I hung up the phone and glared at Destiny,
she was trying at the best of times, and getting Pete Wisdom sober with
her supposed help wasn't going to be a picnic. Remy had just asked
a whole hell of a lot of me, not that I hadn't wanted to do it since I'd
come from back from the mission. I'd known him for nearly fifteen
years and I owed him that much at the very least. All those months
ago when Pete and Kitty had broke up I had to suppress the urge to hunt
her down and do something that I would regret...
I like the kid and everything, but Pete's
nearly family.
Destiny was grinning her head off, the same
insane grin she had when she had refused to kill the 'cute guy.'
I knew they knew each other, but I really didn't know how. I must
be the only woman in intelligence who HASN'T slept with him. Great.
I don't mind now, but back when I first met him I would have been very
jealous. I only had this HUGE crush on him and he ONLY ignored it
and ADOPTED me! Like a sister! The bloody wanker!
I noticed Des walking back over to Pete and
I ran over to stop her from doing anything stupid, then again, this is
Des, what doesn't she do that isn't stupid? Des was bending over,
kissing Pete, gun to his chest. I caught a whisper, "Dearest, we're
going to get you cleaned up. You need a bath..."
"For God's sake, Destiny, this is NOT the
place!" I yelled at her. I pulled her off Pete, and watched as she
skillfully hid her gun in the folds of her coat. She scowled at me
and went back to the bar to pay Pete's tab, or so she said. I wasn't
going to go anywhere near that, considering how long he's been drinking
in this pub. I wonder why she feels like she owes him this...
I wouldn't have paid THAT much, and I love the man like a brother, then
again, with all the signs Des was showing, she'd probably slept with him
and loved him like a well.. lover, definitely NOT a brother!
"Bloody hell, you're pissed!" I laughed at
him as I helped him up. "I haven't seen you this bad since 'Cania's sixteenth!"
"No I'm not, I'm perfectally... yea, I'm locked,
aren't I?" He asked looking at me with those big adorable blue eyes.
"What month is it?"
"Come on mate."
"Where are we goin'?"
"Me and Des are getting' you sober."
"You know Des?"
"Yup."
"Why's she 'ere? Where 's she?" He slurred
his words together, not surprising. He was looking at me with those
huge puppy dog eyes he gave when he was confused, or being cute, but I'd
bet on the confused right now.
"Because, we're taking a break from the mission.
And we were in London, so we came here. She's over at the bar, paying
yer huge tab. Les's going to be rich." I spoke the words very slowly
so he'd understand.
He blinked. "Oh." I don't know
if he was surprised about us taking a break and coming here, or Des paying
his bill, or if he was just not quite here anymore.
"God, Pete, you look like shit! My poor,
poor paranoid git, let me take you somewhere and fix you all up, and make
you all better." Des said as she came up behind Pete, wrapping her arms
around him, and crawling under his shoulder.
"Christsake Des! Ya can't screw him
here. Or at all!" I growled at her.
Pete looked at me, with his puppy dog eyes,
again, "Why not?"
Des smiled and snuggled closer to him, sighing,
"Yea, why not?"
I looked at the ceiling and mumbled, "God,
wot did I do to deserve this? Was I one of Conjob's ancestors in
a past life?"
Pete looked like he was getting comfortable
with the idea of screwing Des, and Des looked JUST FINE as well.
Great, I was right, they had screwed. Perfect, now I'd have to keep
them from screwing AND get Pete sobered, AND cleaned up, AND decent.
This was going to be a VERY long night!
Pete bent down and kissed Des on the forehead.
She closed her eyes and a tear fell from her eyes, he quickly brushed it
away, and kissed her cheek, hugging her tightly. If she hadn't been
crying, I'd have thrown a drink on them, but I'd never seen Des cry and
I knew Pete must mean a lot to her. I wondered at that moment exactly
what had happened between them. The only other time I'd seen Des
emotional was at her grandmother's house in Prauge.
