Warren and Xander let out feminine shrieks of outrage when their bodies morphed from male to female. 

Warren pointed at Xander.  “You’re a woman.”

“So, are you!” Xander said in return.  “What the hell happened?”

Anya joined the confused she-males.  “Somebody finally made a wish against you, Xander.  I simply fulfilled it.”

“Change us back!” Warren demanded.

“No can do, bucko.”  Anya shook her head.  “Not until you’ve both learned your lesson.”

“What lesson?”  Warren was confused.

Anya gave Warren a hard look.  “You both need to learn how to treat women better.”

“But, Anya, I can’t go to work like this,” Xander wailed.

Anya put her hands on her hips.  “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”  Then, she got a faraway look on her face.  After a few seconds, a grin broke out on the vengeance demon’s face.  “That’s what I’m talking about.  There’s some changes gonna happen around here now.”

“What are you talking about?” Warren looked

Xander decided that it might be best to fling himself on Anya’s mercy.  He fell to his knees in front of her.  “I’m sorry, Anya.  So, so sorry.  Please forgive me!  I’ll do anything you want.  Just please turn me back.  I miss my penis.”

Anya raised an eyebrow.  “Anything?  You will do anything?”

Xander nodded frantically.  He didn’t even think about the repercussions of his words.  As usually his mouth ran away from him before his brain kicked in.  This time it would work in Anya’s favor though.

“Now, that has possibilities.”  Anya snapped her fingers, and Xander was dressed all in pink with ruffles, bows, and curls.  “For now, you’re me, and I’m you.”

To his everlasting horror, Xander felt himself say in his sweet feminine voice, “Anya, when can we go home for orgasms?”

“Xander, what have I told you about talking about our sex life in public?”  Anya forced a blush onto her cheeks while she covered Xander’s mouth with her hand.  She turned her attention to Warren.  “Now, what to do with you?”

“I refuse to be your bitch like he is,” Warren snarled. 

Anya never removed her hand from Xander’s face.  “Don’t need you to be my bitch.  Xandie will do just fine.  However, I know just what you need.  A Warrenbot.”

Warren stared at Anya in horror.  True he loved himself above all others, and he’d made that one decoy robot … but he’d never do that.

“Hey you.”  Anya snapped her fingers at Jack who had been watching the whole scene under the guise of clearing tables.  “Wish for a Warrenbot.”

Jack had no idea what a Warrenbot was.  She’d seen some weird things in her time at the Bronze, things that in no way could be truly the affects of a gas leak, but she was completely flabbergasted at the moment.  Tonight’s events, seeing two men morph into women, had to be the weirdest ever.

“We don’t have all night,” Anya urged.

Jack shook herself out of her stupor.  “Uh, I wish for a Warrenbot.”

“Wish granted.”  Anya’s face changed into her demonic visage.

A masculine Warren appeared by the feminine one.  “I hate women, especially powerful ones,” the bot stated.  “All women must pay.”

Anya pointed at Warren.  “There’s your whipping woman, but you’re not allowed to kill or maim her.”

Warren gawked at the Warrenbot in terror.  “What if it wants sex?”

“I don’t want him too traumatized,” Jack protested.  “Punishment isn’t any good if he can escape into craziness.”

“Oh, alright,” Anya muttered.  “Some people are just not any fun.  You can’t have sex with yourself, Warrenbot.”

“Can we have sex with others?” Warrenbot asked.  “Andrew has a nice butt.”

Anya glanced at Jack who shrugged.  Then, the vengeance demon looked at Xander who had been unusually quiet, but he only stared at the Warrenbot.  “I suppose,” Anya conceded.

“Excellent.”  Warrenbot grabbed Warren’s arm, and the bot dragged the changed human from the Bronze.

Anya looked at Xander again.  “Since I’m the guy now, guess what?”

Xander gaped at Anya with wide eyes.  He was scared to death to make a guess, because he knew how Anya’s mind worked.  He just shook his head.

“No guesses, huh?” Anya chuckled.  “I get to try that strap-on you always refused to let me use on you.  Wonder if you’re a virgin in this body.”

Xander let out a half-scared, half-aroused whimper.  What was wrong with him?  Anya’s toy cock never excited him before, but now his body felt empty and expectant.

“Let’s go,” Anya said cheerfully.  “You’re in for a long night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

“I think our best bet in finding Angel would be a locator spell,” Willow said in a thoughtful voice.

Tara nodded in agreement.  “Wesley and I will do the magic.  You can be the conduit, Willow.”

“Let me gather the necessary ingredients.”  Wesley moved around his apartment collecting magical items.

Buffy looked at Spike.  “Can you tell us anything about where Angel is?”

“I’ll try.  No promises though, Slayer.”  Spike tilted his head in concentration.  “It’s a blood link, not a mating link.”

Buffy glanced at Wesley who mouthed the word ‘later’ at her.  She turned her attention back to Spike.  She ran her fingers through his hair in a manner she knew he found soothing.  She hoped it would help to calm him enough to help his concentration levels.

“Hmm, okay, there’s Dru.  I can eliminate her influence on the link.”  Spike concentrated harder.  Then he let out a bark of laughter.  “Who would have thought that sailor boy was still out there floatin’ around.”

“Who?”  Buffy looked confused.

“Lawson.  He’s one of Angel’s.”

Buffy blinked.  “Angelus has yet another child he neglected to tell us about?”

“No, pet.  Lawson was turned by Angel durin’ World War 2 on a PT boat.”

The others looked at the vampire in astonishment.  Angel was certainly neglectful with his ‘family’ history.  It was one thing to have vamps like Dru and Spike show up.  They are had been turned before the soul, but to find out that Angel actually turned someone after the soul was surprising.

