Chapter Fourteen:       Back to Life, Back to Reality.

"Is it working yet?" Andrew asked eagerly.

"Keep your hair on," Warren snapped.  "A little more – yes!  Lights, camera, action."

"Not much in the way of action," Jonathan complained.  The monitor showed the lobby of Spike's apartment building.  At the moment it was completely deserted. Nothing was happening at all.

"That's the live feed.  It's Sunday morning, what do you expect?  Give me a minute, R2, and I'll find anything that moved during the night."  Warren scrolled across the screen.  "Okay, that's us leaving.  Now, what's this?  We have Spike on Camera Five."

"Look at the time, Warren, that was, like, only ten minutes after we left," Andrew said nervously.  "He nearly caught us."

"But he didn't.  We lucked out.  What was he doing coming back so early?  I thought we had till at least one in the morning.  I guess that Harris guy didn't lay on much of a wedding party."

"Is that it?  Spike coming in and getting in the elevator?  That's what we did all that work for?" Jonathon was not impressed.

"Okay, we're not going to get any hot porno action," Warren admitted, "but at least we'll be able to keep track of if he's in or out again.  I wasn't happy about not knowing where he is, not with the next stage coming up."

'There's always a next stage,' Jonathan thought worriedly.  'When's it all going to end?  Just what the Hell are we doing, anyway?'  He kept his thoughts to himself.

"Hey, hey, what have we here?" Warren chuckled.  "Somebody's been a naughty boy."

"It's Mister Giles.  Hey, that was at six a.m.  He was out all night."  Jonathan perked up.  This was worthy of note, if not exactly riveting viewing.

"Still in wedding-type clothes, but not exactly mint condition.  I think he got lucky," Warren grinned.

'And I bet he didn't have to tamper with anyone's mind, or kill anybody.'  Jonathan tried to ignore the little voice in his head, but it kept nagging away at him.  What Warren was doing, what he had them doing, was wrong and getting worse.  But how could he get out of it?  He was an accessory to murder.  What choice did he have but to keep going, hope they'd make a big score so that he could get out of this place.  Go somewhere no-one had ever heard of Sunnydale, or Buffy Summers, and especially of Katrina Silber.  Then maybe he'd be able to sleep without seeing her limp body and her sightless eyes.

"I hope I didn't wake you when I came in," Giles said contritely, taking a seat at the kitchen island.  It was eleven thirty on Sunday morning.  "I'm afraid it was extremely late."

"Five past six," Spike grinned.  "Somebody had a good time last night, I bet."

"So I did wake you.  I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it.  Not as if I was sleeping well anyway."  Spike poured out a cup of tea and passed it to the Watcher.  "So, you and Harm, then?"

Giles accepted the tea gladly and took a drink before replying.  "I'm afraid so.  Unwise of me, I know, but I couldn't resist."

"Not surprising, she was pretty as a picture last night."  Spike gazed uncomfortably into his own empty teacup.  "Rupert – you're going to treat her right, yeah?"

"I certainly will not mislead her about my intentions, or make any promises I can't keep," Giles assured him.  "She knows there can be no long-term future in the relationship, and I believe she is content with that.  I hope so.  Perhaps sleeping with her was a mistake, but it's done, I can't change it.  I will do my best to avoid hurting her."

"Hurting her the way I did," Spike muttered.  "I wasn't honest.  I wasn't a total bastard, maybe, but I wasn't good for her, hurt her a lot.  What Buffy did to me, y'know, served me right I suppose.  Karma's a bitch."

"You mentioned that you didn't sleep well," Giles observed, seizing an opportunity to divert the conversation away from his relationship with Harmony.  "Did something happen at the wedding to upset you?  I noticed that you left rather early."

"I left to run the Bit home."  Spike turned away briefly, avoiding the other man's eyes, and Giles could tell that the topic was a sore one.  "But, yeah, I'd originally planned on coming back, dancing the night away, you know.  But then I couldn't face it.  Leo G Carroll was over a barrel."

"As Tarantula took to the hills," Giles completed the quote.  "She left you?"

"Not so much left as got pinched," Spike said ruefully.  "By Richard, which pisses me off a bit.  Thought he was a mate."

"You're taking it more calmly than I would have expected," Giles commented.  "I would have expected him to at the very least get a bloody nose and a black eye."

