Title: To Love A Woman Author:Pattyanne snapkik@yahoo.com Disclaimer: All I own is nothing at all. Summary: Buffy and her friends spent an evening out. Spike shows up and teaches them a thing or two about dancing. Part Three.... Buffy stayed on the couch until the sound of the motorcycle faded to nothing. She'd had to consciously restrain herself from running after him and begging him to come back inside. Only the knowledge that she'd be opening a Pandora's Box stuffed to the brim with problems, kept her in the house. How could it be anything else? Physical attraction and desire were wonderful things, but they couldn't sustain a relation- ship forever. She needed something she could count on. Needed to have some small bit of control in at least one part of her life. Everything else was always so up in the air for her. Even life itself was a crap- shoot. Everytime she strapped on her slayer shoes and stakes, and stepped into any one of a dozen local graveyards, she rolled those particular dice. She had been lucky so far, but sooner or later, she would crap out and roll a big fat snake eyes. It was inevitable. Slayers don't die of old age, or lingering illnesses. Slayers go out young, usually in a spectacular amount of pain and blood. This was her destiny. She had fought against...railed against it...tried to run away from it for so long, but had finally come to terms with it. Family and friends, vine covered cottages with rose gardens growing in the sun- shine...those things were not for her. It was a small consolation that at least she wouldn't have to hang around and watch as everyone she knew played the game of Life without her, hitting all the traditional milestones...love, weddings, new jobs, first homes....babies. Buffy had always wanted to have a child someday. She'd made light of it when she'd talked with Angel about such things, but that was mostly to make him feel better about it. Playing house had been her favorite thing to do with her little friends as she grew from toddlerhood into childhood, and she had always played the part of Mommy. She'd loved taking care of her babies; dres- sing them, feeding them, singing them to sleep. When she had been very small, and ignorant of the realities of such things, she'd told her parents that she was going to have at least 10 babies of her own. They had laughed indulgently, and told her that she would certainly be a very busy Mommy if that happened. Her planted memories of Dawn as a baby were as strong as they'd ever been. She had a clear and firm recollection of going to visit Mommy in the hospital, and seeing her baby sister in the nursery with all the other newborns. She remembered the flowers she and her father had chosen from the gift shop; pink roses...her mother's favorite, and buying the Teddy Bear that played a scratchy version of Brahmms Lullaby. After bringing the baby home, she had followed her mother around morning, noon, and night, wanting to help feed her and change her and give her a bath, pretending that she was the mommy. As she'd grown up a little, she had scaled back her family plans to two children, with an option on a third one. It had seemed rea- sonable. Only after she had embarked on what was to be her only career choice, had she men- tally scuttled those plans, facing the fact that she would never be a mother to even one child let alone three. Between falling in love with vampires, and a dangerous occupation that could make her child half an orphan, she hadn't.... Buffy shot straight up on the sofa, her thoughts suddenly scattered apart like thrown jacks until they narrowed in on one particular item. "Oh, no," she muttered under her breath. "No, I didn't...I CAN'T..." < Can't I..?> She shook her head. "I am NOT in love with Spike. I'm not!" Sure, she'd wanted him. What breathing female with an ounce of common sense wouldn't? Spike was good looking, and sexy, and dan- gerous...all the things she wanted in a man. But tonight, he'd proved himself to be some- thing more. He had actually subjugated his feelings in order to defer to hers. She had led him on...hadn't MEANT to, but the results were the same, and he had still stopped when she'd needed him to. It had been a tremendous effort for him, she'd seen the strain on his face and the tension in his body language. But he had done it. She had dragged him to the heart stopping brink of sexual passion, and then made him break off. He'd not only done it, but he'd apologized to HER. As though he'd been the one slam- ming the door, instead of having it slammed on him. "Okay...maybe he's a better man than I've given him credit for being...but that doesn't mean I love him...." Her hands flew to her face. Fresh