Chapter Five

For a moment it had all been so clear. She had been there—she had touched him, held his hand, and he had remembered. He had remembered her, and the memories had been real; vibrant. The sun on her snowy hair, so bright against her mocha skin; the sheer power behind her slender form as the lightening she had called flashed through the turbulent skies; her smile as she spoke to him; the touch of her hand on his wrist, guiding him as he helped her plant a row of flowers in the rich loam of her garden.

The images had come in a sudden, brilliant flash of clarity, her voice drawing them from him, beckoning him out of the darkness and away from the confusion, anger, and loneliness that had defined his life for so long. For a moment, his heart had been light and he could see...

And then, as quickly as it had come, the clarity had gone, leaving only the painful bitterness of its passing.

Kurt Wagner sighed, a sigh so deep and ragged it was almost a sob, his shoulders trembling as he pressed his head back against the cold stones of the wall by the pile of rags and musty cloths that made up his bed. He turned his anguished gaze to the shadowy rafters high above, slowly sinking down to crouch on the floor, his tail curling around to hug his knees as he fought against the tears stinging his eyes.

Three days ago, she had come. She had reached out to him—and then it had all disappeared in a hazy fog of rage. It was as though he had blacked out, but he had still been aware. Somewhere through the blinding pain, beyond the anger and hatred that had flooded his mind, he had still been conscious of her. He had heard her calling to him through the thickening fog, but the answering voice had not been his. It had been the voice of another...the cold, venomous voice of Belasco.

Kurt squeezed his eyes closed against the lump constricting his throat, fighting against the urge to lower his head, to sink his fingers in his hair. As long as he didn't look down, he could be himself. As long as he wasn't reminded of what he had become, he could be the man he had been. If he looked at his hand, his boots, if he touched the horns on his forehead or caught a glimpse of his shadow against the stone floor, Belasco would return. For now, however, Kurt was in control.

The sight of Ororo unconscious on the roof, just lying there so helpless and vulnerable, so completely at his mercy had jarred Kurt free of the fog, pulling him out of the darkness of his own mind. For that moment, all the anger, all the frustrated bitterness that fueled Belasco's burning hate had fallen away under the force of Kurt's sudden wave of stunned concern for her, giving him the opportunity to carry his former friend and teammate to safety.

He had crouched there in the darkness of the abandoned cathedral, just watching her as she breathed. He'd had no idea what to say to her, no idea of what Belasco had done to make her lose consciousness in the first place. So he had just waited, still and silent as a statue, until she finally opened her crystal eyes.

The undisguised terror that had twisted her expression when she'd looked at him had nearly caused Belasco and all his rage to overwhelm him once again. The fear in her eyes had cut him to the core, even after so much time. It would have been so easy to just surrender to the encroaching fog, to let himself slip away into the darkness as he had so many times before. But this time, something had been different. This time, Kurt Wagner had fought back.

Although she was most likely unaware of it, Ororo's visit had sparked something deep within him, something that had only continued to grow as the days passed. She had given him a reason to hope again. For the first time since discovering the truth of his identity, Kurt found himself truly believing that there was a chance his former friends had not given up on him, that perhaps...perhaps his redemption was possible after all. The brilliant flash of clarity Ororo had bestowed him had left a lingering afterglow in his heart, awakening a ghostly warmth—the warmth of compassion, of belonging, of love; feelings that had lain dormant and buried for so long he had nearly forgotten...

It was the hesitant, gradual reawakening of these feelings that had enabled Kurt to retain control for so long. The rage was still there, lurking at the edges of his psyche, just waiting for the opportunity to flare up once more. But for now...for now he could be himself.

Taking a deep breath, Kurt rose to his feet, fixing his golden gaze firmly on the stars shining outside his window.

"My name is Kurt Wagner," he stated, his voice firm and sure, his words colored with the distant memory of a German accent.

"My name is Kurt Wagner!" he shouted out into the darkness of the crumbling city, blinking his eyes forcefully against the sudden sting of unshed tears. Clenching his fist, he lifted his chin, his tail lashing behind him as his thin, russet lips stretched into a cold, triumphant smile.

"It is Belasco who is dead."

#######

"This way," Anna whispered through her giggles, her large, orange eyes bright in the moonlight.

"Where are we going?" Paul hissed back, laughing himself as she grabbed his scaly arm and pulled him closer.

"Just follow me," she said, her smile impish as she pushed the side door open and dragged him through.

"Won't we get in trouble?" he asked, slightly worried. "Going outside after curfew..."