"I'm not all that mad," Spike confessed.  "I did leave Tarantula hanging around on her own far too long.  Was too tied up with the Nibblet, and the witches, and the happy couple.  All my own fault.  Richard was probably just being a mate and keeping her company to start with.  Not that surprising if two people I like turn out to like each other, and it's not like I was shagging Tarantula.  Now I think about it, I never even got my hand inside her bra.  Never even tried.  I enjoyed being with her, but there wasn't all that much passion, not from either side.  It's just my pride that's hurt.  Once I get over it I'll probably keep seeing her, only it'll be Richard and Tarantula as the couple and me as gooseberry.  Until I find someone else."

"Don't throw yourself too quickly into another relationship just for the sake of being part of a couple," Giles cautioned him.

"Okay, Dad, I won't, didn't plan to," Spike replied, grinning again, although it didn't reach his eyes.

"Is it, then, so impossible that you will get back together with Buffy?" Giles asked, and mentally kicked himself when he saw the pain flicker across Spike's face. "She was stupid, and thoughtless, but she does care for you a great deal."

"It's not good when the caring goes just one way, Rupes.  She taught me that.  Beat it into ..." Spike's voice trailed off as it occurred to him that going into detail about his relationship with the Slayer would only upset her Watcher.  He hastily sought to change the subject.  "I've invited Clem over for lunch.  That okay with you, Rupert?"

"It's your house, William, invite whosoever you choose.  As it happens, I like your friend Clem, and would be only too happy to have his company at lunch, as long as he does not actually devour any kittens in front of me.  Although it might be as well if the Council of Watchers were not advised of my recent social habits."

"Like shagging a soulless vampire?"  Spike smirked wickedly, the twinkle beginning to come back into his eyes.  "Not just for dinner.  I figured out how to work the TiVo, and I've recorded the football.  Man U against Derby County, away.  No chance of finding out the result by accident here, it'll be just like watching it live. Thought we could have a quiet afternoon in and teach Clem about real football."

"Yes, that would be pleasant.  Perhaps a few beers ..." Now it was Giles' turn to have his voice die away as he realised he was prodding a sore point.

"Not more than two.  If I try to have a third I won't be able to get it into my mouth," the younger man said bitterly.  "I could have done with getting good and smashed last night.  Not a chance.  She's shafted me good and proper.  Get back together with her?  Forget it."

"Okay, CryptCam v2.0 is on line," Warren announced triumphantly.  "Let's see what we've got.  Dark, someone in the bed, can't make anything out.  Okay, rewinding, searching for the first movement.  Whoa, baby, baby, that's more like it!"

"She's pretty," Andrew remarked without enthusiasm.  "Looks familiar."

"Harmony Kendall," Jonathan informed him.  "She was in the same year as me.  Second biggest bitch in the school, made my life a misery, and – holy shit!  Look at those bazooms!"

"Yeah baby, come to daddy," Warren drooled, eyes gleaming.  "What I could do to that."  The three young men watched as Harmony slipped out of a party dress, peeled off her underwear, and pulled on a sexy chemise.  They jostled for position at the monitor as she arranged herself in a seductive pose on the bed, waited for a minute, and then a man came into shot.

"So that's what Mr Giles was doing," Jonathan breathed.

"The sly old dog," Warren chuckled.  "How come an old guy like that can get a hot chick like her?  It's not – holy shit!  That is – oh Jesus, what's he – wow.  Oh wow."

The three nerds fell silent and watched awestruck.

Andrew began to lose interest after twenty minutes.  "He's taking a long time," he grumbled.  "How much more is there?"

"How would I know?" Warren snapped.  "We know he was at Spike's apartment about six.  That's four hours from where we are.  Maybe he fucks her the whole four hours."

"We timed Spike with Buffy at five hours once," Jonathan remembered.

"Spike's a vampire, dude, he's got superpowers," Andrew pointed out.  "Or was a vampire, anyway."  He sighed regretfully.  Spike apparently being human now was something of a disappointment to Andrew.

"Spike's the creep who wrecked my demon eggs plan," Warren snarled.  "Seventy-five thousand dollars I was going to get."  He caught Jonathan's eye, and corrected himself.  "We were going to get.  Shut up about that guy.  He'll get what's coming to him later.  Watch the porn.  God, that chick is hot.  I've got to have her."

"She's a vampire," Jonathan reminded him.  He was torn between lust and a horrible feeling that this was wrong, terribly wrong.

"So?  It's not exactly putting that Giles guy off.  With a body like that, who cares?  Plus, vampire means we could do anything we liked and then just stake her. Poof!  No evidence."

"Vampires are evil," Jonathan agreed.  "I suppose so.  She was a bitch to me at school.  And I think it was her who killed Brad Konig last year."  He frowned. "Although, Brad was a creep.  He beat me up three times, and one time he threw my homework assignment in the incinerator."

