Title:  	Forever Is Only A Day
Author:  	Sandy
Email:          sp23twop@yahoo.com
Rating:  	Over-all PG-13
Pairing:  	Spike/Buffy; Spike/Others (friendship)
Spoilers:	A/U end of series fic and beyond.  No 
		Spoilers past Empty Places.
Summary:	The Hellmouth is closed, but at a terrible cost.  
		Angst but with a hopeful ending.
Disclaimer:	Since Spike is going to be unemployed soon, I'm 
		hiring him to be my houseboy.  Until then though he 
		still belongs to Joss & Co
Feedback:	I crave it.

A/N #1	This story was inspired by Evenstar's wonderful "All Our 
Yesterdays"
A/N #2	I want to thank luba for her encouragement and suggestions.  
If it weren't for her, this story would probably still be sitting
unfinished on my hard drive.
Thanks are also given to Kimi for her encouragement and the terrific
Beta job.   
Ladies, as Clem would say: "You Rock!"


Chapter 1

The basement floor was littered with bodies, both of Potentials and
Bringers.  Now the survivors all stood frozen in place, unable to
move.  An ethereal being hovered over the Seal of Danzalthar holding
back the army of Turok Han the First was attempting to bring forth. 
Although Buffy was aware it wasn't really her, she had tears in her
eyes as she looked at her mother's form.

"Buffy," it was saying, "you must choose.  It is the only way.  A
sacrifice must be made, one dear to your heart.  Please believe me."

Buffy did believe it.  And she knew what the Entity was saying.  She
had to choose between the man she loved and her sister.  How?  How
could she choose to send one of the two people she loved most in the
world into the Hellmouth?  It wasn't fair!  It wasn't right!  She
had already made that sacrifice once.  She had sent Angel into a
Hell dimension, but at least she was able to take the tiniest bit of
comfort knowing that he had instigated the apocalypse that she had
to avert.  But this time those being called upon to be sacrificed
were innocents.  Neither Spike nor Dawn was responsible for the
First's coming.  It all lay upon her and her resurrection.

The tears in her eyes began to fall as she pleaded to her
Not-mother.  "Let it be me," she begged.  "It's my fault this
happened; it should be me who pays the price."  Buffy ignored the
cries from sister and lover, looking at, hearing only the vision of
Joyce.  "No Buffy.  You know that it can't be that way.  It must be
one of your choosing, but not you.  Choose now. Choose before it's
too late."

Buffy was sobbing now.  How?  How could she choose?  And in the end
she didn't.  He wouldn't let her make that choice.  

"Me," came the soft, confident voice.  "Buffy luv, there is no
choice.  Just say my name."

"No, please Spike no!" came her anguished cry.  She wasn't ready for
him to not be here.  She had only just told him she loved him.  They
had only had one night to consummate that love.

"It's not going to be the Bit, Buffy, you know that.  Just say my
name luv."

"Buffy, choose or all is lost," came the entity's voice again. 

The First was howling in rage and frustration.  If the sacrifice
were made, a willing sacrifice as this damned noble vampire was
going to be, all Its plans would be destroyed.  This Hellmouth would
be permanently closed and It would lose Its chance to shift the
balance of power.  But It was incorporeal and unable to physically
interfere and all Its remaining agents were locked in the stasis
that had affected the other mortals.

Now sobbing so hard as to be almost incoherent, Buffy begged,
"Please let me hold him one more time first.  Please!"

The Entity nodded its head once saying, "Just say the name Buffy,
and it will be as you ask."  Sobbing she choked out, "Spike.  I
choose Spike." and Buffy found she could move once again.  Turning
she looked at Spike who was already moving towards her.  He came up
to her, lightly traced her face with his hand and bent down to place
a soft kiss on her trembling mouth.

"I love you Buffy," he whispered.  "I'll always love you."  And then
they were in each other's arms clinging together, kissing
desperately, standing on the edge of the opened Seal of Danthalzar. 

Fate's a funny thing.  The Gods can't even control Fate.  She's
fickle and perverse and does as She sees fit.  And Fate decided that
this was the moment that an earthquake would happen.  Not a prophecy
earthquake; just a normal 4.5 on the Richter scale that occasionally
occurred in Southern California.  But at this hour on this day, two
people stood balanced at a precipice and the temblor was enough to
pitch both to the side and into the gaping maw of The Hellmouth.


Chapter 2

They landed hard.  The breath was knocked out of Buffy and Spike
himself was stunned.  He recovered first and crawling to Buffy he
shook her, trying to get her to take a breath.  Terror rushing
through his soul, he shook her again, slapped her face and finally
in desperation inhaled a deep breath and then placing his mouth over
hers, he forced air from his lungs into hers.

Buffy's chest rose and fell and then she was coughing and gasping
for breath.  Spike clasped her to him, thanking he wasn't sure who
for allowing his dead lungs to give her air, and helped her to sit
up so that she could breath more easily.

"Buffy, love, are you all right?"  Buffy's vision cleared, and she
looked into Spike's worry-filled eyes.  "Spike?  What happened? 
Where are we?"

Spike looked around and shuddered.  The landscape was truly the
stuff of nightmares.  Jagged rocks and fissures from which gas and
steam escaped as far as the eye could see.  What vegetation there
was, was stunted and misshapen.  Although a sun shone above, the sky
itself was red and hazy with dark rolling clouds, and Spike felt no
discomfort from the sun's weak rays.  Turning back to Buffy he
answered, "I think we're in hell, luv."

***

They explored the area as best they could, but it soon became
evident that there was no portal anywhere around.  Something else
also became evident.  There was no water or anything that Buffy
could eat.  And as far as that went, once you discounted Buffy,
there wasn't anything that Spike could eat either.

"Buffy we have to leave this area," Spike insisted.  "We need to
find food and water and shelter."

Buffy nodded agreement.  She was loath to leave here only because
she hoped a portal would open up and they could escape.  But she was
also aware that she would need water soon and there seemed little
hope of finding any of that where they now were.


"Which direction?" Buffy asked.  Spike shrugged.  "Don't know that
it matters much.  Pick one and we'll head out."  Glancing up at the
sky, he noted the position of the sun.  "It'll probably be dark in
three or four more hours.  We should try and find shelter.  Don't
much fancy staying out here after dark.  Don't know what uglies
might come out to play."

Buffy nodded nervously.  She knew that under other circumstances
Spike being afraid of the dark would be a cause for teasing, but she
didn't feel in an especially teasing mood right now.  In the end
they decided to travel in the direction of the setting sun under the
theory that they would have light longer.  Walking carefully, all
senses alert, they managed to make what Spike estimated to be about
10 miles before it began to be too dark to walk safely.  They found
no water, or food, or shelter.  Heading for a small outcropping of
rocks, they cleared a space and then sat down.  Buffy leaned into
Spike as he wrapped his arm around her.  

Sighing softly she looked up at him and said, "Do you think the
Hellmouth closed after we fell in?"

"Well luv, the sacrifice was made, so it should have," Spike
answered her.  

"But she, that Entity, said it couldn't be me.  What if my coming
here caused the Hellmouth to stay open?"  

Spike shrugged and said lightly, "They didn't toss Dawnie down after
us, so I'd say that it closed."

Buffy looked at Spike straight-faced.  "Ha Ha."

Gathering her closer he said, "There's no way we can know, Buffy.  
I was the chosen sacrifice and I'm here.  We can only hope that once
I entered the Hellmouth that it closed regardless of whether or not
you were with me."  Pushing her hair back from her face he added,
"Won't do us any good to worry over it, sweetheart.  We need to
concentrate on staying alive."

Snuggling against him, she asked quietly, "How long does it take for
a human to die from dehydration?  Three days?  Four?"  Spike turned
to her and said sharply, "We'll find water, Buffy.  We'll find water
if I have to dig to the center of this fucking planet to find the
water table."

Buffy reached her hand up and lightly stroked Spike's face. 
"Spike," she said softly, "if it comes to it, don't let me suffer. 
Use me to give yourself strength to go on.   Maybe you can find
something to sustain yourself farther on."

Spike looked at Buffy for a long minute and then snorted, "Don't be
such a daft bint.  I'm not going to drink you just so I can live
without you in this hellhole."

"Spike."

"No Buffy, listen to me.  I was willing to come here if it meant
saving you, saving Dawn and the others.  And I would have done
everything I could to survive in the hope that one day I would find
my way back to you.  But you're here with me now.  Anything happens
to you, well..." Spike looked around at the barren landscape. 
Sighing he continued,  "There's not much, but there's some wood
around."  Turning back to Buffy he leaned in and kissed her gently,
"I'll make good use of it, luv." 