"We won't leave the grounds," Anna assured him. "Don't tell me you're chickening out all ready."

"No!" Paul said quickly. "No, I just... It would really suck to get expelled after only eight weeks, don't you think?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "Honestly," she sneered. "You won't get expelled, believe me. And we won't get caught either."

She stopped their progress under a nearby tree, stepping close and looking deep into his yellow-slitted, reptilian eyes. "Now," she said with a wicked smile. "It's time to see if you really trust me. Climb up onto that tree branch."

She pointed to a thick branch just above their heads, then stepped aside to give him room. Paul shot her a somewhat nervous glance, chuckling slightly.

"If I'd known going out with you was going to involve so many risks..."

"So it's true then!" Anna exclaimed, angrily placing her hands on her hips. "You really did mean what you said at lunch."

"Anna, I don't even remember what I said at lunch," Paul protested.

"You don't believe I'll catch you, do you," Anna stated. "You actually think I'd let you fall."

"It's not that, Anna, really," Paul tried, taking a step closer to her. "It's just, I'm afraid of heights and—"

"You don't think I can control my powers well enough to catch you," she continued as if he hadn't even spoken. "That's it, isn't it? You don't trust me."

Paul threw up his hands in a helpless gesture of surrender. "Fine," he said. "I'll do it, OK? If my suicide is what it'll take to convince you of my utter respect and admiration for your abilities, then that's what I'll do. Here I go. I'm climbing the tree, see?"

"There's no reason to be so sarcastic," Anna scowled, watching as he hesitantly scooted out onto the branch.

"OK, I'm up here," he said, his slender, forked tongue flicking in and out of his mouth in anxiety. "What do you want me to do now?"

"Stand on the branch with your back towards me," Anna instructed, "then let yourself fall."

Paul's laugh was about two octaves too high. "Yeah. Right. Let myself fall. Sounds like fun."

"Just do it, Paul," she said impatiently. "I'll make an energy net to catch you."

"Make the net first," Paul said, his voice high and shaky. "Then I'll do it."

"But the whole point is to show you I can get the timing right," Anna protested.

"Anna, I know you can get the timing right," Paul cried, clinging desperately to the branch with both arms. "I just want to see the net, or else I won't be able to stand up. I wasn't kidding when I told you I'm afraid of heights!"

Anna looked up at him as though seeing him for the first time. Her eyes widened, then her angry, defensive expression softened. "You're not kidding, are you," she said, her voice much gentler. "You really are scared."

"No duh, geniusss," Paul snapped shakily, his flickering tongue making him hiss slightly.

"And you climbed all the way up there just for me?" Anna said, clasping her hands in front of her chest. "Oh, Paul, you really do trust me, don't you!"

"I told you I did, but you wouldn't believe me."

"I'll make you a net right away," she said, cracking her fingers then making an odd, circular gesture in the air. A large, glowing net shot from her hands, hovering just under the tree branch, several feet off the ground.

"OK, now just relax and let yourself go. The net is here to catch you, don't worry."

Just then, Anna heard Paul cry out in pain and alarm. She jumped, nearly losing control of her net.

"Paul, what is it?" she exclaimed. "Are you OK?"

"That wasn't me," Paul gasped out, more frightened than ever. "Just get me down, OK?!"

"Then who—"

"I don't know, OK?!" Paul cried. "Probably someone from the mansion. Please get me down, Anna. Please!"

"OK, Paul," she nodded, sobering as she returned her concentration to sustaining her glowing energy net. "The net's secure. Just roll off the branch and I'll lower you down."

Paul took several deep breaths, then nodded. "OK," he said, "I'm ready. Just promise me you won't tell anyo—"

Just then, there was a loud crack and a rustle of leaves as something large and dark plummeted out of the shadows above them to land heavily in the glowing net. Paul and Anna both screamed, the net vanishing as her concentration broke. As the dark shape continued its descent to the grass, Paul lost his balance on the tree branch. Luckily, the mysterious form broke his fall.

Paul sat up slowly, leaning forward to see what it was he had landed on.

"Anna," he whispered, his trembling voice breaking. "Anna, are you ssstill there?"

"Paul?" Anna sounded no better than her boyfriend as she crept closer, her breaths short and loud.

"It'sss a man," Paul hissed nervously, reaching out to tentatively pull aside his deep, red cloak so he could catch a glimpse of his narrow face. "He'sss not moving."

"Do you think he's...you know...dead?"

Anna and Paul looked at each other for a long, tense moment, then both students broke out into panicked screams, dashing away from the fallen stranger and back towards the mansion as fast as their legs could carry them.