"There you are, then.  We find some way to recharge the cerebral dampener and we've got the perfect fuck toy.  Or just zap her with a tazer and tie her up while she's out.  Now shut up and watch.  He's going down on her."

"I know what you did last night," Dawn told her sister coldly.

Buffy cringed inwardly as she set the plates down on the kitchen counter.  "That sounds like a cheesy horror movie.  Probably starring that Sarah Michelle Gellar girl who Xander says looks like me."  Her attempted levity evaporated as she faced her sister's icy stare.  "Okay, I was drunk; I made a fool of myself.  I'm sorry, right?"

"I'm not talking about you letting yourself get pawed by that total sleazeball."  Dawn folded her arms across her chest and glared.  "I heard what you said to Richard."

"I was just feeling sorry for that ..." Buffy bit back the words 'skanky ho', "... girl Tarantula.  Spike left her on her own, she was looking lonely.  I just wanted to help her."

"Like Hell," Dawn snapped, and ignored the glare her swearword provoked.  "You could have gone and talked to her yourself.  You were hoping for exactly what happened.  You were just trying to wreck things for Spike."

"It wouldn't have worked if she'd really felt anything for him," Buffy defended herself.  "I've done him a favour."

"Huh.  You're a bitch."

Buffy was getting angry and her brow furrowed ominously.  Dawn met her gaze defiantly and unafraid.

"I admit it.  I'm a bitch," Buffy confessed, her anger melting in the face of her sister's resolve.  "Sure, I should have talked to Tarantula myself.  Or if I'd been a real friend I should have had a word with Spike, reminded him that his girl was on her own.  But I couldn't.  I want Spike back.  I miss him.  Help me, Dawnie, don't fight me on this.  You wanted him to be with us as a family, you said so."

"You hurt him.  It's not fair."  Dawn was becoming torn between conflicting loyalties.

"Why didn't you go and talk to her yourself?" Buffy asked.

"'Cause I'm a teenager and she's a grownup, and I didn't think she'd want to talk to a kid.  Anyway, I didn't think I needed to.  I mean, Spike.  How could she prefer Richard?  I just thought your mean trick would go fizzle, and I could just laugh at you."

"Well, hey, for once my plan worked out.  Sorry you didn't get to laugh at your sister," Buffy said crossly.  "Now, drop it.  I've got to get the meal dished up."

"Come off it, ref!" Spike complained.  "No way was van Nistelrooy offside.  Level at most."

"I don't get this 'offside' thing," Clem commented between Doritos.  "I thought I was going to see a goal there.  Why'd they stop the play?"

"See, it's like this," Spike began, and then froze.  His mouth worked but no sound came out.  Giles and Clem gazed at him in alarm.  "What on Earth?" Spike gasped. He tried again, but was completely unable to proceed with his explanation of the 'offside' rule.

"What's wrong?" Giles asked.

Realisation dawned on Spike.  "That bitch has done it again!" he snarled.  "She's mucked me up totally.  I was just going to tell Clem about the ..." he tensed as he approached the next word, scared in case his voice was taken away again, "'offside' rule, and I couldn't say a word.  She's had me barred from talking about it.  I can't believe this."

Giles couldn't help himself.  He burst out laughing, only to have to swallow his laughter as Spike turned aggrieved eyes on him.  "I'm sorry, William," he said, almost choking with the effort to control himself, "I shouldn't laugh, I know.  It must be terrible for you."

"You got cursed with not being able to explain the rules of soccer?" Clem was intrigued.  "Man, that's petty.  Guess it's better than a plague of boils, though."  He scooped up another handful of Doritos, and used one to scoop up some of Spike's delicious homemade dip.  "Or not being able to boink."

"Oh God, no," Spike moaned.  "She couldn't have.  Surely.  Oh, no."

"I think that would have rather defeated the point of her wish," Giles pointed out.  "Didn't you disprove that at the stag night?"

"She might have restricted it to just with her," Spike said worriedly.  "No, everything I did at the stag do was external.  Things were definitely in working order, yeah, but I didn't actually shag any of the girls as such."

"I still wouldn't worry about it.  I can't imagine her drawing a distinction between penetrative and non-penetrative sex in the Clinton fashion."  Giles was still struggling to hold back laughter, while at the same time feeling a lot of sympathy for the former vampire whom he would definitely now class as a close friend.