Chapter 3

They traded off sleep time, each taking a turn keeping watch
throughout the night.  Although Spike heard some small scrabbling
sounds occasionally, he saw nothing.  When it became light enough,
they began their journey once again.  By mid-morning, Buffy's lips
were cracked and dry.  By late afternoon, she was stumbling a
little.  It was at that point that Spike insisted on carrying her.

"Spike, I can walk on my own," Buffy had snapped.  Damnit she was
The Slayer, not some girly girl that couldn't pull her own weight.

"And the more energy you expend, the more you need water," Spike
insisted.  "I don't need water, so you're little bit of extra weight
isn't going to bother me."

Buffy got that stubborn look on her face that drove him insane, but
this time he was through arguing with her.  With a sweep of his
arms, he gathered her up and started walking again.  Buffy
protested, but then settled against his cool body and conserved her
strength.

They traveled throughout the day, Spike putting Buffy down every few
hours and resting.  When darkness came, they again nestled against
the ever-present rocks, but this time Spike dozed half-alert to
danger while Buffy slept deeply.

They continued their journey the next day, but Buffy was weakening
and that frightened Spike more than he could say.  If the hours were
reckoned the same here as back home, then it was almost 60 hours
since she had last had water.  Spike stopped once again to rest,
holding his beloved close as she breathed shallowly against him.

Two hours later, Spike's head came up and he gently set Buffy down
on her feet.  "Spike, what is it?  Do you hear something?"

Spike looked at her, a big grin on his face, "Not hear luv, smell. 
There's water somewhere around here, I can smell it."

Buffy sniffed trying to locate the scent too, but Spike's superior
predator's senses had picked up something still too faint for her
human sense of smell.  Picking Buffy up again, he started moving
rapidly in a northerly direction.  It wasn't long before Buffy
caught the scent too.  Tightening her arms around Spike she
exclaimed, "Spike I smell it.  I can smell the water too."

Coming to the top of a rise, they stopped and stared.  About 15 feet
down the other side a small waterfall tumbled over rocks filling a
basin with fresh water.  Setting Buffy down on her feet again, they
held hands supporting each other as they ran down the hill.  Buffy
fell to her knees and bent over to take a deep drink when Spike
suddenly pulled her back.  

"Buffy, wait.  We don't know if this water is toxic or not.  Take
just a small sip.  Make sure you don't get sick from it."

Buffy gazed up at him, her face pale and serious.  "If the water
isn't any good, I'm going to die anyway. "

Spike looked at her helplessly.  She was right.  Another day, maybe
two.  This place was so barren, the chances of finding other water
so faint.  Nodding he said, "All right, but still drink just a
little.  You will make yourself sick if you drink too much too
fast."

Buffy lowered her head again and drank deeply.  It was so cool and
sweet going down her throat that she never wanted to stop.  Spike
pulled her away from the water after just a few swallows.  She
protested, but knew he was right.  Over the course of the next
couple hours, Buffy drank and washed and drank some more.  Then
getting to her feet, she started to walk towards some rocks away
from Spike.  

"Buffy, pet, where are you going?"

Buffy beamed a huge smile at Spike.  "I have to pee, Spike."

Spike threw back his head and laughed.
   
Chapter 4

They spent the rest of the day there resting, drinking and washing. 
Even though Spike didn't need the water to survive, it still felt
good going down his dry throat.  Relieved they had found water, he
knew there was still the problem of food.  There was some kind of
animal life around; he had heard the scrambling sounds in the rocks
and had smelled a faint rodent-like musk, but hadn't seen anything
yet.  While Buffy rested, he hunted without luck.

When darkness fell, they made a pallet out of his duster and lay
down together.  As their bodies touched, Buffy turned to him kissing
his neck and lightly stroking his torso.  Spike grabbed her hand
stopping her.  Turning his head to face her he said, "Sweetheart,
you shouldn't do that.  You need to save your strength."

Buffy raised herself on one elbow and looked soberly into his eyes. 
"Spike, I don't want to put off making love to you.  Not anymore." 
Waving her hand in a sweeping gesture, she continued, "Look at where
we're at.  We don't know if we'll live another day in this place. 
What if something happens to one of us tomorrow and this night was
the last chance we had to be together."  Lowering her head, she
brushed a light kiss against his lips.  "I want to make love with
you Spike.  I want to feel your body on mine.  I want to taste you
and touch you.  I don't want to save my strength, not if it means we
can't make love."

Spike looked at his beautiful girl and then reached up to draw her
head to his for a kiss that rapidly grew heated.  Pulling her under
him, he moved to her neck where he kissed each sensitive spot.  His
hands traced up and down her body, across her breasts, cupping her
bottom and pulling her up against his hardness.  They slowly
undressed each other, each kissing, licking and nipping at the other
while their hands stroked and caressed and teased.  Their breath
became ragged and the scent of Buffy's arousal filled Spike's
senses.  He kissed his way down her body until he came to the source
of that delicious smell and then his head was there, mouth eagerly
open as he licked and sucked at the tight little bundle of nerves at
her center.  Buffy moaned and writhed under him, urging him to give
her the satisfaction she craved.  Lifting his head he positioned
himself and slowly entered her, pushing into her until he was fully
engulfed by her.  Withdrawing from her and then entering again, he
set a steady measured pace that caused Buffy to wrap herself tightly
around him answering his rhythm with her own.  They held back from
their climaxes as long as they could, savoring their coupling, not
wanting it to end, but at last their need became too great.  The
pace increased, the moans grew louder, the kisses hotter, wetter,
more passionate until at last Buffy stiffened under him, crying out,
holding him tightly to her as she clenched around him.  Spike held
off a few strokes more and then joined his love in release.

They made use of the pool of water to clean themselves from the
sticky residue of their lovemaking and then dressed again.  In this
place, they didn't feel comfortable enough to remain naked and
vulnerable although both would have preferred to sleep with skin
touching skin.  Spike again dozed half alert to danger while holding
Buffy close to him.  He prayed to a deity he wasn't sure even
existed here that Buffy's friends would find a way to pull them out
of here soon.  

The next morning, they decided to follow the stream of water back to
its source.  Where there was water, there was probably plant and
animal life nearby.  Scrambling up the rocks to the top of the small
hill, they found that the waterfall was fed by a narrow stream that
flowed through a savanna-like plain.  The plain consisted of dirt,
rocks, a low-growing scrubby grass and woody plants.  On the far
horizon they could see what appeared to be a few stunted trees and
more rocks.  All in all in was a most unappealing landscape.  

They followed the stream throughout the morning and it was nearly
mid-day when Spike suddenly halted, head up, nostrils flaring. 
Buffy went instantly still.  She wanted to ask what it was Spike was
scenting, but knew enough to keep quiet.  With a burst of
preternatural speed, he suddenly sprinted towards the nearest
outcropping of rocks, circled around and dived down.  Buffy heard a
sharp squeal, a low growl from Spike and then there he was,
triumphantly holding up a creature not too unlike a rabbit.  It was
kicking and flailing wildly with its back legs, but Spike kept a
tight hold on it.  Walking jauntily back to Buffy, he declared,
"Look what I found for us, luv."

Buffy stomach growled at the thought of food.  Under normal
circumstances, she would never have considered eating something so
tough-looking and unappetizing, but as the old saying goes, hunger
makes the best sauce.  As he joined her, Spike hesitated a bit and
then said, "Look luv, why don't you gather up some brush so we can
make a bit of a fire, cook this little morsel.  I'll, uh, take care
of killing and cleaning it."

Buffy realized why Spike was suddenly uncomfortable.  He didn't want
her to see him drain the creature.  Buffy stroked his face gently
and said, "Spike, I know you're a vampire.  I know how you feed.  I
love you, okay?  Don't worry that I'll be disgusted seeing you eat."

Spike smiled gratefully at her but was still relieved when she went
off to gather the kindling.  Spike immediately shifted into game
face, plunged his fangs into the animal's neck and quickly drained
it.  The blood was not particularly tasty, but he was relieved to
discover that it satisfied his need.  Taking the only knife they had
with them, he then skinned and cleaned it.  By the time Buffy had
returned, he was ready to start a fire. 

Chapter 5

"I guess it's a good thing you started smoking again," Buffy
observed as Spike flicked his lighter and set a tight bundle of dry
grass aflame.  Spike just smirked at her.  He was gratified that he
had spent so much time over the past few years watching The
Discovery Channel.  He was amazed at just how much he knew about
making a cook fire in a hostile environment.  A ring of rock
surrounded the brush and grass that Spike had woven into a tight
knot.  He had then placed a few flat stones near the center to catch
the heat.  Once the stones were hot enough, Spike would set the now
prepared carcass on them to cook.  