tears were trembling on her cheeks and her eyes were burning with more. Buffy got to her feet and went into the bath- room. Flicking on the overhead light, she got a look at herself in the mirror and almost screamed. Her carefully applied make-up was a melt- ing fright mask. Black smudges of mascara around red, swollen eyes made her look like a panda bear after a three day drunk. Her hair was a snarly jungle, with all the curl gone from it. She was a mess. She yanked off a length of toilet paper and wiped her eyes, then grabbed another one to blow her nose. Leaving the bathroom, she went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of iced tea. She sat down at the kitchen counter to drink it, and was almost finished when her eye was caught by the newspaper on the other side of the table. Dawn had opened it up that morning to read the comics while she ate breakfast. Buffy grabbed the paper and looked them over, wondering why Dawn found them so amusing. At the bottom of the page was the word jumble. Dawn was so good at those that she always did them in ink, unscrambling the letters to reveal the hidden message in less than two minutes. As Buffy read the message Dawn had decoded that morning, her heart turned over in her chest. "If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance." Her fingers touched her lips, as she began to smile. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy was re-doing her make up when she finally remembered where she'd heard the song she and Spike had danced to. In the living room, she dug out a plastic box with CDs that had belonged to her mother, kept around for sentimental reasons. It didn't take her long to find the sound- track she was hunting for. Putting it to one side, she ran upstairs and grabbed Dawn's CD player out of her room. She put fresh batteries in it and went back downstairs to make sure the CD was playable. The song she wanted was the first track on the disc, and she listened to it care- fully, the words having even more meaning now than they'd had before. The sound was perfect. She should have known, her mom had always been careful with her CDs, far more than she and Dawn had ever been. Setting the volume control where she wanted it, she placed the CD player by the door and finished fixing her face and hair. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Her nerve nearly deserted her at the door to his crypt. What if it was too late? What if he'd decided that she was just too high maintenance for him? What if he'd kept his promise and was already gone? She opened the door as quietly as she could, which wasn't as easy as she'd thought it would be. She'd come through this door like a cyclone in the past, and now she knew part of the reason why. The damn thing weighed a ton. You had to put a little muscle into it to get it open. Closing it was just as bad. Placing the CD player on top of the tomb, she saw faint lamplight coming from the lower level, and heard someone stirring around. Hoping like hell that it was the RIGHT some- one, she smoothed her hair and dress, then pushed PLAY. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spike poured another glass of scotch, and practically threw the alcohol down his throat. He was four glasses into his intended 'drinking to forget' plan, and he wasn't even slightly buzzed. Damn vampire tolerance levels screwed him over every time. With a heartfelt sigh, he rummaged around beneath the bed, looking for the duffle bag he'd shoved under it when he'd first come to live here. He wouldn't be taking much with him when he left. His clothes, a few personal effects, some jewelry that had belonged to his mother, most of which he hadn't looked at in years, but still held on to. A few pictures... He found the box in the bottom of the armoire. Hesitating, bracing himself for another shot of heartache, he opened it. There were three pictures in the box. One of Dawn and two of Buffy, they were pictures he'd sweet talked Dawn out of one night, payment for keeping his mouth shut about Dawn climbing out of her bedroom window when she'd been grounded by Warden Buffy for some- thing that he couldn't even remember now. His finger traced the features of Buffy's smiling face as he remembered the feel of her skin beneath his touch. The warmth, and softness and.... No. He couldn't take these with him. If he did...he'd never be able to stay away, and he had promised her that he would go and not come back. Replacing the lid of the box, he shoved it back into the drawer. He sat there, his resolve fading as he contemplated the thought of never seeing her again...even a photograph of her. His hand reached to open the drawer again..his fingers were almost touching it...when he heard a sound from the upper level. Music? Where the hell was that coming from. He didn't have a.... His expression became murderous. THAT song. The one they had danced to. Who was so fucking cruel that they thought this was funny? All his pent up emotions came roaring to the surface. They needed an outlet, and if he couldn't have the one he really wanted, he would take this one. Ready to break someone's neck, he climbed the ladder. When he saw who was waiting for him, his non beating heart nearly burst. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "To really love a woman, to under stand her You got to know her deep inside Hear every thought, See every dream And give her wings when she wants to fly..." More nervous than she could ever remember being before, Buffy held out one hand, praying that he wouldn't just turn his back on her. "Dance with me?" she asked softly. "Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms You know you really love a woman.." Without a word, not questioning why anything had changed, he crossed the room in three long strides and placed his hands around her waist, then lifted her completely off her feet and up into the air. Smiling with a happiness he'd never expected to feel again, he spun her around and around, until she was laugh- ing and holding on to his shoulders. "When you love a woman, you tell her that she's really wanted. When you love a woman, you tell her that she's the one... She needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever. So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?" Setting her back down on her feet, he stepped back a little and reached for her right hand. Bringing it to his lips, he left a soft kiss on the back, then turned it over and pressed a longer, more tender one into her palm. Buffy's eyes felt misty at the loving gesture, wondering where he had been hiding all this back when they'd first met. Before she could say anything, he took her other hand as well, and placed her arms around his neck, his eyes widening briefly when her fingers began to play with the hair at the nape. "To really love a woman Let her hold you Till you know how she needs to be touched You've got to breathe her Really taste her Till you can feel her in your blood.." Keeping his own hands on her waist, he began to move her to the rhythm of the song. They danced, just the way they had done before...as though they'd been doing it for a lifetime. Buffy's eyes drifted closed, and Spike slipped one hand up her back and into her honey colored mass of hair. Twining his fingers in it, he gently pulled, tilting her head back. "Open your eyes," he whispered, the first words he had spoken since he'd left her before. Her lashes lifted slowly, revealing the feelings she couldn't hide, or wish away. Spike met her gaze seriously. "Are you frightened?" "A little," she admitted. He swallowed hard. "Of me?" She shook her head. "Of losing you." If he'd had breath, those words would have stopped it. "That'll never happen, sweetness," he vowed passionately. "I swear it. Never." Her smile was tremulous. "Unless I chase you off." "Not even then," he said, pressing his lips against her forehead. "Buffy...there's no power on earth that can make leave you...if you want me to stay." Sliding her hands up his arms, she pressed them to his cheeks and looked up into his eyes. "Stay," she said firmly. Sliding one arm around her waist, he leaned her back over it, then lowered his head and pressed his lips against the lace that hid the soft hollow at the base of her throat. "You got to give her some faith Hold her tight A little tenderness Got to treat her right She will be there for you Taking good care of you.." "Spike..?" "What, baby?" He nuzzled her ear. "Let's go downstairs." "You really got to love your woman..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He led her down the ladder to the lower level, then scooped her up and carried her over to the bed. She let out a small squeak of sur- prise when her feet left the ground. Spike placed one knee on the bed, and placed her carefully on the mattress, as though she were a fine and delicate piece of crystal, fashioned by a master craftsman. Before he could move away, she slipped her arms around his neck and tugged him down until his lips found hers in a slow, hot, open-mouthed kiss. Their tongues played lazily in each others mouths, touching and tasting. Spike pulled back first, and rolled her over onto her stomach to unfasten the buttons of her dress once again. She giggled as he tickled the back of her neck, then nipped playfully with his teeth. Stretching out her arms beside her, she turned her head