"Ah did not have sexual relations with that stripper," Spike intoned, and suddenly burst out laughing.  "I suppose I've got to see the funny side.  I can just picture Buffy sitting making a list, with Cecily, that is Halfrek, taking everything down in a notebook.  Must have taken ages.  They probably had to stop for meal breaks. Wonder if Halfrek had a catalogue?"

"As far as I can work out she's not here permanently," Jonathan told Warren.  "One more week, maybe two.  She's waiting for something to happen in Los Angeles, somebody coming back from somewhere, and then she's off."

"So we'll have to move quickly," Warren mused.  "Why not tomorrow?"

"I think we should get the new hideout finished first," Jonathan suggested.  "Just in case anything goes wrong and we have to go on the lam."

"Wise your suggestion is, young Luke," Warren agreed, surprising Jonathan, who was accustomed to his ideas being dismissed out of hand by his more forceful associate.  "Okay, we'll work on the hideout, and I'll check up to see if I'm right about that Giles guy running the magic shop while the lovebirds are off honeymooning.  Then we'll know just where everybody is on Tuesday, we can pick our moment and strike."

"Two all.  Not good enough.  Arsenal beat Newcastle two nil at St. James' Park yesterday.  They're pulling away from us."  Spike shook his head sadly as the final whistle went.

"There's still more than two months to go," Giles remarked, "but the Gunners are looking worryingly formidable this season."

"Yeah.  Ljundberg, Viera, Henry – I liked them better when they were 'boring Arsenal' and we could rely on them finishing second or third behind us every year." Spike gathered up the empty glasses and cans.  "So, what'd you think, mate?" he asked Clem.

"Well I'd seen soccer before, when the World Cup was on, you know," the peaceful demon replied, "but it does make it more interesting watching with real Englishmen.  Even if one of them is magically blocked from explaining some of the rules."  His jagged teeth showed as he grinned teasingly.

Spike shook his head again and smiled ruefully.  "God, she really did a number on me.  Was I a bore on the subject?  I don't even remember trying to explain it to her more than once, maybe twice, y'know.  Although I suppose I was trying to explain it to Xander once while she was around, and maybe to the Nibblet.  Oh well, not as if I intended taking advantage of my new ability to walk in the sun to take up a new career as a Premiership referee.  I can live with it.  As long as there are no more nasty surprises in the small print."

"How are you getting on with your homework?" Buffy asked.  "You've lost a lot of time over the weekend, what with the rehearsal dinner and the wedding.  Is Spike coming over to help you?"  She tried to sound casual and unconcerned.

Dawn rolled her eyes.  "You mean is he coming over so that you can make another lame pass at him?  Nope.  I e-mailed him, he e-mailed some suggestions back.  No physical Spike presence involved.  So there."

"There was not going to be any lame passage," Buffy denied unconvincingly.  "I just want to be sure you get your assignments done on time.  Remember I've got to see your teacher tomorrow.  So not wanting there to be more problems with school, and Social Services."

Dawn was unconcerned.  "I'm doing fine, Buffy.  Now go away and let me get on with this.  If I need any help with the math I'll ask Willow, okay?"

"Okay."  Buffy wandered away, feeling oddly as if she'd been defeated.

Jonathan tossed and turned in the bed, unable to sleep.  He could hear Katrina's voice in his head again.  'This is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks!  It's rape!'  He thought of Harmony Kendall.  'She's a vampire,' he reminded himself.  'Not a person.  Just a monster'.  Right.  'A monster who gets invited to weddings, and keeps cuddly toys on her pillow, and rushes to her bedroom ahead of her date  to hide the cuddly toys and make herself pretty for him.  Some monster,' he found himself thinking.  He wished he knew more about how Buffy's friends suddenly seemed to have accepted the vampire into their circle.

Strange that it had proved so easy to set up video surveillance but so hard to get meaningful sound, spy films had led him to believe that the exact opposite would be the case.  But light travelled in nice straight lines, it was predictable, whereas sound wasn't.  The few microphones they'd placed either picked up nothing most of the time or else picked up so much background noise that the meaningful conversations were drowned out, hidden by static.  He knew Harmony had rescued someone, he didn't know who or how, and they seemed to be rewarding her for that by treating her like a person.  Spike really was a person now; again he didn't know how, magic of some kind.  Magic that was way out of his league.  Willow, perhaps, she seemed to have a lot of magical ability these days.  Were they wise messing with that sort of power?

