Subject: [southernstarsfic] OT&UT: The AusCon fic 4/4
Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2003 19:53:16 +1000
From: "Amanda Sichter" <wolf@hawknet.com.au>

Part 4/4

Magneto was having a quiet day, pottering about the house (even
supervillains with world domination complexes need some down time), when
the summons came unexpectedly.

~Erik!~ Charles' voice in his head was desperate and utterly unexpected.

~Charles?~ he responded, instinctively aware this wasn't an attack.

~Erik, I need your help. You have to come to the Mansion. Now!~ The voice
winked out, leaving Magneto with an impression of fear and raging
exhaustion.

There was nothing else to do but to go. He and Charles may have been mortal
enemies at the moment, but he couldn't leave his old friend in the hands of
whatever had driven him to this extremity. He would have to rescue him.

Magneto went for the helmet.

*    *    *    *    *

Bounce had finally managed to get Storm to leave her to wander. It wasn't
that Ororo wasn't wonderful and lovely and all of those things (and an
X-Man to boot) but Bounce definitely needed some time alone to sort her
head out.

She was a mutant.

A powerful mutant.

With the mutant power of apology.

She was trying to work out whether it was the lamest power in this universe
or really cool when she became aware of the shadow. She had wandered far
from the Mansion and was near the edges of the extensive lawns when the
darkness fell across them. For a moment she thought it was a cloud, until
she looked up and saw what caused it.

'Oh, shit,' she said.

Apocalypse made a crashing thud when he landed and Bounce bounced on the
turf, which rose and fell like a wave.

'Erm,' said Bounce.

'You,' roared Apocalypse, 'are not of the strong.'

'I'm not?' said Bounce.

'You are not, puny human,' said Apocalypse.

'Actually...'

'Does Xavier think I do not know that he infests his house with weaklings?'
He leaned down, bringing his colossal face so close to Bounce that she
nearly fell over when he breathed on her. 'You pollute us with your
weakness, human.'

'I know,' said Bounce. 'I'm sorry.'

It was probably the most unexpected attack in the history of human-mutant
relations (though technically it was more mutant-mutant - or maybe
mutant-demigod - whatever). Apocalypse let out an 'whoof' and fell over
backwards without even having time to bend in the middle, letting out an
almighty crash when he hit the ground.

He raised his head to see an anxious blonde teenager looking down at him.
'Oh shit,' said Bounce. 'I'm really sorry.'

Apocalypse's head made a gouge in the ground as it snapped backwards.

'Really sorry,' repeated Bounce. 'Oh, shit, I'm so sorry,' she continued as
Apocalypse was slowly driven into the turf by the force of her power.

'Stop!' cried Apocalypse and Bounce shrank backwards as he slowly levered
himself out of the hole in the ground. He rose above her, wincing and
clutching at his shoulder.

'I'm really -,' started Bounce.

'You,' roared Apocalypse, intimidating Bounce into silence, 'are of the
strong.'

'I know,' said Bounce. 'I'm really sorry.'

This time, when Apocalypse got up, he flew out as fast as he could.

'That,' said Storm and Phoenix from behind Bounce, 'was really impressive.'

Bounce turned. 'You were watching?' she said and when they nodded she
blushed crimson. 'I'm not really of the strong.'

'You aren't?' asked Jean amused. 'You chased off Apocalypse. I think that's
fairly strong.'

'And you may have the chance to prove yourself again,' added Storm as, with
a flourish of cape, Magneto landed before them. The two women moved apart,
setting themselves for battle but Magneto was simply looking at them in
surprise.

'Magneto?' asked Jean. 'You have a problem?'

'Charles!' he said.

There was a short silence finally broken by Jean. 'You have a problem with
the Professor?' she asked.

'He called me,' said Magneto. 'He said he needed my help. Where is he? What
is the problem?'

'Ah,' said Jean and smiled suddenly. 'Oh yes. Actually, he probably does
need your help. He's in the study.' She pointed at the appropriate window
and Magneto flew towards it. 'Did you notice,' she said as she watched him
fly, 'that I didn't say thing once.'