Buffy watched everything he did with amazement.  How did he know so
much?  Vampires didn't camp out, but Spike seemed right at home in
the rough environment.  

When the animal was at last cooked, Spike again monitored Buffy's
intake.  It had been days since she had last eaten and Spike didn't
want her to lose the precious nourishment by eating too fast and
then throwing it up.  And so Buffy ate a little and then waited a
while before she ate some more.  The meat was as tough and tasteless
as Buffy has feared, but it filled the empty place in her belly so
she was happy for it.

***

The days and weeks that followed fell into a pattern.  They walked,
hunted, ate whenever they were lucky in the hunt, made love when
they weren't too exhausted and slept only to get up the next day and
start all over again.  The landscape changed very little; an endless
flat plain with scrubby vegetation, a few outcroppings of rocks and
the small stream.  Their only food was the small animals that lived
on the plain, creatures that resembled rabbits mostly but also other
ground-dwelling rodent-like creatures.  None of them were very
palatable, but they kept the two alive or in Spike's case from
becoming a walking skeleton.

Neither of them had carried much fat and in the harsh conditions
both grew even thinner, wirier, their muscles longer and leaner. 
Buffy's periods stopped.  At first she thought a miracle had
happened and she had gotten pregnant by Spike, but Spike remembered
something he had seen on Oprah.  They had been discussing girls who
suffered from anorexia and how they became so underweight that their
menses stopped.  Spike thought that Buffy's weight loss was the
reason.  Buffy was surprised how disappointed she was.  She
certainly wouldn't choose to bring a baby into this place, but
still.

They had been travelling for about four months after falling into
The Hellmouth before the landscape finally began changing.  More
trees were growing and Buffy was overjoyed the first time she found
one that actually bore fruit.  It tasted somewhat like a pear and
she and Spike shared the succulent treat, kissing and licking the
juice from each other's mouths and fingers.

The ground started to rise and their stream disappeared.  They then
had to make the decision to go on or stay there where they knew
there was water.  They had nothing with which to carry water.  Spike
knew that in the old days on Earth, they used to make wineskins from
the skins of goats and he decided they would try to do that with the
skins of their kills.  And so they made a semi-permanent camp at the
edge of their stream and Spike and Buffy went Ten Million Years BC. 
They made crude stone instruments and used a bone needle and gut
from the animals to sew the dried skins together.  It took them
weeks more to finally figure out how to make a waterproof skin, but
at last they succeeded.

Filling the completed waterskins, they forged on.  They had decided
that Buffy would drink the water as sparingly as possible.  Once she
had consumed half their supply, they would make the decision to turn
back or take a chance and continue on hoping to find more water. 
Within five days, they found some.

The area was like a small oasis with a few fruit-bearing trees, wild
grasses and more importantly for Spike, animals.  The water bubbled
up out of the ground from a natural spring.  They spent a month here
resting, eating, and gaining back their strength.  By now their
clothes were ragged and so they used the animal skins to make crude
garments although for the most part they didn't bother wearing
clothes at all.  The air was always warm, sometimes uncomfortably
hot, but at least here the constant sulfuric smell from the escaping
gases was gone.  

One day Spike came back from another unsuccessful hunt and told
Buffy, "Time to move on, luv.  I think we've pretty much played out
the animal life around here."

Buffy nodded.  For the last week Spike had been less and less
successful in the hunt and Buffy had begun preparing for the move. 
Gathering their belongings together, filling the waterskins, they
continued on their endless journey to find a place they could make
into a home.

As they walked, Spike contemplated Buffy.  She never complained, but
he felt her moments of despair.  He knew she longed for home; her
sister, her friends, Giles.  Hell, he longed for home too, even if
the only one who loved him was with him.  But until Willow found a
way to pull them back, and he had every confidence the witch
wouldn't give up until she had found a way, they would make the best
of their lot.  

They traveled for weeks more, but it was easier.  The area was more
verdant with water found every few days and more of the small
ground-dwelling animals that had become the staple of their diet.  

They set up camp at the base of a small mountain they were going to
cross the next day.  Buffy looked at it and sighed.  It looked to be
about a thousand feet high and they would probably have to spend the
night on it.  She was so tired.  Sometimes she wondered if she died
would she find her way back to that place of peace she had known
before?  It was so tempting to just give up, but then she would look
at Spike and know that she could never leave him here alone.  And so
she continued on; walking, hunting, surviving.  She hated it here.

Chapter 6

The going had been rougher than they had expected.  There were
places where the path they were following ended in a deep crevasse
and they would have to backtrack to find another way.  Two days
after starting their climb, they finally reached the top of the
mountain and looked down the other side.  It was breathtaking.

A wide, deep valley stretched out below with a sparkling river
running through it to the east.  Trees and plants of many different
varieties grew on either side of the flowing water and then Spike's
sharp eyes spotted something moving below.  Grabbing Buffy's hand
tightly, he pointed, "My God, pet, look!"

Buffy followed his pointing finger and finally made out what he saw,
Something was moving in the far distance.  "What is it?" she asked.

Spike grinned, the first grin she'd seen on him in what seemed eons.
"It's a herd of animals, luv.  Grazing animals.  Big bastards, not
those little rats we've been living on."

Buffy felt laughter bubbling up inside of her.  The small animals
had kept them from starving, but she hadn't really felt full since
coming here.  Now perhaps they would be able to kill something big
enough to satisfy both of them.  With lighter hearts and steps, they
started to make their way down the mountain.

The going down was easier than the going up had been and they were
able to reach the valley floor by noon the next day.  Spike
estimated it would take them a couple days' travel to reach the area
where they had seen the herd, so they decided to set up camp where
they were and rest for the remainder of the day.  In the morning
they would begin the trek to the far side of the valley.

After their camp was ready they hunted and were rewarded with two
squirrel-like animals.  Spike drained their blood and Buffy helped
him skin and clean them.   There was plenty of firewood around and
they quickly had a fire going and the meat cooking.

The next morning they arose and started what they hoped would be the
last leg of their journey.

***

Spike and Buffy squatted in the high grass, watching the herd as it
grazed just ahead of them.  The animals were very similar to deer or
antelope with wicked looking antlers and sharp hooves.  They would
have to be fast and careful when they took one of them down.  And
Buffy wanted to be sure that it was still alive when they took it. 
She wanted Spike to be able to drink the still hot flowing blood.  

At last they spotted their target.  A youngster had drifted away
from the main body of the herd and was slowly grazing its way to
where they were hidden.  Buffy felt Spike tense beside her preparing
to spring and readied herself.  At his signal, they burst from the
hiding place, one going east, the other west, and within seconds the
young beast was down.  Buffy held down its flailing back legs while
Spike captured the front.  Pinning the front legs between his
thighs, he grabbed the animal's head, pulled it back exposing the
throat, vamped out and plunged his fangs deeply into its neck.  

Buffy watched fascinated as Spike drank greedily, blood overflowing
his mouth and running down his chin.  The animal struggled for a
while, but then as its blood fed the vampire, it slowly became
still.  When it was dead, Spike raised his head and roared in
victory.  Turning his head he looked at her with the yellow eyes of
the demon in full control.  Quicker than she could fathom, he
grabbed her and pushed her down on top of his kill.  Locking one
hand into her hair, he pulled her head back and crushed his mouth
onto hers.  She tasted and smelled the blood still on his mouth and
found herself opening her legs to him as his wildness called to
hers.

Pulling away from her he tore the skins from her body, exposing her
nakedness.  Tearing his own loincloth off, he plunged into her,
thrusting deeply and hard.  There was nothing gentle in their
coupling.  William was buried beneath the beast let loose.  They
hadn't been together like this for over a year, and Buffy found that
it thrilled her.  They bit and scratched and gave each other no
quarter, and when they came, their screams caused the animals to
take flight.

***

Spike lifted his head from where it rested at the base of Buffy's
throat and his sanity slowly returned.  Looking at the bite marks he
had left on Buffy's neck, he jerked away in horror crying out, "Oh
God Buffy, I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry."  

Buffy lifted herself up on her elbows and shook her head.  "Spike,
no!  It's all right.  I'm fine.  More than fine."

"Christ, Buffy, I just raped you!" 

"No!  No, Spike you didn't.  God, didn't you feel how ready I was
for you?  I wanted you as much as you wanted me."

Spike swallowed, tasting her blood mixed in with the blood of the
animal he had killed and felt sick.  "No, Buffy, you would never
have allowed me to bite you, take you like that.  That's not what we
are anymore."