and lay on his pillow, enjoying the attentions he was paying her. His hands moved up her legs and under the skirt of her dress. She promptly rolled back over and smiled at him. "Don't bother looking," she said, "I was in too much of a hurry to put a garter belt and stockings back on." He grinned. "Why, Miss Summers," he said, his voice suitably scandalized. "Do you mean to tell me that you've been running around town without your knickers on?" She giggled and nodded her head. "Fraid so." "You're a very naughty girl," he said, growl- ing a little for her. "I love it." Pulling her sandals off, he tossed them across the room, then worked her out of her dress. When he had her completely naked, his mouth took a slow, leisurely trip down her throat, stopping to pay proper atten- tion to her breasts. Licking her damp skin, he nuzzled his face in the hollow between her breasts, then moved his mouth up the undercurve of one to it's hard nipple. Buffy gasped at the feel of his tongue as it drew wet circles around the tip of her breast. She arched her back, aching for a deeper touch. "Please," she begged. "Take it in your mouth...oh...oh, yes...harder. Feels so good..." She clenched her fingers in his silky hair, pressing him even closer as he suckled her, first gently, then harder..as she had requested. "Now...now the other.." she said, guiding his face to her opposite nipple. He took it in immediately, drawing on it so strongly that she felt it in her womb. At the same time, he used his fingers on the one he had been sucking, tugging it and pinching it gently, rubbing the moisture of his saliva into her skin. Rolling her over again, he lay beneath her as she propped herself on her forearms, freeing his hands to cup and fondle and squeeze both her breasts. "God, you're so beautiful," he said, molding her soft flesh like a sculptor, pushing the mounds together and swiping his tongue back and forth from one nipple to the other, pausing only to suck at them. "I could spend a lifetime here and never get enough." She moved back a little, teasing him by re- moving her breast from the reach of his mouth, then giving him just a small taste be- fore moving back again. He growled in his throat, a sound that caused an instant rush of hot fluid to seep from be- tween her legs. Spike caught the scent of it, and felt it damp- ening the front of his pants. Afraid that something else was going to dampen them even more, he turned her over again and sat up between her splayed thighs. He wanted to taste her so badly that he couldn't bear it, but he had to release the pressure of his trousers before it became painful. Climbing off the bed, he stood next to it and tugged his shirt off, sending it who knew where. As he did this, Buffy moved to unbuckle his belt and tug down the zipper of those confining leather pants he had on. Considering how tight they were, they slipped down with surprising ease. Her eyes became as wide as tea saucers when she saw the impressive erection jutting out from his thighs. Unable to resist, she reached out one hand and wrapped her fingers around his cock, sliding them up and down. "Ohh....FUCK...yes, baby...a little tighter.. that's my girl...yes..." She pumped her hand up and down the rigid shaft, lifting the drops of moisture that formed at the tip and rubbing them back into his skin. "Does that feel good?" she asked, knowing the answer perfectly well. "Oh, fuck...yes. Yes....don't stop...yeah.. squeeeze it...little more...more...I...no, stop...honey, stop now." "Why?" she inquired teasingly. "Because...if you don't," he explained just as teasingly, "you're gonna have a big mess on your hands." She released him then, ignoring the small whimper of protest he couldn't help uttering. Moving back into the center of the bed, she beckoned him with one finger, watching as he gripped his shaft firmly to control hold off ejaculating. "Is that for me," she asked, "or are you gonna play with yourself all night?" He grinned at her as he toed off his boots and kicked his pants away. "It's all for you, little girl. Every...last...inch." Reclining on the pillows, she held out her arms. "Come here, baby," she said sweetly. Forcing away the memory of what had happened the last time he'd done this, Spike again fell into her open arms. This time, though, she parted her legs for him and lifted her hips, rubbing her wet crotch against him. Capturing his face in her hands, she gave him several lingering kisses, sliding her tongue into his mouth and licking the slick enamel of his teeth. He moaned deep in his throat, then pulled back and blazed a trail down her body, leaving her skin moist and yearning. Pushing her thighs apart, he paused for a