'I'm impressed,' said Storm.

Jean's smile broadened. 'Dude,' she said, then laughed.

*    *    *    *    *

Magneto levered the bay windows open easily with his power, so swiftly he
didn't even have to land. He swirled into the study, magnetism gathered
around him, ready to save Charles from whoever was attacking him.

He was more than a little surprised to find Charles sitting behind his
desk, a dark-haired bespectacled girl the only other occupant.

'Charles?' he asked.

'Magneto!' breathed the girl and her eyes lit up.

'Erik!' said Charles. 'Thank god you're here. This is Andraste. Andraste, I
believe you are interested in Magneto.' He blushed suddenly. 'Whatever you
do, don't take your helmet off,' he instructed Magneto.

'Why?' asked Erik, thoroughly confused.

'Because you really don't want me inadvertently putting some of Andraste's
images into your mind,' said Charles in a way that indicated the absolute
finality of his point on the topic.

'I believed you to be under attack, Charles,' said Magneto, rather
tetchily. 'Why am I here, if you do not require my help?'

'I think you should ask Andraste that,' said Charles.

Fifteen minutes later, he thought he could get away with it. Andraste was
in the middle of arguing with Erik about his treatment of the Genoshans and
her attention was away from him. Ever so quietly, ever so slowly, Charles
inched his chair towards the door. He had nearly made it when his hopes
were dashed.

'Professor!' said Andraste sharply and he turned back. 'You can't go. I
need to ask some questions that concern both of you. Now,' her gaze pinned
him to his chair, 'when did you and Erik first become lovers?'

'What?' sputtered Magneto. 'I've *never* slept with Charles in my life.'

'Are you sure?' asked Andraste. 'Because there was that time in the kibbutz
 . .'

Charles sighed and rolled back into the room. He wasn't going to escape
just yet.

*    *    *    *    *

It had taken them a long time. There had been a lot of corridors and a lot
of stairs and very little capacity for walking upright. Particularly when
they kept refuelling with the beer.

It was worth it in the end.

Rossi's eyes went wide as she finally managed to stagger through the cellar
door. 'Phil,' she said excitedly and waved her hand at him until he found
her in the gloom. 'Look. Wine!'

He looked. 'Lots and lots and lots of wine,' he said admiringly.

They stumbled closer. 'It's in chrolo - chromo - logico - chronological
order,' Rossi managed eventually.

'Years and years and years of wine,' said Phil. 'Years and years,' he
added, in case Rossi had missed it the first time.

'I know,' she said. She looked at the many racks that stretched before her
into the gloom. She straightened up, squared her shoulders. 'I guess it's
time to get started then.'

The clinking of bottles continued long into the night.

*    *    *    *    *

'Eureka!' The voice that echoed across the intercom was very feminine and
very excited.

'I've always wanted to do that,' Dyce said, a little sheepishly as she
turned back to Henry.

He smiled. 'I understand the feeling, my dear,' he replied. He looked at
his watch. 'Now, do you think your salutation would have woken them? It is
- well, admittedly it is mid-morning, but there seems to be a certain
nocturnal element to the peregrinations of your fellow travellers.'

'They're probably not awake,' admitted Dyce and, turning back to the
intercom, let out several more whoops, until several responses were
recorded (what was actually said *won't* be recorded on the grounds of good
taste).

'Good morning, citizens of the X-Mansion,' said Henry. 'The delightful Dyce
and your ever-erudite bouncing Beast are pleased to announced the birth of
a baby portal - most specifically, one that leads directly home for our
antipodean guests.'

It was time for AusCon to go home.

*    *    *    *    *

'How are we going to get them back?' asked Bounce.

'Who?' asked Mel.

'Yasmin. And MouseCarcass. And Loki's Rose. And Diamonde.' She looked
around. 'And has anyone seen Amanda?'

'I can find Amanda,' said Seraph. 'Don't worry about that. I know where
Rossi and Phil are, too.'

'And Dia's with Cable,' put in Dyce. 'What?' she asked at the worried looks
around her. 'He was nearly Stryfe!' she protested.

