Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Angel/Spike or more properly Angelus/William
Somewhat AU with some elements of cannon altered to suit my needs. Meaning William begins life within this story as a human. Who can say if that will change?
Graphic sex, violence
Disclaimer: These characters are NOT mine. I'm only borrowing them. All BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon, ME, UPN, WB etc.etc.etc.
Poems found in this work are not my own. The poem read by William is entitled 'Because I could not stop for Death' and was authored by Emily Dickinson. The title of this story was derived from that poem. The poem read by the bully in the Bronze is called 'A valentine to my wife' and it was authored by Eugene Field. I have made some slight changes to the second poem to fit the needs of the story.
Other Points of Interests: Buffy still works for the council. Angelus has never been souled and the initiative is still functioning in Sunnydale.

Chapter Eleven:

William stirred beneath the silken sheets, his lean body stretching languidly as he felt his muscles come to life. His eyes fluttered open, adjusting quickly to the dim light in the room as he rolled onto his side, feeling the sheets slide softly over his naked flesh. He lay there for a moment , not wanting to move, as he watched the flickering flame of a small oil lamp dancing upon its wick. For the first time in as long as he could remember he felt completely content.

He would not have moved but for the shadows cast by the oil lamp whispering across the walls drawing his attention to the unfamiliar surroundings. A small frown creased his lips as he sat up, glancing around the room, uncertain how he had come to be there. His memories were fragmented and murky and the last thing he remembered was being in the garden with Angelus.

A broad smile spread across his face as thoughts of the other man filled his mind and he fell back against the soft pillows, closing his eyes as the memories washed over him. Cool hands caressing his skin as still cooler lips kissed their way down his body. He could almost feel strong arms holding him, enfolding him in their embrace as he was taken.

He breathed in deeply at this thought, the scent of jasmine filling his lungs, then opened his eyes, the scent from the pillow he lay against making him hard. He could smell Angelus all around him now. The thought that he was in Angelus' bed made his smile broaden but he didn't understand why the other man had left him there alone. Why was he waking up by himself?

Sitting up once more he pushed the sheets aside, thoughtless of his nakedness, and set his feet on the soft rug below them. He ran a nervous hand through his disheveled hair, his thoughts racing now.

Had he done something wrong, he wondered? Had Angelus regretted what had happened between them?

Rising from the bed he looked about, searching for his clothes. He spied them folded neatly on a chair near the door and went to retrieve them. He didn't want to think that it had all been some awful mistake. His whole life he only wanted someone to love...to love him, and he had started to believe he had found that someone in Angelus.

He had given himself to the other man in a way he had never even imagined. He couldn't believe that Angelus hadn't meant the things he had said to him. He couldn't have been deceived by him, could he? He wondered, his feelings of contentment falling away.

Taking another deep breath he tried to calm his fears but his own insecurities and self doubts clouded his thoughts.

Donning his clothes quickly he sat down in the chair and slipped on the shoes he found beside it. Then resting his head against the wall he covered his face with his hands as tears welled in his eyes.

What if it had been a lie? What if it had been about sex and nothing more?

Nolan screamed, the pain in his body too great to bear in silence. Electricity shot through him again and again as every muscle flexed, threatening to rip loose from the bone. He tried desperately to absorb the pain, to let it wash over him, but it was useless. He had been locked in a room with a mad woman and she was enjoying her work.

The setting on the taser was low enough so he wouldn't pass out but strong enough to hurt like hell and after two hours of it he was near to his breaking point. He tried to block out the pain using every technique he'd been trained in, but there was only so much a human being could take.

Swallowing hard he listened for a question but true to her word Maggie Walsh asked him nothing. He wanted to tell her though, to give up all his secrets and make the pain stop, but he wasn't entirely sure she would stop even if he did.

Another wave of electricity ran through him as his body thrust upward off the gurney, the muscles going into spasms. His teeth ground together as he tried to suppress the screams tearing at his throat but in the end he could do nothing but give in to the pain.

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Giles arrived at the apartment complex and made his way inside, entering the elevator a moment later. Thinking about what to say to William as the lift ascended he discarded each speech in turn, afraid he'd put the boy off if he lectured him too sternly. By the time the elevator stopped he had decided the best course of action was to honestly express his concerns over the boy's behavior and hope that William had enough sense to do the right thing.

He made his way down the hall until he came to Anne and William's apartment then raised a hand to knock, hoping they were home. His gentle rap pushed the door open and he frowned, his eyes narrowing as a sudden unease settled over him.

"Anne...William?" He called nervously as he took a step into the apartment. There was no reply and he moved forward, cautiously imagining all the awful things that could happen to a person on the Hellmouth. He didn't have to imagine for long.

The smell of blood hit him like a wave filling his lungs as he gasped at the sight of Anne's lifeless form lying on the living room floor. His stomach lurching in protest at the carnage his eyes were seeing as he scanned the blood stained walls and furniture. He covered his mouth as he swallowed the bile trying to force its way upward then, turning, he moved past her body, making his way toward the other rooms in search of William. He found no sign of the boy and sighed in relief, then turned back to Anne.