moment to take in her scent...a fragrance that made his head spin...and lowered him- self between them. Buffy's entire body jerked taut as a drawn wire at the feel of his tongue on her. He slid it up and down the outer fold of her sex, then plunged it in as deeply as he could, then found her clit and sucked it, drinking her in like vintage wine. Her head thrashed on the pillow as she moaned and sobbed and panted. The pleasure he was inflicting on her was almost unbearable, and could easily border on pain had he been less experienced. Not needing to breathe was a big bonus too... He raised his head and looked at her, loving the fact that he was the one who had brought her to such a state. And he knew exactly how to push her a little bit higher. "God, baby...you taste so sweet. Your little pussy is like cream..I could eat it all night." He slid one finger inside her. "So wet...and hot. You must like this." He smiled evilly. "Do you, baby? Do you like it when I lick you between your legs?" "Uh-huh," Buffy panted. "And when I suck your juicy little clit? Does it feel good when I do that?" "Yes," she gulped. "Very...very good." Pumping his finger in and out, he rubbed her sweet spot with his thumb. "What about when I tongue fuck you? When I slide my tongue in as deeply as I can..move it in and out..harder and faster..." "Oh, GOD!!!" Buffy screamed the words, and dug her nails into the mattress, her hips convulsing as her body touched the stars. Without another word, Spike moved up in the bed and positioned himself. Rubbing the head of his cock against her labia, he slid it in a little, then pulled back. His thrusts were shallow and slow, as he entered her a bit at a time. Buffy was moaning and keening in his ear, ratcheting his lust even higher. When he was completely sheathed in her warm, tight center, he began to thrust rhythmically, using his hips to nudge her thighs even farther apart. She raised her legs suddenly, winding them around his back, which allowed him even deeper penetration. Neither of them were quiet about it, and could probably be heard by most of the local residents of his particular neighborhood. Fortunately, the dead don't mind the noise. Pounding into her harder and faster, he grunted every time his pelvis slammed into hers. Sometimes he would stop and move his hips from side to side, striking whole new pleasure points inside her. "Ohhh...ohhh...Spike...yes," she whined and whimpered. "More...more...harder...baby, harder...come on...do it...do it now...I'm so close...baby, I'm so close....." He redoubled his efforts, giving her everything he had to give. "You're so good," she crooned in his ear, stoking the fires of his ego at the same time she did his body. "It's never been like this...never...you, baby...it's you...you're my man...my beautiful wild boy..." "Buffy...Buffy...are you...mine? My...girl? Say.. say you are...uhh...uhh...say it...please...." Placing her lips to his ear, she whispered with heated breath..."I'm all yours..all of me..all for you...just you...oh, faster...go faster...I'm so...make me come," she pleaded shamelessly. "Make me come...Spike...ahhh..." "I'll make you come," he choked out. "Make you see stars...come so hard...do it for me, babe...do it for your man..." Five more ramming thrusts were all they needed. They came together, screaming in the perfect bliss of mutual orgasm. Buffy lifted her hips and clamped her internal muscles around his shaft, milking it for all the juice he had to give her. She could feel it spewing into her, his cock jerking as it emptied every drop of semen. Spike pushed his pelvis down hard, grinding it against hers in the delicious friction that made his lover's body vibrate and hum. He felt the wetness gushing from her, making everything slick and hot. When it was over, when it began to ease away from them, they looked into each others eyes....and both found just exactly what they'd wanted so much to see. It was love...and it was good...and it would last forever. "Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms You know you really love a woman..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Spike?" "Hmm?" "Remember when you came into the Bronze earlier?" "Yeah..." "You said you were waiting for someone." Buffy frowned, not pleased with the idea at all. "Just who were you waiting for?" He propped his head on one hand and looked down at her cross little face. "Oh, Buffy," he said tenderly. "Don't you know...I was waiting for you, baby." Leaning down then, he kissed her until she smiled..... The End. (So, be honest. I can take it.) ~Have You Ever Loved A Woman~ Written by B. Adams, M Kamen, and RJ Lange, for the Motion Picture 'Don Juan de Marco'