I AM YOURS 
By: PetiteMiel 
 

Chapter Twenty
 

Lorne's eyes fluttered open as he lay with his head in Fred's lap. He looked up at her smiling but worried face and tried to smile back, but the effort was too much for him. 

"Are you alright?" She asked as he tried to sit up. 

"Easy Lorne, take it slow." Angel said, reaching out a hand to help the Anagogic demon off the floor. "Fred, could you get him a drink of water?" 

"Sure." 

"I think I'm going to need something stronger than that, Kitten." Lorne called to her as she started toward the kitchen. She stopped where she was, looking at Angel, who nodded toward the small table that sat beside the wall to her right. Fred glanced at the set of crystal decanters on the table, then made her way over to them. Unstopping one of them containing an amber colored liquid, she got a whiff of what she was certain was whiskey. She quickly poured Lorne a drink and returned to the green skinned demon, handing him the glass. 

He drank it down in one swallow, then set it on the table beside the leather chair Angel had helped him into.

"Are you ok?" Angel asked, concern for his friend evident in his quiet tone. Lorne looked up at him, then at Fred, but his eyes avoided Spike all together as he got himself under control. The images he had seen had shaken him, and that wasn't something that happened often. Taking a slow steadying breath, he finally answered. 

"I'm fine, Angel cakes, just had a bit of an overload that's all." He said, making light of the incident. 

"Sorry, mate, I guess I should have sung a different song. That one always gets me in trouble." Spike apologized as he stood nibbling his bottom lip. Angel turned toward him, placing a reassuring hand on his forearm.

"It wasn't your fault." He said quietly. Lorne looked up at this, then quickly looked at Spike. He sighed heavily, glad that there were no residual images lingering in his aura. 

"He's right -- it wasn't your fault." All eyes turned toward Lorne and he smiled up at them, then leaned back in the chair, his head pounding. "I just got knocked off my feet. It happens sometimes." He lied, not wanting Spike to feel bad and not wanting them to make a big deal out it. 

"See, not your fault." Angel reiterated as his hand slipped unconsciously into Spike's. He squeezed it gently as he smiled at his childe before turning back to Lorne. "So I'm guessing you saw something, right?" He asked, smiling weakly. Lorne nodded, and Angel and Spike sat back down on the couch, their hands still clasped as Fred returned to her seat as well.

"I'm guessing it wasn't good." Angel said, the tension in his voice palpable. 

"There's no good or bad to it." Lorne said, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to work out the ache that was suddenly forming there.

"So what did you see then?" 

"Death..." Angel started to speak but he held up a hand to stop him. "...and Life. I saw destruction and chaos, whole worlds blown apart. Everything plunged into darkness -- but I also saw things I'm not sure I can describe. There were beings like nothing I'd ever laid eyes on before. They were full of light, as if there wasn't really anything physical to them, just the raw essence of what they were. There were hundreds of them and they were full of life and hope. There were also a couple of humans whose images were very strong, a young girl and an old woman. All of them are connected to what Spike's got inside him."

"And what exactly is that, Lorne?" Angel asked warily.

"It's power, a massive amount of power." Lorne explained as he looked up at them.

"The power of the amulet?" Fred asked, anxious to know if she had been right. 

"Probably -- it sure seemed strong enough to close a hell mouth. Hell, he's got enough juice in there to light up the whole eastern seaboard." 

Spike tensed at the comment and Angel squeezed his hand again. "So how do we get it out of me?" 

"I don't know if we can. It's sort of weaved through you, merged with your body. I don't know if there is a way to separate it from you without..."

"Without killing me." Spike replied, cutting Lorne off. The Anagogic demon just nodded his head. 

Dawn sat on her bed, staring at her hands where they rested in her lap as the others looked on. They had managed to get the distraught girl back to her room without too much notice and she had calmed considerably once they were inside. 

"Dawn, do you remember what happened to you?" Buffy asked as she sat down beside her. 