Thinking about it now, away from the hot sex on the monitor, the idea of cold-bloodedly planning to abduct and rape someone, vampire or not, was beginning to make him feel ill.  But what could he do?  Warren was set on it.  He wouldn't be easy to dissuade.  Probably impossible.  And he was stuck, committed to staying with the other two and carrying on with their plans.  If he quit they'd think he was going to betray them.  Somehow he didn't think that would be conducive to long life.  Warren had already killed once.  If Jonathan really did betray them, they'd go to jail, but he'd go to jail too.  Even turning State's Evidence wouldn't keep him out, just reduce his sentence, and he couldn't face it.  Better to stick with the Trio, until they could make the big score and split up, leave this town far behind.

He had to think of all the mean things Harmony had done.  Her using him to humiliate Cordelia Chase, picking him as the worst possible date, making him feel lower than a worm.  Her being one of those whose scorn and teasing and constant petty cruelties had driven him to the point of suicide, a fate from which only Buffy's intervention had saved him – no, don't think of that!  Harmony bringing him her yearbook before Graduation Day, signing his, saying 'You were pretty cool making that speech at the Prom when you gave Buffy her award.  I couldn't have got up in front of all those people like that.  You take care of yourself, Jonathan,' and ruffling his hair playfully.

No!  He mustn't think of that either!  She was a bitch, and now she's a monster.  He had to keep thinking that way.  And thinking of Buffy as the enemy.  Not as the girl who saved him from suicide, the Class Protector, who saved the whole school when the Mayor turned into a monster, not as the girl who caught his leg and saved him when he fell into the chasm.  'Oh God.  How did I get from there to here?'

"No, Dawn's not in any trouble.  Quite the opposite," the teacher assured Buffy.  "Her work and her attitude have been somewhat, shall we say, erratic the past year, but at the moment I think the only way to describe them is ... exemplary."

"Oh."  Buffy was taken aback.  This wasn't what she had been expecting at all.

"Her most recent History assignment, for instance, was an outstanding piece of work.  I might have suspected her of downloading a text from the Internet and submitting it as her own, but there were certain idiosyncrasies within it that were characteristically Dawn.  I'm just trying to understand the enigma that is Dawn Summers, so that I can help her to fulfil the quite astonishing potential that I see in her, and prevent her from backsliding into cutting classes and submitting careless and sloppy work.  I know that she went through a bad patch a year ago, following your mother's tragic and untimely death, but she had managed to overcome those difficulties.  Her relapse at the end of the year is harder to understand.  I'm delighted that it appears to be over, and I'm hoping to be able to avoid a recurrence."

"Spike," Buffy muttered.  The teacher raised her eyebrows, and Buffy hastily went on.  "I think, with Dawn, I think the factor is my ex."  There.  She'd finally said it.  Spike was her ex.  "My boyfriend, William, he was like a big brother to Dawn.  She sorta idolised him.  He was all with helping her with her homework, and telling her stories, and I think, yeah, he was a big help to her."  'And a good influence.  Even when he was a vampire, and how weird is that?'  "But we broke up, and she didn't get to see him any more."  'Okay, not the way it really happened, pretty much the opposite, but how could I explain that I stopped him coming round when we started sleeping together and not sound crazy?  Maybe I was crazy'.

"So you're back together now?  What does he do?"

"He's a Graduate Research Assistant at UC Sunnydale in the Faculty of Classical Studies," Buffy recited.  Warm, approving, smile from the teacher.  Shame she'd have to spoil it.  "But no, we're not back together.  We're sorta friends now, and he's friends with Willow and Tara who room with us, so he's around again, and, yeah, he's back to helping Dawn.  Which is of the good."

"It doesn't sound a very stable situation," the teacher observed, a hint of disapproval in her voice.

"Actually yeah, pretty stable.  Sp- William had a kid sister, she died a while back, and he sorta adopted Dawn."  True.  William's sister had died in 1872, he'd told her, which was certainly quite a while back.  "Plus, he was a friend of Mom.  He's kinda family, even though him and me aren't together any more.  He'll still be around for her, as long as she needs him."  'Till the end of the world'.  Yeah, Spike would always be there for Dawn.  She'd never treated him like a monster, like Mom never had, and they had won his undying loyalty and affection.  Like she could have done.  'I know that I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man, and that's ...' She'd thrown it away.  'What happened to my 'willing slave'?'  'You beat him to death in the alley across from the police station'.  "Even if things aren't working out between me and William any more."  'Don't you know it seems to show that you don't know what you've got till it's gone'.

"It must be hard for you," the teacher said sympathetically.  "I can see that the situation isn't ideal.  You were so much happier the last time I met you."

'Huh?  Never met you before.  Oh, shit, must have been the Bot.'

