_________________________

"In a state of lock down
Burning, beaten, betrayed.
Taken for a ride again,
When I should have stayed.
How simple to make it all black or white
To separate all into wrong or right.
It seems better to go this way, no longer feel the need.
To let myself go and succumb, and let the days recede.
I'll view them sideways while I sleep
Although the wanting still remains."

--Excerpt, "Lock Down" by The Mark of Cain.

On a hot, sultry night in December, a tall, dark haired man with hunched shoulders, dressed in dark, non-descript clothing walked slowly into an unremarkable piano bar in Perth, Western Australia. There were few customers that night, some old couples at the bar, sitting close and holding hands, whispering of their love, still as strong and real as it had been when they'd met. There were also a few young people playing pool at the table in the corner. And sitting at the white piano, dressed in a dark lounge suit was a man with auburn hair, playing Barry Manilow covers.

"Hey man."

The tall man muttered a greeting at the piano player as he moved past the piano towards the bar.

"Hey Bartleby."

The pianist didn't stop playing. The tall man froze.

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh come on! Don't you recognise me? Your ol' pal, Morningstar? What you been up to lately, sweet cheeks? And where's your sweet little other half, Loki?"

Bartleby opened and closed his mouth several times. The man seated at the piano continued to play. A woman wearing a deep red dress and with long, flaxen coloured hair came towards him and stood, gazing adoringly at the pianist.

"Lucifer? And The Merkin? What's going on?"

"I quit."

"You WHAT? You can't quit, you're the guardian of hell."

"Not any more I'm not. I gave that up. Do you have any idea how depressing that place is? No music. I mean, okay, there were the hell choir, but they were so discordant. And then there were N Sync, Brittany and Take That...puh-leaze! I need REAL music. Gimme Barry, Aretha, any day of the week."

"Wait, wait. Take That, Brittany and N Sync aren't dead."

"Well not technically, but musically...peaches, have you been paying attention to anything at all?"

"No. Not since...not since I killed Loki."

Lucifer stopped playing and turned deep blue eyes on Bartleby. His expression was incredulous. The woman - The Merkin – tore her eyes off of her paramour to gaze in astonishment at Bartleby.

"I beg your pardon, chum, but for a moment there I thought you said you killed Loki."

"I did."

"So why are you here and not in hell?"

"She gave me the opportunity to make amends. Loki though..."

"...Hates you and feels betrayed by you and never wants to see you again?"

"How did you know?"

"I didn't but that's the way these things always go. Well. I gotta say, sweets that this is quite possibly the most outrageous thing you've ever done. In several millennia, that's saying something. You oughta be proud."

"Lay off, Lucifer, all right?"

"Look, I can see your soul's bleeding right there. So what brings you into my bar?"

"Your bar?"

"I own this place. Hence it being 'my bar.'"

"Oh. Well, Loki decided to move down here. He heard that the sunsets were the best in the world. He said if he couldn't be in heaven then this was as near as he could get. Or so I heard."

"I see. So you paid someone close to him to find out what he's doing and basically now you're stalking him until he can find it in himself to talk to you?"

"Something like that."

"Bartleby man, you are the most pathetic excuse for a love struck teenager I've ever seen!"

"I am not a love struck teenager."

"Sure. Whatever. Look. Here's an idea. Why don't you try, ooh, I dunno, giving him a call on the telephone? They have them now. Wonders of instantaneous communication. You'd be impressed."

"Shut your sarcastic mouth, you bastard."

"Just a thought, mon ami. Happy drowning your sorrows to you."

With that, Lucifer turned back to the piano and began to play 'Ave Maria'. Bartleby, scowling, made his way to the bar and ordered a beer and a tequila chaser. He planned on getting very, very drunk.

*~*~*~*

"Mortality bites, y'know?"

"Yeah man. I know."

Bartleby had no idea who he was talking to, he could only make out a vague humanoid form, who was listening and making appropriate noises at the right points in his monologue. He'd lost count of how much he'd had to drink. The bar was practically deserted, save for Lucifer who was now playing "The Piano Man" and the Merkin, who was dancing by herself. And him and his unknown companion. Everything was fuzzy. His vision was blurred. He didn't care.