"Come on you two, Pete, ya need a bath, terribly,
and Des... grab a drink or somethin', you'll need it." I said as I grabbed
my coat and left a tip for the waitress. This was going to be a long
night...
* * *
Chas Chandler drove in front of the Crown and
hoped that no one would hail him. It was a spy bar. Spies weren't as bad
as John, that wasn't possible after all, and he didn't owe any, but they
came as close as possible. Tonight had been pretty good so far. He'd ferried
around tourists that gave huge tips for the most part. If he didn't have
to put up with Conjob-- or 'Cania—or drunk spies, the day would be perfect.
A woman wearing a black leather jacket waved
him down. Damn it. Damn it! She had come out of the Crown. "Chas, right?"
Fuck, she knew Constantine, he recognized
her. "Yeah..."
She turned around for a moment. "I got a cab
Des.", she yelled a a younger blonde woman who was holding up a very drunk
man in a black trenchcoat. The birds were both lookers, too. "The St. Martin
Hotel then mate."
The blonde helped the man into his nice clean
cab. He recognized him too. Wisdom. Just bloody perfect. And he was a bloody
mess. His day was screwed. Then again, the women were easy on the eyes.
Which was a huge understatement.
* * *
The cab driver took his money and his tip,
and gave Javie-babe and me another quick once-over, and looked relieved
that the cab hadn't blown up. But I'd seen the once-over look before,
when Pete and I went shopping on the mission, that 'damn-luck-son-of-a-bitch-got-a-looker-on-his-arm'
look. Yes, it was annoying, at times, but once in a while it was
nice to know a man could really appreciate your body without touching it.
Yes, I do enjoy teasing...
I walked up to the St. Martin Hotel's entrance
and a polite young man who was exiting with his girlfriend opened the door
for us, yes, that happens a lot. I entered, with Pete on my arm.
This place was beautiful, to me at least. It looked wondrous, for
a hotel an ex-agent owned anyway.
"I'll go get a room." Javelin said as she
walked past me, glaring at Pete and me. Screw her, she could glare
all she wanted, it wouldn't change anything. The staircase wasn't
extremely fancy, but to a person who'd been in the middle east for the
past few months, it looked heavenly, as did the rather cute man on it.
He was in his early forties and to be perfectly honest, looked a bit like
Pete, only less scruffy and more... suave. He was wearing a pair of
blue tinted glasses and had a martini glass in his hand, he had beautiful
blue eyes that I noticed as I walked closer to where he was. He looked
dreamy, for lack of a better word. He was wearing a tux, and was...
somehow clearly a ladies' man.
"Hello." He greeted us, giving me the once
over.
"Oh for Godsake, Jimmy, get a life.
I talked to Q earlier." Javelin said as she grabbed the specs from his
face and broke them.
Pete was trying to hide a laugh behind me
as Javelin went on, "They are so childish. Unless you were looking at Pete's
ass... Jimmy? Are you hiding something from us?"
Pete's laughter was uncontrollable, he was
not only drunk, but now he was making fun of another agent, things were
looking up. After Jimmy's chin was removed from the floor he smiled,
laughed a little, and walked away very quickly. Guess we insulted
his pride, too bad.
"What in hell was that all about?" I asked,
laughing, but still confused.
"Oh, him? It's just fun to mock him.
Damn boy's mind's in his pants." Javelin said as she lead the way up the
stairs to our room. We got there, room number sixty-nine, how appropriate.
Javelin winced at the number and immediately
turned on us, "I don't want to even hear it from you two, not one word!
Nothing! It was the only decent room available, so deal with it!"
I was giggling and shaking my head, "Javie-babes,
I didn't say a thing-"
"You were thinking it though..."
"Ok, I'll plead guilty to that one."
"Damn right you will!" Javelin said as she
opened the door and walked in. Great room, big bed, hot tub right
next to a shower, mirrors all over the place, a regular honeymoon suite.
Great!