"But he does seem to be a good influence on Dawn.  I hope it doesn't become too awkward for you."

"I can deal," Buffy assured the teacher, and remained in control of herself for the rest of the meeting.  She didn't start crying until she got home.

"We were all coming down the steps.  I was Second Wave, remember?  First Wave was still fighting the Mayor, and the vampires were behind us, and Angel's group were fighting them and they turned and came for us.  So this one came for me, and I had a stake and I used it but I didn't get the heart right, and it fell over but it pulled the stake out of my hands and then this other one jumped for me.  African-American vampire, not sure if it was a girl or a guy, difficult to tell with the bumpies, but long hair.  So, I screamed and tried to dodge, but it got me and it bit me.  It hurt.  I mean, I heard it was this big erotic experience, only with me it just hurt like a sonofabitch.  And the humans I bit didn't seem to like it that much, 'cept maybe Brad, and he was kinda weird, you know?  Anyway, I've got these fangs in my throat and it hurt and I could feel myself getting weak.  And then somebody hit the vamp with a baseball bat and it let me go, but I couldn't stand up and I just fell on the ground."  Harmony paused to take a drink.  Giles reached out and gave her hand a comforting squeeze, and she responded with a shaky smile.

"So, I was lying on the ground, and there were legs all around me, and I thought 'I'm dying', and I did this really, really stupid thing.  I grabbed the one that bit me and I bit its leg as hard as I could, only, jeans, so not doing any damage, so I pulled the jeans up and bit again.  And I made it bleed and I tasted the blood and I thought 'that's how you make a vampire' and I thought that'd be better than being dead, maybe, so I sucked hard and I swallowed.  Then suddenly it was gone and my mouth was full of dust and I didn't know if I'd drank enough so I grabbed another leg, and I could tell it wasn't one of us because hey, fishnet tights, not dressed for Graduation, and I bit again and drank some more.  And she kicked me in the face but, hey, I hung on.  Then she was gone, and more dust in my mouth, and there was Percy with a stake in his hand, and then things got kinda hazy and everything went dark."

"We don't have to go on if it's upsetting you," Giles told her softly, squeezing her hand again.

"No, it's okay," Harmony assured him, even though her eyes were moist.  "Next thing I knew I was waking up and I opened my eyes and everything was like totally dark, and I tried to move and there was this stuff all around me, and I struggled and I clawed and something tore and there was some light and I kept clawing until I could sit up.  Then I saw I was in a body bag."

Giles moved to sit closer to her so that he could put his arm around her shoulder.  Squeezing her hand didn't seem adequate.

"It wasn't the morgue.  It was somewhere in the hospital, I guess they'd brought a lot of us there, some dead and some just wounded.  I was hungry.  Really hungry.  For blood, you know?  And I found my way out of that room and I was in corridors and I met this guy, orderly I suppose, and I grabbed him and I could feel my face changing and I bit him and I drank and it was just so good.  Only when I let him go he fell down and he was dead and I thought, 'oh shit, I've killed somebody, Buffy is so going to stake me'.  And then I realised I was all with the bumpies, and I didn't like it, and I tried to make them go away and they did."

Giles was surprised.  It was taken for granted by the Council of Watchers that the fanged and ridged facial state, the visage known as 'game face' by the Sunnydale vampires and the Scooby Gang, was a vampire's true face.  The human face was a mask worn for purposes of deception only.  Spike had been the first to shake his belief in that assumption; Spike rarely wore game face, and had remained in his human guise when under the influence of Willow's amnesia spell until he actually became engaged in deadly hand-to-hand combat.  All the theories had indicated that he should have woken in game face.  Now Harmony, too, was talking as if she regarded her human face as the true one.

"So I went home," Harmony continued.  "Mom said 'Oh my God, Harmony, we were so worried,' and I started to cry.  I told her, 'Mom, don't invite me in, just get my purse and pack my clothes in a suitcase and pass them out to me.'  See, I wasn't sure if I'd be strong enough not to eat Mom and Dad and Megan.  Anyway, she did, and Dad gave me some cash, and said he'd put something in my bank account every month, and I went to Oxnard.  Stayed there for a while, tried not to kill anybody, 'cept I couldn't always steal blood so yeah, there were a couple, and I was scared Buffy might come after me, and then I saw Xander working in a club there so I moved on.  I wanted to go to Paris, you know, but I knew that was right out, so I thought, LA, Beverley Hills, Hollywood, next best thing, so I headed that way and that's where I met Spikey.  He recognised me from Sunnydale, which was cool 'cause I'd never really noticed him, guess it was that whole 'vampire watching from the shadows' thing, and I guess you pretty much know the story from there."