Buffy leaned forward to take his head between her hands.  He tried
to jerk away from her, but she wouldn't allow it.  "Spike, listen to
me.  You surprised me, yes.  But I was willing.  Do you hear me?  I
was willing."  She smiled shyly.  "I didn't think you wanted to be
rough anymore, so I never asked.  I kinda missed it."

Spike stared at her in surprise and shock.  "You don't want me to be
gentle with you?  To make love?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying.  Spike I love making love with you.
I love it when you're gentle and tender and caring.  But I like it
rough sometimes too.  Can't we do both?"

Spike felt a small battle being waged inside him.  William's gentle
Victorian soul was rather shocked by Buffy's words; Spike's demon
gloated.  

Smiling rather ruefully, Spike ran a hand through the thick mass of
long curls on his head and replied, "I think maybe we can work
something out."  Reaching out, he traced a finger down her neck and
asked, "I didn't hurt you did I?  Never bit you before."

"No," she smiled.  "You didn't hurt me.  Did I hurt you?"  

At his confused look, Buffy traced the area covered by her own bite
marks.  Spike reached up and felt them with surprise.  He hadn't
even realized she had bit him.  His reaction was instantaneous and
obvious.  Buffy laughed and crawled into his lap, ran her hands into
his hair and yanked his head back.  Running her tongue up his neck
she then captured his mouth with hers and lowered herself onto his
erection.  As she moved on him she told him, "I love you Spike.  And
sometimes I want to make love, and sometimes I just want to fuck." 
Spike growled deep in his chest. 

Chapter 7

They had found a home.  It was a primitive land, very much like what
prehistoric Earth must have been like and they seemed to be the only
two sentient beings about, but the valley they found was a Garden of
Eden to them.  The herd animals became an important source of their
food, but they were very careful to not overhunt them.  The narrow
river contained a few fish, the trees supplied Buffy with fruit and
nuts and they even found a few roots that were edible.  

While tracking animals in the foothills not far from the river,
Spike came across a slit in the rockface.  Investigating, he found
that it was the opening to a small cave.  At last they had found
permanent shelter.  

***

The years passed and Buffy began to feel the weight of them, but
Spike never changed.  Young, handsome, strong, vibrant, he remained
as he had been the first time she saw him, but Buffy's hair turned
gray, her eyesight started to fail, her skin dried and wrinkled. 
She became an old woman, but Spike never noticed.  To him, she was
still beautiful and he loved her with his whole heart.

As time was tallied in that place, they lived together in their
valley for almost sixty years, but one morning Buffy didn't wake 
up from her night's sleep.  Spike's howl of anguish was heard
throughout the land.  He lay beside her cold body for two days and 
two nights before he could give her back to the ground.  And after 
that, he slowly went insane.

***

They had had a long talk in the last year they were together about
what Spike would do once Buffy was gone.  He had stated flatly that
he would stake himself and be done with an existence that would no
longer have meaning for him.  She had insisted that he had to
continue living so that when Willow found a way to rescue them, he
could tell them what had happened and how happy she had been living
with him.  

"Buffy, sweetheart," Spike had told her that night.  They were
laying on their pallet wrapped in each other's arms; an old, old
woman and a young looking, but even older vampire.  "It's over fifty
years we've been here.  If Willow is even still alive, it's obvious
that she couldn't find a way to rescue us.  I don't want to live
here without you, luv."

Buffy had caressed his face and told him, "Time could be passing
differently here than back home.  You know that.  Angel was in his
Hell dimension for almost two-hundred years, but only a few months
passed on Earth.  We have to believe that you can still get home. 
Please, Spike, promise me.  Promise me that you won't hurt yourself;
that you'll survive to tell the others.  Please."

And since Spike could never deny her anything, he promised.

So Spike continued to exist, but it held no joy for him.  He moved
out of their cave, because it became too painful for him to be where
they had lived and loved for so long.  He fed only when his demon
was nearly insane with hunger and very nearly became the walking
skeleton that he had once told Giles about.  His hair grew long and
ragged and he didn't care.  His clothes rotted from his body, and he
didn't replace them.  He was dirty and wild and often out of touch
with reality.  And he continued on for seventy-five more years,
alone with only the ghost of Buffy to talk to.

***

He had been crouched in the tall grass, watching the herd of food
beasts when a distortion in the air appeared in front of him. 
Pulling back in fright, he vamped out and growled menacingly at the
unknown threat.  

"Buffy?"

Spike felt his hackles rise.  It was a human voice.  One he thought
he should recognize, but it had been so long since he had heard any
voice but his own, he wasn't sure.

"Buffy?  Spike?  Are you there?  It's Willow."

"Willow?"  Spike's voice was rough from disuse.

"Spike!" Another voice, female.  Whose?

"Spike, is Buffy there with you?  It's Dawn."

"Nibblet?"  Spike felt tears gathering in his eyes.  They had found
him?  His memory was vague, but he remembered them.  Willow, Dawn,
Xander, Giles, Anya, Tara.  No, Tara was dead; he remembered that
now.  But the others, they had survived.

"Spike, it's Willow again.  Get Buffy and come through the portal. 
I can't hold it for very long.  Please hurry."

Spike nodded and then said, "I'll get her."  Running quickly back to
his campsite, he grabbed the bag of animal skin he always kept near
and ran back to the portal.  "We're here now," he said.  "What do I
do?"

"Both of you jump through the portal.  Jump together so that it
doesn't close and leave one of you behind.  Okay?"

"Right," he answered.  

Taking a deep breath and clutching his bag closely to him, he
leaped.

And landed right in the middle of the living room at 1630 Revello
Drive.  Crouched down in fear and defense, he held onto his precious
bag and stared at those in front of him; four females, four males. 
He stared from one to the other, dragging his memory of them up from
the abyss of his mind.  

They in turn stared at him in shock.  His hair was a mass of long
filthy brown curls, he was skinny and dirty and naked.  He clutched
a ragged bag made of animal skins to his chest, and he was alone.

Dawn stepped forward crying out, "Spike, where's Buffy?!  Where is
she?!"

Spike stared at the young female.  Dawn?  Was this Dawn?  He
remembered the name because he and Buffy would talk of her friends
and family, but her face was long lost to his memory.  

Another female, one older with red hair, reached out and drew the
girl back.  "Dawnie, don't get too close."  Then addressing him in a
soft voice, she said, "Spike, I'm Willow.  Do you know who I am?"

Spike nodded, "The witch.  Buffy's friend."

"Yes, that's right.  I'm Buffy's friend.  Spike, where is Buffy? 
You said she was with you."

Spike looked down at the bag he clutched so protectively to his
chest.  "She's here.  I keep her with me, always."

He heard them all gasp and saw the shock on their faces.  And it
struck him finally that they all looked the same as when he had last
seen them.  Looking from one face to the next, he then looked back
at Willow and said, "How long?"

Willow frowned slightly and then asked, "How long since you
disappeared into The Hellmouth?"

Spike nodded.

"One day," she answered, and then gathering her courage she asked,
"How long was it for you?"

"Forever," he answered. 

Chapter 8

Spike heard the sound of crying and turned his head to see the girl
Dawn sobbing into a man's chest.  Giles, his memory was telling him.
This was Giles, Buffy's Watcher.

Standing up, Spike took a few hesitant steps towards Dawn, only to
see her shrink back from him.  Another of the men, tall with dark
hair and brooding eyes, came forward shrugging off a long coat. 
"Here, Spike," the man said gently, "put this on."

Spike realized at last that he was naked, remembered that this
wasn't appropriate, and quickly slid his arms through the sleeves of
the jacket, switching the bag from one hand to the other as he did. 

"Spike," the tall man said, "what's in the bag?" His voice was quiet
and Spike looked at him curiously for a few seconds trying to place
him, and then his memory cleared again.  

"Angel?"

Angel smiled, "Yes Spike, it's Angel."

Spike looked down at the bag still clutched tightly to his chest. 
"It's her, Angel.  It's our girl."  Snapping his head up he said
earnestly, hoping that he would be believed, "I took good care of
her, Angel.  When she couldn't take care of herself anymore, I took
care of her."

More sobbing and then an anguished, "But what happened to her,
Spike, and what do you mean that's her in the bag?"

Spike again turned to face Dawn and swallowed the painful lump in
his throat, "She grew old, Little Bit.  She grew old and then one
day..." He hesitated, unable to speak for a minute.  "One day, she
was gone.  I buried her, but not too deep.  In case she came back to
me, you know?  And I checked on her every day to make sure she
didn't wake up alone.  But she never did."

Stroking the bag gently he continued.  "I didn't want to leave her
there in that place."  He glanced at Willow.  "She was so sure that
you would get us out, Willow.  So, so I made an ossuary and gathered
her bones and kept them with me."