"What do you mean?" The tall brunette replied softly, without looking up. 

"Do you remember finding a book?" She asked as she gently pushed Dawn's hair back behind her shoulder. 

"No." Dawn said, still studying her hands.

"What about some tunnels under the castle? Do you remember being in those tunnels?" 

"No." 

Buffy looked up at her friends. They stared back at her, concern clearly visible on their faces then Willow spoke. 

"Dawn, what's the last thing you do remember?" 

"I remember telling Buffy goodnight and going to sleep." 

"That was the night before last. You don't remember anything else?" 

"No." She answered.

"What about a small room with a bunch of books and scrolls in it -- Do you remember anything like that?" The witch tried again. 

"No, I told you -- I don't remember. I don't know what you're talking about." Dawn answered angrily.

"Ok, it's alright. It's not that important right now." Buffy said. "How about if you just tell me why you were so upset earlier... Can you do that?" Buffy asked, her hand resting lightly on dawn's back trying to reassure herself that her sister was there and alright. 

"I'm...I'm not sure. I just suddenly felt sad, that's all. I don't know. Why are you asking me all these questions?" Dawn answered, still not looking her sister in the face. Buffy stood up, pacing across the room.

"I'm just trying to find out what happened. I just want to be sure you're Ok."

"I'm fine." The teen-ager replied quietly.

The sound of the door hinges squeaking made them all turn just as Giles entered the room. He stopped, staring at Dawn and wondering why she wasn't still catatonic, then he smiled at the young girl who had finally looked up at his approach. 

"Buffy, what's happened?" He asked, studying Dawn intently. 

"You know, I bet everybody's hungry. How about if you guys take Dawn downstairs and get something to eat and we'll catch up in a minute? I want to talk to Giles about that fax." The slayer said, looking at Willow and Xander. 

"Sure, I could eat. Come on, Dawnie." Xander said as he opened the door. Willow stepped out into the hall as Xander waited for the teen-ager to follow. She rose from the bed and started toward the door, then looked over her shoulder at her sister. 

"I'll be there soon. Go ahead." Buffy said. Dawn turned back to the door and walked through it. 

"Buffy, what happened? When did Dawn come out of..."

"This morning." She answered, cutting him off. "I woke up and she was gone. We spent hours looking for her. Then we found her on that bridge on the other side of the road. She says she doesn't remember anything about a room, the book, or anything else that's gone on the last two days." 

"I see. That's unfortunate. I had hoped she would be able to shed some light on the situation... but don't worry, I'm sure we'll figure it all out." 

"That's not what's worrying me, Giles."

"No, then what?" He asked, watching her cross the floor and stare after the others as they made their way down the hall. 

"What worries me is that Dawn is lying." 

"Well, right. Who's hungry then?" Spike said, pulling his hand out of Angel's as he rose from the couch as if the previous conversation hadn't happened. He padded across the floor toward the kitchen and disappeared from view a second later.

Angel stared after him then rose, excusing himself and followed after his childe. Spike stood leaning against the counter, his back to the door. His head was slightly bowed and his shoulder were hunched, his tension visible in his posture. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the turmoil that rolled through him. He wasn't sure why breathing always seemed to help -- but it did, so he did it several more times, trying not to think about the possibility that Lorne was right.

"Are you alright?" Angel asked as he walked up behind his childe, slipping his arms around the blonde's waist, pulling him against his larger frame. Spike allowed himself to be held -- but only for a moment, then he pulled away. 

"I'm fine, luv. Just a bit hungry is all." He answered as he opened the door to the cabinet, reaching for a couple of mugs. 

"Spike." 

The blonde turned, setting the mugs down as he regarded his sire.

"Look, I know you came in here to make me feel better and all, but there's no need. I'm fine, luv. It's half what I expected anyway. It's just the kind of luck I have." He smiled slightly, trying to appear unconcerned. 

