Subject: [OTL]: Golden Goose RR: The Cuckoo's Nest
Date: Fri, 26 Oct 2001 13:51:01 +0000
From: mamfa <mamfa@start.com.au>

It's done! *g* Thanks to Unanon for beta-ing and her general aura of
fabulousness, and Min for letting me play in her playpen. Rated nasty
for graphicness and bad language.

They're Marvel's. Don't sue. No money. *Fan*-fiction. Duh!

The Cuckoo's Nest
~*~*~

I like to hear her talk.

When she isn't bitching at me.

The day she told me about my name was an eye-opener. Killed his brother?
Fuck, that other Cain got it damn good. I never had the guts to kill my
brother.

I know I'm not smart. My brother was smart -- dad approved of him, not
me. Guess my dad woulda given him the protection, the mark, and told me
to scram, like the Cain in the story. Except that other Cain had brains,
he knew the score. Me, I got nicked by Wraith at the age of sixteen
while playing hooky from school. I always played hooky. Probably the
reason I was three grades below and failing again.

Still, being big and stupid is okay, as long as no-one calls me stupid
to my face. No-one expects too much of me -- including me -- and I'm just
smart enough to know how dumb I am. Of course, it's kind of blazingly
obvious when she begins to talk. She reads all the time, so when she
drags her head out from between the pages, you betcha fucking ass she's
got something to say. And she seems to expect more of me than anyone
else does -- even when she's whining and calling me Juggs -- and that
makes me feel smart. Even if it's for a little while.

I been at Weapon X longer than anyone, except Wraith, Essex and her. The
Mother Superior, Roguey once said her codename should be. I said she
ought to be called the Walking Womb. That made Roguey shut up again,
turning to her books. Some Italian guy called Dante, all about hell. I
asked her why she needed to read about it, seeing as she had first hand
experience. She looked at me like I just said I wanted to fuck a sheep.

She holds onto the baby like she's a lifeline. I don't know how we're
going to hide, me and her and a purple baby with markings all around her
eyes, but we've done okay so far. I didn't want her to bring the kid,
but every time I bring it up, she gives me that face full of nothing and
says, "I thought you felt sorry for the goose, Juggs."

And *that* shuts me up.

"Shh... it's okay, baby... I'm here. Shh..."

"Can't you keep her quiet?"

"Not when you keep being an asshole."

"C'mon, Roguey..."

We've been spending the nights in the undergrowth. I lie on my side, and
Roguey curls up against me, using me as a wind-barrier. She wraps her
body around the baby carefully, like it means something, the way she
tucks the little thing against her with her arms and her legs and all.
And yeah, at times like that, sure I feel sorry for the goose. She's
gone on huge ranting fits about how she isn't ever gonna be touched or
kissed or loved or even fucked stupid, hating god and fate and mutancy
and especially the Fuck Factory down the hall. I ride 'em out, usually.
I mean, she looks like that. What does she know about it?

"We going south?"

"I reckon. She needs to be changed."

"Fucking stupid baby. Look, Roguey..."

I don't wanna hear it, Cain. Put me down."

She's a quiet kid. I always thought that babies were supposed to be
noisy and annoying, but her... she's okay. When she doesn't stink. And
Rogue loves her, I mean *really* loves her. And Roguey's the only friend
I got. Even I can think my way through that one.

Even if she is a sour bitch at times. I caught her kissing her
reflection once. And she was really getting into it too, like she was
really kissing some big movie star on a screen. And yeah, it was hot to
watch -- *real* hot -- but sad too. It's like that, how she holds the
baby, like it's the most amazing fucking thing to ever happen to her, or
the saddest. Like every time she looks at the kid, she's kissing a
mirror.

I don't know where we're going. I follow Rogue's directions, and carry
her and the baby when she gets tired. She's smart; she's better off
leading. Doesn't mean I can't argue with her when she gets annoying.
One-word answers always piss her off.

Still, leader or not, it seems to surprise her when we hit the edge of a
small town. Stealing some clothes off a clothesline to hide our uniforms
is easy enough -- as long as no one recognises them. Even found a shirt
that fits me. My fatigues are okay.