"Her bones?" Dawn shrieked.  "You have her bones in there?"

Spike flinched from the shrillness of Dawn's voice and backed away.

"Anya," Angel ordered, "take Dawn out of here for a while will you?"

"No! I want to find out what happened.  How could she die of old
age?  She was only 22!"

Spike shook his head.  "We were there for years and years Dawnie.  I
think about sixty years before she died."  Spike hung his head and
when he raised it again the look of anguish on his face was
palpable.  "I was there for, I don't know, seventy-five or eighty
years more after she was gone."

There was a collective gasp from the humans.  "Alone?" Xander asked.
Spike merely nodded his head.  

Angel understood what Spike was going through.  He had been sent to
his own Hell dimension after all.  He also knew that Spike was in a
fragile state right now and needed time to readapt to this plane. 
Stepping close to him again, he slowly placed an arm on Spike's
shoulder.  "Spike, we need to get you cleaned up and dressed.  Come
with me now, okay?"

Spike looked at his elder with gratitude in his eyes.  Yes, he
wanted to be away from all these people.  He was getting more and
more agitated and his demon wanted to attack.  Angel turned to
Faith.  "Faith, would you go down to the basement and get some clean
clothes for Spike?  Bring them up to the bathroom."

Faith nodded and headed for the basement.  Angel led the way
upstairs with Spike trailing closely behind him.  Once in the
bathroom, Angel turned on the shower and then held out his hands for
the ossuary.  "Will you trust me to protect her while you wash
yourself?"

Spike hesitated for a second and then handed the bag over.  Slipping
from the coat he walked over to the shower and stood there looking
at it.  "Waterfall," he said.

"What?" Angel asked.

"There was a waterfall.  When we finally found water for the first
time.  There was a waterfall.  We made love beside it."

Angel flinched a little but said, "I'm sorry she's gone, Spike.  
I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner."

Spike looked down and nodded then turned his head towards Angel.  "I
was with her for sixty years, Angel.  I never would have had her for
that long here.  They would have killed her."

Angel knew what he was saying.  Buffy would have died, either from a
vampire or a demon or trying to stop the next apocalypse.  There was
a knock at the door and Angel opened it a crack to accept the
clothing Faith handed him.  "He okay?" she asked with concern.

"He will be," Angel answered.  "Thanks for the clothes, Faith." 

"Sure.  Need anything else?"

"Not right now, thanks."  With that Angel closed the door and placed
the clean clothes on the table next to the sink.  Spike had gotten
into the shower and was washing, scrubbing his long matted hair
clean, pouring body wash on his skin and rubbing the washcloth up
and down his arms and chest.

When he at last finished, he turned off the water and Angel handed
him a towel.  When he was dry, Angel handed him his clothes.  The
clothes were small, so small in fact that Angel would have had a
hard time getting one leg into the waist of the jeans let alone draw
them on, but they hung loosely on Spike's emaciated frame.

"We need to get you fattened up boy," Angel said.  "There's plenty
of pig's blood in the refrigerator.  We'll get you some as soon as
we're finished here."

Spike eyed Angel and with a smirk commented, "Yeah, well, pig's
blood will do the job."

The smirk was just a shadow of the look that used to irritate Angel
so much, but he was so happy to see that Spike was actually trying
to be a smart-ass that he gladly played along.  Looking down at
himself he said with concern, "You saying I'm fat?"

Spike shrugged and began vigorously toweling his hair, "Not fat
exactly, but it wouldn't hurt you to work out a little, mate."

"Hey, I work out all the time."

Spike just snorted, "Right."

Angel looked down at himself again.  Maybe he had put on a few
pounds, but he hadn't had time recently to actually exercise. 
Looking back up at Spike he winced at the rat's nest that was
Spike's hair.  The blond was long gone of course and the brown locks
were waist-length, tightly curled and so tangled that a comb would
never go through them.

"We need to do something about that hair Spike," Angel said.  "You
look like the Wild Man of Borneo."

"Yum-yum, eat 'em up," Spike answered.  At Angel's blank look, Spike
snorted and asked, "Christ, Angel, what did you do in the hundred
years after you left us?  Live in a sewer somewhere?  You know
fuck-all about pop culture."

"Hey, I know about pop culture.  I knew about the Wild Man of
Borneo, didn't I?"  Angel was pleased by Spike's responses.  He was
regaining his equilibrium and memories much faster than Angel could
have hoped. It had taken Angel weeks to reach this point, but then
he had been alone in his Hell dimension the entire time knowing that
the woman he loved had sent him there and that it was his fault
entirely.  The guilt over what he had almost done broke him just by
itself.

Placing the ossuary back into Spike's reaching hands, he began
searching through the vanity drawers until he came up with a pair of
scissors.  Taking a large bath towel, he draped it over Spike's
shoulders and secured it with a hair clip.  

"Sit down on the toilet Spike," Angel ordered.  "I'm no barber, but
we can get some of this mess taken off and then take you to a
professional later."

"Yeah, okay, but be careful.  I'm right fond of my ears where they
are."

Grabbing a hunk of Spike's hair and giving it a playful tug, Angel
began cutting.  Soon the floor was littered with locks of hair and
Spike felt relief as the weight was removed from his head.  Buffy
had always cut his hair for him with one of the sharp flint knives
they made, but he hadn't bothered much after her death.

"Angel, what happened after Buffy and I fell into the Hellmouth?"
Spike asked as Angel worked on his hair.

"It just disappeared," Angel answered.  "As soon as you fell through
the opening, it slammed shut and then just disappeared."

It had been chaos as soon as the Hellmouth closed.  The stasis spell
had been broken and everyone was able to move again.  The First let
out a scream of rage and It disappeared too.  At that point, The
Bringers had fled with the remaining Potentials in pursuit.  They
had reminded Angel of the mad Maenads of Greek mythology.  The
Entity that looked like Joyce said that the balance had been
restored and started to fade away when Dawn had cried out, "Where's
Buffy?  Please, you said that she wasn't to be the sacrifice.  Bring
her back."

"I cannot do that, Dawn, I'm sorry," Not-Joyce had said.  "But know
that she and the vampire are alive.  They will care for each other."
She had then faded away.

After tending to the fallen girls, the group had returned to Revello
Drive and Angel had placed a call to Fred.  She, Wesley and Willow
had worked together researching a way to open a portal to the
dimension where the two were trapped and were so happy that they
found their answer only twenty-four hours after the Hellmouth had
closed.

But it was still too late.

Finishing his tale and the haircut at roughly the same time, Angel
replaced the scissors and scooped the cut hair into the wastebasket.
Spike stood up and ran his hand through his hair.  It was still too
long, but at least now he was able to brush it.  He would go to the
demon hairdresser that operated a salon down by Willie's as soon as
possible.  That is if she hadn't fled town like so many others had.

Leaving the bathroom, they made their way back downstairs.

Chapter 9

Angel felt the tension return to Spike as soon as they caught sight
of the others in the Summers' living room.  The remaining Potentials
had joined the rest and were staring at Spike as he hesitated at the
foot of the stairs.

Angel gently nudged Spike towards the kitchen telling the group,
"Spike needs something to eat and then he needs to rest.  You can
talk to him tomorrow if he feels up to it."  His voice brooked no
argument and only Faith stood up and followed them into the kitchen.

When Angel scowled at her, she merely said, "Sorry, Angel, but we do
have something that's gotta be discussed now.  Dawn's flipping out
in there because of that."  She pointed to the bag that Spike still
held.  When Spike pulled the bag protectively against his body,
Faith said softly, "Look, man, I know you've protected her all these
years, but you know you can't keep her now.  She needs to be buried.
You know that, right?"

"Faith, this can wait," Angel insisted.  He had poured a large mug
full of pig's blood and was heating it up for Spike.  "Just tell
Dawn that we'll discuss what to do with Buffy's bones tomorrow.  In
the meantime, Spike will care for them just as he has for almost a
century."

"I'm telling you, Angel, she's really freaking in there," Faith
insisted.

"Too bad," was Angel's cold response.  "This isn't about her.  It's
about Spike."

Spike looked in surprise at his progenitor.  Angel had never taken
his side in anything before.  Spike was gratified and had to blink
back tears.  God, he was so tired and worn and emotionally drained
that he really wasn't in a place to fight his own battles.  Angel's 
presence and support were soothing Spike, allowing him to focus in 
a way he hadn't been able to in way too many years.

Faith had nodded at Angel, touched Spike lightly on the shoulder in
reassurance and left the kitchen. The younger vampire drank the
warmed blood and made a face.  