* * *
Great. A honeymoon suite. They could have mentioned
this. It wouldn't be that bad if Des wasn't here. Hell, the bloody "living
legend" would be more help. He isn't a wanker all of the time and he didn't
want to screw Pete, despite my quips. Actually we get along pretty well,
ignoring orders and being sarcastic at my Gran—I mean M—is bonding. Ick.
Bad pun. Maybe I could catch up with him... Nah, he had probably met up with
that scientist bird that was about half his age. And Des and Pete would
screw like rabbits while I was gone.
"Alright mate, think ya can stand up on your
own?"
Wisdom nodded. He wasn't very good at coherent
speech at the moment.
"Good." Okay, now divide and conquer. "Okay
Des, why don't you go buy him some clothes."
"Sure." She smiled.
That was too easy. I was expecting more protest.
Or any. Damn. Something told me this wasn't going to work.
Des smiled sweetly and pulled out a cell phone.
As she talked into it she began to run a bath in the hot tub. Aw, fuck.
She wouldn't. What am I thinking? She would.
I pulled off Wisdom's coat, shoes, suit jacket,
tie, and shirt and stuck him into the shower. "There's soap and stuff in
there. Wash off. Please. You smell awful." I turned on the water and Pete
yelped in shock. After a moment he was staring at something behind me.
Against my better judgement I turned around and was greeted by Destiny's
back. Completely free of clothing. I managed to not say anything and turned
back. I reached into the shower and made the water ice cold. I closed the
door on Pete howling in protest. Whether it was about the temperature or
the loss of the view I don't want to know. Okay, I already know.
"Do you mind!"
Des turned around—completely naked-- and tried
to give me kitten eyes. "What?" I'd like to know what that girl has against
clothes. Hitman and Viper are always drooling over her even though she
doesn't show quite as much skin around them.
"Oh God Des, turn around, I don't need a view.
Neither does Pete, remember WHY we're getting him sober?"
Pete opened the door and commented, "Well,
actually, I could use a view. And why are you tryin' ta get me sober
anyway?"
I glared at him, and he shut the door again,
but not without taking another glance at Des first. "Kitty's coming
to London. I thought at the very least you wouldn't want to be pissed
as a newt. And, no, you do NOT need a view, neither do I for that
matter Des. So put some friggin' clothes on!"
"I'm bathing, and you can just go fuck yourself!"
She said, turning around, and putting shampoo in her hair, humming something.
I stomped out of the room, and threw open the door,
only to find a room service-person pushing a cart down the hallway.
I ran up to him, smiled, grabbed the bucket of ice, and quickly explained,
"I need ta borrow this for a quick bit mate." And ran back to the
room, slammed the door in his face, and marched into the bathroom, and
promptly dumped the ice all over Des. There, I was satisfied.
She'd been needing that all day long.
I chose at that moment to avoid getting wet by stepping
out of the bathroom to go see what was on TV. Ok, ok, I was just
wantin' ta get out of the bathroom. I could hear Des' screams and
growls, she was pissed as hell. Not a 'happy camper' as the Yanks
put it. I waited a while, until the noise lessened, and then chose
to reenter the bathroom. Des was out of the tub, and had a bathrobe
on. Evil ideas started popping into my head. Too late to think,
I reacted on impulse, I pushed her back into the still steaming hot tub,
bathrobe and all. And, as expected or rather NOT expected, she pulled
me in with her.
I heard laughter coming from behind us, Pete was
standing, naked, laughing his ass off at us. Great. I climbed
out of the tub, and shoved him into the tub, right on Des, who was gasping
for air, holding her gun. This was funny. But it wasn't a good
idea to shove the two into a hot tub together, damn impulses. I started
helping Pete up, as did Des. She was holding onto his ass, 'helping'
him out of the tub. I very quickly shoved him back into the shower
and blasted him with cold water, only to hear another scream, this one
more coherent.
"Bloody fuck! God's shit! COLD!
LET ME OUT!!!!" he yelled. I was smiling.
Very luckily he's forgetting he's a mutant, I've
noticed he does that when he gets drunk sometimes, luckily this was one
of those times. But this was so terribly funny...
* * *