Subject: [OTL]: [BirthdayFic] [Hellblazer, Silly] Fruit of knowledge... Date: Sun, 12 May 2002 14:16:38 +0200 From: Oberon John Constantine glared blearily at the enemy. It was pink. Pink and with rather rounded corners and partially made out of transparent plastics. Gemma had said that this was the new wave, the path of the future and that he really shouldn't be left behind. Right now, John was feeling quite nostalgic for the old times, like about twenty minutes ago when he hadn't known shit about this thing. He still didn't know shit about it and that was starting to annoy him, especially with all the interesting little errormessages it was giving him. Gemma had helped him set up an e-mail account, that part had looked quite simple. Well, that had been when she had still been around, obviously the damnable machine liked her. Now that she was gone all of the sudden it would just sit there, consuming electricity at a rate that scarily reminded him of Chas and a bottle of alcohol. And being just about as productive for it. He had even tried to call the support number listed in the papers he had gotten. After a good 30 minutes in a phone queque he had gotten connected to a lady that had told him that "Sorry you have a OEM licencse, that means that the reseller of the machine has you tech support." At that point he had started smoking, and that was almost a full package ago. Smoking hadn't helped either. In fact he was starting to think that his birthday present was mocking him. And now after he had given it just a little helpful slap it was starting to give him even more confusing error messages. He was kinda proud of the one with the sad Mac on it in fact. It felt fitting that they'd both feel uncomfortable about the situation. With a sigh he slapped the computer again. And once again it gave him the sad Mac face when he restarted it, in a way it was chilling, he was thinking that maybe just maybe HE had screwed up and broken it. Gemma would not be pleased if that was the case. In fact she might actually be just a bit mad at him considering that the bloody thing cost a pretty penny and then another. He looked up as the door creaked open, rather hoping to have the abominable machine destroyed in a fight with some hoodlum. He was not going to have such luck today though it seemed. "Hi John, what are you up to?" Anyone, absolutely fucking anyone, else would have gotten a none-too-happy ‘piss off' delivered at that. As the unwanted and not really welcome visitor sat down straddling a chair and looking at his trouble with an amused look on her face, John could feel his stomach starting to produce insane amounts of stomach acid. It was one thing to be humiliated when nobody saw it. But being humiliated in front of his woman... That was putting the knife low. Five minutes passed and he tried to act as if he knew what he was doing, and well at the least following the trouble-shooter's guide at the end of the manual he managed to get rid of the sad mac-face. Instead however he managed to get one of the fans to break of a bit and it was now making a sad whirring whiny sound. Not all unlike Kit's laughter as she made fun of him. "Look. If you can't help, at the least don't make it worse." He really hated how whiney he sounded but right now he didn't really have the energy to get mad or just bite down and take it. "Awww... Poor dear. Have you tried calling tech support yet?" "Twice" he bit off not liking the conceding tone one bit better than the laugh. "And? What did they say?" She asked the corner of her mouth twitching in what looked suspiciously like a smirk to him. "Not their table. It some OWM or something with the machine and they don't know how to fix it." Somehow this produced more laughter. "It means it's sold on a special license, preinstalled with stuff to use. It also means that you need to call the other tech support, the guys that originally sold the machine. And... it's OEM." "Bitch." He grumped under his breath, but he looked at the papers again desperately trying to find a number that didn't look as if it would get his soul sold... again. "I heard that John." She beamed at him and sat down in a most unhelpful manner smiling a very knowing smile. "I guess that means you don't really want my help do you?" Kit retreated from the thrown pillow and closed the door. When John was in that mood it was usually better to just leave him alone and go out for a walk. And who knows maybe he'd feel better about it all if he got to solve it himself. After all that was just sparing his pride. Not at all being vengeful for him being grumpy at her. She kept telling herself that all the way out in the stairwell where she finally let the laughter rip free. Somehow she didn't all think it was coincidence that she heard John's door slam shut by the wind almost the same moment. "... BLOODY bitch" John Confirmed. He had almost apologized, then she had started laughing. Now it was personal, he WOULD have this piece of plastic junk do his bidding. Three hours later John had finally found a solution he was happy with and left the apartment with a grin on his face that would linger in the nightmares of the wino's for weeks. Gemma came home late from school and decided to have a quick peek how her uncle had fared with his new computer. To her great amazement the one thing she found on the desk was an apple that someone had taken a bite out of... and the smell of charred plastic hanging in the air... --