"It'll take a while to get used to bagged blood again.  Got used to
fresh blood from the kill.  When I bothered to eat that is."

"What did you eat Spike?  There weren't any, uh," Angel hesitated,
afraid of what the answer would be.

"Herd animals mostly," Spike answered.  "Ruminants like deer or
antelopes.  There was a small herd in the valley where we lived. 
That or ground-dwelling rodents."  He looked at Angel and saw the
relief on his face.  "The only human there was Buffy, Angel.  I
never fed from her.  Never."

Angel nodded.  He knew Buffy well enough to know that if it had been
necessary, she would have made Spike feed from her if that was the
only way he could have obtained blood.  And Angel was well aware of
the danger that would have been.  Soul or no soul, love or no love,
human blood was too rich, too sweet for a vampire to pull away from
before the victim was drained.  

When Spike had finished his blood, they went down into the basement.
Spike sat on the cot and stared at his bare feet.  "Need new boots,"
he remarked.

"Yes, I guess you do," Angel answered.  "Tell me your size and I'll
go get a pair tonight while you sleep."

Spike looked up with just a hint of panic on his face.  "You're
going to leave?" he asked anxiously.

Angel recognized the look for what it was and shook his head, "Not
if you don't want me to.  I'll send one of the others after them if
you like."

Spike closed his eyes in relief and just nodded, "Yeah, thanks.  I,
I just don't want to be left alone in this house with them.  You
understand?  It's been too long since I've been around humans. 
Their scent.  I just don't trust myself."

Angel nodded, "Try to get some sleep, Spike.  I'll be upstairs.  You
need me, I'll be here."

With that, Spike stretched out on the cot, clutching the ossuary bag
to his chest.  He still held Buffy every night while he slept.

***

When Angel returned to the living room he was met with a cacophony
of noise.  Questions, remarks, demands for answers hit him at every
side.  Angel stood still, his face getting stonier and stonier as
the voices pelted him.  The loudest and shrillest was Dawn's.  

"Where's my sister?  We have to bury her.  I don't want her in that
filthy bag any longer."

Angel looked directly at Dawn and something is the elder vampire's
face caused her to finally shut up.  "Spike has the bag, as he's had
the bag every night since he placed her bones in it.  I told Faith
to tell you that we'd discuss what to do with her tomorrow when
Spike is feeling stronger."

"Really, Angel," Giles interjected.  "Dawn has every right to
receive Buffy's remains.  She is Buffy's sister after all.  Her next
of kin."

"Spike was Buffy's consort for over half a century.  He is her next
of kin.  If it wasn't for Spike and that "filthy bag" as you put it,
Buffy's remains would be lost to us forever."

"If it wasn't for Spike," came back Dawn's bitter reply, "she
wouldn't have fallen into the Hellmouth to begin with.  If she
hadn't insisted on kissing him goodbye, then she would have been
away from the edge when the earthquake struck."

"So now the earthquake is Spike's fault?" Angel asked incredulously.
"Do I have to remind you that he insisted that Buffy pick him as the
sacrifice to protect you?  Tell me Dawn, do you care about anybody
but yourself?"

There were shouted protests from Giles, Willow and Xander.  Anya and
Faith remained silent.  In truth, Faith was having just a bit of
trouble not smacking the whiny little sniveler.  She hadn't much
cared for Dawn when she was a little girl and she cared for her even
less now.  Faith was glad the Hellmouth was closed.  It meant that
she wasn't needed here to guard it and could go to another town away
from these sanctimonious Scoobies.  

Angel ignored them and turning to Faith said, "Spike needs new
boots.  I was going to go buy them, but he wants me to stay here. 
Would you go instead?"

"Sure, Angel, just tell me the size and what kind and I'll break
into a store and bring them right back."

"Uh, Faith, I was thinking more of buying them," Angel answered,
having a hard time not laughing at reformed Faith's causal unconcern
at the idea of breaking and entering.

We could leave the money I suppose," Faith shrugged, "but if you're
thinking of me just going to a store in the mall and buying
something, well, pretty much everyone's skipped town.  Doubt we'll
find any open stores."

"Oh, yeah.  Guess I did forget about that.  Okay, just leave the
money."  Handing Faith a slip of paper and some cash, Angel told
her, "Here's the size and style he wants.  Also swing by the demon
hairdresser's on Oakmont Street and see if she's still there.  Spike
needs a haircut and I think he wants to bleach it again.  If she's
open, make an appointment for him for tomorrow after sunset."

Snapping off a mock salute, Faith sauntered out of the house
followed by Andrew.  Turning, she raised an inquiring eyebrow at the
boy.  "I was wondering if I could come with you," Andrew asked
diffidently.  "Tensions are pretty high in there and I'm really
tired of tension."

"Sure, kid, come on," Faith answered and turning led the way down to
the sidewalk.

"So do you think Spike is going to stay in Sunnydale?" Andrew asked
as he hustled along beside the swiftly walking Slayer.

Faith shrugged, "Don't know why he would.  The only thing that was
holding him here was Buffy and she's gone now.  Why?"

"Well, I like Xander okay; the others not so much.  But Spike's
always been real nice to me, except for that time he bit me.  That
wasn't his fault, though," Andrew hastened to clarify.  "He was
being controlled by The First at the time, and he apologized to me
later."

Andrew was quiet for a minute and then added, "Do you know that he's
the only one that's ever apologized for doing something to me?"

"Look, Andrew, if this is about that damned Hot Pocket," Faith
started.  

"No, no.  I mean you shouldn't have taken it because it was mine,
but no, what I meant was he's always been real nice to me, even 
with being a vampire and all.  Said he understood how it was to be
controlled by The First and that all I could do was try and be good
now.  Not let The First use me anymore."  Andrew looked down to the
sidewalk as they walked along.  "Everyone else just tolerated me,
never let me forget I'd killed my best friend.  But Spike
understood."

"Yeah, well kid, it takes a killer to understand another one I
guess," Faith answered drily.  

"Is that why Angel was able to help you to reform?" Andrew asked
seriously.

Faith nodded.  "Probably.  He believed I could be saved long before
anyone else did.  In fact I think he was the only one that believed
it, although to give her credit, Buffy did try.  Wesley fucked that
up."  Faith shrugged, "Now he's my friend too, and he believes in
me.  Helps to have people around you who believe you can change and
be better than you were."

Andrew took this all in and then asked, "Are you staying in
Sunndydale?"

Faith laughed, "Fuck no.  I'm leaving here just as soon as I can.  
I think I'm going to go back to LA.  Angel can always use more 
help with everything that happens there.  If I hear about another
Hellmouth opening somewhere else, then I'll probably go there.  
But in the meantime, yeah, think I'll go to LA."

"Maybe we all should," Andrew said.  "I mean you, me and Spike."

"You?" Faith snorted.  "What the fuck would you do in LA?  I don't
think there's much call for knowing-everything-there-is-to-know
about Star Trek in demon fighting."  

Andrew drew himself up to his full height and said proudly, "I'm a
demon summoner.  I can call and control demons.  I'm not useless."

Faith looked at him in surprise.  "Is that why Giles told you to
take your Pan flute with you on that mission with Spike?  I wondered
what was up with that."

"Yes.  So I could control any demons we ran into." Shrugging he
added shyly, "I'm pretty good.  I really could be of use to you
guys.  I was going to turn myself in for Jonathan's murder, but who
would I turn myself in to?"  He waived a hand around the totally
deserted streets.  "Even the police have left town.  Besides, I
think my redemption would have more meaning if I did something to
help save others' lives rather than just sit in prison."  Then
remembering that Faith had just spent several years just sitting 
in prison he added hastily, "Not that there's anything wrong with
that."

Faith just snorted, "No, you're right, kid.  I didn't really
accomplish a lot by sitting in prison except that it gave me time 
to really face myself and what I'd done with my life.  Gave me
perspective, you know?  Now I don't plan on going back, and Giles
said he thinks he can muster up what little power the remaining
Watchers have to get me a Presidential pardon.  We'll see."

"Wow, a Presidential pardon.  That's so cool."  Andrew was clearly
impressed.

"Yeah, well, don't count on it and don't say anything to the others.
Till then, I'm still a fugitive, and being with me could get you in
trouble.  You still want to tag along?"

Andrew nodded.  "I'm going to talk to Spike when he feels better. 
If he wants to go to LA and doesn't mind me coming along then I'll
come.  If not, well then I'll find someplace else to do my good
deeds and seek my redemption."

At this dramatic pronouncement, Faith just rolled her eyes and
picked up her speed forcing Andrew to jog to keep up and effectively
shutting him up. 