There's a little diner that sits against the side of a closed grocery
store. It's open, and empty and god does it smell good. We haven't got
any money. I'm wondering idly if I could threaten them into feeding me,
when a red-haired woman wanders out of the Ladies. She stops and stares
at Roguey, and I think, well, shit. We're busted. May as well go down
fighting. The woman don't make a move, though, just stands and stares at
the baby, and fuck me if that isn't another kiss in the mirror.

Rogue stands slowly, her eyes locked on the red-haired woman. Her arms
wrap around the baby even tighter, and her chin tilts up.

"That's... that's Clara," the redhead falters. Roguey nods so you can
hardly see it, her eyes not leaving her. She's pretty enough, kind of
softer and looser than all the women I've known through Weapon X. Her
face is tired and worn, but there's hope in there somewhere.

"You're her - the Walking Womb, aren't you?" says Rogue suddenly, into
the silence. The woman colors, her cheeks flushing. Christ, Roguey, we
dunno what this woman can do! You're baiting her? She was Essex's, which
means she had plenty of power... you got a fucking deathwish? I walk over
behind Rogue, and cross my arms, trying to make as much of my big ugly
mug as possible.

They don't even register me.

"Yes," she answers, when the red has left her face. "I was the Walking
Womb."

Rogue's face twists. "Have you any idea how much I hate you?"

The woman seems taken aback. "I've... never met you before."

"I doubt you'd think me important enough."

Oh fuck. I can see a rant coming -- one of the ones I have to practically
fucking hide from. She yells and screams and cries about how much she
hates her life and her mutation. The worst one I ever saw was when
Wraith broke her legs after some mission, and I couldn't even set them
for her, cos they were bare. All that long, silky skin, and I couldn't
touch. The girl's a prick-tease, and she can't help it.

"Well, you are holding my daughter," the woman says in a steady voice.
She's gotten over being called a walking womb, and now she wants her
kid. You can see it, almost feel it. And I dunno, because sure, the
kid's annoying. It's *purple* -- well, more lavender, really, with
reddish hair and weird markings around her little eyes. How we gonna
hide with an obviously mutant baby? I think, let the bitch have her
brat, and let's just fuck off.

And then I think about the goose on its nest of stones. And remember a
kiss on a mirror which made the glass fog up, and her eyes run. Roguey's
the only damn friend I got.

Rogue freezes. Realises the implications, and holds the baby even
closer. The redhead notices this, and you can see the wheels turning in
her head. Amazingly, she isn't mad. More curious. Compared to Roguey,
who was old before Wraith got her, the woman's a child.

"Look, my name's Maddie. I am more than a walking womb, you know," she
says pointedly. I wince. "You would have been part of the Weapon X
program. You are...?"

"Rogue. And this is Cain, or Juggernaut."

Green eyes flick to me. "Ah," she says sadly. "You were the one who
refused."

I remember.

I was nineteen when Essex announced that his little experiment had
worked. He had a clone to use as a mutant machine, to pop out kid after
kid. I was a kid. A big, ugly one, one no-one could hurt, but still a
kid. And I'd never fucked a woman before, and sure didn't want to start
with some photocopy of a real person who couldn't help but lie there. I
guess I was nanve. Or stupid.

Real stupid. I was the one who found out the 'painful alternative' Essex
kept threatening us with. All the other guys there at the time --
Wolverine, Sabretooth, Nightcrawler, even that guy who escaped after
four days, North -- they'd all had a bounce on his new toy. I said no. I
refused, and thought they couldn't do anything about it. I mean, that's
what invulnerability's *for*.

I was dragged under Doctor Cornelius' knife and a collar snapped around
my neck, and couldn't sit down for a week. Still got scars. Me, scars!
The guy no one can even get close to unless I want 'em to! Essex said
the girl had been artificially inseminated, and that he had high hopes,
or some such shit.

"Scars," I choked out. Roguey was looking at me weird.

The red-head, the clone, nodded. "Me too."