"Spike, we'll figure something out." Angel said as he took a step closer. 

"Angel, you heard him."

"I know what Lorne said, but there has to be a way. Maybe Wes can come up with a spell or something. Maybe he..."

"The mojo's what got me in this mess to begin with. Damn magical amulet. Let's face it, Angel, this thing was meant to kill me and it probably will eventually. That is, if it doesn't kill you first." Spike said, cutting him off before he could finish. He turned, opening the refrigerator, and filled the mugs with blood, then placed them both in the microwave to heat. 

The dark haired demon took another step closer, running his hands lightly up his childe's arms as they hung loosely at his sides. He turned him slowly toward him and leaned in, kissing Spike's lips softly, then smiled at him. 

"It's not going to kill me or you. Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Well, you don't, Angel. This thing in me, this power, it's like a fucking time bomb just waiting to go off. Who knows what it will do next? It killed that demon in the alley and we don't know what set it off, not really. Who's to say it won't do the same to you? Or maybe next time I'll just disappear all together, and not come back." 

"That's not going to happen." 

"You don't know that. You keep saying that, but we don't know what it might do, and you know it." He shouted as his eyes brimmed with tears. "It's not fair, Angel. I don't want to lose you, to lose this. I just got you back. It's not fucking fair!"

Angel stared at him, watching as he took several deep breaths trying to get his emotions under control. 

"I can take a lot, luv. Being crippled, being chipped, being souled. Hell, I even took get dusted in that damn cave -- but the one thing I can't take is getting a second chance with you and then having it pulled out from under me. I can't take losing you again." 

Angel wrapped his arms around the smaller vampire, trying his best to reassure him. He could smell his fear and the tension in his body made every muscle tight. 

"You are not going to lose me and I'm not losing you. You're mine, Spike, and I keep what's mine." Spike started to protest, but Angel didn't give him the chance. He pulled back, looking into his childe's sad eyes.

"Listen to me. I believe there's a reason you were brought back. There has to be. Maybe it's like Fred said the other day -- there's more to do, something not finished. I think that this power is there to protect you just like it did the other night in that alley. It kept you safe, Spike, and anything that does that is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. I don't believe it was put inside you to hurt you -- or me for that matter. You've got to try to believe that too." 

Spike looked up at him, wiping at the tears that now streaked his handsome face. 

"I can't, Angel." 

"Why not?" 

"I'm just not that lucky, luv." He answered seriously. Angel paused for a moment then lifted his childe's chin and smiled at him softly.

"You got me back, didn't you? I'd say your luck is changing for the better every day." Spike stared at him for a moment then laughed lightly as he reached out, pulling Angel toward him. He slipped his arms around him, holding him tightly, not wanting to let go. 

Buffy closed the door and turned around, facing her watcher. She walked across the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, and a moment later he joined her. 

"Buffy, are you certain?" Giles asked quietly. The blonde slayer turned toward him, her face solemn. 

"Yes. She's lying to me. I just don't understand why, Giles. Why wouldn't she tell me the truth?"

"Perhaps she's simply afraid."

"Of me?" Buffy asked.

"No, of course not... but perhaps she's afraid of what you'll do if she tells you the truth. You do have a tendency to act somewhat impulsively when those you love are in danger." Giles said, smiling at her. 

"I do not. I always have a plan before I..." She gave up, trying to convince him, realizing he was right. "Ok, so maybe there have been a few times I didn't work out all the details ahead of time -- but the results are always good." 

"Oh yes, you dying to save her from Glory was just the way she wanted that day to end." He said sarcastically. Buffy frowned and then looked down at her hands where they lay in her lap. She sighed deeply, knowing all too well that that decision had cost not only her but all of them far more than she would ever fully realize. 

"So you think that maybe she's afraid something bad will happen if she tells me the truth?"

"I think that is a very real possibility." 