Chapter 10

Faith and Andrew finished their errands.  To her surprise, the demon
hairdresser had not left town.  She had been frightened to see a
Slayer come into her shop, but when Faith explained what she wanted
the beautician had relaxed.  "My old ma is too sickly to move
anywhere, so I decided to stay," the demoness was telling them over
coffee.  "I've lived in Sunnydale my whole life and since that
blonde Slayer arrived we've had six or seven apocalypses brewing but
she always stopped them, so I figured she'd stop this one too.  You
really have to admire her, you know?"

Faith and Andrew both looked surprised.  "What?  You think because
I'm a demon I want the world to end?" the hairdresser, whose name
was Carla, asked.  "Listen I like it here.  My ma and pa told me
stories of the old world, and I really don't want to go there or
anyplace like it.  I have a good business here and a nice life." 
She shook her head in exasperation.  "Honestly, you humans are so
prejudiced.  You think just because someone's a demon that they're
evil.  We're not all evil, you know."  Leaning forward she added
sotto voce, "I heard on the grapevine that that blonde Slayer was
involved with a vampire.  And that one of her best friends was a
vengeance demon and that another of her friends was a loose-skinned
demon named Clem."  Sitting back in satisfaction she continued,
"See, she doesn't automatically believe all demons are evil and want
the world to end."

"Hey," Faith protested, "I'll have you know that my best friend 
is a vampire and I have another friend in LA who's a demon and 
I'm working on building a friendship with the vampire I made the
appointment for.  So, yeah I know that not all demons are evil.  
But ya gotta admit, most of them are."

Clara sighed and said, "Yeah, I guess so.  And that really makes it
rough on those of us who aren't.  I mean if you had just come in
here without wanting to make an appointment for your vampire friend,
the first thing you would have done is slay me. Am I right?"

Faith had to admit that she was indeed right.  After that, the
conversation became strained so they left and returned to the
Summers' house.  Xander and Anya had left and taken the Potentials
with them.  Since the crisis was over, there was no need for them
all to be together and it freed up room in the house for those who
remained.  Dawn had gone (flounced) off to bed when Angel wouldn't
discuss the subject of Buffy's remains anymore, and Willow and
Kennedy had retired shortly thereafter.

Giles and Angel were sitting together in the living room in an
uncomfortable silence when Faith and Andrew returned.  For some
reason Faith felt the need to check on Spike, make sure he was okay,
so she left Andrew to give the skinny on their night's adventures to
Angel and Giles.  Opening the basement door, Faith quietly descended
the stairs and stopped in concern when she noticed that the bed was
empty.

"Spike," she called out.  "Spike, you down here?"  Stepping further
into the basement, she noticed a bundle on the floor and realized
that it was Spike, curled up under a blanket on the hard cement. 
Going to him, she placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him
gently.  "Hey, Spike?  You okay?  How come you're on the floor?"

To her surprise, Spike jumped up in full game face, growling and
going into a defensive stance.  Faith crab-walked backwards
hurriedly crying out, "Spike, it's Faith.  It's okay.  I'm not 
going to hurt you."

It took a few seconds, but sanity returned to Spike's features and
he shook off his game face.  "Faith?"  

"Yeah, Spike, it's Faith.  You with me now?"

Lifting a shaking hand to his face, Spike rubbed it, sighed and
said, "Don't wake me up like that again, Pet.  It's too dangerous. 
I've lived in fear and danger for too long to be wakened like that,
okay?"

Faith stood up.  "I'm sorry, Spike, I wasn't thinking.  Were there
monsters there?"

Spike bent over and picked up the ossuary that had been tossed aside
when he had jerked awake.  "Yeah, sometimes.  There were some
nomadic tribes of demons, not very intelligent, thank God, that made
sweeps of the valley.  While Buffy was still young we had no trouble
holding them off, but later it was harder and then when it was just
me, well, I never knew when my next battle with them would be my
last."  Spike laughed humorlessly.  "You learn not to sleep too
deeply in a situation like that.  Proves how happy I am to be home,
cause I was dead to the world there."  A smirk.  "Literally."

Faith felt like crap for waking him.  "I'm really sorry I woke you,
Spike, but when I saw you weren't on the cot I thought something was
wrong."

"Oh."  Spike looked over at the cot and shrugged again.  "It's too
soft; couldn't get comfortable.  Used to the ground."

Faith felt stupid.  How many times had she seen that in the movies? 
People who had lived rough took awhile to get used to the luxuries
of modern life again.  Including soft beds.

To cover up her discomfort she said, "Look, Spike, I got you some
new boots.  Hope you like them."  Bending down she picked up the
shopping bag from where she had thrown it when Spike had vamped out.

"Thanks," Spike told her gratefully.  Sitting down on the cot, he
opened the shoebox and took the boots out.  They very much resembled
his old pair and Spike began to unbuckle them so that he would try
them on.  Faith sat down next to him saying, "I hope they fit okay. 
They're the size Angel said to get."

Spike began to feel uncomfortable with the young Slayer so close to
him.  Bending down he pulled the boots on and after refastening
them, walked around a bit.  "Yeah, they're fine, Faith, thanks."

Faith stood up and going over to the vampire placed a warm hand on
his arm.  "Look, Spike, you need anything you just let me know,
okay?"

Spike jerked back from her saying, "No, Faith, I can't."

Faith looked at him in confusion for a moment and then her face
cleared.  "No, Spike, you got it wrong; that's not what I meant.  
I just want to be your friend, not anything else.  Okay?"

Spike looked into her face and then a look of embarrassment came
over his features.  "Sorry," he muttered, "got my signals crossed." 
Grinning shyly he added, "Been out of the game for a long time. 
Don't know when a bird's hitting on me and when she's just being
friendly."

Faith relaxed and said, "Hey, other circumstances, you woulda been
right."  Then giving him a saucy wink, she left the basement.  Spike
smiled up after her retreating form.  Between her and Angel, he felt
as if he had the beginnings of something he had only found with Buffy.  
Real friendship.

***

Spike had gotten back to sleep with surprising ease after Faith had
left the basement and didn't awaken again until after dark the next
night.  Angel or Faith had come down to check on him periodically,
but upon finding him still asleep curled up on the floor, they had
left him to his rest.  Dawn had sullenly accepted the fact that
Spike was not to be disturbed.  She had sneaked down once, but upon
seeing Spike snuggled up with the bag containing Buffy's bones had
hurried back upstairs.  That thing really creeped her out, and she
wanted to have the funeral as quickly as possible.

When Spike finally came upstairs, Angel insisted he eat before
anything else was done.  Spike was again surprised by Angel's care
and protective attitude, but he was grateful for it, nonetheless. 
His memories were almost completely restored, but he still felt
uncomfortable around the humans.  Tonight, thankfully, the
Potentials were missing so that only the core group, plus Faith,
Kennedy and Andrew were there.  

When they rejoined the others in the living room, Spike walked over
to Dawn and attempted to hand the ossuary bag to her.  She flinched
back with a disgusted look on her face.  

Spike tilted his head as he contemplated the girl.  "I thought this
was what you wanted, Dawn.  I thought you wanted me to give her over
to you."

"I want her buried, Spike," Dawn answered tightly.  "I don't want to
touch that thing."

Spike's eyes went cold and flat at her tone.  Once again drawing the
bag close to his body, he nodded.  "All right, Dawn.  I'll hold her
until we decide where to bury her."

Dawn lifted her chin and declared, "I think it's *my* decision where
she's buried.  I'm her sister."

Spike lifted one eyebrow.  "I was her husband for over half a
century, Dawn," Spike commented.  "I think I should have a say in
the matter too."

Dawn jumped up, hands clenched into fists.  "You weren't her
husband!  You may have lived with her, but you weren't married to
her.  I'm her next of kin, not you!"

Dawn ignored the shocked looks on everyone's face at her outburst. 
She had loved Spike at one time, but he had stood between her and
her sister for too long.  When Buffy had been resurrected, Dawn had
been so happy, but Buffy had been distant and ignored her.  And then
Dawn found out that Buffy had been with Spike the whole time.  And
then Spike had almost raped Buffy, which just served her right for
screwing a vampire to begin with, and he had gone away and Buffy had
been there for Dawn at last.  But he had returned and all of Buffy's
attention had once again returned to Spike; helping him, saving him,
depending on him, trusting him more than her friends, or her
Watcher, or even her sister.  Spike, Spike, Spike!  Well, *she* was
Buffy's sister.  Her closest relative.  Now *she* would decide what
to do with Buffy's remains.

