Disclaimer: That's right, nobody used here belongs to me. Marvel owns em, and they're welcome to em. Most of the time. :) This is just something I threw together for fun, and I won't make any money from it. So please, don't sue. Wouldn't do you any good anyway. The lyrics to "It Matters to Me" came from a song by Faith Hill, and is copyright to whatever studio she uses. She knows, I don't. *g* This is a companion piece to 'Thoughts and Dreams.' If you haven't read that one, you'll still understand this one, but it helps to know the exact particulars. And thanks to all the positive feedback I received on the original, I had to do it. Blame it on lack of sleep and a streak of pure romanticism. And many many thanks to those who helped me thrash out the characterization. If there's a glitch with it, or with continuity, please don't blame them. I probably didn't listen when someone told me I had it wrong. Writer's prerogative, I think... DREAMS AND HOPES Her life couldn't have been called normal, by any standards... but today, she felt even more different than usual. Oh, sure, someone who was intangible more often than not could expect a certain distance from people, but this was tearing her apart. She gave a thought to the past, and a snort of mixed emotion escaped from her. Thoughts like these always made her feel funny. Especially thoughts about Pete. And Peter. And -him.- Peter. The gentle giant, her first love. The one who'd betrayed her heart for someone else, then thought he could return to her without even a thought for his cruelty. <> She wanted to shoot the radio when she heard it. It summed up so very nicely what she'd felt when Peter told her he was leaving, saying he wasn't sure he'd ever loved her. She'd been devastated, but had adapted. Maybe not as quickly as she would have liked, but she'd survived. Then came Pete Wisdom. She had no words to describe her relationship with him; she only knew that she'd loved him deeply. Loved him, yes, but it wasn't enough. Not enough to take her mind off that infuriating little furball. She trailed a hand through the water of the lake as her thoughts chased themselves around in her head. He'd been avoiding her, that much was obvious. And she was pretty sure she understood the reasons why. He was older, that was a fact. So what? Wisdom was older too. So was Peter. So that wasn't it. He felt rough, like his life had been something to be ashamed of. Well, she'd done a few things too that she wasn't proud of, that she wished hadn't happened. It was in the past. It could be overlooked. She knew the exact moment he'd decided she was someone he should steer clear of. That moment in Madripoor, when she'd finished dressing for that... that... wedding. A mockery of what marriage was supposed to be, that's for sure. But he went through with it, because he'd promised. He'd seen her, and for one heart-thumping moment she was sure he'd kiss her. -She- certainly wouldn't have minded. But then, he'd drawn away from her again and thrown up the barriers once more. She'd teased him after she saw that expression, lightly asking him to run away with her, knowing he wouldn't because of his vow. But the look in his eyes stopped her from continuing the banter. Only those who knew him well would have seen it, but it was there. A split-second glimpse of sorrow, quickly hidden behind his normal controlled facade. And after -that- episode, there'd been a couple more escapades, then the encounter with the Cerebrite. She was still unclear what had actually happened; but she'd been told about his reaction to her supposed demise. Surely that indicated some attachment... She shook her head sadly as she dragged her thoughts back to the present. Enough was enough; he'd never admit to those feelings for her. Never. He'd spent too much time in the role of mentor and father-figure. He just wouldn't be comfortable with changing that role now. She rose slowly from the ground, letting her thoughts go for a moment as she began to drift back toward the house. Maybe a session in the Danger Room would let her get some peace from her troubled thoughts. It was certainly worth a try. (Questions, comments? Flames to heat the house with? *g* Hope y'all enjoyed it...) Ro Riana Carreaux http://www2.crosswinds.net/indianapolis/~jhanne/index.htm Home of the fledgling Bishop Archive ICQ# 20355016