Subject: [DarkSlash] Bedlam Cats 10: Boobarella is Extremely Offensive (Buffy/AbFab CO)
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 08:33:17 -0000
From: "sycoraxil" <sycoraxil@yahoo.co.nz>


Summary: The Bedlam Cats must keep abreast of Boobarella, a
nightmarish character who is annoying the hell out of them by
refusing to leave this fanfic series and get one of her own. Even if
she was trapped in the Jackass Universe, she's somehow managed to
get out and get back into this narrative.

Disclaimer: Spike is imported from the Buffyverse, and Joss Whedon,
UPN and Mutant Enemy own him. While he/they also own Kitty
Fantastico and Patches, two Buffyverse felines, their offspring were
all my own idea. As for Boobarella, Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley
and AbFab should be ashamed of themselves for that hideous sequence
which has haunted me every since.


Cheap Seminaked Spike reference: Yes, Spike appears naked, oiled,
glistening and chained yet again in this episode.

"Oh, bloody nora!" exclaimed Lestat the vampire cat, who had just
read the caption above, and was abruptly relegated to an inset where
he was recollecting gratuitous scenes of a scantily clad Spike
writhing in abandon and thrusting his taut, muscled masculine body
against his bonds.

"Yes. Vampire Pussies. I am back. To have my wicked way with
Spikikins. Again. And again. And again. Little black vinyl catsuit."
"Look, you. Stop freeloading off this fanfic series. Does it
read 'The Bedlam Cats v Boobarella, The Monster Mammaries From
Eroticon VI?' No, it does not." Claudia growled at the impossibly
endowed adversary.
"Now look what you've done. The poor fanfic author is inflicting
purple prose on the poor innocent audience." Louie pointed out.
[Hey!- the author].
"I'm. Just fulfilling. The libidinal urges. Of most of the
redblooded female and gayboy Buffy fans. Out there. Why do you.
Stand in the way. Of my innocent. Pleasure?"
"Ah ha! Got you!" Louie said triumphantly, as a hardened team of
Wolfram and Hart trade description assault lawyers descended on
Boobarella and bore her off to a hell dimension.

 Fifteen thousand million years later, my progeny fled the embers of
this dying universe through a singularity. I do not know their
whereabouts, but I know that they still exist. I could tell you
about their lives on a new world after the Great Ensoulment, but
that's a tale for another time.

 Kitty Fantastico
 Powers That Be
 Infinity.
                      THE END

 "You. Haven't. Heard. The Last of. Me." Boobarella threatened, as
Spike shivered in his bed, the sheets falling off, as he moaned in
carnal ecstacy and felt a most unvampiric heat stimulating his body
as he

 Xander    "A cucumber, Spike?"
           "         the olive oil is virgin, Harris."
           "Wow, that's really small, Liam,"

  [I said The End. Will you bloody fanfic characters stop having
textual relations, I've just had tea...the Author]

                         I SAID, THE END