'But the others went looking for the anime universe,' said Bounce, who had
somehow turned into the responsible one. 'We need a portal to get them
back.'

'Oh, we can do *that*,' said Dyce, with a certain devastating nonchalance.
'Beast and I can make a portal wherever we want.' She smiled at the
startled looks around her. 'We can even find them if you've lost them in
the other universe.' She buffed her nails against her chest with casual
disdain.

'Perhaps we should start collecting everyone then,' said Bounce.

*    *    *    *    *

'Rossi, why are your backpacks clinking?'

'No reason,' said Rossi, blinking in the light from the open door to the
cellar. She clutched her backpack to her tightly. 'We aren't taking any of
the Professor's wine home with us.'

''Cept what we've drunk,' added Phil. 'Lots and lots of that.'

Slowly, carefully, dragging their heavy and clinking backpacks not at all
suspiciously behind them, they ascended the stairs.

*    *    *    *    *

'Amanda.' Seraph tapped gently on the door. 'Are you there?'

There was a giggle followed by a sigh. 'Nearly,' was the response.

'Well, there's a portal. We can go home. It's time to leave,' said Seraph
hurriedly and fled.

*    *    *    *    *

'Look, I nearly had him wearing the cape,' sulked Diamonde. 'And I could
have talked him into the helmet. All I needed was a few more hours.'

'You know how he's a fearless warrior and brave and courageous?' asked
Dyce.

'Yeah.'

'You did see the way he was quaking in fear of you, didn't you?'

Dia grinned, just a little bit maliciously. 'I did,' she confirmed. 'It was
good, wasn't it? But I would have let him go eventually.'

There was a long pause.

'Well, once he'd worn the helmet anyway.'

*    *    *    *    *

'What have you done to your noses?!?' shrieked Mel as Yasmin, Loki's Rose
and MouseCarcass tumbled back into the Marvel Universe.

'WHAT ABOUT OUR NOSES?' screamed Yasmin, making Mel jump backwards. 'What
about our noses?' she repeated, consciously modulating her voice.

'Dude, they're gone,' gasped Mel. 'You don't have any noses. And your eyes
are huge. And why is your hair purple? And Loki's Rose's is blue. And pink.
What are we going to tell your parents? That your noses fell off at AusCon?
How do we explain a thing like that?'

'AAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH,' screamed MouseCarcass, who had adapted rather too
quickly to the conventions of the anime universe. She stopped herself
rapidly. 'They'll be fine,' she said in more normal conversational tones.
'I can explain away -,' she squinted upwards at her hairline, 'blue hair.'

'But the noses,' said Mel. 'And don't look at me like that,' she said to
Loki's Rose. 'I don't need the bambi eyes.'

'I'm not doing bambi eyes,' said Loki's Rose, puzzled. 'This is just
normal.'

Mel buried her head in her hands and moaned.

*    *    *    *    *

'Andraste, you have to let go of the door,' repeated Bounce patiently.

'C'mon, Andraste,' added Dyce. 'We have to go. You have to say goodbye to
Erik and Charles now.'

'No,' said Andraste stubbornly, her fingernails firmly embedded in the door
frame. 'There's so much still to ask them. I'm only up to 1989.'

'If I had to give up Cable, you have to give up the Prof,' said Dia, still
feeling somewhat surly about being dragged home.

'You did let them go to the bathroom, didn't you?' asked Bounce in sudden
horror.

'Of course,' said Andraste. 'I just talked to them through the door.'

Dyce began to laugh suddenly, so much so that she let go of Andraste's leg.
Allowed to recover her balance, Andraste let go of the door frame,
preparing to dodge inside the door and lock herself in the study with her
two companions.

'Bugger!' was all she said however, with real feeling.

'What?' asked Diamonde.

Andraste pointed at the bay window. Through them, and receding rapidly,
they could just see the figures of a flying man in a purple helmet pushing
a bald man in a flying wheelchair disappearing into the distance. In the
confusion, Xavier and Magneto had made good their escape.

'Oh well,' said Andraste. 'I guess it's time to go home then.'

*    *    *    *    *

'So do you have your visa, chere?' asked Gambit.