"Thank you, Harmony.  I hope it hasn't been too distressing for you."

"Well, not a bundle of laughs, yeah, but not too bad.  The cuddle helped a lot."

"You say you've always tried to avoid feeding directly on humans as much as possible.  May I ask why that is?"

"Well, partly 'cause of being scared.  Like, when Xander and Cordy told me the full thing about vampires, like I hadn't had my suspicions but they gave me the full spiel, part of it was about there being the Slayer whose job it is to kill vampires.  And we fought the vampires and the vampires lost.  So, not feeling big with the 'hey, I've got super-strength, I can do anything', 'cause not enthusiastic about being turned to dust and I knew right from the start it could happen.  Plus, when I was human and ate, like, animals and plants, I wasn't out with the rifle and the spade and things.  Food comes from the store, in bags, and you put it in the microwave. Kinda natural to think the same way about blood.  Okay, doesn't taste as good as the Organic, maybe, but they say that about human food and everybody still buys the big brand stuff with all the preservatives and the additives."

Giles was deep in thought.  Spike.  Harmony.  The two most human vampires he'd ever known, barring the souled Angel whose humanity came from special circumstances.  He'd wondered if there was any common factor that could explain their having retained so much of their human sense of identity.  Now he had the answer.  Spike had been sired by Drusilla, but Angelus had taken over when the crazy vampire girl had botched the job.  The blood of both ran through Spike's veins, or had done until the wish had turned him human.  Harmony had fed from two vampires as she lay dying.

Fascinating.  Perhaps the mingling led to the vampire personality being weakened.  Two parts cancelling each other out, leaving the human personality as the dominant factor.  This called for more research.

"Hey, you're all zoned out," Harmony complained.  She was smiling, and didn't appear to be offended.

"I'm sorry, Harmony.  I'm just so interested in your tale.  Quite remarkable.  You really are a most extraordinary vampire."

"I know that look.  You want to go bury your nose in a book, right?  No boinking for me tonight.  That's okay.  Telling that story, not so big with the romantic, not really in the mood myself.  Tomorrow night, okay?"

"Yes, Harmony, my dear.  Tomorrow night, definitely."

"Situation check, Short Round?"

"Harmony isn't in the bedroom; she must be in the upper level.  Spike's in his apartment.  Buffy and her sister and the witches are in their house.  Mr Giles is tidying up in the Magic Box.  It's not supposed to close for another five minutes, but I'm not sure if he's going to wait." Jonathan reported.

"Andrew?  You've got your pipe ready in case anything goes wrong?"

"Sure, Warren, all ready to summon my little friend.  He'll cover us if we need him."

"Okay, let's do it."  Warren opened the door and stepped out of the van, followed closely by the other two.  He donned sunglasses, seemingly unnecessary now that the sun had just dipped below the horizon, readied a small device, and approached the crypt.

Harmony was sitting on top of the sarcophagus when they opened the door.  She was reading 'Cosmopolitan' and listening to Top 40 radio.  Enrique Iglesias' 'Hero' was playing, and she was singing along.  "Now would you die for the one you loved?  Hold me in your arms tonight."  She broke off as they entered and came to her feet.

"It's good manners to knock before you come into a lady's room," she snapped.

"Sorry," Jonathan mumbled by reflex.  Warren kicked his ankle and he yelped.

"Jonathan Levinson!  You ungrateful jerk.  Buffy told me what you've been up to.  After all she's done for you!  How could you?"  Harmony's scolding made Jonathan cringe.

"Shut up, bitch," Warren ordered.  "Time to learn to do as you're told."  He raised the cerebral dampener and pressed the trigger.

Unfortunately for him Harmony had seen 'Men in Black' and guessed the significance of the sunglasses.  She whipped up the magazine and held it in front of her face as the device flashed.

"Now, down on your knees, slave," Warren ordered, grinning triumphantly.

Jonathan had seen Harmony's move with the magazine and tried to warn his comrade.  "Uh, Warren," he began, but it was too late.

Harmony raced forward at top vampire speed and snatched the dampener from Warren's hand before he could react.  "What is this, some kind of mind control thing?" she asked contemptuously.  "Hope it's still under warranty."  She crushed it in her hand and tossed the fragments to the floor.  Bumps and ridges appeared on her forehead as she went into game face.  "Buffy wouldn't like it if I killed you, but I could probably get away with taking a little drink before I hand you over."