"See, there's this guy, y'know? And I fuckin' love him. I'd fuckin' do anythin' for 'im, y'know? And I fucked up really fuckin' big time. I did somethin' totally fuckin' stupid and he hates me. Hell, I hate me."

His companion was silent. Bartleby continued his rant about his lot in life.

"I'm no fuckin' queer, though I always shay live and let live, y'know? But this guy, well, he's fuckin' speshoool. He's...he's an angel. A fuckin' angel. He's got this beautiful fuckin' soul and this enormous heart and he always followed me and trusted me an' I let him down an I fucked up...fucked up big time..."

Drunkenly he lay his head on the bar, murmuring over and over again "I fucked up." The tears began to fall, as they did every night, sober or drunk, when he reached this point in his memories. His companion remained silent, and by his side.

"Hey."

The voice was soft and gentle. Bartleby gulped, hiccuped and looked up at his companion, blinking blearily and trying to focus his vision.

"Wha?"

"B, man, I think we need to get you home and sober you up."

"Loki?"

"Yeah, B."

"Oh fuck Loki. Fuck I love you."

Loki smiled and then began to chuckle softly.

"So you've been saying for the last four hours."

"Mmm. I'm pished."

"I noticed."

Loki raised his voice and called out to Lucifer.

"Morningstar! Hey!"

Lucifer turned flat, unfriendly eyes upon the former Angel of Death.

"What?"

"Listen can you help me here? I want to get this drunken sot somewhere to sober him up."

Lucifer sighed and stood up from the piano. He walked towards Loki and the half comatose Bartleby.

"Help me carry him, Loki. He's a heavy looking bastard."

Together, the fallen angels carried the now drunkenly singing Bartleby out the back of the piano bar and into the office area. There was a small living area, opulently furnished, with a large bed and an equally large bathtub. Plopping Bartleby down on a red velvet chaise, Lucifer went to the tub, turning the faucets on and allowing it to fill. He turned to face Loki, who was trying hard not to laugh.

"What's so funny, Loki?"

"I've never seen B so pissed! Ever!"

Lucifer rolled his eyes heavenward, muttering to himself about people being so in love with each other and being too blind to see it.

"Loki. You know you love him. You know he loves you. So do something. Either put him out of his misery or take a chance on love. Seize the moment, peaches."

"Yeah."

"Yeah what? Come on, I need something a bit more than just 'yeah'"

"I'll take a chance."

"Good for you, kid. Now get him into the tub and he'll sober up. I promise you. This is a wonderful bathtub. It cures all sorts of ailments."

"Didn't you say something similar to Eve?"

"And did I lie to her? I think not. Of course, it cost her Eden, but it's a small price to pay for sex, don't you agree?"

Lucifer leered at Loki who had the good nature to blush.

"Been enjoying sowing your wild oats while he pines after you like a love struck school girl? You should know he's still a virgin. He's been saving himself for you. If it was another couple I'd say it was sweet but as it's you two, I think it's disgusting, personally."

"You really hate us, don't you."

"No. Just you, Loki. Bartleby's all right. He's got a yen for you though, so I can't be too mean to you. The only reason I'm helping you out here is because he's a good guy, a decent guy who fucked up and is trying to make amends. You'd do well to remember that and stop punishing him."

"I know. I'm stopping right now. I care too much."

"Good. I'll leave you to it, sugar."

"Lucifer?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling me earlier and telling me he was here. I appreciate it."

"I didn't do it for you, I did it for him. Have a good night. Morning. Whatever."

Lucifer left him.

Loki sighed and bent, removing Bartleby's boots, and socks. Then he pulled Bartleby's prone body forward, removing his dark t-shirt. He sighed, looking at the finely muscled chest, covered with a sprinkling of dark hair. The tattoo of barbed wire about his friend's upper right arm was a new addition. Loki traced it lightly with his fingertips. Then he moved down and pulled off the black trousers and boxer shorts.

Sighing, ignoring the sight of Bartleby's unconscious naked body, he pulled him up and hefted him over to the bathtub, with much grunting and groaning and not a little swearing. Hefting him into the tub, he peeled off his own shirt, and knelt down next to the tub, dipping his hands in the hot water in preparation to wash Bartleby's face.