Spike stared in surprise at Dawn's outburst and in a flash of
intuition, understanding came to him.  She was acting this way
because of her insecurity at being a construct, a glowing ball of
energy given form and thrust upon Buffy without her knowledge or
consent.  She was afraid that Buffy had never really loved her, and
she was jealous of Buffy's love for Spike.  But Buffy had truly
loved Dawn.  Stepping forward, Spike reached out a hand to the girl,
but she jerked back and Spike dropped his hand and stepped back
again.

Sighing, he said, "So where do you want to bury her, Dawn?"  

Dawn was silent.  She had been so prepared to fight for her right to
decide the burial spot that she had neglected to actually make the
decision as to where she wanted her buried.  Thinking quickly she
said, "Well, there's her old grave.  We should just rebury her where
she was."

"No."

"What?"  Now Dawn was angry again.  "That's where I want her buried,
Spike.  In her old grave."

"No."

"Why not?  Why shouldn't we rebury her there?" Dawn shouted at
Spike, nearly hysterical in her determination to have her own way.

"Because that's where she woke up alone and frightened.  That's
where she had to dig herself out, punch her way out of her own
coffin.  I won't have her put back in there."

Dawn stared in horror at Spike's words.  Oh God, how could she have
forgotten that?  Of course that was the worse possible place to put
Buffy.  Collapsing back onto the couch, Dawn buried her face in her
hands and started to sob, only to find herself pulled against a
solid chest, enfolded in strong arms.  Clasping his shirt in both
hands, she cried out her grief and anger.

Pulling back and hiccuping the last of her sobs, she looked up into
Spike's concerned face.  "I'm sorry, Spike.  It's just, I've lost
her again.  Oh Spike, I've lost her again."  The tears returned, and
again Spike gathered her to him, rocking her gently and smoothing
her hair.  "I know, sweetheart.  I know."

The others watched in silence as the two people Buffy loved best
reconciled.

When Dawn's tears at last ceased, she asked Spike, "So where do you
think we should bury her?"

"I think we should bury her with your mum," he answered softly.

Dawn looked at him in surprise, knowing that this was the perfect
place for Buffy to finally rest.  Nodding her agreement, the
decision was made. 

Chapter 11

It was decided that the burial would take place the next night. 
Spike and Angel left the house, and after Spike's appointment with
the hairdresser, broke into Sunnydale Mortuary, from which they took
a beautiful little infant's casket to use for Buffy's bones.  Angel
didn't have enough cash on him to pay for it, but determined to send
it anonymously once he had returned to Los Angeles.  

Spike spent the last remaining hours he had with her in seclusion in
the basement.  No one disturbed him.

When night came, he left the basement and he and Angel placed the
fragile bones into the casket.  They then loaded it into the back of
Buffy's SUV and headed to the cemetery with a small entourage of
vehicles following.  Once at Joyce's grave, the two vampires
carefully cut away the sod covering it and began to dig into the
soil.  When they reached Joyce's coffin, they climbed out of the
hole and then slowly lowered the tiny casket into the grave.

Candles were lit and each person said a few words.  Then first Dawn
and then Spike and then the others threw a handful of dirt onto the
top of the small coffin, and while everyone else returned to the
cars, Spike and Angel filled in the grave and refitted its sod
covering.

Back at the house, the wake was somber with Angel, Faith and Andrew
hovering around Spike, offering him their comfort, while everyone
else gathered around Dawn.  Spike knew that his time in Sunnydale
had finally come to an end.  He had never really been a part of the
group, even when he had cared for Dawn two summers ago.  She didn't
need him now, and the others didn't want him.  He would need to find
another place for himself.

"I'll be returning to Los Angeles tomorrow night," Angel was saying.
Spike looked up at him and nodded.  Of course Angel couldn't stay
here any longer.  He had only stayed this long to attend Buffy's
funeral.  Spike returned to brooding over where he would go when he
heard, "You're welcome to come with me, Spike."

Spike looked at Angel in surprise.  "You want me to come to LA?"

"If you want." Angel glanced over at the other camp.  "I don't think
either one of us will be missed once we're gone."

Spike snorted, "Too right there, mate.  Most of them have been
longing for my dusty demise since they met me."

Angel chuckled at that.  "Well you were trying to kill them most of
the time back then, so you can't really blame them."

Spike smirked in acknowledgement.  He didn't bother mentioning that
he hadn't been trying to kill them for the past several years.  Had,
in fact, saved all of their lives at one time or another.  It really
didn't matter anymore.  Buffy was gone.  

Angel wandered over to tell Giles their plans for leaving and Spike
couldn't help but notice the look of relief on Giles' face.  Before
he could allow the bitterness to surface, he felt a light touch on
his arm.  Looking over he saw that Andrew was standing beside him,
fidgeting a bit as if someone had poured itching powder down his
shirt.  Spike raised an eyebrow at him and Andrew nervously cleared
his throat.

"Um, I overheard Angel say you guys were returning to LA tomorrow."

"Yeah, guess we are."

"I, I was wondering if I could go to LA too."

Spike shrugged and answered, "It's a free country.  Suppose you can
go anywhere you want."

"No, I mean can I come with you guys?  You know, join your team?"

Spike looked into Andrew's eager, anxious face and said, "I don't
have a team, Andrew.  I just have me."

"But we could be a team.  You with your vampire strength and me with
my demon summoning.  We made a great team when we went to Gilroy."

Spike smiled at the boy.  "Yes, we did.  But I'm not sure just what
I'm going to do in LA, so I don't know why I would need a team to do
it."

"You're going to fight the forces of evil just like you did here,"
Andrew insisted.  "You're going to seek redemption, and I want to
seek redemption, so we can seek redemption together."

"Is that right?" Spike asked amused.  "You think I'm all about
seeking redemption for my evil deeds, is that it?"

Andrew nodded with assurance.  "You know you are, Spike.  You've
been doing your best to be good since you came back with your soul. 
Now you, me and Faith can be a team and seek redemption and help
Angel and his team fight the powers of darkness."

Spike was surprised by this last pronouncement.  "You, me and
Faith?" he asked.  "How did Faith get into the mix?  She's the only
Slayer now.  She's staying here in Sunnydale, isn't she?"

Andrew shook his head furiously.  "Nuh uh.  She told me she can't
wait to leave Sunnydale.  So see, we could be a team."

Spike sighed.  He really wasn't sure what he wanted to do.  And he
certainly wasn't sure he wanted to be stuck with Andrew for all
eternity.  Or a month.  Or even a week.  But he looked into that
eager, hopeful face and didn't have the heart to tell him no.

"So what does Faith think about this idea of we three being
comrades-in-arms?" Spike inquired.

More bouncing excitement as Andrew exclaimed, "She's all for it.  
I told her about my powers and she was impressed."

Spike glanced over to where Faith was talking to Amanda and caught
the wicked gleam in her eye.  He raised one eyebrow to her in
question and she just shrugged.  So, Faith really didn't have a
problem with Andrew tagging along.

Turning back to Andrew, Spike said, "If you want to come along, I
won't stop you.  But I can't promise there'll be any "team".  Let's
just see what happens once we get to LA, all right?"

Andrew almost squealed in happiness, clasped Spike around the
shoulders in a tight hug and scampered off to pack his belongings. 
Spike rolled his eyes and hoped he hadn't just made a big mistake.

"What was that all about?" Angel asked, returning to Spike's side. 
Spike sighed, rolled his eyes again and said, "Looks like I just
adopted the boy.  He wants to come to LA with me and join me in, how
did he put it?  Oh yeah, seeking our redemption."

Angel looked towards where Andrew had disappeared.  "He can come
if you want him to, Spike, but he's your responsibility."

Spike groaned, but then chuckled and said, "He's a good lad, just
immature and a dreamer."  Glancing over he saw that Faith was now
talking to Giles, and this time Giles did not look nearly so pleased
with the conversation.

"Did you know that that one wanted to come with us too?" Spike asked
Angel, nodding in Faith's direction.

"She told me yesterday that she wanted to leave Sunnydale when I
did.  Don't blame her; the Hellmouth's closed and she doesn't fit in
here any better than you or I."

"So, there'll be four lost souls on the highway of life tomorrow, is
that it?" Spike remarked.  At Angel's confused look, Spike grabbed
him by the lapels, looked directly into his eyes and said, "The
first thing I'm going to do once we get to Los Angeles is rent every
movie ever made for the last one-hundred years and make you watch
them."

"Hey, I watch movies," Angel exclaimed.  Spike just walked away from
him and poured himself a glass of Scotch.  The man really did know
fuck-all about pop culture.  But Spike would fix that.  They were
immortal, barring dusting and apocalypse, so he had all the time in
the world to infuse Angel with a little personality.

Might be fun.


The End