"Forget *MY* birthday would you Wagner?"
Amanda Sefton rummaged through various jars.
"Not even apologising when you realise?"
Grabbing a pinkish powder she dumped its contents into the pot.
"Hmmmm...Fleas?.....Nope. Hairloss?.....Nope. Ah Hah! Perfect!"
Alighting on a small jar branded with the word 'Dangerous' she read the label.
'Scorned? Forgotten? Then shrink the offender down to size. Warning one teaspoon only.'
"This will teach him."
Carefully measuring one teaspoon she added the grey powder while chanting a send spell.
Then.....she sneezed......
Amanda watched in horror as the entire jar fell into the pot. The mixture fizzed, bubbled and began to glow.
"Oh sh........"
The pot exploded and Amanda flew backwards, knocking herself unconscious against a nearby wall. The smoke began to clear revealing that the pot was empty.
**********************************
"Whats the point of these bleeding early morning sessions?"
Being relunctantly dragged down the corridor Pete Wisdom grumbled loudly. Pointedly ignoring him Kitty shoved him through the door and into the room where everyone else was already seated.
"Pryde, you know I 'ate it when you do that."
"Guten Morgan Herr Wisdom." Kurt stood. gesturing for quiet. "Let us go through this quickly. We all have other things we can be doing."
"Yeah, like sleeping..."
Kurt ignored Pete's interruption and continued.
"Now regarding....."
He broke off as a silver mist began to fill the room.
"What the...."
And then the world turned inside out.
**********************************
Groaning Kurt opened his eyes. The last thing he remembered was some kind of mist then a gut wrenching sensation. Forcing his self upright he quickly checked that nothing was broken. Then he turned his attention to his surroundings. The ground was a dull red. Soft and springy underfoot. Glancing upwards he noted there didnt appear to be a sky, but instead a vast canopy of white. Intersected with some kind of large wooden arch.
"Mein God. Ver ist this?"
Then he caught sight of Meggan swopping down towards him, bearing Kitty, Peter and Pete. The latter having his eyes closed tight and muttering loud curses at every diety he could think of.
"Ok.....somebody bleeding better have a good explanation for this."
Pete turned and glared at Kurt.
"Any idea why we're all suddenly 3 inches high?"
******************************************
Amanda groaned. And wondered why a dance troop had appeared to take up residence in her head. Rubbing at the back of her head she sat up. Her memories flooded back. The spell....the sneeze...Oh God!
Struggling to stand a voice stopped her dead in her tracks. A voice *everyone* feared.
"Nice of you to finally wake up Amanda."
She whimpered and looked up at the large imposing figure.
"Oh God......"
The figure laughed.
"Not exactly...but close."
The figure gave a frown and leaned down towards Amanda.
"Quite frankly I owe you a thank you. I've been wondering what to do with Excalibur for some time now...and the little stunt you just pulled has made up my mind."
Amanda cowered back against the wall.
"No...please....."
The figure snapped his fingers and with a scream Amanda appeared to shrink in upon her self and vanish.
"One down. Excalibur to go."
*****************************************
"Three inches high?"
"Kurt will you stop repeating that or I swear I'll......."
Kitty bit off her retort. Everyone was extremely on edge. Kurt shook his head.
"We need to see if any one else on the island has been affected. Meggan.....take Peter and try to make it to the lab...see if Moira and Rahne are still....normal. Kitty, Wisdom try to track down Douglock. I'll....I'll...three inches high?"
"Great. The guy's brain has shut down. Bloody great."
Grabbing Pete's arm Kitty dragged him to the edge of the chair. Stepping off into the air they both floated downwards.
"Shut up Pete."
Disappearing downwards the grumbling grew quiet.
Meggan placed a hand on Kurt's arm.
"Are you ok?"
He nodded.
"Ya. Fine. Just go and see if you can get to the lab."
With a worried nod Meggan lifted Peter up and vanished upwards over the top of the table. Kurt sat down on the chair, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.
"Three inches? Why me? Why always these things happen to me? Just once why cant we have a normal day?"