He looked up from the bath water into deep brown eyes, eyes that were nearly lucid and suddenly full of fear.

"Are...are you a dream?"

"No. Here."

Loki handed Bartleby a sponge. Bartleby took it but remained motionless, staring at his friend.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got a telephone call. I came down here. I saw my best friend and the only person I ever loved drowning his sorrows in cheap beer and expensive tequila...and Lucifer playing piano, but that's another story."

"But why are you here? You hate me!"

Loki sighed, taking the sponge from Bartleby's hand and dipping it in the water, bringing it up to run it down his chest and shoulders.

"I don't hate you. I was punishing you for what you did to me back in Jersey. I never hated you. I just...just wanted you to hurt like I did."

"Loki, I'm so, so sorry."

"I know. Can we not talk about this anymore? Please?"

"Okay. Sure. Whatever you want. Just...don't go?"

"Not planning to, B."

Despite their soft conversation, Loki couldn't help but notice his body's reactions to Bartleby naked and wet body, which was completely relaxed under his ministrations with the sponge. He bit his lower lip, hoping that the flush he could feel rising on his cheeks wasn't too obvious.

As an angel, Loki had always thought Bartleby was beautiful. As a human, he found him even more so. He didn't want to be kneeling at the side of a bathtub, bathing his friend, no matter how erotic that was. He wanted to be lying on that huge bed that was tucked away in the corner, screwing his friend into the mattress. He suppressed that line of thought quickly as he felt his cock twinge in response to such an idea.

"B?"

"Yes?"

"Are you sober?"

"I'm less drunk."

"Well, you're making sense now, so you must be sobering up."

"I guess."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Loki, anything."

"How do you feel about me?"

Silence stretched out between them.

"I love you, Loki."

"Anything else?"

Bartleby regarded him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, is what I'm doing to you now having any effect on you at all?"

Bartleby suddenly turned crimson and lowered his eyelashes. Loki found himself staring at the long, thick brown lashes, wondering why he'd never noticed them before.

"I don't know if I should answer that."

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

Loki sighed. He dropped the sponge in the bath and stood up. Pushing down his own trousers, he revealed his now proud erection.

"Have you got the same reaction?"

Bartleby just nodded, staring, wide eyed. Loki suppressed the laughter bubbling up inside him. For once, the Watcher, the all-knowing Grigori was the innocent and he was the all-knowing one. He sank back to his knees, picking up the sponge again and continuing to run it down his friend's torso and upper arms.

"Good. Because I'd hate to think I'd have to masturbate to get rid of that."

He heard Bartleby swallow. Audibly. A sudden thought crossed his mind.

"Shit, B, you * have * masturbated since we were given human form, haven't you?"

Bartleby mutely shook his head. Loki stared at him.

"Wow. Have you had sex?"

Again a shake of the head.

"WOW! I didn't think Lucifer was telling the truth...but...hang on. Why?"

There was a long pause.

"Because if I couldn't be with you and have you then I didn't want anyone else."

Loki felt the wind knocked out of his sails at that. A surge of self-loathing swept through him. Bartleby had, despite, or perhaps because of everything, remained true and loyal to him. He, on the other hand, had had sex with as many different women and men as would have him. And that had been quite a lot. None of them, however, had done nearly as much for him as Bartleby. To be honest with himself, he had thought about Bartleby while he had been with most of them. He leaned forward, planting what was meant to be a soft, closed mouth kiss on his friend's lips.

Their reactions to such a simple gesture startled them both. As soon as their lips met, they opened to each other, and tongues, first shy at the unfamiliar contact then growing more bold and daring with desire, locked and thrust deep into each other's mouths. Bartleby moaned against Loki's mouth and the sound made Loki almost come on the floor. He broke their embrace for a moment, long enough to slide into the tub to join Bartleby. Then it was on again. They stayed in the slowly cooling water kissing each other, skin-to-skin, arms around each other. Loki didn't want to scare Bartleby off by precipitating action that might freak his friend out. He waited for Bartleby to start the ball rolling and then went with it. For the moment though, lying on his friend in the bathtub, kissing him so passionately it gave him spots behind his eyes, was enough.

