Title: The Emperor of Ice Cream Author: Pattyanne snapkik@yahoo.com Disclaimer: I only wrote the story Feedback: Oh, yeah! Summary: See part 1 (Quotation from "The Emperor of Ice Cream" by Wallace Stevens) Part Three..... "The coast is clear." Spike laughed as he finished buckling his belt. "All right, Secret Agent Girl." Buffy opened the door a crack more and peeked out a little further. No one in sight. She turned around in time to see her brand new lover gathering up the shopping bags, giving her a lovely view as he bent over. "Ready to risk it?" he asked, shaking her out of her internal monologue. "Let's go," she said, pulling the door open wide and turning back around. "Are you lost, Miss?" Buffy froze. Tilting her head back, she stared up...up...up, at the tallest, biggest security guard she'd ever seen any- where. He frowned, obviously preparing to grab her by the arm and haul her off to whatever jail cell they had at the mall. "Oh...I'm...yes! I'm lost. Umm...I thought this was..." she swallowed hard. "The, um....the ladies room?" Buffy, who had no trouble whatsoever dealing with demons, monsters, and vampires by the score, didn't do nearly as well with human authority figures. She still had nightmares about the cops chasing after her on the night Kendra had been killed. Spike had come to her rescue then, and he did no less for her now. Pulling the door completely open, he stepped up behind the slayer. The rent-a-cop opened his mouth to say something, but was struck dumb when Spike gave him a quick look at his alter ego. "Go away....now." His voice was soft and low pitched, but nobody could instill an unspoken threat quite the same way. The security guard backed up a few feet, blinking his eyes. By the time Buffy turned to look, Spike had already shed his demon visage. "Shall we?" he asked, his tone perfectly plea- sant. Taking Buffy's hand, he pulled her out of the gingerbread house and down the steps. When they turned a corner, she glanced back and was surprised to see they weren't being chased down. Hauling back on Spike's hand, she pulled him to a stop. "Did you scare him into letting us go?" she demanded. He grinned. "Maybe a little." She said nothing for a moment, then threw her arms around his neck. "You were right," she said happily. "I do love you." With one arm around her waist, he bent his head and kissed her long and hard. "Hey, you know what?" he asked, when she pulled back to breathe. "Let's go back and get some of that ice cream. One of those big barrels of it." "Are you hungry?" He shook his head, his eyes flashing with lust and humor. "No. I just want to take you home and lick it off every inch of your body." Buffy smiled. "Sounds good to me." ************************************************************* "Know what you have in common with a beer bottle, luv?" "Can't imagine." "You're both empty from the neck up....OW!" ************************************************************** They stood in the middle of the food court, both turning in a slow circle. "Okay, I give up," Spike finally said. "Where the hell's the ice cream shop?" Buffy pointed. "It was there....wasn't it?" He turned to follow her gaze, but the only thing he saw was a pizza stand. "No.." He turned in the other direction. "It was at the back...the very back." "Well, it's not there now," Buffy said. "You know what this means, don't you?" "What?" "The store was here...and now it's gone. Can you say demonic ice cream?" "What are you talking about?" She sighed. "Spike....it's so obvious. We ate the ice cream from the now invisible ice cream store. Remember...you didn't want any but that weird little man pushed it on you." "So?" He knew exactly where she was going with this, but he wasn't gonna help her get there. She was about to deny any res- ponsibility for what had happened between them, claiming it was all just a result of a demonic practical joke. "So?" she asked, her voice high pitched. "It was the ice cream that made us act that way. All hot and bothered...we couldn't even wait to get out of the mall. We screwed each other silly in Santa's house! And now....." "Now what?" he asked, preparing himself for the big kiss off. "The place is gone! Where are we gonna find more of that ice cream?" "Look, Buffy....you aren't trying to...." Her last sentence cut him off before he could get started denying her denials. "You...what did you say? You want more of it?" "Well, don't you?" she asked, hands on her hips. "I...you..." He shook his head. "Wait a second....more of what? The ice cream...or the sex?" She smiled. "Well....both. The sex was incredible." Inching closer, she slipped her arms around his waist. "And that was damn good ice cream." Spike felt relief washing over him. She wasn't going to say "Get lost" after all. "Don't worry, baby," he said, dropping a light kiss on her lips. "I'll find you some more of that ice cream. I've got a few connections in that area that can hook us up." "Oh, goody." After another long kiss, he said, "Let's go on home, luv. I think I've got some ice cream in the freezer that'll do us for now." As they turned to leave, Buffy spotted a piece of paper on the floor with some familiar writing at the top. She picked it up and saw the words The Emporer of Ice Cream written at the top. It looked like an advertising flyer, but the message was written by hand. "My dears....Terribly sorry for the little ruse, but I'm afraid you two were just taking too long to get on with things. You needed a bit of a push, which I and my associates were more than happy to provide. You see, we need you to be completely in sync with each other, at all times, in all ways. You have some very interesting adventures in store for you, but trust me when I say that you are being watched over and will emerge victorious. The ice cream did have, as the young lady deduced, a certain magical ingredient in it. However, it was not demonic in any way, and would not have worked if the feelings had not already been in your hearts. Take my word for it...we have been observing you two very closely. Best wishes to you both for a long and happy life together.... With warmest affection, The "Emporer" of Ice Cream. ~The End~