"Andrew!" Warren screamed.  "Blow it!"

"I'm on it!" Andrew yelled back.  He blew into a long painted wooden tube, producing a low resonant note.

"Another pathetic toy for me to smash?  God, what is it with boys and their toys?" Harmony sneered, and began to move towards Andrew.  Warren and Jonathan tried to grab her, and Jonathan pulled a stun gun from inside his jacket, but Harmony hurled Warren aside, snatched Jonathan's stunner from his hand, and threw it against the crypt wall hard enough to shatter the device.

"Andrew!" Warren yelled again, panic filling him.

Andrew kept blowing.  A veil of mist appeared in the crypt and something stepped through it.  A tall figure in a black cloak, humanoid, but with an odd sheen to its skin and a row of vicious teeth in its grinning mouth.

"What the fuck?" Harmony exclaimed.  She abandoned her attempt to reach Andrew and dived back across the crypt towards the sarcophagus, grabbing for something.

Warren's face paled as he saw what she snatched up.  Her cell phone.  "Out!  Come on, run for it!" he ordered.  Jonathan needed no encouragement and sprinted for the door.  Warren was close behind him, hustling Andrew along with him.

"Aren't we going to see how my demon does, dudes?" Andrew whined.

"She's calling Spike, doofus," Warren snapped.  "Do you want to still be here when he arrives, maybe with the Slayer, when half our weapons are smashed and we've got nothing but your demon?  Get to the van."

Harmony had Spike's number on speed-dial and hit it straight away.  She backed away across the crypt, searching for something she could use as a weapon, holding the phone to her ear with one hand and watching the demon as it advanced slowly towards her.  "Now, we're all demons here," she said nervously.  "You don't want to do anything you'll regret".

It merely growled and brought its fist down heavily on the radio, smashing it to pieces.

Harmony snarled angrily and stopped retreating.  At that point Spike answered his phone, and Harmony gabbled hastily "Spikey!  The nerds attacked me and they brought a demon and -"

The demon struck out again, knocking the phone from her hand.  Harmony punched it hard in reply, knocking it back a few paces, but it recovered quickly and advanced once more.

She punched again to the demon's face, and it blocked her with contemptuous ease, but she was already bringing her foot across in a leg-sweep and she brought it crashing to the ground.  She leaped over the arm with which it grabbed for her legs, and tried to make for the door, but it kicked out, connected with her shin, and sent her sprawling.  It scrambled towards Harmony, seized her, and they grappled for a moment until Harmony bit savagely into its arm.  It recoiled, extended a spine from its fist, and stabbed her with it, impaling her shoulder.  She bit harder, gouging out a chunk of flesh, and the demon pulled itself free and jumped to its feet. Harmony rolled and came erect too; the demon turned and fled from the crypt.

"Bastard!" Harmony cursed.  "My clothes are filthy and I'm meeting Rupert soon.  Better let Spikey know what happened."  She looked around for the cell phone, picked it up, and spoke into it, but the connection had broken.  She pressed disconnect, so that she would be able to receive calls again, and raised her hand to where her shoulder was throbbing ...

... and was lying in the open, under some kind of archway, wrapped in newspaper and covered with pieces of cardboard, cold, wet, and uncomfortable.  The smell of urine and cheap alcohol was all around, and someone was singing a slurred rendition of 'Light My Fire' nearby.  She could feel something in her hand; she looked at it and found that she was holding a hypodermic syringe.

She looked up and saw three people staring at her.  One of them was Angel, but there was no recognition whatsoever in his eyes.  The other two were her father and mother.

"Oh, Harmony, my baby, we've found you at last," her mother said, almost sobbing.

"Mom?  Where am I?" Harmony asked, wondering what on Earth was going on.  How had she got here, wherever here was?  It was daylight.  How much time had passed?

"She knows me!  See, she knows me."  Mrs Kendall smiled and simultaneously began to cry.

"She is our daughter, Phyllis, of course she knows you," Mr Kendall pointed out.  "Heroin addiction doesn't cause amnesia."

"Heroin addiction?  What are you talking about, Dad?" Harmony asked, then froze in shock.

Angel was standing in the sunlight and he wasn't on fire.

She looked down.  Her feet were in the sunlight too; and she wasn't on fire either.

To be continued ...

The characters in this story do not belong to me, but are being used for amusement only and all rights remain with Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the writers of the original episodes, and the TV and production companies responsible for the original television programmes.  BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER ©2002 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.  All Rights Reserved. The Buffy the Vampire Slayer trademark is used without express permission from Fox.