Subject: [OTL]: [Kai] Long Ago and Far Away (PG) Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2000 13:41:52 -0700 From: "Shaianne K. PeriHawk" Disclaimer: The mutant concept belongs to Marvel. KI5 and Three Eyes belong to Kaylee. Nyoka and Gwen belong to me. Please be respectful of that ownership. To Kaylee, a belated birthday. Long Ago and Far Away By Shai PeriHawk The last part of checking on KI5's health was checking her pupils for normal dilation. Nyoka hated that part, more than she hated noting the healing rate of the five bullet wounds across KI5's abdomen. She hated seeing the utter * emptiness* in those red-brown eyes that had once been so warm. They reminded Nyoka of her daughter's favorite teddy bear and its cold glass eyes. Pupil reactions normal. Nyoka marked the paper on her clipboard. "KI5, return to storage." KI5's eyes remained expressionless as she turned and walked into her closet until the next time she was needed. Nyoka fed the health report into the wall slot and left the room. There was a women's rest room exactly 73 steps from KI5's storage area. Nyoka counted each one, inhaling with the odd numbers, exhaling on the even. She sat on a toilet and put her head between her legs, fighting back the nausea. She consciously slowed her breathing to a normal rate. What had she become? When her stomach settled, she stood and washed her face. She went back to assessing the health of the subjects. ~*~ At night, she dreamed. She dreamed of the early days of the project, when the subjects still had enough of their minds to beg for help that would never come. Slowly, those cries faded to silence as she walked endlessly up and down the hall of one-way mirrors, observing their slow decline into mindlessness. One day at a time, she watched the light fade from their eyes. Subject 5 held out much longer than the rest. The strength just made the fall harder. Before that, a * long* time ago, the reels they'd shown her about the subjects' history. Agonized screams filled her head as her steps echoed through the hall of mirrors. Her own voice rose above the others and she fell to her knees. The hall stretched into a circle around her, so she could see them all at once. She watched as the symbiotes took their bodies. The images she'd only seen in the reels haunted her, left her cold, even in her dreams. She didn't remember this many, so many people dying. It started with the unbearable burning beneath their skin. Blood colored their broken fingernails as they tried to scratch it away. Then their bodies started to try to reshape, into a form that no one could identify. Skin changed colors, but no two subjects turned the same color. Limbs lengthened, and shortened, but even from one arm to the other the changes were not the same. Before their faces started to change, several of the subjects had bitten * through* their own lips. They all reached to her for help, for some relief from the pain. All except for subject 5. The dark-haired little girl curled up in the corner, staring straight ahead, not even aware of the overwhelming cold that made her body shiver. She longed to give them painkillers, euthanization, anything to stop their screams. Yet she dared not even reach out a comforting hand. So she watched them change until their bodies could no longer keep up, and one by one, they died. She shook her head against the images. "I wasn't * there*!" she shouted to the dream demons, but it didn't matter. She didn't help when she * could.* The lives of those who didn't make it through the "conditioning" still weighed her down. "Mama?" The gentle voice pleaded with her. She couldn't turn to it, couldn 't help. "Mama, wake up." She woke suddenly, gasping for air. "Mama? I had a nightmare." Nyoka wiped her eyes and tucked a braid behind her ear. "C'mere baby." She held out her arms to her daughter. "Now tell Mama what's wrong." Six-year-old Gwen leapt into her Mama's lap, careful to keep her claws sheathed. "Mama, why don't I look like you?" The girl weighed little more than a breath, her ultra light bone-structure made Gwen like a feather in her lap. "Aw, baby," Nyoka rested her cheek on her daughter's silky hair. "What makes you ask?" She knew this day would come, but so soon? She looked down at her only child. She loved everything about her, from the retractable claws in her fingers and toes, to the flawlessly smooth lilac skin, to the incredibly soft amethyst colored hair. Her little girl smell was slightly hinted with lavender, making her even more blossom-like. "Tad Proctor called me Flower Head today. He said I was a freak. And you have skin like chocolate, and all the pictures of Daddy have white skin, like Mrs. Niles." She held out her light purple colored arm. "Am I really a freak, Mama?" Tears shined in the girl's luminous purple eyes. Nyoka hugged her child fiercely. "Oh, baby, you are * not* a freak. You * are* different, but the color of your skin is not who you are. It's what's * inside* that counts most of all." Gwen pressed her nose into her mother's chest. "I love you, Mama." Nyoka fought back tears and stroked Gwen's petal-soft cheek. "I love you too, baby." ~*~ Gwen was the only reason she stayed. When her husband had died, a mere two months after Gwen was born, the man she'd only known as her husbands coworker approached her. He explained that he worked for an organization that could use her skills. She was an expert in applied gene therapy, on a population that lacked western medicine, they wanted her to give up her practice in South Africa and work for them. The bodies of those being conditioned were subjected to a lot before the experiments ever started. She'd refused, repeatedly. Until they kidnapped Gwen. Nyoka's adamant refusal died away immediately. She joined the project. Gwen was the reason she had to get out. Gwen's nightmares were getting worse along with her own. She had to find a way out. For both their sakes. She walked into KI5's storage area and ordered the subject out of storage. Nyoka paused, and realized that she didn't think of KI5 as a person, didn't even give KI5 the dignity of a personal pronoun. Not once did she think of KI5 as a "her." She really was a handsome woman. Strong jaw, thick brown/black hair, and the symbiote gave her an edge in getting her body into prime condition. Just like Three Eyes wanted. She truly was "the perfect soldier." Strong, fast, nearly invulnerable, a drone. So unlike the soft, flower-like Gwen. Nyoka couldn't help but think about Gwen's problems at school. She looked different from the other children, so she was treated differently. It made Gwen unhappy. But the girl had one friend who barely noticed the little girl's skin, who protected her from all the bullies. She had one good friend. Nyoka stared down at the series of syringes in her hands. They were a series of specially formulated drugs to keep KI5 in top condition, and nutrients to "feed" her. Just that morning, Gwen had tried to make pancakes for Mama's breakfast in bed. That she hadn't set the kitchen on fire was the * only* saving grace. KI5 lived as a fine-tuned machine, without even human conversation. Nevermind a home cooked meal. She deserved more. She was still a living being, deserving of love and friendship. Just like little Gwen. Nyoka looked around, her stomach convulsing. They didn't keep more than one camera in this room. Everyone needed one good friend. She leaned down to give KI5 her injections. "Once there was a purple girl, who lived in a purple world. She had a mother who loved her very much. So much that the purple girl's mother would do * anything* to protect her." She told her story in a very low voice, too low for the camera to pick up, too low for most people to hear, but KI5 had super-enhanced hearing. Tomorrow, she'd tell KI5 about a pretty little auburn-haired girl. ~End~