Closing his eyes as a sudden wave of guilt swept over him, he couldn't help feeling it was his fault. He knew the Hellmouth wasn't safe and yet he had welcomed them with open arms, not once being truly honest about the dangers they might face, and this had been the result, he told himself.

Standing motionless for a moment longer he took a shuddering breath as he tried to get his emotions under control. He shook his head, trying not to think too much about what he hadn't done, and instead tried to focus on what he still had yet to do.

It was clear to him that Anne's death was the work of demons but he couldn't tell if it had been a vampire or not as her throat along with the rest of her body was completely torn to shreds. He resigned himself to the fact that he would have to take the necessary steps to ensure she didn't rise although from the condition of her body that possibility was doubtful. He would also have to find William to tell him what had happened. He had been ill prepared to lecture the boy on skipping class, he thought ruefully -- he was even less prepared for this.

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William headed down the stairs, entering the kitchen, his footfalls the only sound in the otherwise silent house. The room was dark but for the light from the full moon streaming in through the windows. He used it to navigate around the large table in the center of the room then, opening the doors to the dining room, he stood staring at the sight which greeted him.

The table sat before him immaculate, its surface gleaming. There was no sign of the meal he had shared with Angelus; even the flowers resting atop it were freshly cut. He frowned at this, a knot forming in his stomach, then he turned quickly and made his way toward the door leading to the other hallway.

His stomach twisted as he approached the studio, his footsteps quickening as a disturbing thought fueled his panic. William tried to keep it at bay but it was no use. Bursting through the door he raced to the canvas setting upon the easel just a few feet away then stood staring at its empty surface.

He dropped the canvas to the floor and rushed to the opposite wall, leafing quickly through the paintings that leaned against it, moving frantically as he searched for any sign of the portrait Angelus had painted of him, but to no avail. Tears stung his eyes once more and he ran a shaking hand through his unkempt hair, his frustration making him want to scream.

Then looking about the room for some other sign that he was not going mad he saw for the first time that the chaise was pushed back against the wall where he had first seen it. The candles which had illuminated the space were now not only cold and lifeless but showed no signs of use.

"That's not possible." He whispered aloud as his disturbing thought took root. Could it all have been a dream, he wondered? Shaking his head he tried to dismiss the thought but his memories were so confused he didn't know what to believe. Had his head injury brought on some fevered imaginings while he'd slept?

"No. I just need to find Angelus." He said aloud, trying to convince himself. There was an explanation for this and, once he found the other man, everything would be alright again, he thought as he stumbled out into the hall.

A sudden movement in the shadows caught his eye and he turned toward it, seeing the clear outline of a man in the darkness.

"Angelus?" He asked, taking a step forward a feeling of relief washing over him.

"Such a pretty new toy."

The unfamiliar voice made him stop in his tracks and he took a step back, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.

"Who are you?" He asked, finally gaining his voice.

Laughter echoed in the hallway and he backed up once more but he knew he had nowhere to go. The hall ended abruptly ten feet behind him and if he was to get away he would have to get past the man standing in front of him.

"Who are you?" He asked again, trying not to sound afraid as he looked about for something to use as a weapon. He spied a pewter candlestick on a small table to his left and he reached out grasping it tightly in his hand.

The other man moved from the shadows a second later, his face finally visible, and William gasped as he was reminded of the things that had attacked him in the cemetery.

"Oh, don't be frightened -- I only want to play." The vampire said as he lunged forward, his fangs bared. William swung the candlestick at his gapping jaw, hitting him soundly with more strength than he knew he possessed. The blow knocked the vampire against the opposite wall and William didn't stop to see if he got up. He raced down the hall back toward the kitchen, fumbling with the lock before making it outside.

William raced from the house, not once looking back, his mind swirling with unanswered questions and fears he didn't know how to voice. He didn't understand what was happening.

Stumbling on he ran through the night, uncertain where he was going or what he should do. His one consuming thought was to find Angelus but he didn't know where to look. He needed answers not only to what that creature was but to everything that had happened since he had awoken in that house.

He was convinced that what he remembered had indeed been real. He refused to believe that he had imagined making love to the other man, but he did worry that he had imagined Angelus' feelings for him. What if he had been wrong and it had only been a tryst?

Stopping at an intersection, he glanced about the street not knowing which way to turn. The street was quite deserted and he suddenly felt very alone. Raking his fingers through his hair he sighed heavily, knowing he needed to talk to someone about all of this, but the one person he wanted to talk to wasn't there.

Then, looking up at the street sign, he smiled realizing where he was. He knew his mother would have a difficult enough time dealing with his new found sexuality; he could not subject her to his tales of near death at the hands of fiends as well. Giles on the other hand might be better suited to discuss both thoughts and his flat was only two blocks away.

Nolan Grey's body hung limply between two soldiers as they dragged him down the hall toward the cell he had awoken in earlier. His head sagged against his chest as he feigned unconsciousness, his mind racing as he tried to think of some way to escape. Fortunately the answer to his dilemma was provided for him a moment later.