Seraph grinned at him and pulled a passport from her jeans pocket. She
opened it to show the US work visa that decorated it. 'Thank you,' she
said, her eyes shining.

'Dat's alright,' replied Gambit. 'I knew dat he'd come t'rough for you.'

'Are you alright?' asked Seraph. 'You look pale.'

'Jus' a little tired,' said Gambit, running a trembling hand through his
hair.

'It was a pleasure working with you,' said Henry to a blushing Dyce. 'Your
skills, your sharp wit, your beauty - this poor Beast shall miss you.'

Dyce blushed even harder and could barely answer.

'Remember,' Ororo told Bounce, 'that you are of the strong.'

'No I'm not,' protested Bounce.

Jean smiled. 'Apocalypse said so. And you defeated him, so I think his
opinion counts.'

'You're the hero of this story,' added Ororo. 'You don't need to be sorry
about that,' and she kissed Bounce softly on the cheek in farewell.

~Goodbye, Andraste,~ the voice said in her head.

~Professor!~ Andraste was astonished.

~It was very interesting meeting you. I shan't forget it. And Erik says
goodbye,~ said the Professor.

~Where are you? I've still got so many questions to ask you...~

~Not this visit,~ replied Xavier, very gently. ~Next time, maybe. I just -
need some sleep... ~ His mental voice trailed into silence.

'Mel,' said Bobby.

'Bobby,' said Mel.

'Dude,' they said simultaneously.

'I'm not gay,' said Bobby.

'I know,' grinned Mel. 'But it doesn't mean I can't write you that way.'

Logan didn't stoop to handshakes. But he grunted with a certain grudging
respect at Rossi and Phil.

'So,' said Amanda.

'So,' replied Remy and they both smiled, a curl of one corner of the mouth.
'It was more dan a pleasure, chere.'

'Wasn't it just?' she replied. 'If ever you're in my dimension...'

'I'll look for you,' replied Remy, and kissed her hand lightly.

'Now go get some sleep.'

'I t'ink it's time we all did dat...'

*    *    *    *    *

You can say this about a Brisbane Busways - when twelve people tumble out
of a luggage locker and land on the floor, nobody blinks an eye.

There was a sorting of limbs and baggage and gradually AusCon got back on
its feet.

'Hey,' said Mel. 'Yasmin's got her nose back.'

'And your hair is normal,' said Bounce to Loki's Rose.

'And I'm sober,' said Rossi, disgustedly.

'The wine,' said Phil and scrabbled for his backpack. He made a
disappointed noise as he realised that it had all disappeared.

'We mustn't be able to bring anything back from the other dimensions,' said
Dyce, who'd become rather au fait with inter-dimensional travel through her
research.

'Except for memories,' smiled Amanda, far too smugly.

Seraph, meanwhile, was frantically scrabbling through her pockets, but came
up empty. 'Shit,' she said. 'I knew it was way too easy getting a visa that
way.'

'Sorry, Seraph,' said Bounce.

Everyone ducked, but there wasn't even a whisper of force, let alone a
booming explosion that would take down half the Busways.

'I guess that means we're really home then,' said Dia.

'I think it's the same time of day, too,' said Seraph. She pointed at a guy
in a blue shirt. 'I remember him. I don't think we've been gone any time at
all.'

'Ah well, at least we got to visit the Marvel Universe.'

'Does anyone else think we need a drink?'

'Like you have no idea.'

AusCon gathered itself up and began to walk out of the Busways, heading for
the pub.

'At least I know what I can write for the AusCon story this year.'

'No-one will believe it.'

'The last one involved Magneto, Charles and piercings. Believability should
matter?'

'Guess not.'

'You know what you should call it?'

'What?'

'Occasional Tables and Unexpected Testicles.'

'But there weren't any of either of them.'

'Does it matter?'

'S'pose not.'

*    *    *    *    *

And that was the story.

The End

See guys. I told you I behaved by far the most disgracefully out of all of
us <g>.

Amanda
wolf@hawknet.com.au
"To live at all is miracle enough." Mervyn Peake