Subject: [BA_Gutter] FIC: Together Again 15/25 Date: Tue, 29 Jun 2004 15:39:04 -0000 From: "sunnyd_lite7" Title: Together Again Author: SunnyD_Lite Spoilers: Follows 'Tangled Webs' which has spoilers to Shells, then goes on its merry way. Rating: PG but there is Spike language – you have been warned. Disclaimer: Joss, ME, Sanddollar, and other corporate types own every conceivable copyright and interest in the characters. They stopped playing with them, so I thought I would. No profit, no foul, right guys? A/N: First off, hugs and doughnuts to my betas Pattyanne and Desota_hia_873. They made sure my ideas resembled sense. This piece will make more sense if you've read Tangled Webs, now on the sandlot. Thanks to all those who keep commenting! Feedback, makes me do the snoopy dance! Chapter 15 On the way to Wes's apartment, in Wes's car, Gunn decided to bite the bullet. The team was real strong on the avoidance, time to face the piper. "I've been thinking about the memories," he started. He watched Wesley's stiff upper lip turn into granite. "I don't know why we treated you so badly. I know emotions were running high, but we were a crew. We should never have done that to you." Wesley stayed tense, but he was in 'active listening' mode. "Not excusing you for not talking to us before. We might have found a different way to handle it, BUT," Gunn paused, because it was critical that this next point was clear, "we've got a second chance here, seeing cause and effect. Seeing all our behaviour. You were there for us, even when we weren't for you. I know I'm sorry, man. We can't do it over, but can you forgive us? Can we go forward?" He'd been thinking about this speech all day. He'd thought about what HE would want to hear. That they'd been wrong. That he'd been valued. That there was a chance at a future. Gunn wasn't sure if anyone would tell HIM these things, but he wanted to make sure that Wes heard them. Wes made a muffled sound, which Gunn, if he'd been feeling uncharitably, might call a sob. He made sure he looked out the side window, giving the man a few moments to pull himself together. Sure, men bonded, but Kleenex was rarely the glue. Wes spoke, quietly. Gunn strained to hear him. "Could you forgive me? I'm still not sure if I can forgive myself. Taking away Angel's son, his future. Giving Connor to his enemy. How can that EVER be forgiven? Do you know that Lilah's first gift to me was Dante's Inferno? She made sure to highlight the reference to Judas Iscariot. Can I ever be anything else?" "Not so much with the Bible study, but while Mom was alive, she made sure we got to church on Sundays. Judas was forgiven, even before he acted. Not saying that we're saints, but Wes, any punishment you might have deserved you got ten-fold. We've worked together for almost a year under the memory wipe. Can't we do so with the apple of knowledge? And that basically exhausts my biblical allusions." Wes' lips to twitch upwards in his version of a grin, as Gunn hoped they would. "I would like that. I was trained to be a Watcher, to act alone. I've decided that I don't like it. I'm good at it, mind you, but I preferred the team. Do you think the others feel as you do? Or could feel..." His voice petered out. Pieces fell into place. Gunn did look at him this time. "Is that why you're balking at doing the spell on Fred? Do you think that your relationship will change with the new memories?" They'd arrived at Wesley's building and were sitting in the parked car. "Of course it will. How could it not?" "She trusts you. She did when we still had our memories. Don't think I don't know about her turning to you for help with the Professor. When things got tough, she didn't trust me. She trusted you. That's saying a lot about her feelings. They're strong and they run deep and they weren't built just on the false memories." He didn't want to say these things, but they were true. Lies had only harmed the group. Maybe this would help heal it. Fred wasn't his girl anymore. Hadn't been for a while. He knew it and saying it out loud hurt less than he thought it would. "Do you really think so?" The question was asked as cautiously as a bomb squad member checking what colour wire to cut. "Only one way to find out. You'll have to be strong, for her. Given what I know of her, she'll be needing your forgiveness, but she might not have enough faith to ask for it." "Why would SHE need forgiveness, compared to what I did..." Gunn interrupted him. "But that's not who she'll be comparing herself to, champ. Can you do it? Will you forgive her? If not, maybe it would be better to leave it as is. I don't want Fred in more pain then absolutely necessary. I already promised you that if you hurt her, I'd kill ya like a chicken. Don't make me enforce that." Wes took a deep breath. Gunn watched him close his eyes tightly, then exhale. When Wes turned to look at him, he looked him in the eye with an inner strength Gunn had always suspected. "I can. I will. And the terms are still acceptable." "So, dawn's spell time?" "Yes. We'll do the spell at dawn." "Guess we'd better get all supplied up then." There was still a little wariness between the two of them. But Gunn felt as if the Defcon level had dropped from the red zone, to nearing green. Funny how Spike was right with the whole talking thing. He could just see the poster now, 'Everything I needed to know about life, I learned from souled vampires.' Nah, it would never be a big seller. Shaking his head, he followed Wesley into the building for supplies.