So the artificial insemination had been just as gentle as when they slit
open my balls with a paring knife. This photocopy was stronger than I
thought. "Did you..."

She shook her head. "I didn't fall pregnant that time." A wry smile.
"All that pain for nothing."

Rogue's face isn't nearly so cold anymore. She was brought in about two
years after that fiasco, and didn't know. Not even Creed talked about
it, which was weird, because he took any opportunity to taunt us after
he got in thick with ol' Johnny Wraith and started doing guard duty. I
suppose even he knew this could happen to him, and they wouldn't let his
healing factor deal with his busted balls afterwards. Essex is one
vindictive son of a bitch. Roguey looking at me like she's kissing a
mirror.

I shake my head. "Not for nothing." I point at Clara, in Rogue's arms,
tight against her body. "Whose is this?"

The clone... Maddie ... doesn't look at the baby. "Mine and Nightcrawler's.
He... enjoyed it."

Rogue's head snapped up. "He cried for weeks afterwards, and no-one
could understand what he said."

Maddie closes her eyes. "He hurt me."

Not as much as I did? But then, I didn't want to make that one
sacrifice, and so I put us both through the fucking grinder. Real smart,
*Juggs*. But in a weird way, Maddie seemed to appreciate that -- that I
would refuse and have... that done to me.

Roguey was watching me again. "I think he didn't mean to. He was
frightened, and didn't know what he was doing."

Are you talking about me now, Roguey? I scowl. "The baby." Get back to
it.

Maddie looked unconvinced, but nodded. "The baby. You want her."

Her eyes are still on me. "You know why I hate you, Maddie?'

They're both looking at me, now, like I got some answer for them.
Talking to each other, looking at me. "No?" says Maddie, tilting her
head. And it hits me, who she looks like, that Xavier brat with the
short red hair. Softer, heavier from all those kids, her face not nearly
so sharp, though, and full of... of *resignation*. The same resignation
that Roguey gets just after a rant, or during one of her books, where
she tries to pretend that she's angry when all she wants to do is cry.

"My mutation. I can't touch anyone, or I'll kill them." Roguey's eyes
shift from me to the baby. "I'll never be a lover or a mother. And you
know what? You've been both, and you didn't want it. And that makes me
hate you."

Maddie isn't staring at me any more either. Her jaw is dropped open, and
she looks almost horrified at Roguey. This girl really is sheltered --
guess there's someone out there more nanve than me. And in all that
horror, there's a kind of sick admiration.

Roguey's the only friend I got.

Suddenly everything else seems not to matter.

"Maddie," I say, as soft as possible. "You can still have heaps of kids.
Let Roguey have this one."

Rogue turns back to me, her mouth open, and the mirror is kissing her
back.

Maddie's face is torn, hand unconsciously curling around her belly, and
Roguey's eyes widen. "You're pregnant."

"Summers," Maddie murmurs. "Yes, I'm pregnant. And I have Lucy..."

"Lucy...?"

"Sabretooth's."

A pause.

I'm getting a headache. "So let Roguey have this one. You don't exactly
have very good memories of the father, it sounds..."

Maddie looks small and alone, and wretched. I'm asking her to give away
something she never really had, and only now realises she can keep. And
her face twists a little as she stares at Rogue and at the baby in her
arms. "I hate you too," she says softly.

Roguey half-smiles. "Thought so."

Maddie looks for a long time at the baby, and I know that look. She's
kissing her own mirror somewhere...

"Take her."

Another pause, and this time, Maddie looks back at me. "And thank you."

Me?

"You'll be able to find her, I suppose," Roguey looks down at the baby.
Funny, how such a little thing can complete her, like it's all she's
ever needed to forget that she's a 'genetic dead-end, a biological
failure.'

Maddie inclines her head a little. "I am a telepath, when I'm not being
a walking womb."

Rogue is silent, before nodding. "Good luck."

"You too."

Outside, a convertible pulls up. Yellow eyes that haunt halls in my
memory peer from the driver's side, and Maddie raises an eyebrow.

"Care for a lift?"

~fin~