A booming voice interrupted his ponderings.
"Dont worry Kurt. It'll all be over with soon."
Gazing up the last thing Kurt saw was a huge hand reaching down for him.
*****************************************
Pete was running. Fast. Like he had a choice. Without pausing he fired off a barrage of hot knives. No affect. Bounced off his hide without a mark. If being 3 inches high wasnt bad enough his powers had shrunk down in effect too. He was loosing ground.
"God Pryde I swear when I get back to normal I'm gonna skin that bloody dragon alive."
Behind him Lockheed was having the time of his life. Fair enough his love Kitty was yelling at him. Hanging onto his tail. But this was *fun*. He let out another stream of flame and gave a deep dragon chuckle at Pete's anguished cry as it found its target. He doubted he'd ever get another chance to do this. Placing his talons around Pete, Lockheed leaned down balefully staring at him. He opened his mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth. Pete closed his eyes.
After a pause he opened them again. Lockheed was hanging in the iron grip of some huge monster. Kitty was unconscious on his back. Straining his neck Pete looked upwards.
"You? Oh crap....."
***************************************
Peter braced his self as Meggan dropped him. Hitting the button dead on, his weight depressed it this time, opening up the communications with the quarantined Moira and Rahne. Rahne's face appeared on the monitor looming above them.
"Hello....?"
Meggan flew up and hovered in front of the screen.
"Meggan?"
Rahne squinted.
"I think there's something wrong with the monitor. Ye look small."
"There's nothing wrong. I am. We all are. Somehow we seem to have shrunk. Kurt sent us to find out if you and Moira were affected."
Rahne shook her head. Meggan noticed a shadow behind Rahne.
"Rahne, whats that?"
Turning Rahne gave out a cry. Then the monitor went dead. Meggan flew at the monitor frustratedly.
"Rahne..whats happening...talk to me....."
A low grating humming came from the door. Both Meggan and Peter turned in shock. The door had a lock on it that should only be activated when Moira had a cure for the legacy virus. Something was very wrong. The large mysterious figure strode out of the lab. Both Meggan's and Peter's faces drained.
"Run Peter run."
Meggan took the the air, hopelessly trying to escape. But it was too late. A hand plucked her from the air, while the other hand scooped up Peter.
"I think that about covers it."
The figure looked down at the unconscious team held in the palm of his hand, mentally counting.
"Sefton, Wagner, Pryde, Wisdom, Rasputin, Meggan, Rahne, MacTaggart, Douglock, Lockheed. All present and correct."
*****************************************
Kurt groaned and for the second time that day swum back to consciousness. Around him in various states of shock, disbelief and anger sat the rest of Excalibur. He sat up and rubbed his head. Last thing he remembered this time was a huge hand.
Huge hand? He laid back down wishing he hadnt woke up.
"Nice to see you finally with us Nightcrawler."
The booming voice cut through Kurt. Opening his eyes his gazed travelled upwards staring at what the rest of Excalibur were looking at. Overhead the huge imposing figure of Bob Harras gazed back down at the tiny group.
"Now your awake we can finish this."
Reaching out a hand he scooped up the team. Muffled cries of outrage come from within his grasp. Walking over to large box Bob kicked a quivering balled up figure hunched on the floor.
"Outta the way Raab."
The figure dejectedly moved aside begging forgiveness, the chains around him making his movements slow. Reaching the box, Bob pulled the lid off and dumped the shrunken team inside. Cries of pain as they hit the floor.
Standing Kurt surveyed where Bob had dumped them. All around were others milling aimlessly, squinting at the sudden influx of light. Amongst them were those he recognised.
"Brian!!!"
Meggan launched herself at a familar figure. All around the rest of the team were recognising others they hadnt seen for years. Looking up with a sinking feeling Kurt watched as a smiling Bob Harras replaced the lid on the box.
Replacing the lid Bob placed the box back in its place. Turning he walked away. Leaving behind him a large plain white box with the words "Canned Characters" written on its side. From within a quiet scream of helplessness was heard.
The End