. How'dja know?" "My best friend's aunt is from Texas, and I love the way she talks!" the girl enthused. "Oh, and it's pronounced--" here she quickly blurred over her name, making it softer and shorter in a way Jesse didn't catch at all and wasn't about to inquire after. "--wow, and are you really a priest? What part of Texas are you from? Do you live near the Alamo?" "I'm a real live reverend, miss. From..." he paused just a split second, determinedly swallowing the sick lump of fear that inevetably rose in his throat before continuing. "From Anneville. And no, it ain't really near the Alamo. That's San An-tone." Jesse smiled politely through Shabniz's ebullient babbling, secretly marveling at the fact that Canadians were so misinformed about American geography. Still, he mused, most Americans thought Canadians lived in igloos and all the policemen were Mounties. It probably evened out somehow. "Oi, Jesse--are yeh ready t'go yet, then?" Shabniz's eyes went so wide that Jesse thought she might seriously injure herself. "Are...are you...*Irish*?" she gasped. ************************************************* "Y'know," Jesse mused as they finally strolled out of the huge grocery-store exit and back into the crisp night air, "a guy with an accent would have no trouble gettin' laid in Vancouver." Cassidy snorted through a mouthful of melting, crumbly mints. "Tell me about it, mate," he leered. "An' Canadian girls are all so eager to please, like...." "I guess it's part of the national character. Bein' polite, I mean." "Oh, sure. I like it best when they politely wrap their lips 'round me dick, personally." Jesse laughed, his breath making misty scraps in the air. "Where we goin' again, Cass?" "Across th' bridge. We'll call a cab." Heading to the green-and-orange stripes of a 7-11, Cassidy grinned. "Nice lil' club I went to last time I was here. Called 'Luvafair'...." ******************************************************* Well, this is shaping up to be more than two parts. So, next bit: Luvafair and the people they meet there! -- Maggie the Cat ******************************************************* === "You can't even trust a monkey anymore!" -- my dad, watching Raiders of the Lost Ark "Pray for me." -- Mojo the helper monkey, after time with Homer Simpson