Title:    Transition (Story 2)
Series: A NEW LIFE
Author: MarieC
Email: mariecynthia2003@yahoo.com
Feedback: Please. Be gentle: this is my first fic
Archive: www.the-crypt.net
Pairing: Spike/Angel
Spoilers: Spike is chipped; Angel is Spike's sire; No Fred or Connor;
Buffy did not die
Rating: R
Summary: Spike is bitten by a demon in Sunnydale and has turned into
a female vampire. Angel takes her to LA after she is raped.
Warning: Transgender fic, mentions of rape
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.  They belong to
Joss Whedon, ME, WB, UPN, etc.   
**Please read the fic "Changes" before this story**
Many thanks to Ghostsforge for beta help.

4/9

Spike was sitting in the corner of Angel's couch as he returned to
the room. She was staring at the wall, knees drawn up, arms resting
on top of her knees. Angel slowly walked up to her.

"I am sorry for what happened earlier, Spike." Angel sat down on the
couch. Spike did not respond for a few minutes. The silence in the
room was palpable and eerie.

Suddenly, in her small voice, she spoke, "Why am I here, Angel?" Her
face conveyed no emotion, her voice monotone.

"What?" Angel was taken aback by the question.

"Why did you bring me here to LA? To live here?"

Angel knew his answer was of the utmost importance. He could not risk
hurting her with his reply. He knew that eventually this question
would arise. He felt that he would have more time. Spike was always
perceptive and direct.

"I was here in LA," Angel began, "and I had a bad feeling. I went to
Sunnydale, to Giles' house. We talked for some time and he took me to
your crypt." Angel paused. "After I saw you, I thought the safest
place would be for you here...in LA...with me. I was worried about you.
You are my Childe." Angel realised he had hesitated as he spoke those
words, afraid of the reaction they may evoke. There was no expression
on her face for a time. Slowly, Spike bowed her head as a half grin
emerged from her face.

"You were worried. About me." She calmly repeated Angel's words and
chuckled. She continued to sit in silence for a moment and suddenly
she turned to her Sire. "Bollocks, Angel!" Angel was surprised at the
fervour in her voice. Despite the high pitched voice, her anger was
evident. It was reminiscent of the Spike of old.

"How dare you, Angel!" Tears were now spilling out of her blue eyes,
her voice cracking with emotion. "Why are you worried about me now?
After all this time?" She stood to face her Sire. "Did you even know
that I was in Sunnydale? DID YOU?" For the first time since Angel had
rescued Spike, he saw a flash of yellow in her eyes. "Answer me!"

"No, I didn't." Angel whispered as he bowed his head in shame.

"Am I one of your projects then, Angel?"

"What?" Angel eyes wide in confusion. "No, never, not at all!" He
emphatically stated. "I missed you. I know I've made some mistakes..."

"Some?" She interrupted. "So, am I on your checklist of things to do
for your soul, then? Must be a long list, I guess, because it only
took you one hundred years to get to me!" The female vampire was
enraged at this point, pacing the room unable to keep still. "All
those years, Angel, I waited for you to come back. I thought you were
dead! I took care of Dru, for you!" Spike paused as she was sobbing
uncontrollably.

She continued, "And in Sunnyhell? You were against me. I get it! You
were all soul-having. But...when Angelus returned..." she paused as she
noticed that Angel winced at the flood of memories from that
time. "You weren't even him. The things you did to me, to Dru. Are
you even sorry?"

"You know that I am!" Angel pleaded as tears rolled down his cheeks.

The female vampire was extremely upset. She was breathing and panting
as she wiped her tears and brushed her long locks away from her thin,
pale face. Angel did not try to interrupt her. She needed this
release and Angel felt he deserved it.

"Where was your 'bad feeling' when I was chipped? They butchered me!
You were there to help Buffy at Thanksgiving as I sat starving, tied
to a chair in the Watcher's home! Where was your need to help and
rescue your Childe then, Angel? You are a right bastard and you know
it! Angelus or Angel, you're still a selfish git!"

Spike took in an unneeded breath. "You claim that you care because 
I am your CHILDE?" Angry blue eyes stared into remorseful brown
eyes. "Where was your concern when..." Spike paused for a moment almost
losing the strength to continue, "when six mortals raped me for hours...
passing me around like a rag doll over and over again! Beating me,
fucking me...leaving me to greet the sun unconscious!"

Suddenly with all her force, she attacked Angel with her fists, "I
hate you, you bastard! I hate you!" Angel did not try to stop her;
she needed to have an outlet to vent her anger and frustration. Her
tears continued. She eventually lost her energy and crumpled to the
floor away from Angel.

Angel did not know how to react. He wanted to offer comfort, but did
not want to alienate her. He sat on the floor staring at her from a
comfortable distance. He was torn on the inside. The depth of her
feelings towards him was even more that he had imagined. He had no
idea how he could even begin to repair the damage he had inflicted.

They sat in silence for an eternity. Suddenly Spike's small voice
pierced the quiet; her head bowed speaking to the ground. She had no
strength left. Her voice, but a whisper. "The tragedy of it all is
that I'll always love you. Rather pathetic, it is. You murdered me,
gave me new life, hurt me time and time again, and abandoned me. But,
I always loved you even if I hated you. It's always about you, Sire.
Whether it's Angel or Angelus. I'm in LA because you decided that is
where I should be."

Angel started to speak, but Spike continued. "I don't want to discuss
this anymore. I'm bloody tired." Spike's attitude had changed from
extreme anger to an odd form of acceptance. She had no expression to
her, almost as if conceding defeat. "If you could direct me to
another room, I think I'd like to sleep some more."

Angel had no words. As he wiped away his tears, he simply nodded. He
led Spike to the left, three doors down from his room. She nodded her
head and proceeded to close the door behind her, leaving Angel
standing in the hall alone.