19.  Reflecting Moments

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Angel stood atop the building roof, staring down at the streets of Los Angeles. Dressed in all black, including his trademark leather three quarter coat, Angel watched over the citizens of LA as he thought about his un-life. A lot of things had changed for him over the years. He had gone from morally ambiguous to downright sadistic evil to the good guy fighting for redemption and now, he was an anti-villain, fighting to save the world, even if it meant destroying it. And it was all because he had lost the love of his life. Cordelia had been his reason for living, his reason for fighting for redemption and now that she was gone, it was all pointless now. Even worse, she had been murdered by Buffy, which made Angel decide to get revenge and he knew this was the best form of revenge against the Slayer. Add to the fact that Buffy had also murdered Connor and Angel knew there was no stopping him now. He would not stop until Buffy and the Slayer line was destroyed. Even though he had been working with Buffy for the last month, he knew her comeuppance was coming, which was why he wasn’t worried that he hadn’t heard from her since she left to battle Spike one last time. He just simply felt cheated that he hadn’t been able to kill Buffy himself and avenge Cordelia and Connor, but at least there was the Slayer line to destroy. Also that he would be able to kill Spike in retaliation for killing Buffy

“And there’s the Shanshu prophecy to fulfil. I really believed I had already achieved that when Cordelia first returned to me, but that wasn’t the truth. Maybe it was the Powers’ plan to make me human so it would lead to all this. Maybe this is the plan of the Powers That Be, to end all magic in the world so humanity is saved at last”

The age of demons was coming to an end. Angel knew that demons, vampires and humans could never co-exist and one set of species had to go. By eliminating magic and therefore the demons and vampires, Angel knew that the humans would be safe from creatures of the night. No family would ever get torn apart by a vampire attack. No one would ever have to fear going out at night. Communities wouldn’t have to worry about demons being raised and set upon the civilians all because of something petty. Angel believed he was preventing pain and sadness being caused, that he was preventing people from going through the pain of losing a loved one due to supernatural entities. It was time for humans anyway. Magic didn’t belong anymore, although Angel knew he was being a little hypocritical, since he was using magic to achieve his goals, but it was also so it would eradicate magic from the world

“Master?”

Angel turned around to see Icarus standing before him. Icarus was a newborn fledgling, having been sired by Buffy about a few nights ago, but already he was showing the makings of a leader, which is why Icarus had been promoted to right-hand man following the deaths of Lucas and Buffy. Angel believed Icarus was capable of being a real leader in the face of death. Tall and muscular, Icarus was bald, with tattoos on his skull and a small goatee

“What can I do for you, Icarus?” Angel asked

“We are ready. The vampires are assembled, the humans are ready for the ritual and Dawn is in position for the portal. We’re just waiting for your command”

“How is Non coming along?”

Although Non had had her arm ripped off and her neck violently broken by Illyria in London, she had somehow managed to survive the assault until Angel found her and taken her away for medical attention. Her arm had been reattached and her neck was straightened, but after sucking the life-force of two captured Slayers, Non was fully healed, but had been kept in observation to check her capabilities in battle

“She seems to be doing well,” Icarus replied, “She’s also getting agitated”

“Good. We shall leave soon. The final battle is so close now, Icarus. I can smell it. And I can’t wait for it”

“Neither can I, Master. Shall we?”

Icarus stepped aside as Angel walked passed, before following after him

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“How are you feeling?” Oz asked

“Getting better, but it’s not easy,” Buffy replied, “I still find it hard to get over all the killing and bad things I’ve done. I don’t think I’ll ever let it go”

“You’re not supposed to, but the thing is to accept what you’ve done and try to move on. Don’t mean to pressure you, but there is a final battle coming. And this is the final battle. The battle to end all battles”

“I know, Oz. I want to fight, but I’m not ready. Not yet. I have too much to deal with right now. I mean, I even killed Giles, who was my mentor and even my father figure. And I simply killed him like he was nothing to me”

“At times we slip and I know that what you did isn’t excusable,” Oz said, “Probably could be though, seeing as it wasn’t really you”

“But it was me, Oz, that’s the thing. It was my body, just possessed by a demon and nothing else. The thing is, those people I killed; Cordelia, Connor, Giles, they all saw my face before they died. I was the one who killed them”

“Were you in control of your actions?” Oz asked

“Well, when you really think about it, perhaps. I guess I wasn’t in control, but it was still my actions that committed the crimes,” Buffy said, before growling in frustration, “God, this is so difficult. The guilt hurts too much, Oz. It hurts so much”

“Then, that would show that you are human, correct?”

“I guess, but even still, I am responsible for what vamp me did”

“I understand, Buffy. We’re working on getting past that,” Oz said with a smile

Buffy smiled back, before giving her friend a hug

“Oh god, it’s so good to be here with you, Oz”

“Yeah, I know. Shall we go on a mental mind walk again?”

“Sure”

Buffy and Oz sat across from each other, crossing their legs over and placing their hands palm up on their knees, before closing their eyes and concentrating

“How are you on terms with your past actions?”

“Feeling terrible, as usual. I know I shouldn’t dwell. I’m not a dweller. Well, I try not to, but sometimes I do and this is one of those times that I do. And I’m not real sure how I feel exactly about what I’ve done. I’ve killed and caused so much pain, but it wasn’t really me. I wasn’t in control, but it was still me. And I guess that can mess with your mind. Cause I was technically dead for six months, but now I’m fully alive and that package came equipped with a conscience. So yeah, I’m messed up”

Oz chuckled slightly in her mind

“So, you’re coming along fine? Seems like it to me. You’re progressing along fine, but there still is some work to do. You ready for it?”

“Of course, Master Yoda”

“Very funny, Buffy”

“So, Oz, how’s Kelden?”

“He’s doing just fine. Shall we focus on you, not me?”

“Of course. Just asking”

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“You are silent, which isn’t normal for you”

Spike sighed, before looking over his shoulder at Illyria. She was dressed in normal clothes as she stood in the doorway, while Spike was sitting at the desk, his duster lying on the bed and his feet resting up on the table-top

“Yeah, I know. Just going through a lot of things right now”

“You need to take your mind off things”

“Bit hard, Blue, considering what’s going on. Angel’s gone evil, Buffy’s in rehabilitation, Dawn’s been kidnapped, everyone’s dead or dying and there’s nothing I can do to stop it all. War is coming, Illyria, and we’re not going to win”

“Yes, the final battle is approaching. And we may not all survive in the fight. But we must try and salvage what we have left before doomsday approaches”

“Yeah, like what and how?”

“Our happiness together is disappearing because of what’s coming. If we are to die, we must take part in some happiness together. One last finale memory if you will”

“Leery, what are you trying to say?”

“Spike, I wish to be married before the final battle. I want us to get married while we still get. We don’t have much time left. We should make the most of it”

Spike spun around and got up out of the chair to retaliate, but then stopped and thought about Illyria’s words. What she was suggesting was crazy, especially at a time like this, but she was talking sense. Spike knew they could throw a quick wedding and he knew that it was important to Illyria. If it was something that she really wanted, then he could give it to her. Who was he to deny her?

“Alright then, pet, sounds like an idea. Let’s make a wedding”

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