The sound of an alarm ringing through the corridors was music to his ears as the soldiers unceremoniously dropped him to the floor. He lay there unmoving as the sounds of fighting erupted around him and he looked up able to make out the vague shapes of three demons as they struggled against their captors. He knew this would likely be the only chance he had to escape and he had to take advantage of it.

Two more soldiers rounded the corner as one of the others went down. They reached for their taser guns, only to have them knocked from their grip. Nolan watched as one of the demons bit into a soldier's throat then tossed his lifeless body to the ground beside him.

He stared at the mans face for a moment, all his training telling him he should be trying to help the humans, but it was every man for itself.

Something white caught his eye and he reached over, taking the key card from the soldier's pocket. He clutched it in his hand like a life line then forced himself to rise. Every muscle in his body ached and he could barely see. He was pretty sure he had broken ribs and he was having trouble breathing. It would be a miracle if he made past his own cell, let alone out of the building, but he knew he had to try.

Using the wall to support himself he made it to his feet then glanced at the battle being waged around him. The soldiers were being pushed back down the hall and were oblivious to him -- as it seemed were the demons.

"It's now or never."

Mustering all the strength he had he made his way down the hall, slipped the key card into the locking mechanism, and headed toward freedom.

Buffy walked through the trees on the outskirts of campus as she finished the last of her patrol. It had been a quiet night like most of them lately and she was feeling a definite restlessness because of that. She didn't know why the demon population was making itself scarce but she suspected the commandos had something to do with it.

She really didn't mind the fact that there were fewer demons to deal with but the commandos made her very uncomfortable. Something in her gut told her they weren't to be trusted... at least, Riley had proved that well enough, she thought.

With a deep sigh she tried not to think of all the things she had liked about him and remember that he had lied to her.

"I don't need him." She said aloud as she headed toward the science building and suddenly found herself sprawled on the ground as someone barreled into the back of her.

The sound of voices reached her ears a second later as she tried to extricate herself from the man laying on the ground half on top of her. He was struggling to rise as an angry comment sprang to her lips but it was cut short when she got a good look at him.

"Are you alright?" She asked as they both got to their feet and she noted his swollen eyes and lips as well as the bruises that covered his chest and arms. He didn't have time to answer as a shout from the trees made him start.

"Bollocks! Run!" He shouted as he headed off toward the center of the campus. He didn't get far as two soldiers appeared around the corner of the nearest building blocking his exit. One struck him in the face with the butt of his taser rifle knocking him to the ground and Buffy didn't hesitate to act.

She launched herself at the man as he aimed the weapon at the injured stranger and she pulled the gun from his hands, then knocked him into the brick wall he stood beside. The other soldier advanced but she turned the gun on him and fired, watching as the current of electricity brought him to his knees.

Nolan struggled to stand but his strength was finally exhausted. Buffy pulled him up, trying to help, but three more commandos ran from the trees toward them and she turned, letting go of him as she headed into the fray.

She made quick work of them, knocking two out the old fashioned way, then using the taser on the last.

"And here I thought it was going to be a slow night." She smiled as she tossed the gun to the ground and turned toward the injured man.

A sudden pain shot through her as she reached Nolan, electricity flowing through her body making her skin scream. The force of the hit spun her around as another struck her from the front and she stumbled as she stared as Riley stepped from the shelter of the trees. He fired one last time, scowling at the slayer as she fell to the ground unconscious.

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William sat on a small stone bench outside Giles' apartment, waiting for the other man to return. He had arrived twenty minutes earlier and, after some rather persistent knocking, had decided his father's old friend was not at home. Not sure what else to do, he had chosen to wait.

It had given him some time to think about what had happened to him over the course of the last few days. Although he felt he was no closer to the truth about the creatures he'd encountered, he did feel quite certain that he knew the truth about Angelus.

He knew he was young and completely without previous experience but he was certain that he had not been mistaken in how much the other man had wanted him.

A loud rumble from his stomach interrupted his thoughts and he placed a hand against it, wishing Giles would hurry. His hunger had been growing steadily since he had awoken and he just wanted to get the conversation over with so he could find Angelus and get a bite to eat.

The sound of footsteps drew his attention toward the stairs and he spotted Giles a second later as if his thoughts had conjured the older man. Rising from the bench he stepped forward as Giles looked up.

"William." He said, shock and relief at seeing the boy evident on his face. "I've been looking for you."

"You have?" The young man answered, surprised by the remark.

"Yes...I have some news."

William noted Giles' downcast expression and instantly became concerned. He moved closer as the other man reached his door and fumbled with his key, clearly nervous.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, suddenly frightened. Giles turned to him, a frown upon his face, then opened the front door.

"Please come in. I have something rather urgent to talk to you about and I don't want to do this in the courtyard." He said, stepping aside to allow William to enter. The young man hesitated for only a moment then stepped across the threshold as Giles followed him inside.