"So what do I do about it? How do I convince her to tell me if she thinks she's protecting us from something by keeping quiet?" 

"I don't honestly know." 

"Well, that's a big help." She said, looking at him disappointedly.

"Well, I'm sorry, but she's a teenage girl, not exactly my area of expertise. Now, if she were a Hargaminie Demon, I might be able to help you." He replied, only half serious.

"I seem to remember you getting the truth out me on several occasions when I didn't want to give it." Buffy said, smiling at him.

"Yes, well... as your watcher I held a certain amount of sway over you. Unfortunately, that does not extend to your little sister."

"Yeah, and it's not like I can threaten to take her TV privileges away cause, hey... no TV here." Buffy replied as she rose from the bed.

"May I make a suggestion then?" 

"I'm all ears."

"Try talking to her again. Just be honest with her."

"Oh yeah, cause that always works so well with Dawn." 

"Buffy, you have to try." 

"I know, it's just..." She paused, sighing deeply. "There's something else, Giles." 

"What is it?" He asked as he rose from his seat on the bed. 

"Ever since we got here, I've been uneasy. I feel like something bad is coming, I can feel it in my bones and maybe this thing with Dawn is just the tip of the iceberg." The Englishman studied her face for a moment, then walked to the door, opening it for her. 

"If there is something coming, then it's doubly important that we get the truth from Dawn." 

Buffy nodded and stepped out into the hall, Giles close behind. The expression on her face was one of determination and her shoulders were stiff with her resolve. She knew that this wasn't going to be easy. Dawn could be stubborn, but it had to be done. Buffy had faced many difficult and painful things in her short life. She had fought demons, vampires and hell gods -- but walking down that corridor she knew they were nothing compared to the fight that was coming and, if she were going to have any chance of winning that fight, then she needed to win this fight with Dawn first.

The two vampires stood at the counter finishing the last of the blood from their mugs. Angel reached out, taking Spike's from his hand and turned, washing them both in the sink. He dried them quickly, then placed them both back in the cabinet.

"You feel better now?" Angel asked as he turned toward his silent childe.

"Yeah, luv, don't mind me. Just a spot of nerves, that's all. I always get that way when I'm hungry -- and, since you interrupted my breakfast this morning..." He didn't finish but turned toward the older vampire, smiling softly as he pressed himself against him. 

"You didn't seem to mind." The dark haired demon replied as he kissed him quickly, his arms wrapping around him as he did.

"Yeah, well... I was hungry for something else then." Angel laughed softly at the blond's response, glad to see that Spike's mood was improving; then he jumped slightly at the cough that came from the kitchen doorway. 

"Uh...excuse me, Angel?" Fred said meekly. Spike started to pull away but Angel held him firm as he looked over at Fred. She stood there, her eyes looking everywhere but at the two of them as she tried not to smile, and Angel had the sneaking suspicion that she wasn't all that surprised by the scene she had walked in on. He would definitely have to talk to Fred later.

"What is it, Fred?"

"Wesley and Gunn are here. Wesley thinks he may have found something important." She answered, looking up at the both of them. 

They stared back at her and she smiled as she turned and headed out of the kitchen. Spike gave Angel a quick kiss, then extricated himself from the older vampire's embrace. 

"What was that for?" Angel asked as he straightened.

"For not feeling like you had to hide it." Spike answered as he turned and strode after Fred, Angel close behind him.

Wesley and Gunn stood with the others, talking quietly as the two vampires approached.

"Angel, Spike." The ex-watcher said as they made their way toward them. 

"Fred says you found something." Angel commented as he stood in the entryway, staring at the Englishman. 

"Yes actually, I believe I have. May we..." He said, trailing off as he glanced toward the living room. Angel nodded and they all made themselves comfortable. 

"So what is it then? Got this whole thing figured out, have you?" Spike asked as he took a seat next to his sire. 

"Well, perhaps not all of it, but I think I may have made a start." Wesley replied, setting the fax from Giles on the coffee table in front of him. 