“He sure has some more explaining to do,” Willow muttered.

Spike went back to concentrating.  “M’only impression is cold and dark.”

“Better use a big map of Los Angeles that includes the surrounding areas.  Angel could be anywhere,” Wesley said thoughtfully.  He went to a bookcase where he opened a box.  He shuffled through the contents until he picked up a folder paper.  “Here’s a good one.”

Tara took the map from Wesley.  She blushed when their fingers brushed together because she felt a peculiar tingle race up her arm.  “T-thanks,” she stammered.

Wesley nodded to the Wicca.  He too had felt a pleasant tingle when his fingers bumped Tara’s.  Now, he wanted to know if the same thing happened with Willow.  He gathered the magical ingredients together.  When he handed the items to Willow he made sure to sweep one long forefinger along the skin of her hand.  Wesley smiled to himself when a similar sensation raced through his arm.

Willow stared at Wesley with wide eyes.  It had been years since she had been attracted to a man.  She glanced at Tara who was watching Wesley from under her hair.  The look on Tara’s face made Willow wonder if she had felt the same flare of awareness and what they should do about it.

“Red and the witchlet are interested in the Watcher,” Spike whispered in Buffy’s ear after he noticed the interesting exchange.

Buffy studied her friends as covertly as possible.  “That’s new,” she whispered in return.

“Well, we didn’t come to Los Angeles b’fore did we?”

“No, we were too busy.”  Buffy shook her head.  “World endage.  You know how it is.”

“Should be interesin’ to watch.”

“Ready,” Wesley announced.  He held a hand out to both Willow and Tara, and together the three of them made a circle.

“Well, I think it’s cute,” Dawn whispered.  “If I was ten years older, I’d give Will and Tara some competition.”

Spike chuckled.  “He wouldn’t know what to do with three lovely ladies pursuing him.” 

Buffy pointed at her sister.  “No dating for you.  You’ve already had one vamp.”

“I promise my next vamp will be just like Spike,” Dawn said with a roll of her eyes.

“You’ve jinxed yourself now,” Buffy replied.  She smiled at Spike.  “But I’m pretty sure Spike’s one of a kind.”

“Done!” Willow announced.  She leaned over to study the map.  “That can’t be right.  Angel’s in the ocean?”

“It’s not like a vamp can really drown, Red, no matter what the physical responses are,” Spike commented.  “Some fears don’t disappear even after a turnin’.”

“Like you and the bear?” Buffy asked in a teasing tone.  “I’ve always wondered why you freaked out.”

“You would bring that up.”

Buffy giggled while she poked Spike in the ribs.

“Exactly like the bear.”  Spike tightened his grip on Buffy.  “William was mauled by a tame bear as a child.  Never mind that it was old, blind, toothless, and declawed.  It was still terrifyin’.”

“Spike, I’m honestly surprised that you haven’t made any smart comments about Angel swimming with the fishes,” Dawn chuckled while she took her turn at teasing the vampire.

“Much more fun hecklin’ Angelus in person.”

“So, we need a boat?”  Buffy scrunched her face up.  “We’re not exactly rolling in the dough.”

“You’ve been holding out on these ladies, haven’t you, Lord Jamison?” Wesley commented.   He’d mulled some of Spike’s words around in his mind.  If Spike was who Wesley thought he was, the vamp was the Chesterfield heir.

“Spillin’ m’secrets now, Watcher?” Spike grimaced.

“Money?  You have money?” Dawn gasped.  “Where?”

Spike looked into Buffy’s eyes.  “I told you I could get money so you wouldn’t have to work at that hellhole."

Buffy blushed.  “I thought you meant some illegal money.  Wasn’t that what the demon eggs were about?”

“Pet, that was about one of my poker buddies payin’ off an IOU.”  Spike leaned her face into Buffy’s shoulder.  “Sharkbreath said he’d forgive everything if I held those stupid eggs for him.  How was I supposed to know that pillock was trying to break into the international arms racket?”

“We’ll need that money, Cousin William,” Wesley chuckled.  He started to gather up the used ingredients.

Spike sighed.  “Fine, but not tonight, cuz.  Slayer’s tired.  We need to go back to the poofter’s hotel and catch some shut-eye.”

“I’ll contact the family lawyers for you.”  Wesley bowed his head to Spike.  “Father’s going to apoplexy when he finds out that we’re related to an infamous vampire.”

The Scooby girls giggled at the thought of a staunch Watcher having a cow over a vamped relative while they gathered their belongings.  They said their good-byes to Wesley.  Now that they knew where Angel was, all they needed to do was get to him.

Once back at the Hyperion it didn’t take them long to get settled.  Dawn fell asleep almost immediately, leaving the two couples awake and needing to talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Reginald Bey knocked on Rupert Giles’ door with his foot.  His book bag was bulging with tomes, as were his arms.  Reggie couldn’t wait to show his old friend one special book.  Giles had seen it years ago when he had purchased it at an estate sale.  It was only by mere coincidence that Reggie had glanced at the book while gathering information on the First Evil and helpful vampires.

Giles opened his front door.  When he saw the expression on Reggie’s face, he was compelled to ask, “What did you find?”

“She’s here, Rupert!” Reggie gushed.

“Who?”

“The Immortal Guardian.”  Reggie thrust the books into Giles’ arms.  He opened the book bag, and he removed a cloth covered bundle.  “She and her mate will protect the Hellmouth.  If I’m right, the First Evil will not be an issue.”

Giles felt his jaw drop.  “Show me!” he demanded.