The water grew colder as their interior temperatures rose, but finally Bartleby pushed Loki's face back from his own.

"Loki...it's sorta getting cold."

"Its summer, B. The Australians think this weather is normal, if you can believe that. Its something like 38oC out there."

"If it's so hot out there then why am I shivering?"

"You think you're so fucking smart." Loki smiled to take the sting out of his words. "The reason you're shivering, dear heart, is because you're aroused and ready to rumble, as some say."

Bartleby gaped at him stupidly and then blushed again. Loki grinned at him.

/He keeps up that blushing thing and I'm going to come in the tub. /

"Could we perhaps move somewhere a little more comfortable and a lot less wet, Loki?"

Nodding, Loki levered himself off of Bartleby, and stepped, body glistening with water, from the tub. Bartleby gazed at him stupidly, watching him with utter fascination as he stripped the water from his arms and legs with his hands, reached over and grabbed a towel, and proceeded to dry himself off.

"Come on, man. Whatcha waiting for?"

Bartleby swallowed, and slowly got up and out of the tub. He caught the towel tossed deftly to him by Loki and watched as Loki swaggered over to the bed while he slowly dried himself.

In their lives as angels, Bartleby had led and Loki had followed. Whatever he wanted to do, Loki would follow him. Oh there had been arguments, like the $10 bet from years ago, and the little matter of having killed his best friend, but apart from that, nothing major. Bartleby had always been slightly uncomfortable with the unconditional adoration Loki bestowed upon him. Now he found that as humans, he was the follower and Loki the leader.

Lying on the bed, half propped up on his elbows, body on full display, Loki watched Bartleby watch him. He suppressed a smile. Raising one arm, he crooked a finger at the dark haired former angel. Obediently, Bartleby came to him and sat on the edge of the bed.

/A guy could used to this being the leader thing./

"Loki?"

"B."

"Now what?"

"Well, unless you say no, now we fuck."

"Can't you use a nicer word than that? We DO love each other after all."

"Sure thing. How about 'now we get makin' with the love.'"

Bartleby cringed.

"That sounds like something that castrator bastard Jay would say."

Loki suddenly frowned.

"Castrator?"

"Well he cut off my wings. Shot them off actually. I had no idea it would hurt so much! I felt completely emasculated."

Loki burst out laughing.

"You think too much."

Sitting up, he leaned forward, cupping one hand around Bartleby's neck and drawing him close for a long, deep, passionate kiss.

*~*~*~*

"I love the night life, I love to boogie....HOLY FREAKING HELL!"

Lucifer stared at the vision before him, reposing in a deep sleep upon his bed. He'd come to open the club early, do some bookwork...thinking he'd catch a nap in-between his two nightly shows at the piano. And here they were, Bartleby and Loki, naked as the day they were reborn mortal, arms wrapped around each other, with not even a sheet sparing him the view.

Bartleby's head rested on Loki's shoulder, one arm thrown casually over the blonde's chest. Loki's arm was wrapped around Bartleby, while his other hand held Bartleby's. Lucifer made a retching sound.

"Please. Boys, don't try and pretend to be asleep. I know you too well."

Loki opened his eyes and grinned. Bartleby began to laugh.

"Enjoying the view Lucifer?"

"Loki, you are the single most unattractive creature I've ever seen, and I used to live in Hell, so that's saying quite a lot. Bartleby...well, he's not bad."

"Thanks."

Loki's tone was flat. Bartleby was still laughing.

"Lucifer...thank you so much."

The former Guardian of Hell shrugged.

"Least I could do. You kids play nice last night?"

They both nodded.

"Good. Because I think you boys should move this love-in to somewhere that isn't here so a Fallen Angel in retirement can do some work, hmm?"

He turned away from them, listening to them whisper and giggle as they got dressed.

"Kids." He muttered in feigned disgust.

"Lucifer?"

"Hmm?"

"We'll be off then."

"All righty. Have a nice night kids, although I know you probably will. And Loki – go easy, okay?"

"I am, Lucifer." Loki turned adoring blue eyes onto Bartleby, who's own brown ones were full of adoration. "I love this guy after all."

Arm in arm, they left the room, leaving Lucifer to his books and his bed.