Summary:  B/S. Buffy tells Xander--and he gets mad. A must-read for Xander fans.

1. Revelations
 

Buffy drew a deep breath into her lungs. Closure. This was all about closure. This was about finally closing the door on a dark chapter of her life. Coming clean to her friends, yada yada yada.

Xander was working on a chest, painting it. At least, Anya had said he was painting it, but he appeared to be rubbing it with some kind of paper right now. How...weird.

"Xander!" She greeted him brightly.

"Oh, hi." He said, distractedly. "Come on in, Buffy. My house is your house, and my ear is your ear. Or something like that." He was rubbing the paper against the chest in quick, brisk stroke, stopping occasionally to run his fingers over the chest.

"Xander. Um. I, uh, have something to tell you." She stammered out.

"Okay." He nodded, glancing up and making eye contact. She dropped her eyes.

"I...Spike and I...we were, uh..."

Xander raised an eyebrow. "Just spit it out." He said helpfully.

"We've been sleeping together." She admited.

"What?" He asked, dropping the paper and staring at her. "You've been sleeping with Spike?"

She blushed, nodding. "Yeah. Me and Spike."

He narrowed his eyes. "Buffy, what--?!"

"It wasn't about love! I needed something!" She shot in quickly. "I needed something to feel alive."

"But--!" Xanders face reflected a deep rage.

"It's over!" She shot out quickly. "I ended it. I couldn't keep on. It was killing me."

"And you're telling me...why?" He asked quietly, his demeanor boiling with rage.

"Well, I'm trying to get a little closure. The entire time the thing with Spike was going on, I kept it a big secret, so now I'm telling everybody. I told Willow and Dawn and--"

Xander cut her off. "You were sleeping with him. And you didn't, and don't, love him. And you broke up with him." He turned his back to her, staring at the wall. Buffy took a deep breath.

"Xander, I understand if you're mad, and everything. But its all in the past. And--"

"How'd Spike take the news that you were breaking up?" Asked Xander. She gave a tentative half-shrug.

"He didn't go all evil-ly, if that's what you're asking."

Xander stared at her like she was crazy. "Let me be sure I have this straight. You took a guy, a guy who said he loved you, used him, and then trod him under your heel when you were done with him? And now you can't even be bothered to know what it did to the poor guy?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Xan, this is Spike we're talking about. Big Bad. Vamp."

Xander barked a laugh. "Yeah, I know who we're talking about. We're talking about the creep to end all creeps. But he's also the creep who's been utterly and totally devoted to you for how long now? The guy who's helped you."

"I thought--"

"You thought that because I don't like the bastard I'd let you do what you want to him? Hurt him how you want to? Take somebody who helped you and crush him? I hate him, let's be clear, okay. I hate him. But what you did to him, Buffy? Yanking his chain like that then destroying him? That's wrong. That's like...like killing puppies. That's downright evil, Buffy."

"Yeah? I don't see you falling over yourself to be nice to him, either?"

"Nice to him?" Xander laughed. "Buffy, hating him the way I do is one thing. But you ... you got his hopes up. You let him almost have what he wanted...and then you tore his world out from under him." He stopped, his chin quivering. "Maybe I just feel this way as a member of the dumped males society. But what you did...that was just ... that was something worse than anything Spike ever did to you."

He walked out, leaving her sitting there with a painted chest.

//If you review me I might continue it. My first Buffy fic; usually work in the other areas.