Subject: [OTL]: [Excalibur] Troy Fallen (1/1)
Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2003 17:16:10 EST
From: wanttakehave@aol.com


Title: Troy Fallen (1/1)
Author: Sobia Helen
Pairing: Kate (Kitty) Pryde/Rachel Summers. f/f slash.
Summary: Rachel and Kate have a talk before their last mission together.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Kate Pryde, Rachel Summers, and Excalibur are property of Marvel
Entertainment.
Note: You should know that Kate Pryde is the Kitty of an alternate future
timeline. On their last mission, Kate tricked Rachel into traveling back in time
to give her a better future.

         __________________________________________________


Rachel: We're trapped...
Kate: I am, anyway. I knew that from the start. Rachel, my love, this is
where we part company."
Rachel: "What're you talking about?! I won't let you!"
Kate: "Who said you had a choice?"

~Excalibur #50

~*~

Rachel couldn't remember the last time she was able to sleep peacefully,
without nightmares, and this night was no exception. She shifted restlessly on the
thin mattress that served as a bed, only half asleep, for a while before she
realized that she was the only one there. This discovery brought her to an
abrupt start, and she sat up in the mattress she shared with Kate, coming fully
awake in seconds.

Her first thought was that something bad had happened to Kate. The life they
now lived didn't allow room for optimistic thinking, and she felt a gripping
loss in the pit of her stomach even before she thought to look for Kate. The
room they shared was small, barely able to hold their belongings, and until
recently it had been occupied by more than just the two of them.

She slipped the covers off, and stood up to glance outside for Kate. There
was no sign of her in the vicinity, and she didn't hear the soft hum of Kate's
thoughts in her head. Now that they were the only two left of what had once
been a formidable mutant resistance movement started by the X-men, Kate had
thought it wise that they always keep their minds linked. And Rachel had gotten
used to having Kate's thoughts in her head. The lack of which at the moment made
her heart skip a beat. The only way to make sure was to track Kate's mutant
signature and just the thought of doing that made her shudder. But this was
important, and this tracking would be much different from the kind Ahab had
demanded of her. And if Kate was in trouble, this just might save her life.

She took a deep breath and waited till her nerves were calm, and then slowly
let her mind drift in the astral plane, searching for Kate.

~*~

She found Kate kneeling in the middle of what used to be the lobby of the
Xavier Institute when it was still standing. The place now was a wreck, none of
its previous valor had survived the fires. She stepped over the debris and
crossed over to Kate's side. If Kate heard her coming, she gave no indication of
it.

"You worried me," Rachel stated, her tone more relieved than accusing.

Kate didn't look up at her, "How did you find me?"

Rachel shrugged, "Your mutant signature."

Kate looked at her now, concerned, "I'm sorry."

"I'm all right," Rachel said. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to say goodbye," she replied.

Rachel nodded, looking around the place. It didn't hold any great
significance for her; the recollections she had of the mansion came more from the stories
she'd heard from Kate and Logan than from memory. But she understood that
these ruins had been home to Kate for a better part of her happier days.

The stories she had heard had painted a picture of an idyllic sanctuary, and
the wreckage around her didn't meet the picture she had built up in her head.

She returned her gaze to Kate, and asked the question better left unuttered,
"You don't think we'll come out of it alive, do you?"

Rachel didn't either, but she allowed herself this brief moment of delusion
this once. It wasn't something she did often, but it was the least she deserved
after everything.

"Not both of us," Kate replied, and Rachel wasn't sure she liked the sound of
that.

"What do you mean?"

This wasn't what she expected from Kate. Kate was the optimist, the one to
feed Rachel's delusions, never giving up until they had actually lost.

Their last mission had left them both defeated, and they were the only ones
left.  Everyone else —Storm, Logan, Franklin, and Piotr — had been murdered by
the Sentinels. This next effort, if failed, would certainly be their last.
And while Rachel didn't think this was a world worth living in, she was only
seventeen; she didn't want to die.

Kate reached out with her hand and interlaced her fingers through Rachel's,
"You'll be fine, Rachel. I won't let anything happen to you."

She realized that Kate had read her thoughts, and with that also noticed that
Kate was blocking her own. This disturbed her, but she allowed Kate this
moment of privacy and stayed out of her head. Rachel would never understand the
significance of this place for Kate, but she could guess.

"When the raids first started, I used to think that these walls would stand
forever. If there ever was a sanctuary for mutants, this place was it," Kate
said.

Rachel felt a chill ran down her spine, and the smallest fragment of a memory
came to her from a happier time.

Kate went on, "Of course, it didn't last. Even after the fall, I kept
thinking that that was as bad as things would get."

