18. The Recovery Process
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
“Hey, how you feeling?”
Buffy spun around to see Spike leaning in the doorway, a look of concern on his face
“I don’t know. How would you feel if you’ve killed two good friends and kidnapped your sister with the purpose of killing her, along with killing heaps of other people and it’s because you’re dead and don’t possess a conscience, then you’re alive once again and you know what you’ve done and it’s haunting you. Yeah, I don’t know”
“I was just asking, love”
“Why didn’t you kill me?” Buffy asked, tears swimming in her eyes, “You should have killed me. I don’t deserve to keep living after what I’ve done”
“We need you, Buffy. We need you in this fight and not against us either. You know all about Angel’s plans. You’re the only one who can help us now”
“I can’t, Spike. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I can’t win this fight for you. I’ve done so much wrong, I don’t deserve to be here anymore”
“Yes you do, Buffy. This is what you were called for. The final battle between good and evil. You’re meant to save the world”
“I don’t care about the world. I’m tired of fighting all the time”
“So, you’re willing to let the whole world burn?”
“I killed Cordelia! I killed Connor! I turned Angel into Twilight. I tortured Dawn! I’ve killed a lot of people and I enjoyed it. I feel so sick about it”
Spike sighed, running both hands through his hair
“I figured you be like this. Luckily, nothing catastrophic is happening just yet, so I’ve spoken with Dracula and he’s arranged something for you”
“What’s that?”
“Dracula has arranged for you to go to Tibet. There, you’ll meet someone who will help you through your suffering”
Just then, Dracula and Wesley entered the room
“Are you ready to go?” Wesley asked, “I will teleport you to Tibet”
“Okay, sure, teleport me,” Buffy said
Wesley opened the portal and Buffy stepped through, as it closed behind her. She then found herself in the mountains of Tibet, surrounded by yaks and Buddhist temples. Looking around and enjoying the feel of the sunshine on her skin, Buffy spotted a familiar face waiting for her near a temple
“Hey, Oz!” Buffy cried with happiness
The werewolf smiled and headed over to embrace his high school friend
“So, I hear you need some help,” Oz said
“Yeah, I believe that’s the case. Wow, Oz, I haven’t seen you in about six years. What have you been doing?”
“I’ll tell you all about it later. Then, we start our training”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
“So, you think she’ll be fine with Oz?” Wesley asked
“She’ll do fine. I have taught him very well,” Dracula said, “Now, where were we?”
Wesley and Dracula headed into the next room, where Spike, Willow, Illyria, Lindsey, Kate and Faith were seated at a large table
“Welcome to the Round Table of Camelot,” Spike said
“So, what’s the plan?” Wesley asked
“Don’t know. Buffy’s in Tibet and she’s the only one who really knows about Angel’s plan. There is the matter of Dawn still being in Angel’s hands”
“And she has been moved. I haven’t been able to locate her this time,” Willow said, “I also don’t know where Angel is either. Can’t find a single trace of him”
“Well, this is getting us nowhere,” Faith said, “Why won’t we just knock some skulls and find some answers that way?”
“It’s already been tried,” Lindsey said, “The demons are too scared to talk to us”
“Wow, Angel is reliving his glory days,” Spike said, “Back then, everyone was scared of Angelus. Well, except for the Whirlwind”
“So, we’re screwed,” Kate said, “We have nothing to go on. Our best lead is in another country, recovering and our enemy is doing God knows what”
“I think God is out of the equation here,” Dracula said, “How’s the Slayers?”
“They’re fine,” Willow said, “Shaken up, but recovering”
“I don’t know how much time we’ve got left until Angel’s payday,” Spike said, “For all we know, it could be tomorrow. Or even today”
“What we need to do is form a battle plan,” Wesley said, “We have no way of tracking Angel nor knowing when he’s going to deliver the payload. But the least we can do is form a plan of battle in case we’re too late in stopping him”
“Well, we would have to contact every Slayer we know,” Faith said, “Bring them all here and prepare them for the coming battle. But here’s the problem. Where we may have about one thousand and six hundred Slayers, Angel would have hundreds upon hundreds of demons and vampires”
“We have Riley’s commando teams,” Kate said, “They’ll be useful”
“But we need more allies,” Wesley said, “And we don’t have many. Unless”
“Unless what?” Illyria asked
“There are talks of a powerful dragon community high in the alps of Switzerland. Somewhere between one hundred and two hundred of the beasts”
“How are you going to get a dragon community to fight for us?” Spike asked
“Dragons are honourable and noble creatures. And they enjoy some forms of magic, being magical creatures themselves. If we can convince them, we have a chance”
“Okay, well, you and Dracula can go to Switzerland and convince them. The rest of us will prepare ourselves for war”
Wesley and Dracula got up from their chairs, as the former created a blue portal, which the pair then walked through. Spike sighed and placed his face in his hands
“What’s the matter?” Kate asked
“I don’t know if we’re going to survive this battle. I don’t think we will win”
“It’s not a matter of winning,” Lindsey said, “It’s a matter of trying”
“Well, we’re just gonna have to try hard to win. I’m gonna train”
Spike got up and left the room. Illyria watched him go, before following after him to the training room, where he was already releasing his anger upon the punching bag
“You are full of tension and pain,” she commented
“Yeah, thanks, Blue. Tell me something I don’t know,” Spike said
“You think that we will not win this war. You think we will all fall”
“We don’t have the power to challenge Angel. He’ll decimate us. I know the guy. He will keep on fighting if the cause is worthy. And in his eyes, it is worthy”
“Perhaps sending Buffy away may not have been a good idea”
“Well, at the moment, she’s no good to us until she gets her mind clear”
“You are tense. I’ll leave you alone”
Illyria promptly left the room, as Spike growled and punched the bag in anger
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
“Wow, Oz, this is so beautiful,” Buffy said, looking at the mountains, “I can see why you would want to live here. It’s so peaceful”
“Yeah, it’s pretty nice,” Oz replied, “Let’s focus on your pain, shall we?”
“Okay”
Oz led Buffy into the temple and they sat down in the middle, cross-legged and facing each other. Oz closed his eyes and places his hands on his knees, as Buffy copied him, both soon entering the mediative state. Concentrating, Oz reached out with his mind, touching Buffy’s and slowly entering. She was surprised at first, but relaxed upon realizing that it was Oz
“Tell me about your pain, Buffy,” Oz said
“I became a vampire. I was nothing inside. All I wanted to do was cause death and destruction,” Buffy said, “I attacked and killed Cordelia. I told Angel he was nothing. I attacked my sister, killing her husband and leaving her daughter fatherless. I’ve killed so many people just to quench my thirst for blood”
“That’s good, Buffy. How are you feeling now?”
“Like a complete wreck. Jimmy Cricket is sitting on my shoulder, telling me what a bad person I am and that I should be punished. That’s the abridged version”
“It wasn’t you who caused this pain and misery, Buffy. You have to accept that. You must gradually overcome the pain to become a better person”
“I know, Oz, but it’s so hard. I can’t get over it. I did so many terrible things”
“No one is ever perfect. Even I’m not perfect. We all have our flaws and weaknesses. We all have obstacles to overcome. This is your hurdle you must jump”
“It’s a good thing I’ve got you for a teacher”
Oz smiled in Buffy’s mind
“I’m here to help, Buffy. Whenever you need me, just call”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX