Title:    Transition (Story 2)
Series: A NEW LIFE
Author: MarieC
Email: mariecynthia2003@yahoo.com
Feedback: Please. Be gentle: this is my first fic
Archive: www.the-crypt.net
         http://home.att.net/~lubakmetyk/crypt.htm#marieC
Pairing: Spike/Angel
Spoilers: Spike is chipped; Angel is Spike's sire; No Fred or Connor;
Buffy did not die
Rating: R
Summary: Spike is bitten by a demon in Sunnydale and has turned into
a female vampire. Angel takes her to LA after she is raped.
Warning: Transgender fic, mentions of rape
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.  They belong to
Joss Whedon, ME, WB, UPN, etc.   
**Please read the fic "Changes" before this story**
Many thanks to Ghostsforge for beta help.

5/9

Angel sat at his desk mindlessly rustling through some papers. He
tried to work but all he could focus on was his suffering Childe. He
was so deep in thought that he did not hear Cordelia calling his name.

"ANGEL!" The dark vampire's head shot up as he finally acknowledged
the presence of his brunette friend. "Earth to Angel!" Cordelia
exclaimed. "You were in deep brood mode there."

"I was just thinking."

"Think about this! I got Spike some awesome stuff at the mall."
Cordelia lifted the numerous bags in the air. "I can't wait to show
her. Where is she?" She did not receive an answer. "That was not a
rhetorical question, Angel."

"W-What? Did you say something?" Angel snapped back to reality.

"Okay, what gives?" Cordelia grabbed a seat. "What happened?"

Angel sighed, "I really fucked up." Cordelia's mouth hung wide open
as she realised that Angel cursed. It must be serious.

"Spike freaked out when she ran into Gunn and Wes. She calmed down
eventually. When we were upstairs, she asked me why she was in LA."

"What did you tell her?" Cordelia inquired.

"I told her the truth. That she was my Childe and I wanted to help
her. And that I missed her." Angel dropped his head into his hands.
He then looked up and continued, "It's hard for you guys to
understand the intensity of vampire relationships. The Sire/Childe
bond is very powerful, all consuming. I abused that relationship. I
failed on so many levels. To hear Spike's words and the emotions
behind them is almost unbearable." Angel looked desperate.

"Did you try to explain?"

"At that point, I couldn't even talk. Every word from her mouth
pierced my soul. As Angelus, I loved him as much as my Demon could
love. He was my obsession. I manipulated his feelings for my own
pleasure. And now, with my soul, I never even acknowledged him. I was
a coward after I was cursed. I was scared and I turned my back on
possibly the one person who may have accepted me. My William was
always more human in his affections than Demon."

Cordelia stared as the dark vampire revealed a part of his past.
Angel refrained from discussing most details of his life or unlife.
She felt honoured that her friend would share his regrets with her.
She grieved for him and for Spike.

"The hurt she feels," Angel continued, "I don't think we can overcome
it. Maybe I was selfish in bringing her to LA. Maybe I should take
her back to Sunnydale."

"Is that what she wants?"

"She didn't say. After our conversation, she went into another room.
She was so sad, Cordy. So defeated. I played a large role in that. I
don't think she can ever forgive me...I don't think I can ever forgive
myself.

"Give her time, Angel. She is adjusting to a lot." Cordelia hesitated
before she continued. "Is it okay if I bring her these things?"

"Um, sure...Room 208." Angel's tone was flat, detached.

"Thanks." Cordelia offered a warm smile to the depressed vampire and
made her way up the stairs. She found herself feeling a bit skittish
as she walked down the dark hallway towards Spike's room. The last
time she was face to face with Spike had been when he tortured Angel
over the gem. Now he was a she and Cordelia was shopping for her. She
chuckled slightly over how much life can change.

She strode to the door and placed all the bags in one hand. She
knocked gently. "Spike?" She asked softly. "Spike, it's Cordelia. Can
I come in?" An eternity passed as she waited. She was preparing to
retreat, when suddenly the door opened slightly. She saw two blue
eyes peering at her. "Er, Hi Spike." Cordelia felt nervous speaking
to her. She mustered the courage to continue. "Well, I brought you
some stuff...like, some new clothes, underwear; stuff like that. I also
included some stuff that doesn't fit me anymore. You are thinner than
I am, so I thought they might fit. That is, um, if you wanted them."
She finally stopped babbling and smiled her warm, bright Cordelia
smile.

Spike eyed her initially suspiciously but eventually was slightly
amused with her chatter. She opened the door fully and invited her
in. Cordelia walked over to the bed and placed the bags on the
comforter. She proceeded to unpack the bags and place items in piles.
Spike stood back amazed that Cordelia felt comfortable around her.

"Um, thanks...Cordelia."

"Don't thank me yet, Blondie. I'm just happy there's another female
around here now. By the way, the oversized sweat pants look has so
got to go!" Cordelia exclaimed.

Spike smiled back and giggled. She started to survey the contents on
the bed. She noticed T-shirts, pants, jeans, some other tops, and
SKIRTS? At least she was happy there were no bright pastels. There
were also bottles of shampoo, conditioner and other things that Spike
did not recognise. Suddenly Spike's eyes fell upon undergarments. She
slowly picked up a white lace bra and declared, "Bugger this! I'm not
wearing one of these things!"

"Well, Spike, you can't go around wearing thick sweatshirts all the
time. Besides, your body temp is pretty chilly, so you'll need to
wear a bra! Don't worry, I'll teach you how to put them on."

Spike's initial amusement suddenly took a turn. She gently let the
lace fall from her hands as she sat down on the bed. "I can't do
this..." she quietly whispered.

Cordelia gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're not alone,
Spike. I'll help. We all will."

Spike looked up at her and saw genuine concern. "Thanks...for the
clothes. For you know..." Spike lowered her head.

"If you ever need to talk, about anything, I'm here. That's what we
girls do. Well, I better leave you alone. Are you going to be okay?"
Spike nodded yes. "I'll come back tomorrow and help you with some of
that girly stuff. See ya!"

With that, Cordelia departed. Spike closed the door behind her with a
sigh and smile.

*