They both knew how bad things had exactly gotten since then. Rachel gently
tightened her grip on Kate's hand, not knowing what to say. She felt almost like
an intruder, and wondered if she should leave.

"Stay," Kate said. "I don't want you to leave."

"I know," Rachel replied. "But we should leave soon if you still want to
break into the Sentinel base."

"Just a few more minutes," Kate pleaded, and Rachel felt her heart sink. They
were planning on breaking into the Sentinel base and destroying it later
today. Rachel had no real delusions about this being an easy mission, and very
much suspected it to be a fatal one. She wondered if that was what compelled Kate
to embark on it.

Rachel was privy to all of Kate's thoughts now that she had linked their
minds, but Kate never said a word about their last mission. Her bond to those who
died had been older than Rachel was, and she could not help but feel the
tinniest bit of jealousy at that thought. She mourned the fallen X-men with Kate,
but the intensity of her own emotions could never measure up to Kate's loss.

She sat down besides Kate. "All right," she said.

Kate turned to her, her gaze surveying the ruins with a longing, "After
everything, I still feel safe here. Do you feel it?"

Rachel closed her eyes, trying to conjure up the picture of the mansion she
had gathered from Kate's memory. She nodded, "Yes." She opened her eyes again,
adding, "But I'm not deluding myself into thinking that we are safe. We should
leave soon if you haven't changed your mind."

Again, she held her breath, waiting for Kate's reply, wanting desperately for
Kate to give up on this doomed mission. Instead, Kate laughed softly and
leaned forward to kiss her briefly. Pulling back, she touched Rachel's cheek,
"You're too young to be so cynical, Rachel."

She smirked, laying her hand on top of Kate's, "Better cynical than
delusional."

Kate nodded, and stood up. She walked around the foyer, coming to a stop by
the stairs. She gestured upwards with her hand, "My room used to be right
there. And the Danger Room was right below where you're sitting."

Rachel nodded, standing up, "I remember the Danger Room." The Danger Room
made up a large part of the few memories she had of this place. She remembered
watching the X-men train from a window, and remembered sneaking into the room
with Illyana at night.

"It seems like lifetimes ago," Kate said.

"Yeah, it does," Rachel agreed.

Kate looked around once more, and then held out her hand to Rachel, "We can
leave now."

Rachel placed her hand in Kate's, "We still have some time…if you want to
stay."

Kate shook her head, "There's no use putting off the inevitable."

"We don't have to do this," she reminded Kate.

"Someone has to," she replied. "And…I'm tired of fighting. Of fighting and
failing. If this works out the way I planned, things will be better for us."

"If we get out of it alive."

Kate squeezed her hand, "You'll be all right, Rachel. I promise. Just trust me
…this one last time."

Rachel nodded, not failing to note that Kate believed this was going to be
their last mission. She started to ask her what she was planning, but Kate
placed her fingers on her lips, silencing her. "No more questions, Rachel. Please."

Again, Rachel nodded. Kate had often discouraged Rachel from joining them on
their more dangerous missions, and the fact that she insisted on having Rachel
come along this one time let Rachel know just how important this was to her.
She would go alone if Rachel didn't go with her. And if anything happened to
Kate, she would truly be alone and she shuddered at that thought. "All right,"
she said.

Kate looked visibly relaxed, "I have a good feeling about this mission."

Most of Rachel's apprehensions faded away at that. Knowing that Kate would
never risk her life willingly, Rachel smiled, not able to keep Kate's optimism
from affecting her. Still holding her hand, Rachel pulled her closer and kissed
her. She still had a bad feeling about the mission, but she was glad to see
that Kate was back to believing in impossible things. She had come to think
that she almost needed Kate's delusional fantasies and hopes for a better future
to balance her cynicism. This was the world she had been born into, and this
was all she knew. She would believe in a better world when she saw it.

Kate pulled away, and smirked at her. "Let me show you something," she said,
and Rachel felt Kate's mental barriers fall away as Kate's thoughts crept into
her head again. She sensed a disturbance in Kate's psyche, and noticed that
Kate was not holding anything back. Her mind was completely open to Rachel's
telekinetic probes. The significance of this was not lost on Rachel, and she
focused only on the parts Kate wanted her to focus on, not wanting to violate
Kate's trust in her. She closed her eyes, and let her mind observe Kate's
memories of a better world. She saw the mansion as it used to be, and this time, 
the picture exceeded her expectations. This was the world she wanted to live in,
and she felt Kate's longing for the past overwhelm her. And she thought that
maybe, just maybe, this wasn't the way things would always be for them.

--end--

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