"We found out something too. Lorne's pretty sure it is the power of the amulet that's inside Spike." Fred said excitedly. 

"I see. Well, at least we now know what we're dealing with."

"So what did you find?" The petite brunette asked, smiling.

"Well, I -- or I should say we..." He corrected, looking at Gunn. "...have been studying these symbols, and they all appear to represent different texts. Some have been lost for centuries and others I can't be sure ever existed. I'd heard rumors of them at the Watcher's Academy but, as far as they were concerned, they were just legends and folk tales. I'm beginning to believe that that wasn't accurate, though." 

Angel picked up the fax and examined the symbols he saw there as Wesley continued. 

"One of the symbols represents something called the book of the Maker Witch."

"Oh, I found something about the book of the maker this morning." Fred interjected quickly. 

"Yes, we found your notes. I believe they are the same thing. In the prophecies we've uncovered so far, there have been several mentions of this being called the Maker, and we know that this being is in some way related to the amulet and the tasks involving the champion that is supposed to wield it. I think Fred's theory that there is something left for the amulet to do -- or, more precisely, the champion to do with the aid of the amulet -- may be correct. If I'm right, then we may be able to use these other texts to get the full prophecy instead of just pieces of it. If we can get that information, then we'll know what still needs to be done. Perhaps when the task is complete, the power that resides in Spike will become inert. In any case, it seems clear that this Maker is connected to the amulet, the scythe, this book of the Maker Witch -- and, of course, Dawn's situation." 

"Dawn... What situation? What are you talking about?" Spike asked, a sudden fear gripping him.

"Oh, I'm sorry -- I thought you knew." He answered, then turned toward Fred. "You didn't tell them?" 

"No...I thought you'd want to." She answered apologetically.

"I don't care who tells me, but someone better tell me what happened to Nibblet before I get really pissed off." The blond demon said rising from the couch. 

"Yes, of course. Giles telephoned this morning. It seems that Dawn is...ah...somewhat catatonic." Wes replied quietly.

"What? What happened to her?" 

"They're really not sure. That's why he sent me these symbols. They found them on a book that they believe Dawn had contact with. The book was empty, but Willow believes Dawn may have absorbed the contents of the book and the act was too much for her mind, therefore causing the catatonia. Giles was hoping that, with the symbols, I might discover what the contents were so they could find a way to reverse what happened to Dawn." 

Spike stood, staring down at the Englishman, his head reeling from the news. He didn't know what to say. Angel looked up at him, sensing his fear for the girl and his sense of helplessness, but knew there wasn't much he could do to help. He glanced back at the symbols on the fax in his hand, then spoke.

"Wes, are you saying that what's happening to Dawn and what's happening to Spike are connected?" 

"Yes, Angel, I believe they are. The mention of this Maker in relation to the amulet and the presence of that same being in the symbols on the book would seem to indicate there is a connection between all of this -- although I'm at a loss to know exactly what that connection is. I won't know more until I've had a chance to examine the other texts."

"You said you weren't sure that they even existed." He asked, watching as Spike started to pace back and forth across the floor, his agitation growing with each step.

"Yes, but Giles also told me that the book these symbols were found on was discovered in what appears to be an ancient library. It was hidden away in some tunnels underneath the castle that houses the Coven. I hope to find the text that these other symbols represent in that library. That's why I'm going to England this evening. I'd like Fred to come to help with the translations, but I'll need your approval to use the company jet." 

Angel sat on the couch, not saying a word for a few moments, taking in everything that Wes had told them. He looked at his childe's worried face, watching Spike nibbling at his bottom lip, then looked back at the ex-watcher. 

"I'll call the hanger and have them ready the plane."

"Thank you." Wes said as he rose from his seat. 

"Wes." Angel called to him before he reached the door.

"Yes?" 

"You and Fred aren't going alone. I'm coming with you."